Hitomi: Well, this is it. I don't know how I'm going to really feel about this chapter. I already know what's going to happen, but even so… *sad smile* Must it always turn out to be like this? Really. Sometimes, I feel bad for Rue because of putting her through all sorts of pain. It's difficult to write it, actually, especially on what will unfold in this chapter…
But if she won't give up; then, I won't either. Because in order to achieve something yourself, there has to be some sacrifices at hand. And so, this is her sacrifice as an Exorcist.
But, I'll give you guys a tiny hint (without spoiling it) in case all of you will start crying or start getting sad on me by the time you're up to that point in the chapter: it won't end like you think it will.
That Reminiscent Sky/ViLollipop – Wow, first reviewer~ XD Well, I did tell you ahead of time that I was done, so, of course you'd be the one to review first. Hmmm, I was surprised at the change of your penname, but I do find it cute. *coughs* Yes, THAT Akuma did it; yes, it did. Which is why a certain someone (you already know who *coughs*) is going to kill him off later as some sort of retribution… I couldn't let Rue be done with the mission without telling Jericho and Claire anything, right? At least I should give her that much, given after all she's been through. But yeah… *teary-eyed* I don't like the prospect either, but what can I do? But, even though it's like this… They still have a shot to be a family again (and the hint I gave you above says all). Yep; even though Lavi's not around, Rue still writes in the exchange diary to update on her Exorcist missions and her every day life, so he can enjoy reading it when he comes back. It was fun making Deja do a little something, even if it's something like serving as a flashlight for Rue when she's writing.
Midnight Hikari – Ah?! I made you cry?! Sorry, sorry! But, I really did feel that saying no was something Rue would do since she wants to protect those close to her from danger at all costs. Glad to hear Edina is slowly getting better. XD She's still going to be a bitch, but I do want her to be nice at some point. And oooh… I really HAD to put that in! XD It was really funny to have Edina go into such a shock, finding out Rue was female all along… Whoa, you have Claire in your name?! o_o This is a surprise. Mmm, it's an option for Jericho to be a Finder if Claire becomes an Exorcist, just as long as he doesn't leave Claire's side (and Rue's too). Although, as you see, Claire's Innocence shattered… Buuut, that doesn't mean things are over between the siblings just yet. You'll see. All right, then, I'll take my time reading you story and reviewing it when I get the chance.
Soulless Ghosty – Yes, the ending made it clear that Claire's Innocence was destroyed. Also, I did that on purpose, but I said this chapter won't end the way it will, even though Claire's Innocence is gone. And in the summary, I said Chapters 1 through 20 are BEFORE the DGM timeline, which means it's all before Allen comes into the Black Order (hence why you see he's absent until Chapter 21 of Unravel). Actually, Rue's solo mission (AKA what I've been writing this whole time) is DURING the Rewinding Town Arc, which means Lavi will pop in soon. As in REALLY SOON.
Heartbringer – X3 Nice to hear that you love Chapter 14. XD That had to be one of my favorite chapters to write also (then again, I'm proud of this whole story so far). Thanks for reviewing and adding this story to your favourites!
*sniff* Oooh, I am so not going to like this, but the show must go on.
Disclaimer: I do not own D . Gray-Man, Hoshinou Katsura-sensei does. The only thing(s) I do own in here would be my OC(s).
Unravel
XXIX
Failure, Sacrifice, and Hope
[Two birds with one stone.
I failed my duties as an Exorcist
And I have to leave someone precious behind again.
What do I have to do to prove to everyone, and to myself, my worth?
How many more times do I have to say goodbye?
But, I mustn't give up… I mustn't give up just yet…]
Once the Innocence on Claire's tarot tome shattered, the cross on the front cover faded as if it never existed. Upon seeing that, Rue had a sinking feeling in her stomach, the strong sentiment of chastisement ready to be taken out into her thoughts. The Innocence fading just like that in an instant was a bad sign for her, especially for her, because of being a professional Exorcist. Mistakes happen, but sometimes, you'll pay the price for it.
But, there was another thing that got her stomach in knots. With the Innocence gone, that chance was slipping away into nothingness…
While all of them were horrified that the Innocence was gone, there were other matters to focus at hand.
Like the Akuma, for instance.
After the Innocence was gone, Rue had stayed quiet the whole time, not saying anything. When it came to battle, her face was blank of emotion, composed as if nothing was wrong. However, one could feel a heavy aura from her, a foreboding one at that. Her fists were still raised up and clenched tightly, preparing for battle, feet shifting into position. Or, from what it looked like, ready to lunge at her opponent and tear it to shreds.
