A/N: Hello, my lovelies!
I'm constantly amazed at how many of you have taken this story to your heart and I thank each and every one of you. Your comments make me smile and laugh and I'm touched that you care about my characters as much as I do.
This chapter is a bit of a rollercoaster - so hold on to your hats! I was going to post it yesterday but I was given a 2-hr pamper package and after that massage, I was too relaxed and lazy to do anything. Wish I rich enough to have one of those every day!
I don't own anything, but if I did, I would have Richard Armitage be my personal masseuse, in his guises of Thorin, John Thornton, Sir Guy, John Porter, Lucas North or any of his other ones (except, maybe, Francis Dolarhyde, but then again...)
Chapter 29
The sensation of something tickling his nose woke Thorin up with a start. His groggy mind didn't immediately register where he was or what had woken him as he forced his eyes open. What he was met with was a tangled nest of golden curls, one of them responsible for waking him up, belonging to the body pressed back against his own.
Bella.
Immediately, images of the wondrous night they had shared flooded his memory, filling him with such happiness that he didn't know if he could contain it. His arm was wrapped around her middle, as if he couldn't let go of her even in his sleep. Gently, so as not to wake her, he tightened his grip, revelling in the feel of her soft skin pressed all along his, the air redolent with the scent of their lovemaking.
The room was flooded with light coming through her window and Thorin guessed that it was roughly around noon. Little wonder, he thought to himself, seeing as they hadn't slept until dawn. The night had been too special to waste with sleeping.
Sighing contentedly, he lay there, recalling all that had passed between them last night. From their frenzied passion that led him to take her up against her door, to the hours of unhurried lovemaking, where he had left not one single bit of skin unloved. That Bella had done the same to him, loving him with her hands, mouth and body, had him stirring again and he absently wondered how long before she woke so that he could demonstrate his love again as he had over and over in the dark of the night.
To distract himself, his mind wandered to their future. Would she wish for them to stay here in Hobbiton or would she consent to return to Erebor?
When he had first arrived he had hoped that Bella would return to Erebor as his queen. Then he would have everything he wanted; his kingdom and his beloved wife. He was sincere in his offer to remain in Hobbiton but his heart fervently hoped that she would not choose that option.
As time wore on, though, that desire seemed to weaken. Whether it was the peaceful nature of the place or it was because Bella was here, he thought less and less about his life in the mountain. As selfish as it was, he was enjoying not having the responsibilities placed on him due to his birth right. For the first time in his life, he was just an ordinary person instead of a king whose people looked to him for guidance in everything. The immense pressures of caring for his people, finding them a new home, ensuring their survival and then reclaiming their ancestral home, and the enormous work of restoring it back to something resembling what it was, had worn him down. He had shouldered that burden for so long that it was only when it was gone that he realised the toll it had taken on him.
He was supremely grateful that he had family, friends and councillors to help him along the way, but the responsibility had always ultimately rested with him. His peoples' survival depended on the decisions he made and a wrong one could result in their harm. That was why he had told Gandalf that he wouldn't be responsible for Bella's fate on the quest. He didn't think he could take on any more onto his shoulders. Of course, his heart had never believed it as it had already been enslaved by her and he knew that he would do whatever it took to keep her safe.
In the end, it had been she that had kept him safe.
He knew that returning to Erebor would mean a return to the burdens of being a king again. It was different now, as they would not be struggling for their sheer survival. His neighbouring kingdoms were now his friends and allies and life was getting better for all of them. But the duties of a king would still require his time and energy, time that would take him away from his beloved. There would be times when he may only see her at night or when he would have to leave her if there was a need to protect their borders.
Here, in Hobbiton, his time was his own. He knew it was an idyll but it was getting harder and harder to contemplate leaving it. If he wanted to spend the day with Bella, he could. He didn't have to make decisions that impacted on others; his only concern being Bella and ensuring her happiness.
If they stayed, he would have to return to Erebor to officially abdicate. The thought of it didn't disturb him as much as he believed it would, though leaving his nephews and sister would be a wrench. He would console himself with the fact that travel was safer and that they could visit each other, despite the distance.
He smiled wistfully as he imagined hosting them at Bag End, Bella round with his babe, whilst their older children rushed around greeting their relatives.
