JNPR Reacts to Dear Fanfiction!
A/N: Right, the chapter you may or may not have been waiting for, the sequel to the first Dear Fanfiction chapter, featuring team JNPR! Yeah! Woo! Much thanks to Little Sun Dragon-Chan for letting me feature her fic a second time for this. Go read that instead, it's far better in so little words~
DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be a character based off of the Epic of Gilgamesh.
Dear Fanfiction belongs to Little Sun Dragon-Chan.
Previously, on RWBY Reacts to Dear Fanfiction!
"Dear Fanfiction...wait..."
"I'm not addicted to cookies!"
"THIS IS DELICIOUS!"
"WHY AM I CURSED TO FIND LITTLE TSUNDERE HEIRESSES CUTE AND LOVEABLE."
"Elf-kun, can I have a part in this one apart from breaking the fourth wall-"
"NO."
"AND WHO SAID I WAS A WHINY BITCH THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW ME"
"I RUB MY HAND OVER THEM WHILE SHE SLEEPS"
"AND I SWEAR IF ANYONE MENTIONS CATNIP I WILL END THEIR LIVES."
...but Blake's so fun to tease and hug..."
"This'll be interesting to see..."
Jaune was lazily browsing the Dustnet, sighing. He was at a loss for anything to do today; Cardin was away on account of 'hiding evidence' or something, he didn't know, it probably had to do with Melanie or something, while the rest of his team was off doing their usual lollygagging; Nora and Ren were either kissing each other senseless in the lounge or studying in the library, and Pyrrha was off talking to Weiss about the latest development in the world of cupcakes; she loved cupcakes, for some reason.
He sighed. "Well then." He decided to go check his FanStories profile, in the hope of something interesting popping up; an updated story, review, new alert, anything. He encountered three new private messages.
The first was some random person; profile name ElfCollaborator- gushing about how much of a fan he was of Weiss and if he could get him in contact with Weiss or something. He immediately deleted it, writing the person off as a 'weirdo'.
The second one was from 'ScarleteenRabbit', Velvet's profile. This one was a request for him to beta a fanfic of hers, titled 'Snowcoated Rabbits'. Jaune immediately sensed something weird from it and decided to politely decline- "Something tells me it'll be a weird fic shipping her and Weiss- I swear, she's practically a family friendly Yuno..."- and go on to the third one.
"Hm? Little Sun Dragon-Sempai?" He recognized the username immediately as Yang's and clicked on it.
The text of the message read:
-Hey jauney boy listen i read this really funny fanfic just the other day and I thought you should read it and show it to ren and nora and that so yeah its really funny just read it
Its called dear fanfiction and its written by little sun dragon-chan (not mine, don't worry, although her name is awesome) its a bunch of letters written like its from you guys and its hilarious she even did me (oh my dust i love her so much)
Seriously though read it
-love, yang
ps. sorry for the bad grammar was in a hurry to get something done
"Dear Fanfiction?" He scratched his head. "Hm...I think Weiss was talking about that a while ago...hm." He nodded. I'll take a look at it. "Writing from our perspectives, huh? That sounds...interesting."
Jaune, curious to see this story, typed in the title and narrowed the search down to the RWBY fandom, spotting the fanfic.
"Well...here goes nothing." He clicked on the link and dove in.
Jaune chuckled, amused at the first couple of chapters. "Hehe...Ruby's so cute when she's flustered, and so's Weiss...although I'll speak for the sorbet thing." He nodded in agreement; Weiss WAS incredibly partial towards sorbet; not as much as she was towards frozen yoghurt- "I have a figure to keep, Arc!")- but she was indeed partial to the frozen dessert.
"Hm, Ninjas of Love isn't smut?" Jaune gasped in mock horror- it was practically an open secret that Blake read the series for its indecency, as its plot was practically non-existent. "And of COURSE Yang HAS to say she's so hot she burns..." He chuckled. "Not that it doesn't have any base in truth...this was pretty funny. Hm. I wonder if she did mine?" He browsed the chapter list idly, spotting his name and clicking on the chapter title.