So, the Innocence is gone… Just like that, it's gone. She was still shocked on what happened, cursing under her breath for it. Who else to blame but herself? Your first solo mission as an experienced Exorcist and you've already failed your objective of this assignment. Not only that, but because you ended up telling your siblings the truth on who you really are since your younger sister was a possible accommodator, a potential Exorcist… With the Innocence gone…
Trying not to listen to the conclusion of her thoughts, she already made her move without thinking, running towards the Akuma at full speed ahead. Something was born inside her again, but everything was burning within her body this time like she had been shook to the very core. The adrenaline, the blood, all of it was racing, never stopping, refusing to surrender to the sentimental part of her. At this, she realized what the emotion was, but she refused to admit it. She already knew what she planned to do with feeling and that was to suppress it. Grounding her teeth in what could be conveyed as pent up frustration towards everything, most especially herself, Deathtrap and Lifeline were already on the go to eliminate the enemy.
You'll have to be apart again…
Shut up.
You'll have to separate again…
Shut up.
And because of that, you'll probably never see them a—
SHUT UP!
No hesitation, no indecision, no delay. Punch after punch, the elements at her aid, whether emotions or not were involved in their invocation. Such intensity and focus in her fighting skill, despite the bottled emotions being tossed in inner turmoil. What she refused to say out loud only came out from within her fists. There was no way Rue was going to give any mercy towards this Akuma at all; no, not at all, after it had just destroyed her chances of what she had been seeking all of this time: the chance to become a family again with her only siblings.
It had already pushed her to the edge.
"So, this one really does pack a punch just as the Millennium Earl said!" It shrilled with glee. Though giving no response, hearing the Millennium Earl's name only fuelled her hardened resolve to eliminate this particular creature. No response, just continuously going with one fist and the other, focusing on the hits and misses of her strikes. "Hehe, this is going to be so much fun!"
Now that Claire's Innocence is gone, I can't afford to get injured now. All of this time, the Water Card had healed me, but now, I can't afford to take risks. She thought calculatedly with a determined look to her, summoning the earth from the ground with Deathtrap and giving her enemy a quick jab with her rock covered fist. Though, in retaliation, she was struck in the face with the Akuma's straps, causing a bruise and a cut to appear on her cheek. If I get wounded in this battle, it'll hinder me on my next mission. So, I better take as little injury as possible and eliminate this one soon.
When this is over… A brief flash of pain was in Rue's eyes, but it had gone under an icy glare. She refused, strongly refused, to acknowledge whatever it was in her heart. No. Defeat the enemy. Take it down.
While keeping a safe distance from the skirmish, the rest of the group were lost into their own thoughts. The sudden turn of events had silenced them into such a shock and a heavy, negative aura surrounded them soon after. The inevitable was near once Rue was done with her objective – if there was an objective in this mission anymore. And they all wondered what she could be feeling at this moment.
"Rue…" Jericho murmured his sister's name in an uncertain whisper, watching her fight and claw her way through the Akuma; struggling but not holding back. He kept his eyes, his sad eyes, on her, unsure of what to make of what she thought deep inside.
Toma sighed dejectedly, a forlorn look on him as he spoke, "I may not know what she's thinking about right now, but… She must be upset. Really upset. Just look at her fighting now. She may be thinking it through, but she's being rather reckless."
"Yeah," Armando interjected coolly, his eyes hardened with an unreadable face as he addressed Jericho. "Rue really wanted you and Claire to be with her. The whole time she had been on this mission, she was wondering if it was all right to tell you two the truth of her being your sister. If this wasn't an Innocence case and Claire wasn't a potential Exorcist… She wouldn't have told you."
"That's right." Edina nodded firmly in agreement with a serious frown. "She wouldn't have told you in order to protect you two from the Millennium Earl. That way, when the war would be over, though we can only wonder when that'll ever be, she could go back to you guys, so you could be a family again. Now that she had told you guys of her being involved with the Black Order and being your sister, she may be blaming herself later for getting you involved with our affairs. True, it couldn't be helped that Claire would've been an Exorcist due to her powers, but… You already know what we told you days ago, right? Of how Akuma were made and that being why Exorcists—or anyone in the Black Order—aren't allowed to contact their loved ones once they get involved with the holy war?"
The oldest Marucut sibling nodded warily, remembering being told the dark, sinister truth of it; of Akuma being born when someone wishes a loved one to come back to life, the wisher's body being made a host for their loved one's revival.
"She still may not know what some emotions are due to mysterious circumstances of her life before the Black Order…" This earned the female Finder a confused frown from Jericho, who just realized that, upon hearing this, he hadn't asked Rue how she lived her life before getting involved with the Black Order. Then again, he hadn't told her how he and Claire had been living for the past twelve years either "But, in this way, even though she can come off as cold… I know Rue cares about you and Claire a lot."
