Sorry! Haven't updated in ages! But here is my new chapter. Hope you enjoy!
Twenty-Nine
April 14th
1: 35am
Helen had changed her mind. She didn't want to get off.
She wanted to stay.
With Thomas.
Helen turned to her daughter after kissing her baby boy goodbye, too young to properly understand what was happening, Beth kept asking Miss Lane, her governess, "Where's Daddy?".
The child held out her arms as Helen picked her up "Listen to me, darling, listen. You are going to be a big brave girl for me, aren't you?"
Beth nodded, not really knowing the meaning of the word, as Helen continued "You're going to be a good girl, for Mamma, and you're going to go on the boat, with Cathy and Miss Lane and Edward and wait until the ship is better".
"What about Daddy?" Beth asked.
"Sweetie…Daddy….." Helen trailed off, she swallowed hard "Mamma will find Daddy for you, yes, sweetie, you will see him in the morning". Pulling her daughters head to her chest, Helen kissed her child's downy hair and passed her back to Miss Lane.
"Ma'm, please, come with us" the young governess begged as she was shoved into the boat with other passengers.
Helen grabbed her hand just in time "Pray for my soul, Belinda, pray for me and Thomas. Look after the children for me and tell them…." She felt tears begin to fall "…..tell them Mamma will always love them!"
She gasped suddenly as she lost grip on Belinda's palm. She waved to her children and blew Beth kisses as people around her waved their loved ones off, for most probably the last time.
Henry ran a hand through thick black hair.
The steerage passengers had gotten through the gates thanks to a couple of rebellious individuals, and they had now flooded the starboard side.
Henry had the tough task of holding them back with little more than a hand pistol and a loud voice as Will crammed as many bodies as he could into one of the remaining lifeboats before the collapsible boats would have to be bought into action.
Henry did a double take when he noticed Ismay hurrying people into the boat. Was this for real? Or was it a scheme to make it look like he cared?
As Will turned to shout for any more, Henry's blood ran cold as he saw Ismay hob nimbly into the lifeboat. Henry opened his mouth to protest, but was surprised when no words came out. He follow Will with his eyes as the First Officer turned back to the waiting lifeboat.
Seeing Ismay, Will simply gave a deep sigh, raised his arms and said softly through frozen lips "Take them down!".
As Ismay was lowered beyond the boat deck, Henry could only gawp. Why had Will let him do that? Why?
Will turned as the boat was cast off, and walked solemnly up to Henry, "Why?" Henry asked "Why d'you let him go?".
Will sighed again "Henry, there's lives needing to be saved".
"Yeah, and his ain't one of them" Henry protested.
Will held his hands up defensively "I want to get on with my job, Henry, and I can't do that with Ismay around. So…" he shrugged as he moved onto the final solid lifeboat.
Henry shook his head, before turning back to the passengers, who had now flocked to where Will was tackling the davits.
The letters for his family were brushing his shirt. It tore at Henry's heart to think of his children's faces when a bundle of letters returned home rather than the father that they so cherished.
He closed his eyes.
He had to find her.
Helen was so desperate to find her husband that she had decided to run through the halls. Not caring who or what got in her way.
Bursting into their deserted stateroom, she found nothing to suggest her husband had been here recently. But she did find Beth's teddy bear. Picking up the scruffy animal, she placed it delicately in her shawl, keeping it safe for her daughter.
She had just gently closed her stateroom door when she finally spotted Thomas.
It was unmistakably him. Greying hair, white lifebelt strapped to his lean, long body.
He was shouting into a stateroom. But before Helen could reach him, she saw a flash of red, and all of a sudden, that Rose girl was talking to him.
She looked flustered, and Helen was still quite a distance from the two of them, so she let Rose give what looked like a garbled speech to her husband.
Thomas began to walk with her, talking to the girl in a low, soft voice.
Helen then decided to run. She needed to be held by him one last time; forever.
"Thomas!" Helen exclaimed as she ran up to him.
"Helen!" Thomas sounded surprised as he turned round suddenly to find his wife in front of him.
Catching her in his arms, he said "Hel…Helen…what…..what are you doing? You should be on the boat! Why aren't you with the children?".
He paused, "The children. Are the children on a lifeboat, Helen?" he asked bluntly, looking his wife in the eyes.
"YES!" Helen cried, "Yes, yes, yes. The children are in the boat, Thomas!".
"Then, why aren't you?" Thomas' voice was gentle, as he gripped her upper arms tightly.
"Because….because…because I want to die with you!" Helen spoke her mind.
Thomas' gaze fell past her face.
"See" she swallowed "I knew..I knew you weren't going to even try to escape, no matter what you told me…." She sobbed "No matter what you told our daughter!".
Thomas was close to crying himself as he said, his voice barely a whisper, "I have to stay. I caused this…this mess…I am the one responsible. Not you…Helen, not you" he ran a hand down Helen's soft cheek "You're going to listen to me, Helen, you're going to go up to the boat deck, find a boat, and get off this damned ship. If not for yourself…then, for me"
"I love you" Helen rasped, throwing herself into her husband's arms, as he held her, she mumbled "I will always always love you, Tommy, always". "I love you too, Helen" Thomas whispered, kissing her forehead "Don't you ever cry for me, will you?".
Helen had no reply to that, so she pulled away and looked her husband in the eyes. "I won't ever forget you, you'll always be here.." she pulled his hand up to her chest "Here, safely locked in my heart".
Thomas smiled, before his gaze was quickly transferred to someone beyond Helen.
"Officer" he said simply.
Helen closed her eyes as that voice once again melted her skin "Can I speak with Helen?"
Thomas flashed his gaze to Helen, who turned on her heel and said "How can I help, Henry?"
Henry nodded and aked "Can you do something, for me, Helen? Something very important".
Hope you all enjoyed. Next chapter will be out soon!
