All of my energy was practically wasted trying my best to appear as though I was merely tired, as soon as I left his presence my body become heavier and heavier until I finally collapsed into my bedroom. My body felt relieved by this, and yet everything felt quite wrong. It was as if my body simply didn't know what to do anymore so when I finally tried to pull myself up my body resisted me.

What? I tried to move again, this time getting some results. Oh come on! Minutes go by before I find myself standing on my two feet, shaky, wobbly feet, but still better then being on the floor. I take a deep breathe and slowly move my legs across towards my bed.

And to add to the list of strange things happening to me, why does it feel like my legs have forgotten how to walk? I toss away the thought not wanting to think more about the answer, and cause I really need to make my way across this room. So I started taking small steps.

And even a few more minutes pass before I make it to my bed, which I plop down onto, just to nearly falling off as I try to steady my balance to sit.

Everything is still so heavy...

Such a heavy, heavy damn weight all over me. I think my mind is hazy too...

Belladonna swoops into the room with grace and flutters down beside me as if nothing bad is happening to me. "Belladonna." I manage to weakly get out of my mouth. "W-what...is happening?"

She ponders for a moment. "...I suppose you leaving your body so much is causing...problems?" Oh really?

I want to give a sarcastic remark, but I am still not able to breathe well and by the time I finally am able to, my anger has subsided. "I understood that, I meant why is it happening, I only slipped out of my body for a few mere seconds."

She goes quiet. I become anxious. Does...she not know why? Please don't let that be so.

She speaks again before my anxiety gets the better of me. "Yes, but you are forgetting about the seal, its still bound to you and as result is going to make things a lot more stressful on your body."

I just nod and that in itself causes some pain to me, I wince. "I'm going to sleep now." I don't wait for a response I get under my covers and curl up.

Dumb me its going to take forever for me to sleep especially in this state...so I let my thoughts wander seeing my head doesn't feel so fuzzy anymore.

Stupid seal, why do I even have one? When did I get one? I wish the thing would break at least then I could have full control over this ability of mine, but nope gotta wait, and wait, and hope for the best.

I'm so tired of waiting though! I used to be so good at being patient to get what I want, but this situation is making that very hard for me to do.

I think something else not wanting to become angry again, it solves nothing.

If...I were to keep causing strain on it would it break faster? I could try that out, but the after affects don't sound pleasant at all.

I grumble.

I wish I had more help in this, Belladonna doesn't seem to really know much herself which is very worrying. Can I even trust her? For all I know she could of put the seal there herself.

Ugh I shouldn't think that, I mean she has been somewhat helpful, and plus she really doesn't give off any bad vibes, plus she a raven for crying out loud how much harm could she even cause other then cawing angrily and maybe marking up someones face with her tiny claws.

Yeah...

Still...more help would be amazing though...I have no one to tell anything about this to. Ellen would, for my own safety, tell someone else about this and Virginia...yeah no that isn't happening. Twila on the other hand...she did know about Grim and didn't tell anyone about them, but then again she hates me an awful lot right now...

And my mind wanders towards the one thought I really didn't wish to think.

Professor Grabiner...he I don't know. Probably yell at me to no ends for keeping it secret for so long, goodness...he would be so upset, even more so after what I said to him earlier. Ouch. That's not even counting the demerits and detentions I would get...

Anyways earlier with him was...nice. I got to learn more about him and I sorta made him laugh again. Ugh, why did he even try to stop himself? I like it when he laughs, or smiles, it makes me so happy.

Oh and how concerned he looked at me earlier or any of the times before that as well. Shesh, he actually cares about me, heh, that is nice too.

Everything about him is nice...

I started to feel a jittery feeling in my chest again and it actually made me think all the bad things that happened to me as of late wasn't so bad.

That scared me.

I feel a pang of pain in my head again, ouch. I sigh. This feels very reminiscent to how I was when I was little. Weak, tired, and helpless.

I hate this.

This horridly dreadful feelings that I've been plagued with lately. The shakiness of my body, the wooziness in my head, and just well everything, its all just so bad to feel this way again. Its just all too familiar. What did I do to deserve this again?

I discard these thoughts as well. Thinking like this won't help me, I just need to sleep for a bit, things will probably feel better afterward, or at least be easier to deal with seeing my mind is still a little hazy.

I finally fall asleep.


I had a nightmare. Not a simple nightmare that makes you wake up in the middle of the night scared before soon calming yourself down and sleeping again, something far worse. Things that leave a impact on you for the rest of the day, and make you fear to sleep again once night returns. I was used to those or at least I should of been, and yet here I was shaking fearfully in the middle of the night with tears rolling down my face unable to open my eyes, for I was scared of everything around me.