"Let's see what they think I'd say..."
"I'm not a wimp!" He folded his arms defensively. "I'm perfectly brave! Yeah!" He snorted.
It was true- last week, he managed to approach a Rapier Wasp WITHOUT flinching. More to the point, since the Ursa incident with Cardin, he'd become braver and bolder- much to Ren's amusement, as this allowed him to take more embarrassing pictures of Jaune in bad situations he'd gotten himself into- indeed, Jaune still remembered the time when Ren had caught him covered in maple syrup with-
"Okay, okay, bad idea, brain, don't think bad thoughts..." He sighed, shaking his head. "Heh...I'm not that attractive...or, for that matter, set on thinking I'm that attractive...and I don't think Weiss denies it either...not like that, anyway. I think she got over it."
"JAUNE IS NOT AT ALL RIPPED AND I DON'T FIND THOSE JUICY ABS ATTRACTIVE AND I DON'T FIND HIM CUTE WHEN HE'S DRESSED LIKE SABER!"
"Uh...Weiss?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did you say that?"
"Uh..." Weiss rubbed the back of her head. "I suppose I..." She blushed. Milly shrugged.
"Who said I have a pained and disturbing past? I had a perfectly normal past!" The blond boy looked confused.
His parents, after all, were completely normal parents for their world; a man who liked strutting around without a shirt, dressed in nothing but trousers and a cloak, shouting various hot-blooded sayings and a scantily dressed woman with a penchant for lugging around large rifles- he even noted their similarity to Kamina and Yoko once, but, as they were both blondes, in the former's case, not dead, and in the latter's case, not traumatized by losing several people she cared about, and not commandeering mecha, he shrugged it off. They were fun people, if a bit eccentric; and complete badasses, to boot. They were Arcs, after all.
Indeed, the reason he'd snuck into Beacon was, very simply, he'd sucked at being a Huntsman in his old school- Jaune felt that disappointing his father wasn't going to go down well, and at the time, he viewed it as the only way he could make it up to him. However, Ozpin, after finding out, let him stay, seeing potential in the young man, and he'd proven himself time after time...
...and, of course, his dad came in. Needless to say, "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK MY SON IS?!" followed Jaune around for weeks, and the headmaster decided to let Jaune stay after several hours of the same.
Shaking his head at the thought of his dad, Jaune smirked at the next couple of sentences. "Hehe...I don't have a thing for redheads...after all, Pyrrha and I are just friends-"
Pyrrha sighed dreamily, looking at a picture of her beloved Jaune.
"...why do you never notice me, Jaune-kun~"
"-Ruby's cute and all, but she's into Weiss-"
"...hm...I wonder what being with Weiss and Jaune would be like." Ruby murmured to herself as she read through Weiss' yaoi manga for the umpteenth time.
"-and I'm not interested in Nora. That's...practically it, I think?" He nodded. "Yeah, that's it. I'm kinda flattered that the fans think I'm the king of harems, but seriously, guys.
Guys. I'm nothing like the greats; Minato Arisato, Tenchi, Tsukune...no way am I like them, no way. Hell, I can't even match Ranma..." Jaune chuckled goodnaturedly at the notion of him gathering a harem.
"But seriously, me and REN?! WHO SHIPS THAT?!"
"Yep, those two need to be together. Not as much as him, Weiss and Rubes, mind, but I need me some boy-on-boy action." Yang smirked to herself and sat herself in front of the computer.
Cackling evilly to herself, the girl began typing out the smuttiest and most vividly described yaoi fanfiction between Ren and Jaune.
"And me with Velvet? Everyone knows she's all obsessed over Weiss...that'd never work. Even if she liked me...I don't think that'd be a good thing." He shuddered at the thought of having Velvet on his tail instead of Weiss'...
