Chapter 29: Angsty Celebrations

Summary: Shirley and Andre remarry

"Andre's kinda hot."

Annie almost spit out her appletini at Britta's words.

On her left, a tiara-crowned Shirley nodded, a giddy expression on her face. She held up her hands and spread her fingers wide.

"Um hm. He's mighty fine. Believe it or not ladies, although he's always been a stud, he's gotten finer with age."

Resuming the grip on her bag, she added with a lilt in her voice, "Sometimes earlier matches are re-ward-ed."

Britta slurred her words slightly as she said, "I have to admit, I wasn't always a fan of his after the way he treated you, and I don't believe in marriage at all, but even I have to admit his proposal was sexy as hell. I mean Boyz II Men and all that. Props to you guys."

She lifted her drink and clinked it with Shirley's club soda.

With a worried look, Annie said from her spot next to Shirley across the booth, "Britta, maybe you should slow down. Shirley's not drinking, and I'm not planning on having much. The wedding's in two days. We need to keep level heads and get on with planning."

Britta rolled her eyes and motioned for three shots from the server, who had been on her way back to the table.

Shirley smiled indulgently and said in a sing-songy voice, "An-nie it's my bachelorette party, or shall we say my re-bachelorette-party. I don't mind if Brit-ta has a few, as long as one of us keeps an eye on her tonight."

In a lower voice, she added in a swift and abrupt manner, "And I'm certainly not having her stay with me, so you'll be sure to take her home with you and make sure she doesn't choke on her own vomit."

Annie groaned as a scowling Britta reached across the table and smacked Shirley on the shoulder.

"Hey, I can hold my liquor!"

"Sure, honey."

Britta waived a hand dismissively and awkwardly took another gulp of her drink before she said, "But back to Andre, damn Shirley, you did good."

Shirley began to preen. "Well, thank you. He's pretty good in bed these days, too. He's extra attentive."

Annie and Britta grinned at each other in a mixture of fascination and incredulity as Shirley continued to puff out her chest.

Annie accepted the round of cranberry vodka shots from the server and slid one over to Britta. She frowned at the two remaining, looking up at Shirley for a moment with a silent question. Shirley shook her head. Annie shrugged and placed the third glass next to her own.

Britta clinked her shot glass with Annie's and then Shirley's water glass and gulped back her shot, smiling in satisfaction. "Well, I'm glad to hear it. God, after what you said about the two bland orgasms, I was worried. You don't deserve that. I'm glad he's stepped up his game. Maybe all that time with the strip…" she was cut off as Annie jabbed her foot onto hers.

"What?"

Shirley took a few deep breaths and muttered something to herself.

Annie shoved a glass of water toward Britta and said quickly, "That is really great that he's taking things more seriously these days, Shirley. I'm so happy you two are getting remarried."

With a sigh of relief, Shirley said to Annie, "Thank you. It just feels right, you know?"

Annie nodded, her expression soft and understanding.

Snapping her head up from her examination of her water glass, Britta blurted, "But you know you don't have to remarry him, right? You guys seem to be getting along fine. Why make it messier?"

"Brit-ta, I want to remarry him."

With a look of genuine confusion on her face, Britta shrugged.

Annie took a deep breath and then tossed back Shirley's shot. She steadied herself for a moment before she addressed Britta.

"Just because you don't believe in marriage, doesn't mean Shirley can't."

Turning her attentions back to Shirley, she chirped, "I think it's just so great! To know you both are on the same page, and you're together with your kids, and he's made that commitment to be with all of you again, and he wants to declare it publically, that he is there for you and the kids, why it's a-ma-zing!" She did a little bounce in her seat and clapped her hands together, grinning with excitement.

Britta snorted and exchanged a bemused look with Shirley. "Wow, you seem to be really into this marriage thing. So have you hinted enough to Jeff, or do you want me to yell at him for you? Cause I won't, even though I love you, because I don't think you guys should get married. Not because I don't love you, but because I do…"

Smacking her hand over her mouth and her eyes going wide, she sputtered, "Oh god, did I just say I do? That's what my mom said, and her mother…girls, you may not know this but I come from a long line of married women and mothers."