Yes, he could be very content to remain in Hobbiton for the rest of his days.
It simply remained for Bella to tell him of her decision.
Bella stirring in her sleep dragged his thoughts back to the present, but she still didn't wake up. Thorin carefully lifted himself up, resting on one elbow, and gazed lovingly down at her beloved face. Her lips were slightly swollen and reddened, a result of all the kisses he had demanded from her, which she had willingly given. He looked down over her uncovered torso, and could see the numerous little marks on her skin, evidence of the strength of his passion. He imagined he had a number on his own flesh, as Bella had been just as ferocious in her desire at times. He grinned proudly at the thought of being marked by his One.
When his stomach rumbled rather loudly, Thorin decided to prepare breakfast for them both. She would probably be ravenous when she woke, after all their exertions during the night. Besides, they would need sustenance as he had no plans of letting her out of that bed any time soon.
Slowly, he rolled off the bed, standing and stretching his tired but very content muscles before pulling on his breeches. He dropped a whisper-soft kiss on her cheek and left the room.
Spotting some white cloth by the front door, he strode over and picked it up, smirking as he recognised the remnants of Bella's drawers that he had destroyed in his eagerness to get to her. He would purchase several more for her if it meant he got to enjoy the pleasure of ripping them off her body.
Throwing the material scraps in the rubbish, he proceeded to prepare breakfast for the two of them, unconsciously whistling as he worked. Finding a tray, he loaded the bacon and eggs he cooked, as well as some scones he found in the pantry. He made sure he added some cream and jam to the tray as well as two mugs of tea. As a last touch, he raced out the front door, uncaring that he was only wearing breeches and anyone could see him, and picked a few flowers from her front yard, placing them in a small vase and adding it to the tray.
Satisfied, he carried the tray to Bella's room and placed it on her dresser, after making some room, so that he could kiss her awake.
Kneeling on the floor, he leant over and rubbed his lips against hers, coaxing her from slumber. Bella's mouth opened as she stirred and he took the opportunity to suck her bottom lip gently, pulling on it for a moment before moving to her cheek and down to her neck, nibbling on the fragrant skin there.
Bella let out a sleepy moan at his attentions before finally opening her eyes to see Thorin grin and kiss her properly as he wrapped his arms around her to lift her into him. Automatically, her arms wrapped around his neck as they lost themselves in the moment, only interrupted by the loud growl from her stomach.
Pulling back, Thorin chuckled and kissed her nose before standing up to grab the tray. Which was a huge effort in itself, as Bella was sitting up naked, the sheets pooled at her waist. His mouth literally watered as he gazed at her soft, full breasts and he was about to put the tray down and feast on her instead but her stomach grumbled again.
"Sorry," she laughed softly.
Admonishing himself for his selfishness, Thorin placed the tray on the bed and sat down. "Can't have my hobbit going hungry," he replied with a smile. "Especially after the night she had." He was gratified to see the blush creep up her body at the reminder of their lovemaking, the rosy blush covering most of her torso but then frowning as she moved to get out of bed.
"Where are you going?" he asked, staring at her naked body as she walked to her wardrobe.
"I need to clean up a little," she explained, somewhat shyly. "I'll be right back."
Thorin nodded in understanding. They both needed a good bath. Perhaps he could persuade her to save time and effort and bathe together, he mused happily. After they had made love several more times, of course.
Bella returned shortly, wearing only the patchwork robe that she had been wearing all that time ago, and he smiled fondly at the memory now.
"Were you awake long?" she asked as she sat back on the bed and Thorin handed her the tea. "You look like you've been busy," she commented as she looked at the food.
"Not too long. I was woken by an errant curl that decided to tickle my nose," he teased. "I must say, it beats being woken up by Dwalin."
Bella giggled at the thought as they dove into their breakfast. Neither realised just how hungry they actually were until they began eating and it was polished off in no time at all.
"Mmm, that was lovely. Thank you," said Bella, admiring the way Thorin's breeches hugged his hips and legs as he stood to leave the tray outside the door. He would clean up later. Much later.
Thorin could feel her eyes on him and his body reacted as it always did when he was near her. When he turned back, the material of his breeches was straining to contain him and his eyes glazed over when he saw her licking her lips as she stared at the prominent bulge.
