Chapter 29- Home Again, Home Again
The moment he stepped into the Ministry, Harry felt as if he'd come home.
The atmosphere of the Ministry was like no other place he'd ever been. There was an air of inefficiency about it, of lost paperwork and people trying to break rules on the sly and laws being passed and forgotten in a breath. But Harry had always made himself a calm island of rightness and clear thinking in the midst of all that. And the contrast had buffered him, supported him.
And, above all, there was the knowledge that he was helping people. Nothing could compare to that.
He was there when the girl he'd saved, whose name turned out to be Linda, abruptly broke down and began to cry, just now realizing what had almost happened to her. He knelt down in front of her and began to speak softly. Draco stood at his shoulder and tried to ruin his good mood, but Harry didn't look back at him. He saw no one but Linda, talked to no one but her. He told her, over and over again, that the man who'd attacked her would spend at least a few months in a cell, and she would never have to see him again; newly developed spells the Aurors used would warn her if he came within a hundred feet of her, and she would be given the free use of an emergency Portkey for at least a year so that she could reach safety if for some reason she couldn't Apparate away from him. That had been an innovation Harry had thought of about five years ago. He was rather proud of it.
And her tears slowed and then stopped, and she took a few deep breaths and nodded. Harry pressed her hand, and stood there watching as a mediwitch from St. Mungo's escorted her gently away.
Then he filed the paperwork for the criminal he'd brought in, and talked quietly to Amelia Bones, who still headed the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. She wanted to know what was going on, of course. Harry told her the story he and Draco had prepared, and watched her eyebrows creep almost to her hairline. He knew she didn't believe him.
But he had always worked well for her, and he'd never done anything like this before, and it seemed that Madam Bones was just relieved to know that one of her Aurors wasn't lying in a coma at St. Mungo's. So that part all went well enough, and Harry got past the awkwardness that might have resulted had she chosen to question him about his so-called relationship with Draco.
The awkward part came when Amelia cleared her throat, leaned forward over the desk, and fixed him with a stern gaze. "And what are you going to do now, Harry? You must realize that the story of your real whereabouts will spread over the wizarding world like fire, and you're unlikely to enjoy a peaceful stay in the Manor with- Malfoy." Harry wondered what uncomplimentary words she'd bitten back. "And there are several cases that could indeed use your help. Wormwood's been struggling with the Moly case."
Harry was grateful that Draco had agreed, after a small sulking fit, to wait in the antechamber to the Head's office. He glanced down at his hands, clasped in his lap, and said nothing.
"Harry?" Amelia prodded gently.
He swallowed, and met her gaze. "How badly is Wormwood handling the Moly case?" he asked.
The light twinkled off her glasses as she sat back. "Badly," she said. "He simply doesn't have enough experience for this. But if we pull him off it and assign him elsewhere..."
She let it trail away, but Harry knew what came next. Assigning Wormwood elsewhere would make the Department look incompetent to have put him on the investigation in the first place, and that was the kind of thing the Minister remembered when it came time to allocate funding to the Departments.
Besides, if Harry had been where he was supposed to be, then the situation would never have arisen. He could have worked with Wormwood, borne the brunt, and compensated for any mistakes his partner made. And that way, when the inevitable split between Harry and Wormwood came, he could move on with his career covered in reflected glory, and some other, less experienced Auror would be assigned to Harry in turn.
Harry could see, now, why Draco thought the Ministry was just using him and his utter unwillingness to trade on his name or demand special treatment because of what he'd accomplished in the past.
But Draco didn't understand something fundamental: Harry didn't care about that. It had never been about rank for him, or money, or how many times his name appeared in the paper. He cared about doing good, and he could do that whether he was partnered with someone who genuinely cared about him or someone who wanted him to do the best he could so that they would get the credit. At the very least, someone who wanted the glory wouldn't get in his way.
And that was all Harry had ever wanted.
He closed his eyes. He had to face the choice, the temptation, that Draco had probably dreaded.
