To the reviews that tell me when I spell things wrong, Thank You. I have a bad habit of lazy, so I tend not to look up how to spell stuff. Word doesn't help either. So I will make an effort to spell Kakuzu as Kakuzu not Kakuza. If anyone else noticed recurring things like this inform me so I can stop being stupid, and probably pissing someone off, and start being smarter.

This chapter brought to you by: 90 reviews, 10 away from a 100...I am so impressed.


The Games

Later that day, after I set up all the game stuff…okay I moved the couch into the large empty room…okay fine Kisame moved the couch, I told him where to put it. Actually I told him to put it somewhere then Itachi said to move it over so really Itachi set up the room. He said something about if he was dragged into this he should get a say in where the couch is.

So Itachi, Kakuzu, and I were sitting on the couch—me in the middle of course—as we waited for the others to come for the games.

"Did we ever tell anyone when the games were?" I asked not remembering doing that and realizing we might be waiting here for a while.

"I told Kisame to get everyone after he moved the couch." Itachi informed me.

"I knew having you as judge was a good idea. Kakuzu why are you here?"

"I am here to make sure there is no cash prize." He informed me.

"If there is?" I asked curiously.

"I will take it from whoever wins as muffin tax." Kakuzu answered.

"Do you think that will work?" I asked trying to picture them giving up the money to Kakuzu for muffin tax.

"Worth a try."

"Too bad we won't get to see it since there is no cash prize." Itachi stated reminding me of the fact since I was still imagining them getting suckered out of their money and giggling to myself.

"Oh yeah that." I said as the rest of the Akatsuki started to enter the room.

"Do you mind if I watch?" Konan asked politely. I like her she's nice.

"Nope, but there is no room on the couch." I informed her trying to think of a solution.

"We could have Kisame bring in a chair." Konan suggested.

"Dang it." I heard Kisame mutter.

"No need." Itachi said sliding me onto his lap. "You may sit there."

"You just going to let him do that?" Hidan asked since I just accepted it.

"And I was supposed to stop him how? Plus I will get my revenge." I said not paying attention to the fact that Itachi's arms stayed around my waist and that he pulled me closer to him when I said that.

"How so?" Sasori asked taking a seat on the floor in front of Itachi and me.

"Eventually his legs will fall asleep from my weight being on them." I stated grinning evilly as if I had the most brilliant evil plan ever.

"Akira, you are definitely an interesting person." Kisame said between laughs finding amusement in my evilness.

"Pein, why are you here?" I asked when he showed up in the room where we were having the games.

"I want a muffin." He answered simply.

"Okay, good luck then." I said snickering since I knew that Pein would probably not do well at the games since they all require me to be amused in some way. Since we all know I hate him therefore he will have the disadvantage of me hating him. Who said the muffin games were fair?

"What are the games?" Hidan asked impatiently.

"Well there will be three games, each game will have a winner and the person who wins the most wins."

"So basically whoever gets two out of three wins, wins the games." Sasori stated for some reason.

"Yes but my way sounds more fun."

"What are the games?" Kisame asked knowing that if they didn't get me to focus they could be standing there all day.

"I will introduce the games one at a time." I stated in my announcer/game show host voice.

"You are making them up as we go aren't you?" Itachi asked talking in my ear.

"Hush up you. So for the first game you will have fifty dollars—

"I knew there was money." Kakuzu interrupted.

"They don't get to keep it." I countered.

"Oh, well then continue."

"Thank you. So you will get fifty dollars of Itachi's money and—

"I am not even going to ask how you got the money from my wallet since I now have to keep my money in my pocket to keep it safe." Itachi informed me taking one arm off me to check his pocket of the wallet quickly, to make sure it was still there.

"Are you sure you don't want to know?" I questioned thinking that if I was him I would really want to know.

"I want to know." Kakuzu stated really sounding like he wanted to know.

"It's simple, I knew that after the last time I stole it he would keep a better eye on it so I stole the money then. I just didn't know what I was going to use it for then." I told them causing Kakuzu stare at me.

"I didn't even see her do it." Sasori muttered to himself but I heard him and smiled.

"So back to the muffin games." Pein said annoyed that we were wasting his time. Um does he realize he's wasting his own time, just for a muffin?

"So as I was saying, you will each get fifty dollars of Itachi money to buy me a present. You can use all the money and get me something good, which since me liking the present determines who wins is in your best interest, or you can buy something cheap, loose, and keep the extra."

"I will know how much each of you spend and any extra will be returned to me." Itachi growled probably with the Sharingan out.

"So I'm allowed to use your money but they aren't?" I questioned confused by his logic since, obviously, I probably use more than they would.

"There's a big difference between you and them, I care about your happiness and I could care less if they die." Itachi informed me.

"That's mean." I scolded.

"It's okay, Akira, we feel the same way about him." Hidan told me.