Needless to say, his thoughts ended with Velvet possibly chopping his head off for hanging out with Pyrrha. He shuddered. "...heh...but I know Velvet's nothing like that...thank Dust, too..." He chuckled nervously, hoping that Velvet wasn't around to hear him say that. Sighing in relief, he read on to the last part of the chapter.
"Heh, ladies do like the onesie..." Jaune blushed a bit, before deciding to leave his thoughts about the story.
From: ArturiaOfArc
Kinda flattered about this. Thanks, this really made my day!
Although...you could've covered less about my ships... I mean, half of the chapter was about my ships. Am I really that shippable? I wish I really was like that in real life...
So, yeah, good work. By the way, if you've met Little Sun Dragon-Sempai, that's Yang; she told me about this story too, so nice work impressing us.
-Jaune Arc
Satisfied, Jaune felt his stomach rumble.
"Oh...hm...I might need to get some snacks..." Nodding to himself, he picked up his coat and slung it on, before striding out of JNPR dorm...
...Just in time for Nora to walk in, holding yet another Melanie doll to her chest. The sounds of Cardin's flustered shouting could be heard behind her.
"VALKYRIE COME BACK HERE WITH THAT DOLL DAMMIT" Nora stayed behind the door, hearing his heavy footsteps storm past her door, and only let herself calm down when the footsteps had faded off into the distance. Sighing in relief, Nora threw the doll into her dresser, alongside various sloth dolls and wiping her brow of sweat.
"Now that was fun!" Smiling cheerily, she spotted something interesting on Jaune's computer. "Oooh, fanfic!" Nora rushed over to read it. "Oh, is this that thing Yang was talking about? And...and there's a chapter about me?! MUST READ. NOW." Sitting down, she flipped through the chapter list to find hers, before reading it.
"Hm..." She rubbed her chin. "I'm not crazy! I'm crazy awesome! Hmph. Some people just don't understand that the sloths made ME their divine representative upon Remnant. Such fools." She folded her arms, before reading more of the letter.
"Why, thank you, I AM bubbly and likeable. Ren seems to think so...and is that REN in this chapter? YAAAAAY!" She cheered, before reading closer. "Hmmm...I wonder how they found out he said no sugar for me...did Ren say something?" Nora gasped. "Oh my Dust, is there a camera somewhere? No way!" She turned the dorm upside down for a hidden camera; under the bed, under Pyrrha and Jaune's beds, under the closet, under the giant sloth doll she kept in the corner, under Jaune's Saber costume, but nothing. Sighing in relief, she went back to reading.
"Well, good to know nobody's stalking me. The sloths wouldn't like that..." She shuddered. "...and Ren DOES want to have my babies~ I'm adorable, after all! Who wouldn't want to have my babies~"
Nora giggled. "Oooh, what would having kids with Ren be like? I bet our daughters would be completely awesome and sloth loving and our sons would be all like Ren; cool and silent and aloof and so adorable...hm...
I think I told Ren we planned on having six children. Did I? I think I did."
"Heh." Ren chuckled good-naturedly at Ruby. "No, one kid's enough."
"But Nora said you'd be having six!" Ruby responded, innocently.
"Wait, WHAT?!" Ren looked at her, eyes wide. When DID Nora say that?!
"Yeah! She said she'd name them all Lelouch, Nunnally, Euphe-"
"NORA WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLANNING?!"
"Hm...Ursai are cute...hm...unless we're talking about like, Volibear's tribe, not the Grimm...hm...although Voli against an Ursa would be pretty awesome!" The girl giggled as she read some more. "Breaking people's legs isn't just a hobby for me, though. I'm a professional leg-breaker! One day I'll even have a card, saying 'Nora Valkyrie, Leg-Breaker at Law'!"
Chuckling, she then read the final portion of the chapter, which she responded to by laughing out loud. "So people DO see us together! Hmph! Eat it, Weiss! I KNEW people shipped me and Ren together!
All part of my devious plan..." Nora cackled evilly, before reverting to her normal self. "And I AM THE QUEEN OF THE CASTLE! And not on drugs. No way. No; drugs are bad. BAD.
