(Author's note: Y'all sure are quiet this time around. Does that mean you hate it? You can cuss at me, you know. Telling me why you hate things will help ensure less hateable stuff in future. Jus sayin. :p)
To Some Secret Hole
"There you are," Severus remarked on encountering Loraina en route to Minerva's quarters, "I've been looking for you."
She passed him as if unable to see or hear him, even though his head, at the very least, was clearly visible. "Damn it, Loraina," he huffed, turning to chase her down. He didn't have the energy to tip-toe around her tantrum. "The Headmaster asked me to speak to you on his behalf."
"I'm heading that direction," she shrugged, not slowing. "I'll go see him later."
"He isn't there. Loraina," he barked, stepping in her way to force her to come to a stop. "The matter is serious." She sighed and rolled her eyes but waited for him to say his piece. Severus reached for patience he didn't possess and continued. "We need to keep an especially close watch on Harry," he explained. "We can't have him roaming the halls as usual."
"Shame that. As I've just seen him leave his dormitory," she drawled, stepping around the man, to Severus' extreme agitation. Damn it. He'd not been vague when he'd ordered the young man to stay put.
"What do you mean he's left? Why didn't you follow him?" he demanded to her retreating back.
"I wasn't aware it was part of the job description," she snapped back. "Though I'm fairly certain he was headed in the direction of the love nest we found last night." She paused finally, but only to turn back and hiss, "If you hurry, I'm sure you can make it there in time to take a turn with him yourself." Then she continued on her way, barely breaking stride.
Severus watched her go, his cheeks flaming for a myriad of reasons. He sputtered at the insinuation, but he could no longer claim he wanted no such thing. For the love of Hermes, had it always been so obvious to others? Did she really believe it of him? She'd been taunting him that way for weeks.
But more importantly, he realized: Harry was in the alcove. Severus immediately abandoned all effort at further conversation and pulled the cloak he wore over his head, practically sprinting to the scene of the suspected crime.
It was a disaster. Not only was Harry almost certainly doing things to further erode his magical protection, he was doing them with someone other than Severus. Of course, Severus would never. But that was entirely beside the point! Though it had been vicarious, Severus had just held the young man, could practically still taste him on his lips. Regardless of how irrational it was, the sense of betrayal Severus felt imagining him with another was impossible for him to shake.
It was not helped by what greeted him when he turned the corner. One did not need preternatural hearing to catch the muffled curse that carried from the curtained recess as he approached it. In another context, it might have been worrisome, indicating injury or anger, but that didn't make it any less alarming. Severus was forced to hear it uttered a second time before he reached its source. He pulled back the tapestry (mildly surprised he hadn't yanked it from its moorings) to find Harry pinned against the wall with his eyes scrunched shut, grimacing as a blond head buried itself in the young man's crotch. It was gorgeously hideous; erotic and, unlike Severus' reaction to it, completely unambiguous. Severus was flooded with number of dangerous emotions born of a number of different inspirations. The only thing he knew for certain was that this must be stopped at all costs.
His first impulse was to rip the offending yellow thing away from Harry, but he had no doubt he'd have caused the other boy real injury before he managed to convince his fingers to release him. He reached, instead, for Harry, grasping him by the back of the neck to yank him from the alcove and into the hall. Even that was far more violent than intended, and he was surprised to find himself pinning the youth to the far wall.
Harry did not respond, though, to Severus' demanding glare. He was clearly lost, shocked by the assault but unable, Severus realized, to see what accosted him. The man yanked the cloak from his head with the hand not struggling not to throttle the teenager and resumed his dirty look. "What in hell do you think you are doing?" he snarled. It was difficult to remember, amidst the whirlwind of his emotions, why he was meant to object to what he'd seen and what it was safe and logical to shout at the young man. He stripped the rest of the cloak while he reached for what to say next. He settled on, "I thought I told you to stay in your fucking room! "
Harry did not respond other than to stare at the man, and Severus had a sinking sense of Deja Vu. It was unthinkable enough to shock Severus out of his rage, but he had the benefit Lupin's hindsight, and so the young man's expression was hard to misread. Not that it was especially personal. Severus reflected on what he'd just interrupted and how difficult it was for anyone to shake that state in so short a time; he also looked down and realized he pressed Harry in place against the wall with a disgustingly intimate proportion of his body. He swept back, suddenly embarrassed by his lapse in control, and Harry fell to the floor.