"Actually now that you mention it I would be effected by one of their deaths." Itachi stated looking contemplative, well he looked emotionless like usual but in my world he looked contemplative.

"Really?" Kisame questioned wondering if perhaps the Uchiha decided to start caring about his well being.

"Yes, I would be ecstatic if Hidan died." Itachi informed me glaring at Hidan and showing off the fact that he was holding me be moving one of his arms to lay in front of my shoulders.

"That's evil." I stated knowing that Itachi was serious.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Why are you all still here? Did I mention you only have one hour to shop and it started about five minutes ago?" I questioned causing those participating to quickly disappear.

"Why are we in this large room if you were just going to send them out?" Konan asked looking around the room.

"We wouldn't have had to make Kisame bring in the couch then." Itachi mused.

"Dramatic effect." I stated with a completely serious face, causing Konan to raise her eyebrow and Itachi to sigh. "Well we might use it for the other two games."

"You really are making this up as you go along." Itachi sighed.

"Of course, like I would plan for this. I am only doing it for my own amusement, you should know that." I stated shifting to get more comfortable.

"I'm going to get a chair." Konan stated deciding that she wanted a chair, obviously.

"Me too." Sasori stated getting up also.

"Might as well get comfortable myself." Kakuzu stated getting up to get his own chair.

"Did they just leave us alone in a room? On a couch?" I asked Itachi, I even tried to look at him but failed miserably since my head doesn't spin that far.

"Yes they did." Itachi purred. Well not really but he said it really low and seductively, although if he can growl he can probably purr.

"Hey if they all get their own chairs won't we have the entire couch?" I asked him contemplating something.

"I suppose so, why?" Itachi asked intrigued.

"I'm thinking about taking a nap until they get back." I answered him back.

"You only sent them out for an hour." Itachi reminded me.

"Oh yeah, that would be a crappy nap. What am I going to do now? I will be bored." I whined.

"I can think of something we can do." Itachi said suddenly flipping us over with his cool ninja skills so that I was now laying on the couch as he hovered over me.

"Are your legs at least numb?" I questioned him causing him to smirk down at me, I'm in trouble.

"Not one bit." Itachi said moving his face closer to mine until he was kissing me. As usual I was shocked, okay I wasn't really shocked but that's my excuse for not fighting. His hand was just about to go somewhere it shouldn't be aka my shirt (especially if they are cold) when Kakuzu came into the room. Apparently whatever memo Itachi sent out telling everyone to leave the room and not come back was not sent to Kakuzu, or he ignored it, either way Kakuzu interrupted Itachi.

"Don't let me stop you." Kakuzu stated putting down his bean bag chair on the floor.

"Why do you have a bean bag chair?" I asked completely not acknowledging the fact that Itachi was still hovering over me.

"It was cheaper for me to make then a regular chair. I only had to buy fabric and the beans, then make it." Kakuzu explained as he sat down, sinking into the chair slightly. Then, as if Kakuzu entering the room was a sign that it was okay to enter, Sasori and Konan came back.

"There goes my plan of amusement." Itachi mumbled unhappily.

"Anyways, I guess we just have to wait for them to come back." I stated right as Pein walked in. "That was quick."

"I left extra ingredients to bake muffins in the pantry and the fridge and I bought these muffins. Konan come, we will enjoy them in the office." Pein stated when he came in the room carrying a box of fresh muffins. He was about to leave but I guess he felt Itachi glare at him.

"My change?" Itachi asked still glaring and still hovering. Pein seemed to have just noticed the state that we were in because his eyebrow rose when he looked at us. I swear ninja sometimes are just way too oblivious.

"Here's the change." Pein stated handing it to Itachi who then flipped us once more so that I was lying on him, that means I get the money sweet. It was probably so that Itachi wouldn't crush me but shhh I took the money anyway. When I took it Itachi sighed and Kakuzu stared at the money.

"Did you want this back?" I questioned making myself comfortable laying on my Itachi pillow.

"I would." He admitted much to Kakuzu's disappointment. I suddenly got a very evil, extremely stupid, idea. I decided I would give him back the money right then. I put the money into my left hand, since that was the one facing the front of the couch and then scooted my body over until I could see his pocket and I slipped the money in there. I then nonchalantly moved myself back and got comfortable again. As if I had done nothing.

"Well that was amusing." Sasori stated to remind us that he was still there.

"He wanted his money back." I said as if that explains my behavior but I couldn't keep the smirk off my face. Apparently smirks and evilness is contagious.

"You definitely wouldn't have been able to get into that pocket without me noticing." Itachi stated before snatching the hand that had entered his pocket with his hand. I guess to keep it from being bad?

"We're back!" Kisame announced as the three who wanted a muffin entered the room.