Wordlessly, he opened the buttons and pushed the material down his legs, standing before her in all his naked glory. He watched her breathing become laboured as her eyes roved over all of him, from the tangled hair on his head, the glittering blue eyes that burned with lust, his defined, muscled chest and arms and down over his legs, covered in a dusting of hair that didn't hide the strength of them before returning back up to his taut, proud erection that ached for her, despite the number times he'd already had her.
Bella looked into his eyes, hers burning with the same need as his, and slowly undid her robe before shrugging it off her shoulders. All semblance of shyness or modesty was long gone as she kneeled on the bed, beckoning him with her lush nakedness. With a tiny smirk, she lifted her arms to him and it signalled the end of any control he possessed.
With a low, possessive growl, Thorin crawled onto the bed and pulled her into him, one hand on her bottom as he ground her into his manhood while the other tangled itself into her hair so that he could devour her mouth. Entwined, so that not even a piece of parchment would fit between their bodies, they swayed together in their urgency to reach the ecstasy they had attained over and over during the night. A part of Thorin was amazed that he could feel such burning need for her again, so soon.
Mindless, Bella pulled him down on top of her, curling her legs around his hips, her body open and craving his possession. Obeying her unspoken demand, he plunged into her, drawing a gasp from her at the same time that she began rolling her hips, using her legs for leverage.
Raising himself onto his hands, bending one knee so that he was as deeply inside her as possible, he began the timeless rhythmic dance, each loud moan from her inciting him to thrust harder and faster, grunting softly from his efforts. His eyes were fixed on her breasts as they swayed with their movements until he had to bend his head and take one in his mouth.
His teeth biting teasingly on her nipple seemed to unlock the floodgates, and with a small cry, she climaxed under him, her nails digging into his shoulders in her wild abandonment. A couple more urgent, unco-ordinated thrusts and he was crying out hoarsely, collapsing onto her as his body shook from the delirious pleasure she wrung from him.
Neither of them spoke as they attempted to recover from the intensity of their lovemaking, aftershocks shooting through them as their breathing and pulses slowed down.
Thorin rolled off her, sucking in his breath at the small surge of pleasure he felt as he withdrew, her sex still gripping him tightly despite their ecstatic release. He pulled her to him, enfolding her in his arms as they cooled, both of them covered in a fine sheen of sweat.
They lay drowsily for a long time, Thorin believing Bella had fallen asleep again until she began idly playing with the whorls of hair on his chest. He covered it with own and lifted her hand to his lips, kissing each fingertip before placing it back on his chest.
"Bella?"
"Hmm?" she replied sleepily.
"What happens now? Do we stay here or do we return to Erebor?"
He felt her stiffen in his arms at the question and hastened to reassure her. "If you're not certain yet, I can wait. I just wondered which way you were leaning, that's all."
Instead of relaxing her, Bella pulled away from him and sat up, fumbling for her robe.
"Bella? What's wrong?" he asked her, a puzzled frown on his handsome face. "You accepted me, so I am curious…" His voice drifted off as she pulled on her robe with jerky movements and clumsily tried to tie it as she stood up. "You have accepted me…haven't you?"
"I…I…no…I…" she stammered.
Heart pounding, Thorin stood up, uncaring about his nudity. "Bella? You accepted me. I asked if you were sure. We made love…over and over…"
"I thought you meant…if I was sure…about making…love. I wasn't…I'm not…sure," she stumbled over her words, looking everywhere but at him.
Thorin felt like that vice like grip on his heart that he had woken to from his injuries, and which had disappeared when he saw her again, was back. His mind was racing in his confusion.
"You're not sure?" he asked incredulously, his voice reflecting his roiling emotions. "You're not sure if you want to be my wife? To be with me? If you can trust me? Is that it?"
Bella nodded, her eyes darting all over the room.
Feeling like he was drowning, Thorin grabbed his breeches and pulled them on, trying to make sense of everything. As he donned his shirt, he could feel the anger rise.
"Why? Have I not done everything I can to prove myself to you? Have I not apologised over and over for what I did? Why did you sleep with me if you were not sure?" His voice rose at the end and he struggled to control it.