Annie patted Britta on the shoulder as she sipped her earlier unfinished drink. Her words falling more freely, she said, "It's okay, Britta. You don't have to be a married woman or mother."

"An-nie, honey, Brit-ta brings up a good point. Have you and Jeffrey been making any plans?"

Annie removed her hand from Britta's shoulder and clutched her appletini. Staring at it and keeping her head slightly bowed, she mumbled, "Maybe."

"Whoa."

Annie sighed as she looked up from her drink. Feeling the warmth of her combined drinks flowing through her, she said, "We've bandied the idea around, but not really seriously. It's more in the future at some point when it makes sense. I've told him I don't need it, he keeps giving me mixed messages as to if he wants to do it, but I don't know if any of it matters. We're on the same page as far as staying together goes, which is good enough for me."

Shirley shook her head. "Lord."

Annie scowled at her and then continued, "He agreed to move with me for my graduate school, he talks about finding a place in a good school district for Sophie," she lowered her voice and muttered the rest, " and we've kinda talked about maybe giving her a sibling."

Shirley snapped to attention and shared a gasp with Britta.

"An-nie!"

"What the hell? You guys did talk about it? Cause he was being a goober. Even I picked up on that."

Shirley cast Britta a quizzical look.

Britta nodded with smug satisfaction. Slamming her fist down on the table, she said, "But you know why, right? Cause Ian and I have been discussing it, see his take on it is that…"

- "Will you be bringing him as a date to my wedding? You know he's welcome."

Britta looked at her with annoyance and shook her head. "God Shirley, I don't take dates to weddings." Turning back to Annie, she continued, "Jeff's massively insecure. He thinks if he has a biological child with you, that you and him will be good. He hates that douchebag ex of yours, not that I blame him at all cause that guy creeps me out, but he knows he's technically Sophie's father, and he can never have that you know, genetic connection to her. So part of him thinks he's disposable. A baby would fix it."

Annie's eyes grew with sadness as she took in Britta's words.

Britta droned on, "But see, Ian and I know it won't. Plus biology? Pfffffft….that's crap. I'm not biologically related to my cats, and I would do anything for them. They're my babies. That's why I don't need, you know, actual babies. And thank god no one's pressuring me for that. So I hope Jeff doesn't press it too much, cause you know you'll have to hold firm and talk him out of it."

Annie stared at Britta for several moments of awkwardness, as Shirley did her best to say a silent prayer.

Annie took a few deep breaths as she pressed the space between her eyes. Looking back up, she said, "Britta, I never said I was going to have another baby right now. I meant we've talked about it a little. We might get around to it sometime when I'm done with school, but we haven't made any definite plans."

Shirley reached across the table and grabbed Britta's hand, giving it a warning squeeze as she gave the most menacing of Shirley stares. She then turned to Annie and said in a careful tone, "That's reassuring, An-nie. And goodness knows you and Jeffrey would make some fine looking babies, for white people that is. But I'd hate to see a baby born out of wedlock."

Annie bristled. "Do we have to hash this out again, Shirley?"

Shirley continued to squeeze Britta's hand and, ignoring her gasps, replied, "No, of course not. I know now the situation with Sophie was different. And I'm sorry I was so judgmental about it before I really understood."

"Thanks."

"But you and Jeffrey love each other. Any damn fool could see he's completely smitten with you, and you with him. I guess I just don't see a reason why you two wouldn't make it official."

Annie let out a long sigh. "It's kind of silly to think about getting married. I'm only twenty-one."

Shirley gave a nod and smiled softly. "And you're already a family."

Annie stared off toward the bar area, appearing lost in thought. After a few moments she said in a low voice, "I know. Like I said, we might. But the last time we really discussed it, we were pretty drunk at my birthday party."

Britta moved her finger toward her open mouth. "You mean the make out party? Puke. Which I did, but not until later. Don't tell Chang. I told him he's the one who ruined Ian's loafers. Oh, and don't tell Ian, cause I told him it was Chang."

Annie exchanged looks with Shirley, and then they both burst out laughing. Britta's mouth fell open in indignation and perhaps more than a bit of confusion.