"You look comfortable." Hidan growled out at Itachi and me. I noticed that Hidan was carrying an oddly large sack that he set on the floor in the corner.

"I am." Itachi stated smirking and making a show of sniffing my hair. Okay sniffing my hair is creepy.

"I'm back, un!" Deidara announced happily. Apparently all the evil criminals had fun shopping for me, odd.

"So what did you get me?" I asked excitedly attempting to sit up but failing due to Itachi.

"Change first." Itachi ordered.

"How're you gonna get it?" Hidan asked mockingly.

"Give it to Akira." Itachi answered.

"You could give it to me instead." Kakuzu answered hopefully. Unfortunately for him they listened to Itachi and gave me the money.

"Akira can I have the change?" Itachi asked with a smirk, oh great I gave him ideas.

"Can I have my hand back? Also I'd like to be able to sit up." I informed him.

"Fine, but you have to give it back like you did Pein's money." Itachi stated.

"What did Pein get you?" Kisame asked.

"Nothing," I stated as Itachi let me sit up on the couch but he kept one arm around my shoulders, "He got himself some muffins from the town. Since for fifty dollars you could buy a lot of muffins."

"I feel really stupid right now." all three of them muttered in unison. Well they said other things but the idea was basically the same.

"My change?" Itachi reminded me causing me to roll my eyes.

"Jeesh Itachi I never knew you were such a stickler with your money." Hidan pointed out. I ignored Hidan and Itachi's smirk and I took the money and slipped it into Itachi's pocket. Hidan then freaked out and stared wide eyed at Itachi. "What was that?"

"She was returning the money." Itachi stated calmly, like usual.

"I should have never done it." I sighed to myself then remembered I had presents. "What'd you guys get me?"

"I got you a pretty necklace, un!" Deidara said showing off his looks-oddly-like-a-girl shopping powers.

"I got you this kid." Hidan said showing me some poor starving looking kid that was shaking in fear. How no one noticed the kid before was beyond me, maybe he was in that sack. Poor kid. The kid then took this as an invitation to run over to me and hug my legs for dear life since I looked least threatening of them all.

"I got you a book." Kisame stated showing me the book.

"Okay I held off my comments until you all were done," I stated allowing the poor starving kid to continue to clutch my legs, "But I have to ask, why a kid?"

"You can do lots of things with young kids, you can sacrifice them." Hidan stated excitedly, as if he had done it many times which he probably has.

"What am I supposed to do with him?" I asked more specifically.

"Anything that you want." Hidan answered, "I bought him from the orphanage so there will be no one looking for him don't worry."

"Okay. Deidara, why did you get me a necklace with a carved wooden sandal on it?"

"I thought it was pretty, un!" he answered.

"You have no idea of what true art is." Sasori mocked.

"Art is a bang!" Deidara countered.

"Whatever. Kisame you got me a book that is just a bunch of fairytale stories. It is clear who the winner is." I said causing all three of them to smile stupidly. "Kisame."

"What, but I got you a kid."

"Who I have no clue what to do with." I answered causing the kid to whimper and try to clutch harder to my poor pants. Poor little kid.

"I vote we give him back." Itachi stated not liking the kid at all.

"I vote we sell him to slave traders." Kakuzu stated measuring the kid with his eyes to see how much money he could get.

"I could eat him for you." Zetsu stated appearing out of the floor scaring the kid so bad that he, I had determined the kid was a him after looking for a bit, ended up in my lap clutching my shirt now.

"He would be easier to keep if he was a puppet." Sasori stated in his usual emotionless way.

"Okay guys leave the poor kid alone; he's mine so I will decide what to do with him." I countered hugging the kid hoping to make him feel better.

"Wait till the leader hears about this." Kisame muttered.

"So what's the next game?" Hidan asked, completely ignoring the problem he caused by giving me some kid. Oh crap that means not only do I have to decide what to do with this kid but also what to do for the next game.


I have no idea why I wrote that Hidan gave her a kid other than I could see him doing that. It might be like the fillers in the anime where all new characters introduced in them suddenly never appear again, or I might actually do something with the kid. I don't know yet. I also did not mean for the muffin games to be this long but I got into it so they became this way. One more game chapter and then back to the storyline, hopefully. Beware the Tangents of Doom! On the bright side since I got into it the chapter is actually longer than usual.


Preview from next chapter: the muffin games part 2

"What's your name?" Itachi growled out at the kid.

"Yeah, that's going to make him answer, growling at the poor thing." I said sarcastically allowing the kid to continue to hide his face in my shirt, not that I could really pry him off.

"I don't want to know his name." Kakuzu stated exiting the room leaving: Itachi, the kid, and me, alone. The kid took this opportunity to sneak a peek at the room.

"What's your name?" Itachi repeated, actually not growling this time. The kid's response was to bury his head in my shirt once more.

"He don't like you." I pointed out laughing.