Severus had to get a hold on himself. He'd erred too much already, and Albus hadn't even been away half an hour. He'd wasted the cloak as a resource, betrayed their knowledge of the alcove, assaulted the young man he was meant to protect; all in a jealous rage over a minor with whom he had never actually been personally involved. It was not one of Severus' finer moments.
He watched the disconcerted young man stagger back to his feet, and Severus was tipped off balance once again. Apparently Harry had been too caught off guard by the flurry of events to realize he'd not been given the opportunity to put himself away. Flustered, Severus commanded him to do just that. Gods, he was still practically hard. Severus refused to admit to himself that the sight affected him in any way other than to offend his prudish sensibilities.
Harry blushed crimson as he quickly turned away to obey. "It's a little late for modesty, Harry," Severus pointed out witheringly before striding back over to the wall-hanging and drawing it back. He felt exposed in the open corridor. If anyone were to wander up to the scene, their mutual embarrassment might finish them both. They needed privacy while he tried to figure out how to sort this ungodly mess. "In here," he directed.
Harry baulked at the command, and it took Severus half a moment to realize why. For fuck's sake, just what did the boy think Severus wanted him there for? And damn it. Why was he putting ideas into Severus' head! He lowered a glower at the reluctant teenager. "We need to talk," he hissed. "Now."
Thankfully, the young man didn't argue. Harry shuffled, red-faced, back into the nook and took a seat, unable to look at Severus as he passed; and Severus followed reluctantly, despite that he was the one who ordered them there.
The scent of arousal hung heavy in the air, making Harry's proximity torturous in the stifling confines of the alcove. He was only very slightly less virginal than earlier that evening, and Severus was almost overwhelmed by more than one appetite, the newest being unfamiliar enough to be nearly unmanageable. Harry stared resolutely at the floor as Severus paced the ridiculously short space in order to calm his still-confounding arousal. He had not yet come to terms with the absurdity of the situation when Harry asked, "Is that mine?" as he stared pointedly at the cloak held in a death-grip in Severus' fist.
Oh, of all the things to be worried over at a time like this. "Not at the moment," Severus said belligerently, still pacing.
"Where'd you get it?" Harry persisted with a scowl. "I gave it to Dumbledore."
"Who gave it to me," Severus snapped, "to keep an eye on you while he's away."
"What? Wait. You were spying on me?" Harry asked incredulously.
Severus had never really had an opportunity, though he'd had every intention, and would clearly have been justified. "Obviously you need a bloody keeper!" he groused. But Harry's recent embarrassment was a thing of the past and he confronted the assertion angrily.
"What for?!" he sputtered. "For Merlin's sake! To make sure I don't get a bloody blow job along with half the rest of this school?"
"Exactly!" Severus hissed, finally stopping his pacing to glare at the young man. The mention of blow jobs reawakened the image in his memory of the Harry being serviced by some golden-haired, no doubt grossly attractive youth, and his blood boiled anew. Somehow, Severus had completely forgotten about the little reprobate.
Harry shot to his feet, incensed. "Listen, I don't know that it's anyone's goddamn business if I get laid," he shouted, his posture defiant, almost challenging. "It's not like I was hurting anyone!"
Severus thought of all the harm such a thing could actually do, how much time and energy and talent would be wasted, and he had the urge to strike the young man. He actually lunged, though regained his self-control at the last moment. Harry hadn't even flinched.
Severus reminded himself that the boy was clueless to all of that, and that it was partly his fault Harry remained so. Despite Albus' wishes, the revelation could no longer be delayed, it seemed. And Severus was not pleased to be the one to have to deliver it.