Shirley scooted over to Annie and placed her arm around her shoulders. "Well, I hope you and Jeffrey will do whatever you think is best. But think about what I said."

Annie smiled and leaned her head against Shirley. "I will."

"And I don't agree with Bri-ta on the child subject. I think you and Jeffrey having a child would be a wonderful thing."

"Awww….thank you, Shirley."

"You're welcome."

Annie sighed as she sat back up. "Like I said, we won't be making a baby anytime soon." A blush coming over her cheeks, she added with a sly grin, "We're just really enjoying practicing."

She then hiccupped before she took a giant swig of her drink.

Britta and Shirley's eyes went wide. As Britta slid back in the booth in disgust, Shirley leaned in even closer.

"Okay, you didn't want to tell me everything when you first got together, but spill it. What's Jeffrey like in the sack? I want details this time. Details."

As Annie and Shirley erupted into giggles, Britta rolled her eyes and stumbled to her feet. She grabbed a white satin sash embroidered with the word, "Bride" and tossed it at Shirley's head. She then walked over to the bar and shouted over her shoulder, "I'm going to get us some more waters. We need to sober up."

Shirley listed to Annie whisper something in her ear. A giddiness overcoming her, she barely registered the fabric covering her face and said, "Damn, Lacey's not here yet. She'd love this!"

Britta called out, "I don't need to hear this. La la la la la. Blah blah blah blah blah."

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Jeff tapped the bar to get the bartender's attention. He pushed over the now empty pitcher and made a motion for a refill. As he turned outward, Andre sidled up to him with a lazy smile.

"This has been a pretty great bachelor party, Jeff. You really know your stuff."

Jeff scoffed. "Well, of course. This is the classiest unclassy place I could pick. Cause see, you don't want to have it too formal. You need to be laid back, relaxed. At the same time, it's a special occasion."

"So that's why we have fancy beer and non-fancy beer?'

"Precisely."

Troy stumbled over to Jeff's other side, reached around him, and grabbed the now fill pitcher. Jeff smirked at him and turned back to Andre. As he was about to add a comment, Troy said, "And fancy nachos. Those were pretty good. Abed says we should get more."

Andre laughed. "Oh, yeah, we definitely should." He turned to Jeff and said, "Seriously, man, I want to thank you for doing this for me. I know you haven't always been a fan of mine."

Jeff shrugged and leaned backward, placing his hands on the bar. "I don't know what you mean."

Andre steeled his gaze and said, "Come on. Let's not bullshit this. You think I'm not good enough for Shirley."

Jeff feigned nonchalance and began scanning the room as he spoke. "She seems to love you for some reason. And Annie's always telling me I need to give people a chance. So yes, I'm giving you a chance. But notice I didn't take us to a strip club."

Andre winced.

Jeff caught his expression and with a smirk of satisfaction added, "So if you can promise you will treat Shirley with the respect she deserves and be there for your kids, then yes, I will become a big fan of yours. But you have to earn it. And you have to earn Shirley every day you two are alive."

"That's actually kind of romantic."

Jeff opened his mouth to speak when Troy interjected, his face gazing wistfully across the room, "I don't get romance sometimes. Like how do you let someone you love know you maybe made a mistake? That you thought something would be nice, that you were tempted by it, but in the end you realize that what you have is what you want. That it's what you need. You don't want to go anywhere else. You love their big brown soulful eyes and it's tearing you up that they might have misunderstood or think you won't be there for them?"

Jeff raised his eyebrows and was again about to impart his wisdom when a clueless Andre slapped Troy on the shoulder. "Don't I know it! But please don't you get on my case too! I love Shirley's big brown soulful eyes and I'm making things up to her every day. I'm no longer looking for something flashy or seemingly easy somewhere else, okay?"

Troy looked up at him with a frown. "Huh?"

Jeff stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. Leaning down to Troy's ear, he said in a low voice, "Go tell Abed I'm ordering more nachos."

Troy broke out in a grin, gave a nod, and then ambled off with the pitcher toward Abed, who was in the middle of playing darts by himself across the room. Jeff watched him go, a mixture of pride and bemusement on his face.

