Okay, so this kinda hurt to write… Sorry but I'm just getting started with Varian's deepest angst !

You are still here ? Enjoy your reading then !

Chapter 29

There was only so much Remyus could do to prevent Varian from going to sleep at that point. Drained by the effects of the poison, the boy finally relaxed and welcomed the quiet realm of nothingness washing over him. He was sound asleep when the King and the Queen came back to his room. Every now and then, he would cringe in his sleep because of still very frequent and intense stomach pains.

Arianna's eyes were circled in red, exhaustion clear on her face. It seemed that she could barely walk and that Fredric's large frame supporting her was the only reason why she was still standing.

With a sigh, Remyus declared :

"Let's keep a constant check of his pulse and proceed with regular frictions, even if he's asleep. He's been fighting the poison for a good while now, let's hope that will be enough for him to recover. He needs his rest now."

Arianna looked down at the teen, the raccoon mimicking her from his sitting position on Varian's large pillow. She was still anxious that he would not wake up, even if Remyus seemed a little more optimistic now. Said physician picked up on her worried and tired gaze and purposely added :

"He's going to be out for a good while. I'll watch over him, Your Majesties, and Ethel will help me."

"Thank you, Remyus. And thank you Ethel. For everything", the King replied before his wife could express a protest of any sort. "We will go and get some rest."

Reluctantly, Arianna let Fredric lead her back to their apartments. She knew that her husband spoke wisely, and that she would need all her strength for what was to come.

Because right after they stopped Nigel red-handed, Varian made it clear with sharp words and flashing anger in his eyes that his memories were back.

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After that, Varian slept for 18 hours straight. Dawn was about to break when Remyus finally dozed off on a chair next to the boy's bed, after watching after him all night. It was more and more likely that the kid was out of danger, and the old man could definitely use some sleep. And Ethel was scheduled to come back after sunrise to take over.

Light was starting to swell slowly in the small room where Varian laid. As if on cue, the long, restful sleep came to an end. The boy's head shifted from side to side, a clear indication that he was on the verge of waking up even before his eyelids cracked open.

Ruddiger was the first one to greet his friend with excited chittering and furry head giving his human's cheek energetic rubs. Varian gave a weak smile and returned the pats.

"Hey Ruddiger ! How are you, old boy ?" he said in a very low voice, his eyes full of fondness for his ever-faithful friend.

If Ruddiger could talk, he would probably have asked the same question. At last, Varian was feeling much better, the nausea was almost gone and his hands and feet weren't so cold anymore.

Then his eyes landed on the crouched frame of Remyus, asleep on the chair. Varian chuckled at the peculiar sight and looked around. The light was dim, but he could see that no one else was around.

His stomach was actually begging for food now, but he didn't register it. Overwhelmed and confused, the teen's mind took the lead with no specific thinking or planning – and like one of his automatons, which require somebody else's will to move, Varian slowly got up. He didn't know where he wanted to go, or what he was going to do, he just had to get out. Out and away. He didn't care that he was wearing a long night shirt. As silently as he could so as not to wake up the old physician, he took wobbly steps towards the door. His legs felt so weak, all his muscles possibly gone – actually, they were, after such a long time on bed. Remyus kept snoring softly as the kid passed by him. Puzzled, Ruddiger followed Varian's every step.

The young alchemist didn't believe in magic and such things as miracles, but he had to admit that making it to the hallway in his condition was a little miracle in itself. Leaning against the wall for support, he dragged his feet on the castle's thick carpets.

There was not a soul there. Most guards were only about to take their duty shift after the night, so no one was standing in front of Remyus' doors. Maids were still busy in the kitchen lighting up the fire and preparing the breakfast.

After a few steps, Varian had to stop. He was panting like he just ran a marathon and felt dizzy.

It took him a few seconds to register that at the other end of the hallway, something was moving – and coming closer. In a daze, he watched as the little figure ran to him, calling his name.

"Varian ! Oh Varian, you're here ! You're alive !"

And before the teen could understand what was happening, he lost his balance and fell on his backside as Elora, too thrilled to think of being careful of Varian's injuries, stumbled into him, her arms thrown around his waist with the spontaneity only children are capable of.

Ruddiger was hopping around, and Elora was literally weeping with joy. Varian blinked several times, his good hand on the floor for support and finally stammered in a hoarse voice :

"E… Elora ?"

"Varian, I thought you were dead ! Mom and Grandma wouldn't let me see you, they forbade me to come here. But it's very early, so I sneaked out. I had to know. You won't tell them, will you ?"

Varian was still too stunned to make a reply. Elora, on the other hand, couldn't stop rambling.

"You know, I woke up early, so it was easy to leave unnoticed. Everybody was still asleep. It was just another nightmare, but this time I didn't scream in my sleep. You were in it, Varian, and you know, it was the monster in the fog in front of the castle again. I was scared, I was looking for my family everywhere. It was dark and I couldn't find them, and the monster found me first. Its eyes were glowing, and it opened its mouth to eat me ! And suddenly you came Varian ! You came when I thought you were gone ! You stood between me and the monster and you told him to go away ! I don't know how you did, because the monster listened to you, and it ran away. You were the only one with the power to control the monster !"

The last words were ringing in Varian's ears. "You were the only one with the power to control the monster !"

"You were the only one with the power to control the monster !"

"You were the only one with the power to control the monster !"

Varian's heart started to race. His breathing started to hitch. He found himself sweating, when it had stopped a few moments before. His eyes were wide and unfocused, his mouth gaping.

"Varian ?" ventured Elora. But he didn't respond.

Not the way she was expecting at least.

"No… no, no, no…" he repeated over and over in realization. His voice was like a breath at first, but it became louder with every word, until he was sitting there, shouting and shaking his head in dismay.

"No, no, NO !"

"Varian ?" Elora tried again, this time holding his arms with her tiny hands.

Varian's eyes wavered a little longer until they focused and came to a stop on Elora's big eyes.

He closed his gaping mouth, his lips tight and his thick eyebrows were drawn in a deep frown.

"No ! You shouldn't be here !" he spat as he pushed her away with surprising strength. "Go ! Get away from me !"

Elora was now the one to fall on her backside awkwardly, petrified at Varian's sudden outburst. She suddenly felt very cold and very scared.

"Don't you understand ? I am the one who created that monster ! I am responsible for this ! Go away ! I don't want you here ! Don't you dare come back !" he yelled in rage and desperation as he tried to stand.

"Varian…" Elora whined as she started to cry hot tears and scramble back on her hands and feet.

Seeing he had succeeded with the little girl, Varian dropped his eyes onto the raccoon.

"AND YOU!" he lashed out even louder. "Why are you still here ? After what I've done to you ? Stupid raccoon ! Go away ! Both of you ! Go and leave me ! Leave me alone ! Forever…"

His angry voice trailed off, as he needed to focus more on the support the wall could provide, but it was too late. His eyes rolled at the back of his head, and he collapsed at Elora's feet.