But he knew about his problems now. So in a few weeks, when the pressure of the Moly case ended and he'd covered up any mistakes Wormwood made, he could ease off for a time, make sure he got some more sleep and food, a weekend of flying, and perhaps even a meal or two with Draco.
There were people suffering he could help. How could he say no to that?
"I'm coming back now," he said firmly.
Amelia's face relaxed. "Thank you, Harry," she said, and leaned across the desk to clasp his hand. "I'm not flattering you when I tell you that you're the best Auror we have."
Harry felt a warm glow. No, Amelia wasn't really a friend, and neither were any of the other Aurors he worked with, but did that matter? They appreciated him for something he could do.
And if Draco had a problem with that-
Well, he would just have to live with it, that was all. Harry had his own life.
Draco knew what had gone wrong the moment Harry swept out of Bones's office and past him. He surged up and snatched his elbow, spinning Harry against the wall outside the door. A few people passing gave them curious glances, but Draco didn't give a fuck. He leaned forward, boxing Harry in on either side with his arms, and sneered, "You told her you'd come back, didn't you?"
Harry glared at him. "Yes. And there's absolutely nothing that you can do about it, Malfoy."
"You made a promise," Draco whispered.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Fine. Draco."
"That's not what I meant, you utter pillock!" Draco felt something ugly rear up in his chest. It would have been so very easy to hate Harry in that moment. "You promised to stay in the Manor for a month, to work on getting your life back. And now you're burying yourself in paperwork again. And help on just one case, I'm sure. Then you'll promise yourself to relax, won't you? You think you can stop working for a while as soon as you help your incompetent partner just this once."
The startled look on Harry's face was almost comical. Draco shook his head. "You're an addict, Harry. And that's how addiction works. You'll think it's just one case, and that one becomes two, and the two become four. I thought this would happen the moment you came back to the Ministry." He snatched Harry's arm again. "We are going home, now."
"I made a promise- "
"Your promise to me comes first," said Draco harshly. "We're at least friends, Harry, we said that. And how would you have responded if Ron or Hermione asked you to keep a promise you made to them instead of working? You would have done it, wouldn't you?"
Harry's eyes sparked, and he shoved Draco hard, pushing him several steps backward. Draco thought wandless magic might have had something to do with that, from the way Harry's hair danced in a stray current of wind.
"They weren't my friends in the same way," Harry hissed. "Don't you dare compare yourself to them, Malfoy. They would never have asked me what you did. They wouldn't have taken advantage of me the way you did. They- "
"I'm not taking advantage, I'm saving your goddamn life, Harry," Draco said. He had never been so angry. He wanted to draw his wand and Stun Harry, but he suspected that using any unauthorized magic in the Ministry was the way to bring down a dozen Aurors on him, so he refrained. "I care about you, I think I may be falling in love with you, and you accuse me of being the selfish one?"
The silence that followed was filled with the sound of heartbeats and nothing else. Harry's face was the color of raw lettuce.
Draco calmed his breathing. Well, he hadn't meant to say that, but it was out now, and he had always believed in living with what had happened instead of making useless efforts to repair it. Sometimes a quick Obliviate could fix things, and sometimes it couldn't. He watched Harry.
"You- " Harry brought his hand up to shield his face, a defensive maneuver that made Draco's chest ache even he wanted to shake the shit out of Harry. "I- just- no," Harry whispered. "This can't be happening."
"Oh, but it is, Potter." Draco stalked a step closer. "Obligations to other people scare you, don't they?"
"No." Harry snapped his head up, and now his face had some color again, if only in the form of a very deep flush. "I face them all the time, Malfoy. I take on cases that give other Aurors nightmares. I put people in Azkaban. I listen to stories that- "
"Personal obligations," Draco pointed out. "Roles that don't end when you close a file or go home for the night. Relationships that endure. You're scared of your feelings like some timid crying girl, Potter. And my emotions, too," he added more quietly. "You finally have a life again, and that frightens you more than facing down half a dozen Dark wizards."
"Shut up."
Harry's face had twisted, and he made a gesture with one palm held away from his body. Draco found himself unable to move or speak, and, for one terrifying moment, unable to breathe, as though invisible hands had pinched him over every square inch of skin. Then the pressure on his windpipe eased, and he gasped in and out, his eyes on Harry.