Not the Sloth Queen, though, no, I just listen to them when they need me. For I am vengeance. I am the night.
I am...Slothgirl."
From: SlothLoverBacongirl
Totes made my day! ^^ Love you!
Oh and by the way this is Nora just so you know and Ren's cute and HE'S MINE
-Nora
Nora, being Nora, decided that the best way to exit JNPR dorm was to jump out of the window, shouting "SLOTHGIRL!"...
...before colliding into Blake, who'd fallen from the sky AGAIN.
"Ow! Oh, hey, Blake...uh..."
"Dammit, that drill didn't work! I thought using Ea would pierce the heavens and make Kamina-san proud!" Blake sighed. "...I'll just have to use a bigger drill...at least Ea's gone...so that Velvet can't use it to blow us up or something...
...hope it doesn't hit someone on the head, though..."
Nora scratched her head. "Uh, what are you talking about?"
"Nothing."
Gilgamesh was screaming in the middle of Fuyuki City. He was missing his beloved weapon, Ea, and he was, to say the least, irritated.
"WHERE THE HELL IS MY DRILL?! WHAT KIND OF MONGREL STOLE IT FROM ME?! I AM GILGAMESH, KING OF HEROES! HOW DARE SOME MONGREL STEAL IT FROM ME-"
...before he was knocked unconscious by Ea clonking him on the head.
Pyrrha strolled into the dorm, munching a cupcake. The icing had gotten itself all over her face and mouth; the effect would be called cute, had Jaune or anyone else been there. The markswoman sat down at the computer desk, reading what was on the screen, curious.
"Oh, this fic." She wiped the icing off her mouth, nodding. "Weiss was talking about this...interesting concept, writing letters to the fandom from our perspective...I wonder if...if they pair me with...J-Jaune-kun..." She blushed at the thought of her foolish, bumbling, cute, handsome, funny dunce of a leader; yes, she called him a dunce. She found the name cute. Shaking her head, she sighed.
"...n-not like he'll ever notice me..." Pyrrha frowned. "...eh, I've got nothing to worry about. My cupcakes will never leave me. Cupcakes are my friends." Smiling to herself, while simultaneously slapping herself for talking like a complete idiot, she looked into the chapter list for her name, already knowing she'd be on it.
"Hm. Launching Cardin into the Emerald Forest? Noted...if he gets near MY Jaune-kun ever again. Which I doubt. After all, he learnt his lesson with that Ursa incident...hmph. As if he thought those Rapier Wasps would hurt me...I'm immune to their venom." Pyrrha chuckled. "Fighting like that only during a battle, huh..." She chuckled.
"Yeah...about that..." Pyrrha reminisced about the various times she'd propelled various members of various teams into ceilings and walls using her Semblance in training; indeed, a dent had been labelled 'For Pyrrha' on the wall of the training arena with large arrows pointing to it, in order to make sure she aimed for that instead of destroying even more sections of wall.
She wasn't planning on launching Cardin into the forest anyway, she'd done it enough in the arena.
"Not having a crush on Jaune-kun like a love-struck schoolgirl? Hehehehehe...a-about that..." She blushed; it was even clearer she fancied her team leader than Blake being a Faunus for the two weeks at the beginning of their stay at Beacon she hid her status, and even more obvious that she'd be jealous about him hanging out with Weiss.
Not that she'd do anything, after all. It would make Jaune sad, and Pyrrha didn't want that. She would stoop to Velvet's depths; she was no yandere.
"Hmph. I won't hurt anyone who goes near J-Jaune-kun...as long as they ask him nicely and treat him nicely...
Weiss better hope she doesn't hurt Jaune-kun. I'll be very disappointed if she does...and who dares say I'm a distressed damsel? I'll set Velvet-chan on them. That'll teach them.