"Sit down," Severus ordered. When Harry made no move to do so, he added, "NOW!"
Harry didn't so much sit as the ferocity in Severus' voice and expression turned his knees to putty and he collapsed. Severus took a calming breath. Shouting at Harry would accomplish nothing productive.
But the information he was about to impart was complicated, and there was no possible way it would be well received. He didn't even know where to start.
"You are not half this school, Harry," he explained with forced calm. "Certain safeguards have been put in place, certain spells that are only truly effective while the subject maintains their...innocence." He wasn't sure why he felt the sudden compulsion toward delicacy, except that he realized he hadn't spoken aloud about sexual matters for an embarrassingly long time. And he sure as hell had never expected to speak about them with Harry Bloody Potter.
Harry looked at Severus skeptically. "What are you saying?" he asked, almost as if trying to work out if the man was having him on. "I can't have sex because it will break a few spells ?"
Clearly, he was not conveying the scope of the situation. "Not just a few, Harry," Severus said wearily, taking a heavy seat as far from the young man as he could manage. "And they aren't mere spells. They are so much more."
Severus looked at Harry's scowling incredulity, and his jealousy and frustration cooled to be replaced by a reluctant compassion. He finally simply saw Harry for what he was: a teenaged boy who was doing what came naturally; who was actually doing it far later than many of his peers because of what Severus had helped do to the poor boy when he was just an infant. It was time he tried to explain Harry's situation properly and with respect, and to hope the young man was able to appreciate the necessity of what they'd tried to do.
"Harry, what recent generations seem to have forgotten is that sex is not just sex," he went on, uncomfortably. "Not for a Wizard. It is a rite of passage. It affects a person on a fundamental magical level. As such, there is some magic that works best on virgins, particularly protective magic. Alternatively, there is magic that only comes into its full potency when virginity is lost. But virginity isn't a switch that one flips," he stressed in response to Harry's impatient expression. "It can be eroded. Intercourse is simply the point of no return. It rarely matters these days," he conceded, "so people forget. Magic changes. It evolves. But the basis of all magic goes back to a time when purity was paramount and evil was absolute. The world was not always so grey."
Harry seemed to digest this, still disgruntled but coming around.
"When you were born," Severus continued, hoping to take advantage of the young man's increasing openness, "or rather, when it was realized what your destiny could be, several steps were taken. Old Magic was used, Harry. Potent, primitive magic like the kind that saved your life the night your parents died." In fact, it had been just that accidental magic that had given Albus the idea to use the arcane spells in the first place. "While it can be as simple as a Mother's love, it's rarely that easy . But it was necessary," he said, seeing resignation seep into Harry's expression. Severus sighed. "You didn't think we dropped you off with a bunch of Muggles with nothing more to protect you than a baby blanket, did you?"
Harry, however, was far from assuaged. Instead of the anger he expected, Severus could veritably see the weight of the young man's destiny settle firmly onto his shoulders, slumping his posture. Again, Severus spied the defeat and the finely-matured despondency he'd first recognized at the start of term; and quite contrary to character, he felt the impulse to embrace the young man. He supposed, irritably, that too much of Lupin must still linger in his system.
"Why didn't someone just tell me all this before?" Harry asked, weary to his soul.
Severus shifted uncomfortably. "It was considered. But it only recently became a possi-"
Severus bit off the rest of that thought. He wasn't certain yet that it was wise to give Harry the whole truth. What they'd broached already was weighty enough as it was, and he didn't want to completely crush the young man. Perhaps he should wait for a later conversation to break the full injustice of the situation to him. "Only recently became an issue," he amended quickly. "And partly we were afraid that if we told you you couldn't, you'd do it for spite," he added in a mutter.
"You all really thought I'd go and…" He couldn't seem to put the act into words. "Just to spit in your eye?" Harry sputtered. Severus winced at Harry's obvious offense. Which was more than justified. That last comment really hadn't been necessary. Severus wrote it off as habit and tried to cut the condescension.