"This ends now," Harry said flatly. "I should have known it wouldn't work. I don't care what the fuck you feel for me." His eyes flickered, and Draco knew that was a lie, but Harry was desperately trying to believe it. "What I choose to do with my life is my decision. You were the one who kidnapped me and made me believe that- " He shook his head. "I don't know what I believed. I must have been mad these last few days. But the fact remains that I'm an Auror. That's what defines me, Draco. Saving people is what I do. And I made a promise. I'm coming back to my job."
He fixed his gaze steadily on Draco's face. "I wish you well in whatever you do. I won't be pressing charges of abduction. But I'm not coming back to the Manor."
Draco imagined all the work he'd gone through undone, and Harry tumbling back into the trap he'd just barely escaped. Inside a week, he'd be the gray man he had been, ignoring all his own emotions, responding at best with a vague smile to anything anyone said, and with no friends, no lovers, no one who cared for him just for him.
Except that that wasn't true, any more. It hadn't been true for the past few years, but Draco was the only one who'd known that, then. Now Harry should bloody well know that someone else cared about him, and he wasn't allowed to forget that, and Draco wasn't going to give up what he wanted just because Harry threw a few poisoned words at him.
He could feel a feral smile lifting the corners of his mouth, and Harry actually took a step back from him, even though Draco was the one bound and helpless, unable to draw his wand. Really, given that he was selfish and stubborn and had kidnapped Harry in the first place, as Harry so eloquently pointed out, it would be strange for him to back off now and respect Harry's supposed claims to his own supposed life.
"You think you're allowed to walk away without any consequences?" he asked, arching an eyebrow. "Hardly, Harry. You've seen how possessive I can be. And what do you think I'll do when my lover's trying to kill himself?"
"We're not lovers, and I'll attend to the concerns that you raised," said Harry. "Getting more rest and sleep, talking to someone, trying to have friends. You just can't be a part of that. And if you really cared about me, you would respect my wishes and walk away."
"You can manipulate like a Slytherin when you want to, Harry," Draco murmured, reluctantly impressed. "But you've never been friends with one before this. I know all the tricks. I know all the ways you'll try to make me back off. They're not going to work."
Harry shut his eyes and turned his head away. "I don't want this," he whispered. "I don't want you."
"Liar." Draco flexed his hand, and found he could move it, a little. The grip of Harry's wandless magic was easing as his emotions changed from anger to desperation. In a moment, Draco thought he could put his hand in his robe pocket, and draw out the bottle cap that waited there for emergencies like this one. "Things have changed, Harry, and they're never going to be the way they were."
"I want them to be." Harry snarled at him like a cat with its ears lying flat. "I might have saved you from Wormwood's curse, but that doesn't mean I actually prefer you to him."
Draco laughed then. "You can't even lie well to yourself, Harry," he said. "I know what it means that you saved me. I know what it means that you let me suck you off, when just a few days before you wouldn't let me touch you without protesting. And I know that you're not done healing." His hand suddenly slipped into his pocket, and he drew out the bottle cap. "And Harry?"
Harry snarled at him again.
"Catch."
Draco tossed the bottle cap. Harry had never overcome his Seeker instincts, that much was certain- or perhaps the last week in the Manor had lessened whatever Auror training told him not to grab flying objects. He snatched the Portkey from the air, and it sparkled and made him vanish.
Draco laughed quietly. That Portkey would take Harry to a heavily warded room in the Manor that was meant to be one of the last refuges of the Malfoy family in times of danger. Harry couldn't Apparate out, and his wandless magic might manage to take down the wards, but probably wouldn't before Draco could arrive.
He touched the second Portkey, the top button of his robes, and vanished, too. He had no illusions about Harry's feelings after this. Harry would be furious, raging, and probably give Draco quite the fight.
Draco was looking forward to it.
If the time ever comes that he's fully healed and wants to walk away from me, I'll allow that. Then. But he's acting like a child. And it's about time we had a proper duel.