Bella's eyes glistened as she wrung her hands nervously. "I…I wanted you. I…can't…explain…"
"So, I'm redeemed enough in your eyes to sleep with, but not enough to accept as your husband. Was this to be a one time event? Were you going to discard me once you had your fill of my body?" he sneered.
"No! Oh, how can I explain? I just don't know if I can trust you…" she replied tearfully.
Thorin looked at her and he felt like he was aging before her eyes. His very bones felt like lead at the realisation of what she was doing. The anger he was feeling disappeared, leaving only a gaping emptiness filled only with the boulder-sized weight he felt in his chest.
"I see all now," he said woodenly. At her puzzled glance, he gave her a mirthless smirk. "Yes, I see. This is your revenge, your punishment, for what I did. You were never really going to forgive me, were you? Nothing I did, or will do, will ever be enough to earn your forgiveness for my mistake. You were going to lead me to believe that we could be together, that we had a future, wherever that may be, and then kill my dreams for us, like I almost killed you."
Bella shook her head in denial. "No, Thorin…"
Thorin looked down in order to compose himself. "I congratulate you, Bella. You couldn't have succeeded any better. You have avenged yourself and I concede defeat."
He moved stiffly past her still body, picking up the rest of his clothing and clumsily pulled them on. Bella hadn't moved from her spot.
Fully dressed, he reached for something in his tunic as he faced her dresser. "It is what I deserve. My crime was always too great for your forgiveness and I don't know why I ever believed I could ever earn it, or your trust. It was a fool's hope that I had. And I am the world's greatest fool, aren't I? For not seeing or admitting your worth from the very beginning, for allowing myself to succumb to that disease but mostly, for believing, for even the smallest time, that I could have it all. I have been alone all my life, so I shall die alone, repenting of my stupidity each and every day."
His voice sounded dead, even to his own ears and he could her hear her breath catching.
"I will return to Erebor, and allow you to live your life in peace. I will organise a way to get your share of the treasure to you, as is your due." He could hear her start to protest but he cut her off. "It was part of the contract, and Thorin Oakenshield is done breaking his word. What you do with it is your business, but you will receive it."
He opened his hand and placed two items on her dresser. One was the key that unlocked the secret entrance to Erebor, that he had carried for all those months on the quest; the other was the small, silver bead that he had given her on their betrothal in Laketown.
"Despite everything, know that I will always love you, Bella. I cannot shut it off, as much as I wish I could. You will always be my One. If…if ever you should need my help, I will always answer your call. If there ever comes a time you come to Erebor, even if only to visit one of the company, the key will guarantee your right to enter my kingdom at your will. My door will always be open to you. And the bead? It is yours. I will never use it now…so you may as well keep it."
Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes in pain. He had gambled and lost. He now had to find a way to go on without his heart and soul. For not the first time, he wished Mahal had taken him when he had the chance. At least he would not have to endure this agony.
"I would never have believed you to be cruel," he whispered brokenly. "I didn't think it was in you, but then, I have been wrong about many things."
Squaring his shoulders, he turned and saw Bella sobbing into her hands. He ached to hold her, but he had no right. He had destroyed that right on that accursed day.
"Goodbye, Bella. May Mahal keep you safe for all your days," he said, his voice cracking at the end.
Without looking at her, he strode from the room and out of Bag End, pausing at the door for a moment, the sound of her sobs ringing in his ears.
He strode back to the forge, the fierce scowl on his face deterring anybody, even the most hung-over stragglers, from saying anything to him.
Fool! Fool! Fool!
How could he have believed for one moment that his actions were worthy of true forgiveness? That he deserved to ever have her trust again? He had never deserved it. He had known this in his heart before he ever set out from Erebor, but he needed to know for certain. He had to know if the hope he had held was justified.
It wasn't.
Bella's punishment was great indeed. He had truly believed that she had forgiven him, that they were working towards regaining that closeness they had shared for such a short time. That they would become one.
His stunned mind couldn't quite comprehend how well she had deceived him. All those looks, the conversations, the unfulfilled desire between them, until last night – they had all been lies. All part of her revenge.
He knew he had been cruel to her at times during their journey, and he had sincerely apologised for it after they became friends, but he would never have done this. He simply could not lie like that. Her cruelty took his breath away.
And yet, he couldn't be angry at her, however much he wanted to rail and shout and destroy something in his agony. He had brought this on himself.