I've read enough of those fanfics to know that those usually end with me and Jaune-kun...n-not that I mind...but I'd like to think I wasn't the...damsel..." Pyrrha nodded to herself. "And I w-wouldn't go all motherly on J-Jaune-kun! No, he has Yok-I mean, Madame Arc for that already! Dammit, why does his mother act and look like Yoko so much?" She sighed. "...and damn straight he's mine. I just need to figure out how to convince people he is.
For now, though, Weiss can have her crush on Jaune. For now." She giggled to herself.
Oh, the plots running through Pyrrha's head were stunning indeed.
From: AftermansSpearmaiden
Excellent quality fanfiction. It is quite short and to the point, but that doesn't detract from its quality; indeed, I applaud your ability to deliver such comical and in-character responses with so little content. Congratulations.
PS- If anyone goes after my Jaune-kun it's on you, k?
-Sincerely, Pyrrha Nikos
Satisfied, Pyrrha went to take a nap in Jaune's bed, muttering "Jaune-kun" softly to herself...
...just as Ren stormed into the dorm.
"DAMMIT NORA WE ARE NOT NAMING OUR KIDS AFTER CODE GEASS CHARACTERS. OKAY, MAYBE I'LL ALLOW EUPHEMIA, BUT LELOUCH?! HE'LL GET LAUGHED AT!" Ranting, Ren didn't notice that not only was his girlfriend not there, but a sleeping Pyrrha was nearby. Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, the gunslinger calmed down and took a seat by the computer, reading the screen.
"Dear Fanfiction? Yang was talking about this a couple of weeks back..." He nodded, thinking carefully and skipping to his chapter.
"I wonder what the fans have to say about me?" He chuckled to himself as he read it.
"I am NOT serious." He shook his head. "I'm trying to follow in the paths of the trolling greats; Hazama, Fegelein, Loki..." Ren chuckled to himself; he still remembered the time he'd written a deliberately smutty White Rose fanfic just to listen to Weiss' reaction to it- an inevitably denial-filled rant about how it was unrealistic and she'd never love Ruby like that. Of course, Weiss being Weiss, her attraction to her young team leader was clear as daylight.
Still chuckling, he read through the chapter. "Ah, yes, pairing me with Nora. I believe it's a little too late to tell people to stop that..." He smirked. "And, of course our showering arrangement...is fairly...exciting, to say the least." With a smirk denoting more...indecent things, he continued reading.
"Me and Jaune? Hmph. I don't find him attractive. Cute, in a Saber costume? Maybe. But I would never consider him. No.
Nora's the only one for me. These fans seem to be in need of a reality check, don't they?" He nodded. "And...who the hell is Monty Oum?" Ren sneezed. "Is he that awesome filmmaker who made Dead Fantasy? And is working on that one Rooster Teeth series...that I can't quite remember? Hm...I dunno." He sighed. "Maybe. Why would people think I'm him, though? Anyway..."
The gunslinger read the 'please see' note attached to the end, and a smile grew on his face. "Ah, I don't dress in a maid outfit for Nora, oh no...I dress in sloth costumes for her.
The things I do for love..." Shaking his head, he decided that the fanfic was worthy of his thoughts.
From: JadeDragonMonk
Well done.
-Lie Ren
Ren, having left the most comprehensive review of a fanfic he'd ever done, sat back and relaxed, enjoying the afternoon; he'd talk to Nora later about their future children, he'd decided.
Or, at least, until Yang dropped in.
"Two tickets to the Matrix trilogy midnight showing in Vale, you're coming with me and there's NOTHING you can do about it."
Ren sighed.
"Well...that ended quickly."
END
A/N: Got that over with. Woo. NOW it shall be Weiss Reacts to Curtain Fics next chapter.
On other news, a shout out to Little Sun Dragon-Chan for letting me feature her fic again! Seriously go read it, it's far better, and in far less words, too~
Also, in other, OTHER news, the next chapter line-up's been unveiled. It shall be Weiss Reacts to Fans and...a surprise chapter! Le gasp! What story shall I feature next? Who knows? Even I don't! You'll just have to wait until next chapter!
So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your suggestions, thoughts, reviews, criticisms, and ideas, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!