I could hear Belladonna trying to calming me down, but it was a wasted attempt. I was just so terrified of something? Nothing? I can't remember what even happened to me while I was sleeping and I was not about to even try to find out.

Just no...

My breathing became panicked, but finally before it became too bad I calmed down, somewhat. I was still shaking and wheezing a bit, but at least I wasn't so overcome by fear anymore.

Stay calm, take deep breaths, and open my eyes nothing bad is happening to me. I told myself this for what seemed like forever before it finally took affect.

Though I had to wipe my eyes a good few times before I could see properly, but when I did fully open my eyes everything was dark. I wonder what time it is? I look around the room a bit more. Yup everything is normal, nothing terrif-

Something black moves before me and I jump. It's Belladonna. Darn it good job almost scaring me right back into the state I was in before. She moves away from me realizing her mistake.

"Apologies." I just sigh, for the millionth time today.

"What time is it?" I think its about three in the morning, seeing that was usually the time I would wake up scared from nightmares.

"Two in the morning." Oh close enough. Either way I won't be going back to sleep that's for sure.

I slowly move my body out of my bed and manage to stand without any trouble. I take a few steps forward and shake my head a bit. No pain, no nothing. I am well, if you don't count the state I was in just a second before.

I start to feel uneasy again. Its too dark in here, and it feels so fucking stuffy. I need air, room, something anything just not this.

"I...am going to walk the hallways a bit." I would rather go outside for fresh air, but that definitely isn't going to happen.


The halls are dark, much like my dorm room, but at least are slightly bit lighter, which is infinitely better when you rather never be in the dark at all. It was such a childish fear of mine which I still bore oddly enough after all these years, and it wasn't particularly the dark itself that bothered me, it was what could come from it.

And what came from it was a voice from somewhere around me. "You shouldn't be roaming the halls."

"Ah!" I scream and shake even though I clearly can tell who's voice it is.

Professor Grabiner casts a small light spell and comes closer towards me. "Are you okay?"

"N-nightmare." Is all I can bring myself to say as I am trying to calm myself down again.

The hallway around us then lights up, causing me to blink a few times as I try to adjust to the new lighting. "Better?" He says softly.

I simply nod my head as I focus on stilling my breathe. I am calm again.

"Do you have them often?" He finally asks.

"Yes? No? Its weird, I had them nonstop when I was little, could never recall the events in them either, but they stopped after I turned thirteen, and now here they are, once again, man, I-I thought I was done with this, then again I shouldn't be surprised seems like everything from my past is creeping back up on me again, and I mean everything, oh I'm so fucking tired of this." I didn't mean to ramble on like that, nor curse, but I did, and then I feel myself about to cry.

"I just thought things would get easier to deal with as I got older, not harder." And with that, I do cry, and I don't have the ability to even try to stop or hide it. I am just too tired.

He is silent, which isn't surprising, I'm a fucking wreck, no I've been a wreck since I first got here, and everything is just spiraling downward from there. I want it to stop, just for a minute or a second, just please make it stop.

But its not, its never going to stop, I just got to deal with it like I've dealt with everything else in my life, no...no wonder Twila is always so volatile, how in the world did I not end up like her after the things we both been through?

I didn't hear him come closer to me over my loud sobbing, but I did notice when he wrapped his arms around me. I freeze for a moment and I think I feel him pull away a bit before I quickly wrap my arms around him and start crying again.

And I cry and cry and cry until I can no longer cry anymore tears, and then I feel him pull away quickly. "Are you better now?" He sounds embarrassed, or perhaps frightened? I can't tell.

"Y-yeah, thank you..." Everything becomes silent then, and as result I start to feel awkward. What do I say now? "Why are you up sir?"

"To make sure students aren't wandering the hallways causing trouble." Oh.

"Am I...going to get demerits?" I mean I didn't really do anything bad, unless you count crying all over a professor bad.

He laughs, and now I am the one who is embarrassed, what did I do? "No Miss Araceli."

"Okay." I feel like I should return to my room now, but I don't want to, not yet. "Um do you ever have really bad nightmares?"

He is silent and I start to think he won't answer. "Often." He finally says. What? Before I can ask about it he speaks again. "You should return to bed now that you are feeling better." Ugh, I should of known.

"Alright, goodnight sir, I-" I pause for a moment. "I hope you have good dreams." I smile before turning away from him and running off back to my dorm room.