Only Claire had been silent during the conversation, just listening, her head bowed. As she continued to hear their voices, she clutched her tarot book close to herself, giving it a tender squeeze. She had tried to pull herself together about this, but no avail. The tears were already silently streaking down her face and she didn't bother lifting her hands to wipe her eyes. How unbearable it was to think of, going through the pain of separation again. A twelve-year-old shouldn't go through such pain like this.
But, the young were never spared from pain either.
I don't what hardships you went through without us there for you, Ate Rue. When I first met you a few days ago, I felt the unspoken feelings within you. Though I had felt intimidation—and familiarity—from you, I also sensed other things. Claire felt a hard lump forming in her throat, a sign that she was holding back her sobs. I felt reluctance and loneliness from you too. While you had put up a cold front, there was no denying that you felt that way for a long time. All along when I'd observe you before you told Kuya Jericho and I the truth, you had a look on you that told me that you really wanted to be there for us after being absent from our lives for so long. She bit her lip, the tears not stopping. At first, when feeling your hesitation and solitude, I didn't know why I felt that because I didn't know you were really my Ate. Now, I know…
The Innocence being gone… Does this mean we have to be away from each other again? Our reunion only took this long? Twelve years of separation, but only a week to make up for it?
Please, don't go…
With a cut face and a bloody lip later, once Rue was about to strike the Akuma down with a blazing Lifeline, after finding an opening, it had wrapped her in its bondage—tentacles?—ribbons to trap her in place. She tried to struggle, as she always did, but it was no use. The grip was too constricting; a tight, suffocating bind with no way out. Only then in this moment did she notice what the Akuma looked like.
Her face slipped into its default, stony expression, her eyes giving away the slightest hint of annoyance. She didn't seem surprised of what form it took, if she ever did feel that way to begin with. Suffocation aside, she concentrated her unnerving stare on her opponent, only a single eyebrow raised.
Can't the Millennium Earl do any better than this? Really, is it trying to put me off of food?
"…I'm sorry, but I can't seem to take you seriously, now that I've seen you up close and personal." Rue remarked bluntly, looking very bored, making her group stare at her in shock. The Akuma, having not expected that, was offended at this, squeezing its foe all the tighter.
"What do you mean you 'can't take me seriously,' huh?!" It snarled with venom, looking quite livid. "I'm an Akuma and you're an Exorcist, what does it matter what appearance I take?! This is a crucial moment of life and death at hand and you mean to tell me that you're bored?! What gives?!"
"Well, it's because you're just nothing but a pile of noodles." She was correct on that one: the Akuma did look like a pile of noodles, minus the fact it actually had a face. The pasta was thin and gray, complete with a hot broth on it, quite befitting for the cold weather that was slowly growing stronger day by day. There were even toppings on it like tempura and shredded seaweed strips. The Exorcist caught a whiff of a delicious aroma in the air, which, to no surprise, came from the monster she was fighting. The creature smelled like it was most especially prepared, created, with utmost care; like its non-animated delicacies, it had the smell of its ingredients. Now, if ONLY it settled on a platter of sorts, complete with chopsticks and tea…
And despite themselves, the rest of them had their kicks out of this. Toma looked faintly amused, Armando was trying to keep a straight face, and Edina was already on the ground and rolling with laughter. Jericho cracked a grin and even Claire, despite the tears she shed, couldn't help but snicker.
"So what?!"
"I just can't take you seriously. Honestly, I feel like the culinary world is cursing me today for whatever bad thing I did in the kitchen last time." She recalled all of it in faint reminiscence; her cooking mishaps under Riley's supervision, Jerry instructing her with discipline and kindness when it came to the kitchen, everything. "First, fighting that Gummy Bear Akuma who had sweets as its arsenal; now, you. What's next, a roasted pig? Or a jelly blob?"
This aggravated the Soba Akuma further, its pasta-like body binding Rue tightly to make her suffocate. It didn't help that the broth it had seeped into her Exorcist cloak, which would really raise questions back in the Black Order once they smell her because they may draw into the conclusion that she bathed herself in soup. While she admitted to herself that she was feeling pain, she still kept a straight face, pushing the Akuma to the limits of its anger.
Note to self: when going back to the Black Order, have Jerry prepare Kanda's soba from now on until I'm calm enough to prepare noodles again. She mused dryly with a sigh, hoping she would never explain this predicament to her cooking teacher unless she wanted to be the butt of the jokes that would surely be made from this.