Pierce took that moment to waltz over to Andre, extending his hand. At Andre's quizzical look, he explained, "To make peace. And congratulate you and Shirley."

Andre immediately scowled. "Oh hell no. You're taking up too much of her time. I don't need to share her with you."

Jeff tensed and motioned off a scoffing Pierce toward the dartboard. He then rejoined Andre at the bar and said with all seriousness, "See this is where I have a problem with you. Clearly Shirley's business is important to her. She has a dream. A dream to make something of herself, to provide for her kids, since you abandoned her. Now that you're back, you can't just expect that dream to die. See, although you're getting married in two days, she knows, deep down, she cannot count on you. She needs a backup plan."

Andre squinted at him and crossed his arms over his chest. "Whoa, that's rude. She doesn't need a backup plan, which is why she doesn't need to get involved with that jerk in some crazy business scheme."

Jeff pursed his lips and inched a little closer. "I'll agree with you that Pierce is full of crap, but the business scheme isn't crazy. Because, see, it's Shirley's business scheme. And if there's one thing I know about Shirley, it's that she's a seriously kick-ass businesswoman. I suspect you feel threatened by that. If she has her own business and can provide for herself and the kids, why would she need you? But see, that's the wrong way to look at it. Even if you and Shirley do work out, don't you want her to be with you because she wants to rather than she has to? So if she has her business and stays with you, won't that make you the luckiest guy in the world?"

Andre nodded for several moments, apparently deep in thought. Finally, he said, "You're absolutely right."

"I always am."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Shirley and Andre had a fairly uneventful rehearsal the night before the ceremony. Even with Shirley's lateness, Andre was understanding and took it all in stride. The next day, they were successfully re-married. Jeff even let Shirley strong-arm him into giving the toast. After sharing some slightly sarcastic words laced with a heck of a lot of sweetness, Jeff ended with,

"To Shirley and Andre. Shirley, you are one of the strongest women I know. Half the time I don't agree with you on things, but I admire your singular focus and your commitment. So if this guy is the one you want, then I trust you. Because, see, you always come out on top in the end. Because you're a winner, Shirley. And Andre, I don't know you nearly as well as I know Shirley, but I know during this round, you've stood by her, even with all the Greendale weirdness. You were there for Elijah and Jordan, and you were there this past year for Ben. And you swore you'd be there for Ben no matter what, and I always respected you for that. So, you two wanted to get re-married. And you did. You two are proof that sometimes I'm wrong about things. Don't spread that around. Congratulations."

"Oh, that's nice!"

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Annie grinned at Jeff as he settled back in next to her at their table. She leaned over and whispered, "That was a very Winger wedding speech."

He shrugged and suppressed a smile. "It's the only kind of speech I know how to give."

She took his hand underneath the table as the rest of the study group talked amongst themselves around the table. She added in a low voice, "It's almost as if you were okay with weddings."

He frowned as he looked down at their hands. "I went to Nancy's wedding with you, remember? I was fine with that."

Annie sighed. "I made you go to that with me."

"Well, yeah, because she's your friend. Of course I'd go to your friend's wedding with you. And well, she's nice. It wasn't that big of a deal."

Annie looked up at him, noticing he was regarding her with a confused expression.

"Really?"

He glanced around, seeing the others were all getting up to take the party to the dance floor.

He leaned down and whispered, "Of course. Look, haven't we been over this? I thought we were on the same page. One day, you and I will be up there" he gestured with this head toward the Britta-decorated floral arbor in the front of the room, "or we can elope. I don't really care. But we'll do it. But I'm not getting you a diamond. That flashy thing Shirley is wearing is blinding me."

Annie let out a squeak.

His eyes widening, he added, "What is it? Did I misunderstand? Crap, I thought…"

Shaking her head, she reached up to place one finger over his mouth, which instantly stopped him.

She whispered, "No, you didn't. I just wasn't sure if you remembered. Or if that's what you really wanted."

He carefully removed her finger from his mouth, interlaced his fingers with hers, and while looking directly in her eyes said in a low voice, "It's definitely what I want. I just want to make sure I don't panic-propose to you again. It's not a very attractive quality of mine. And you know I like to be stunningly attractive."