"Alright, I thought that," he admitted peevishly. "But when it became an imperative, you were already dealing with so much that the Headmaster wasn't sure how you'd handle another revelation. And another prohibition."
"When it became an imperative?" Harry demanded, becoming increasingly annoyed. "Just when did you all figure out when that was?" he asked flippantly. "No one was following me on my dates with Cho. Or were you, and I simply didn't notice?" he sneered.
Severus's sardonics seemed to be rubbing off on the boy, he thought grudgingly. But it was a fair question and despite his earlier hope, it was clear the matter could not go undiscussed.
"There is something else, perhaps, you should know," Severus admitted with much hesitance. Harry pinched the bridge of his nose as if warding off an intolerable headache but motioned for Severus to continue. "Considering the importance of your purity, another spell was cast."
"Of course, it was," Harry muttered.
Severus scowled. He knew this news was unpleasant all around, but he really thought Harry might try to see their perspective. "It was not simply to ensure the protections. It was a protection in itself. Little was known about your relatives or their possible... inclinations," he pointed out defensively. "It may, however, have had some unintended consequences," he confessed.
Harry stared at him incredulously before muttering, "Just get on with it, Snape." Severus hated that. He hated the way Harry said his surname like a curse. The young man's undisguised insolence was starting to chafe, and Severus' scowl was instantly reinforced. "What is it?" Harry snapped, ruffling Severus further.
Severus' tone turned decidedly less sympathetic. "It was a kind of magical chastity belt," he explained flatly. "It was intended to deflect all sexual interest."
Harry seemed confused. Angry, as well, but mostly confused. "But I've had loads of interest," he argued, "just this term. Hell, just this week I've gotten about ten heart-doodled propositions. And I don't think they were all tongue-in-cheek. Not to mention-"
"You turned sixteen," Severus said, abruptly cutting him off, unable to bear hearing the details of Harry's romantic life. "The spell broke automatically when you reached the lawful age of consent as determined by the Ministry of Magic."
Harry blinked at him, and Severus watched as some significant comprehension washed over him. Harry looked back up at the Potions Master, disconcerted and overwhelmed.
"While I would not suggest you pursue a career in modelling," Severus drawled in grudging response, "you are not an unattractive young man, Harry." Voicing it had been difficult, mostly because it reminded Severus, uncomfortably, of just how long he'd been contemplating that fact; and how it affected him now. "It's simply that, before your sixteenth birthday, no one was allowed to notice it. And to those who knew you and were so inclined," he said somewhat sarcastically, as if he wasn't suddenly one of them, "the contrast was somewhat striking, I believe."
"But Cho," Harry said, still struggling with the epiphany. "And Ginny?"
Severus snorted. "When Ginny Weasley first met you, she was ten and you were a celebrity," he sneered. "Then you became her personal hero a year later. That isn't attraction, Harry," he said witheringly. "It's idol worship. And Miss Chang, I believe, was simply a confused young girl, reassigning her feelings for her lost boyfriend to the last person to see him alive. The only other person who seemed to be as affected by his loss as she was." Severus sighed theatrically. "Thus is the nature of the romances of young people, Harry. Hormones and confusion," he said with a shake of his head.
Harry sat quietly for a while, processing this new information, when something seemed to dawn on him. "You said it was a protection. From my relatives. You said it had unintended consequences," Harry prompted accusingly.
Well, hell. He'd finally worked it out. Somehow, Severus had hoped he wouldn't. But there was no sense in pussyfooting around the matter. Severus would simply have to brace for the aftermath.
"As we would not have access to you again for some time, and since the effects can gradually weaken over time, the spell initially had to be considerably strong," he explained. "At the time it was cast, it made you rather distasteful in general, to be honest." Harry's brow furrowed, and he glared at Severus who shifted uncomfortably under the weight of it. "And it may have had a stronger effect on those unaccustomed to the influence of magic as a matter of course."