He loved her still. He would never stop loving her, ever. He would take his last breath - and right now, he hoped it would be soon - and still carry her in his heart.
The boulder that seemed to be squeezing the breath from him was getting larger with each step. When he came within sight of the forge, he knew he couldn't go in yet. He needed…he didn't know what he needed.
Turning away from the forge, he walked, staggered, into the surrounding forest and continued on, not heeding where he was going until he collapsed at the foot of birch tree.
He looked up, but his vision was blurred and he was struggling to breathe. A corner of his mind was praying that this was his end, the pain shooting through him becoming unbearable.
In the maelstrom of emotions and thoughts, he became vaguely aware of someone crying, no, sobbing, but didn't have the strength to look around to see who it was.
It was a long time before he realised it was him.
Bofur was whistling merrily as he returned home. He had just come from Poppy's home where he had formally asked her father for her hand in marriage. He didn't want to waste any more time. Neither did Poppy.
They had spent several hours in that field last night, talking and kissing. Lots and lots of kissing. But no more than that, though Mahal help him, it had taken all his will power to stop himself from claiming her totally. Not that Poppy was any help. She had displayed an eagerness and passion for him that boded for much pleasure in their marriage bed.
However much Bofur wanted Poppy, he was determined to marry her first and all her efforts to get him to change his mind were not going to dissuade him from this decision. To this end, they decided that they were going to marry as soon as possible. Sitting far enough away from her wandering hands, they talked about where they would live and how her parents would react to her marrying a dwarf and how long it would be before they could be married in Hobbiton.
When Poppy had described the normal courtship period for hobbits, Bofur had nearly groaned aloud. How was he to stop himself from bedding her when everything about her tempted him? If was just his own desires, he may have been able to control them, but he would be no match for hers. The cheeky twinkle in her eyes told him that she would do her best to wear him down.
Luckily, Poppy decreed that the time they had spent as friends counted as their courtship and that if her parents objected, she would defy them and marry him anyway. She had reached her majority and didn't have to have their permission. Bofur hoped it wouldn't come to that as he didn't want Poppy to be in conflict with her family over him.
They spoke about where to live for a long while. They knew that whichever place they chose to spend their lives, one of them would be a long way away from their family but being together was more important.
It was very late by the time Bofur walked Poppy home, both of them bursting with joy, though there still many hobbits partying, while others staggered home, wishing them a good night in loud, drunken voices.
With one last, passionate kiss, Bofur left, promising to come in the morning to see her father. He was sure he slept with a grin on his face for what remained of the night.
The next day, the three younger dwarves stumbled out to the kitchen, their faces registering the extent of their hangovers. Bifur was chattering away happily as he cooked some breakfast for them, while Dwalin was still passed out on the floor beside the fire where his hobbit companions had left him. It didn't look like he was going to be coming around any time soon.
None of them missed the obvious fact that Thorin had not come home last night. Kili let out a half-hearted 'whoop' before groaning and clutching his head.
Bofur decided to keep his news to himself until everyone was in a fit state to take it in. Greeting everyone cheerfully, he whittled away anxiously until it was time to visit Poppy.
Seated in her parent's sitting room, nervously twisting his hat, which he had removed out of respect to her father, he waited for Poppy's parents to speak. Poppy took one of his hands and looked pleadingly at them.
"So, you want to take my little Poppy to the other side of Middle Earth to live inside a mountain?" asked Fortinbras Gardner sternly. "Hobbits don't live underground."
"If I may speak freely, Master Gardner?" asked Bofur, squeezing Poppy's hand. At the older hobbit's nod, he continued. "Poppy and I discussed this at length before we came to you. You see, while I was part of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield that helped reclaim the Lonely Mountain, I don't have the attachment to it that the others feel. I was not born there, neither were my kin. I joined because it was a chance to make a fortune, have an adventure and because I greatly admire Thorin, not because I wanted my home back. I have spent much of my life on the road, not in mountain dwellings. I have come to love Hobbiton, and not only because of Poppy. I feel at peace here and I have been welcomed by the good folk of the Shire. I would be happy to live here with my wife for the rest of my days. Of course, I would love to take Poppy to see Erebor and meet my brother and his family, perhaps as a wedding trip. I know she would enjoy seeing the marvels of Erebor and see some of the world but our home would be here. Wherever we lived, though, I would love Poppy with all my heart and do everything to ensure she was happy and safe."