She continued to smile at him, a blush forming over her cheeks. "Well, there is no rush."

"That's right."

She lifted herself up slightly so that she could give him a well-deserved kiss.

"Yay! Kissy! Mama, Fee wan dance. Peas Mama? Und kiss Fee."

Jeff smirked against Annie's lips and mumbled, "She's still a cockblocker."

"Jeff."

He turned and leaned over so that Sophie could see him. He waved at her and she began to bob her head in delight.

"Daddy! Daddy dance! Daddy kiss Fee."

As Annie laughed, Jeff motioned over to Sophie and then pulled her up on his lap. He made sure to squeeze her not uncomfortably tight, but with a loving firmness. He gave a show of various smacking kisses on her forehead.

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Troy eyed the array of non-no-no punch on the side table with a scowl before he turned his attentions to the wedding cake. As he reached for it, Britta smacked his hand.

"You can't have that right now!' She hissed as she adjusted the strap of her tight light pink dress and scrunched up her face in disgust.

He couldn't help but take what he thought was a surreptitious look at the way the fabric clung to her shape.

"Where's Professor Duncan?" He attempted to ask the question with a breeziness.

Yes, definitely breezy. Nonchalant even.

She squinted at him in confusion. "Why would he be here?"

"Cause you two, aren't dating?" Troy popped up his eyebrows in an effort at sarcasm, but his mouth remained level.

She let out a long sigh and then began fidgeting with a floral arrangement on the side table, adding sprigs of thyme she happened to have in a hidden pocket in her dress.

"Fine. So we're dating. But that doesn't mean he's like my date now for these things. I've clarified we're not exclusive."

Troy nodded as slowly and seriously as he possibly could, pushing down a mixture of hopefulness and angst as he thought about Abed. He wondered why things had to be this complicated.

Clearing his throat, he said, "That smells nice."

Smiling with pinkness in her cheeks, she studied the flowers and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Thanks."

"So…."

She looked up from her meticulous arrangement, her eyes open and questioning…

Her eyes went wide as she looked over his shoulder. He turned and was faced with the reality of Professor Duncan in a very professory-vest with his professory glasses chasing a giddy (Kevin?) Chang into the room.

"Britta, save me!" Kevin whined as she ran and hid behind her, cowering down with this hands over his head.

Professor Duncan approached, and taking a moment to adjust his professory-glasses, said, "Now, Kevin, you come with me this instant! You know we weren't invited to this wedding."

"But I just want a piece of cake." He peaked out from behind Britta and looked at Troy. "You know what I'm talking about, right man?"

Troy shrugged but then quickly fixed his best glare over at the professor.

Britta smiled a little too brightly and said, her blush deepening and with an even more sexy push of her hair behind her ear, said, "I thought you guys were in a poker game?"

Professor Duncan let out a low whistle, his hands on his hips. He let his annoying and probably beady eyes skim down Britta's dress, but then he quickly re-met her gaze. "We were. And he's been doing so well in behaving. Buzz and I taught him the basics. But then he took off down the hall. I'm really very sorry. I know how much effort you've put into this wedding reception."

Britta continued to smile. "Oh, yeah, I um, know. It's um, fine. Ummm…"

-"Can I have cake now? Please, Britta?"

She rolled her eyes. "No. Shirley and Andre haven't even cut the cake, and I don't think either one of them wants you here after everything."

"After what?"

"God, I keep forgetting you have amnesia."

"Changnesia." After a slight pause he asked, "So cake?"

"No."

Duncan let out an exasperated sigh. "And he's been doing so well." Turning his attention to a surprised Troy he added, "Did you know with his memory wiped, he's shown a proclivity for Spanish? Not fake Spanish, but actual Spanish. It's the most interesting case of my career."

"¿Por qué me gusta esto?"

Duncan snapped his attention back to Chang. "We are leaving. Right now. Come on." He stepped over toward Britta, and gingerly placing his hand on her hip, reached around her to grab Chang by his collar.

It did not escape Troy's notice when Britta and Duncan lingered for a moment, a quick kiss placed on Britta's cheek.