Harry's anger didn't take long to build before bursting forth. "Are you telling me my entire shitty childhood -all the rejection and disgust and ill-treatment I lived through at the hands of the Dursleys: being locked in cupboards and starved and beaten and bullied- was because I was wearing some hyper-potent invisible chastity belt?!" Harry demanded. "Some bloody fucking protection," he spat, disgusted.
Severus was so shocked by the content of the outburst he completely failed to notice Harry's foul language. Of course, he'd known Harry had been locked in a cupboard, however much he'd like to forget it. But he hadn't been aware the boy had been physically abused or deprived of food. Though, really, it wasn't much of a stretch from solitary confinement. If a man could lock a child in a cupboard, he could do almost anything.
"It is one possibility," Severus replied with a scowl of his own. "But perhaps better than the possibility of being molested by your uncle," he snapped. "Or worse." But his anger wasn't really directed at Harry.
If Severus ever met Harry's family...he'd be sent to Azkaban, it was as simple as that. He was almost surprised the abuse hadn't included that element, despite the spell. Bullies like that didn't commit those kinds of crimes out of sexual inclination. Severus should know. It was an assertion of power and control, meant purely to hurt and humiliate.
"I can't believe nobody has told me until now," Harry said, shaking his head reproachfully. "And that it was you of all people!"
Severus, still distracted by the violence he felt toward the Dursley's, was more bothered than usual to recognize the young man's obvious distaste for him. Here he was, contemplating murder on the young man's behalf, and Harry could hardly seem to bear the sight of him.
"Harry," he began, his tone part irritation, part apology, and double parts exasperation. But Harry cut him off, so frustrated he looked as if he might cry.
"You all treat me like I'm still a child! Even you ," he sneered, "with all your talk of my 'right to choose'."
Severus narrowed his eyes at the young man. He clearly remembered saying those words, but he could have sworn it was done in confidence. Surely Albus hadn't relayed their private conversation. "When did you-?" But the thought was cut short by the sound of someone approaching in the corridor.
Severus cursed under his breath and peeked out of the wall-hanging. Of all the bloody times to be interrupted. Who in hell was even out at this hour?
"It's only Filch," he reported, seeing the caretaker's lantern swinging as he hobbled his way past them, grumbling under his breath about 'ruddy wards' and 'bloody troublemakers'. The remarks troubled Severus, so much so that it even drove the present matter out of his mind. He knew for a fact that no one had been down this way for some time, and there was very little in the direction the man was traveling save Severus' own classroom and the dungeons. It was not even the entrance to them Slytherin House typically used. If something had disturbed the wards, it had not come from within the Castle.
"We'll finish this later, Harry. Stay here for now," he instructed him distractedly, slipping out of the alcove, his heart tripping in his chest. Severus pulled on his well-practiced mask, the one he wore frequently when interacting with the enemy. He had no idea what he might be heading into, but instinct told him it was nothing good.
"You're out quite late, Mr. Filch," Severus said mildly by way of greeting, startling the man who hadn't noticed him approach from behind. The caretaker swung his lantern around to see Severus properly.
"Yessir, Professor Snape. It's the ruddy wards," he explained. "Someone's been tamperin' with 'em again. Bloody kids," he grumbled under his breath. "I've just come to investigate. But you'd have thought I'd 'ave seen the buggers trying to escape by now. It's just up here." He motioned with his lantern.
Severus, however, didn't need a lantern to see there was nothing whatsoever in the darkened corridor. "Show me," he demanded, increasingly unsettled.
"Aright. Like I said, it's just this way," Filch shrugged, shuffling off in that direction. Severus followed, but the man's progress was painfully slow. He was just contemplating leaving Filch behind to go investigate independently when he saw a pale blue glow ignite ahead, seeming to hover in mid-air. Severus glanced back to the wall hanging with a curse, guessing immediately what it must be.
He'd left the ruddy cloak behind.
Damned impertinent Gryffindor! Why could he never simply do as he was told?