He looked at Poppy, who's eyes were shining with unshed tears as she smiled at him lovingly before turning back to her parents. The older couple looked at each other, communicating silently as couples of long-standing do, before turning back to their daughter and her suitor.
Fortinbras cleared his throat before speaking. "Well, that was a very pretty speech, Master Bofur. Very pretty. And very convincing as well." He looked at Poppy. "Is this what you really want, Poppy?"
"Yes, Papa. I love Bofur with all my heart. He is the best person I have ever known and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him and our children." Bofur's grin was almost blinding.
Fortinbras Gardner sighed the sigh of a father who knew he had to let his little girl go into the care of another hobbit, or in her case, dwarf. Still, he could now boast of being the only hobbit to have a dwarf as a son-in-law. And a very rich one, so his daughter would want for nothing.
"Very well then, you have my blessing." Poppy shrieked with happiness before engulfing her father in a hug and then doing the same with her mother. Bofur settled for a strong handshake and a kiss on his future mother-in-law's cheek.
The only protest they put up was the speed with which the wedding was to take place, but Poppy argued her case and they backed down. They would be wed in one month's time, and Bofur would count down every minute.
It was late afternoon when he returned to the forge and he first saw Dwalin sitting at the table, nursing a dragon-sized hangover.
"Ahh, the warrior awakes!" teased Bofur, earning himself a scowl. "So, did you win your drinking competition?"
Dwalin groaned before dropping his head onto the table. "Who would've thought those little runts could hold their drink like that?" Bofur burst out laughing.
Fili and Kili walked in from outside, carrying baskets of left over food which had been pressed into their hands. "Looks like we'll be eating well tonight," grinned Fili.
"Has Thorin returned yet?" asked Bofur, looking around.
Kili shook his head, a cheeky grin on his face. "Not yet. I wonder what could have kept him?" he asked, the brothers chuckling knowingly.
"Who knows when we'll see him," remarked Dwalin. "Probably wrapped around his hobbit as we speak."
The heavy footsteps coming from the forge had them turning around but the look on Thorin's face was not what any of them expected.
Instead of the joyous expression of someone who finally got his heart's desire, Thorin's face showed utter devastation, his skin pale and haggard and there was no disguising the sorrow behind the puffy eyelids.
"Uncle?" said Fili, his face showing the puzzlement they all felt.
"We leave for Erebor tomorrow morning," stated Thorin harshly.
"What? Tomorrow?" cried Kili. "What about…?"
"I SAID, we leave tomorrow! Either you are ready when I leave or you will be left behind. Let the others know," he retorted, his voice hard.
"What happened?" asked Dwalin in shock.
Thorin rounded on him in anger. "IT IS OVER!. Our stay is over and we return to Erebor, where we belong," he continued, trying to control his temper.
"And is Bella coming too?" asked Fili.
"No! Now do as I say and prepare for our departure," he ground out and turned to go into the forge.
"Uncle! What are you…" questioned Fili. What was going on?
"NO MORE! JUST DO AS I SAID!" roared Thorin.
"I'm not coming," came the calm voice of Bofur, stopping Thorin in his tracks. At his king's questioning look, he told the others of his news. "I'm going to wed Poppy and we are staying in Hobbiton."
No-one quite knew what to do. Something catastrophic had happened between Bella and Thorin for him to suddenly want to leave the Shire and at the same time, another of their Company had achieved his heart's goal.
There was silence until Thorin himself, broke it. "Congratulations to you and Poppy. At least one of us got what they wanted."
With that, he stormed out of the room, leaving several bewildered dwarves behind him.
A/N: **Ducks**
Ok, so... I did say it was going to be a rollercoaster. Before you throw stuff at your screen and/or curse me to Mordor, I promise that things will be resolved and very soon. I'm not intending to drag this on as the story is coming to an end and I did say many chapters ago, that I am a dyed-in-the-wool HEA girl. Even though I was yelling at Bella myself - and I'm writing the thing! So hang in there, people.
Thanks to lizajay12 for proofreading each chapter as usual, even when she has limited time. It's much appreciated.