And then with a wiggle of the eyebrows, Duncan and Chang were gone. Troy looked at Britta, who was staring off after them while biting her lip.

He then felt eyes on him and turned to see Abed watching him curiously from next to the punchbowl.

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Jeff sat at the now emptied table, his eyes lighting up as Annie returned from the dance floor. As she attempted to retake her seat, he pulled her onto his lap.

With a swat, she laughed and said, "You can't just pull me onto your lap now! What will people think?"

He murmured into her neck, "I don't think anyone notices. They're all dancing." He lifted his head up and cast a look back at the dance floor, eyeing Sophie who was attempting to do some sideways steps in between Jordan and Elijah. The boys were coaxing her to the left and then to the right, laughing as she somewhat clumsily copied their movements.

Annie smiled. "She's having a lot of fun."

Jeff nodded.

Annie turned to look at him and said with an impish stare, "Come on, let's dance!"

Listening to the change in music, he let out a groan. "They're going to start doing the electric slide. I don't do the electric slide, Annie."

Giving her best Disney eyes, she said, "We have to practice for our one-day wedding, Jeff. You don't want to look foolish at our own wedding, do you?"

He suppressed a smile. "Hm, so elopement's off the table then?"

"Yes, Jeff. We're not eloping."

With an exaggerated eye roll, he motioned her off his lap and stood. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

Turns out Jeff was pretty good at the electric slide. Annie almost thought he was actually having fun.

At their side, a deliriously happy Sophie continued to dance her heart out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Abed turned away from the joyous crowd, attempting to catch sight of the dark figure that he could have sworn had scurried past the study room. He let go of Troy's hand and mumbling something about needing to get some air, wandered off down the hall. Feeling the hair stand up on the back of his neck, he only made it halfway before he felt the urge to go back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Darkest Timeline

Spring, 2012

Annie looked up at Jeff, her arms wrapped around his shoulders and his left arm gripping the side of her now-rounded waist. She smiled and said, "I can't believe we actually got married."

As they continued to dance, she held out her left hand and took a moment to admire her shiny diamond ring.

Letting out a chuckle, he said, "Hey, Jeff Winger delivers. Plus we couldn't let this, " he indicated with a tilt of his head at her belly, "as Shirley would say, be born out of wedlock. It wouldn't be proper, Annie."

She rolled her eyes.

With a smirk, he added, "Plus I may have wanted to marry you. Maybe just a little bit."

"I kind of figured. Ditto."

He leaned down and she inched up so that they could share a smooch.

"Daddy, Mama, no kiss! Fee wan!"

They paused in their kissing and stared down at Sophie who had wandered over to them. She was still wearing her pink lace flower girl dress and looked up at them with pleading eyes while clutching her bear.

Jeff squinted at her. "Hey munchkin, you're going to have to get used to sharing. Starting this summer you won't be the baby anymore. "

Sophie pouted as she tightened her grip on the bear. "Fee not baby?"

Jeff laughed and shook his head. "Not anymore. We told you, remember? There will be a new baby. And you'll have to look out for the baby. It'll be fun."

Annie swatted Jeff's lone arm. "Stop it. She doesn't understand."

Sophie looked up at them with sad eyes. "Fee not baby. Baby in Mama tummy." She gestured upward.

Oblivious to Sophie's feelings, Jeff replied, "That's right, munchkin." He turned back to Annie. "See, she understands. Now let's keep our first dance going, Mrs. Winger."

Annie took a moment to regard Sophie with a frown. Lifting her hand to her mouth, she said, "We should let her dance with us."

"We've cheated death, Annie. We earned this. We can dance with her later."

With that, he reached down to pat Sophie lightly and condescendingly on the head before sashaying Annie away. Annie laughed uproariously at his confidence.

Abed watched from across the room as Sophie stood with her shoulders slouched forward, her lips beginning to quiver.

He stroked his mustache and waltzed over to her, bending down and tenderly picking her up. He fished a small piece of black felt from his pocket and handed it to her.

"Wad dat?"

"It's your evil mustache. Keep it in your pocket, kid. I have a feeing you're going to need it."