The Akuma took an opportunity to get out numerous forks, five of them. Though Rue had been able to burn the noodles off, they were able to regenerate themselves. She tried it again with the other elements, the process repeated.
Damn. I'm really stuck here. And I'm immobilized top to bottom. For thin noodles, they're too strong. What should I do?
"Rue…!" Jericho was about to enter the fray, come what may with the risk, sword out in hand. But, he stopped once he caught his sister's eye.
"Don't." Rue gasped out, her breathing taking effort. "Don't, Kuya…"
"But! You're going to die if you stay like that!"
"I'm all right." There was a warm look in her eyes, the icy mask off. "As long as you don't die for my sake, I'll be all right…"
"Rue…" Feeling a tug on his cloak, he looked back to see a serious Claire. "Claire…?"
"Don't worry… Ate Rue has been able to take care of herself all of this time when we were all separated." There was a small smile on her lips. "So, she'll be able to get out of this."
But… Claire had other thoughts. How will she get out of that? If she does stay like that, she'll have a hard time breathing and she'll put herself in grave danger…
"Heh, a martyr, are you?" The Akuma smirked darkly, giving one stab in her shoulder, and Rue clenching her teeth to not let out her pain. "That makes my job easier, then!"
It stabbed another fork onto her waist and another onto her stomach. She bit back another cry of pain, but she was coughing violently because of the noodles cocooning her body, blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. Her siblings and the Finders called out to her in worry, but they knew they couldn't do anything for they didn't have the sufficient power to eliminate Akuma.
Shit… I can't… I…!
Before the Soba Akuma could stab a fork into her heart, something had cut the two other forks and the rest of the pasta tying Rue up. She fell to the ground with a thud, breathing deeply for air and pulling the utensils out of her skin.
"What…? Who…?"
"Che, you really are foolish, shorty."
She looked up with wide eyes, seeing a familiar, sullen face. She caught a flash of black and saw a black blade nearby.
"K-Kanda?"
"Tch. Who else would it be?"
"The Tiedoll unit?" Toma murmured in faint surprise. "What are they doing here?"
"Looks like they had a mission of their own." Armando concluded. "Good; at least Rue has allies to help her now."
She stood up to her feet, her steps a little wobbly. As she was about to fall, she felt someone catch her in their arms and support her up. She looked to who it was and it was another recognizable face, which was frowning with worry.
"Daisya…"
"Looks like you got roughened up a bit, tomboy." He remarked seriously, ruffling her hair. "Hang in there, you don't look too good."
"How'd you guys find me?"
"I could hear your battle when we were getting close to this area." Marie answered calmly, patting her head. "And also, a certain guide helped us…"
Pointing to a direction in the sky, Rue followed his hand to find a certain, gray ball. The golem flew down to perch onto her/its mistress's head.
"Deja?"
"While you were battling and got yourself in trouble, Deja must've escaped to alert us. Well, I don't know how it found us to begin with." Daisya explained, recalling on how they came to be here. "I think it must've sensed us or seen us, so we were surprised to find it alone. Once we spotted the golem on its own, it meant that you were in trouble, so we hurried here as soon as possible."
"I see…"
"Oooh, more Exorcists to play with and destroy! Very entertaining, I'll say!" The Akuma cried out with glee as Kanda's Mugen was trying to slice through the noodles. At the moment, Kanda had cast Double Illusion Blades, his sheath turned into an energy sword, so he had two sharp weapons at his arsenal. But each slice he made had the noodles renewing, even making more multiples of noodles in its place.
"Che, annoying bastard." Kanda scoffed, cutting off the noodles with all of his might. "Why don't you just die?!"
"That's impossible." A fork had been lodged into his stomach; then, a noodle whipped his face and cutting his cheek, sending him to the ground. "For that I am immortal as you can see. No matter how much you try to cut my body, it'll just keep restoring itself."
"Kanda!" Rue shouted in alarm, ready to join into the fight, but she felt herself about to collapse again.
"O-Oy!" Daisya cried out, holding her once more. "You can't enter the battle! Not in the condition you're in!"
"No, Daisya. As an Exorcist, and this being my mission in the first place, I've to complete it. And Kanda, being my teammate and rival, is in trouble right now." She disengaged from the other Exorcist's hold, Deathtrap and Lifeline glowing. "I'm off, then. I'll be back."
He was about to protest, but she had already run off.
"There's no stopping her, Daisya." Marie commented with a slight smile. "Still, we should help them."
"Hell yeah, I'm not letting those two have all of the fun!" Daisya remarked boastfully with a wide grin, the two of them entering the battlefield to help their teammates.
A s forks were thrown in the air, targeting Kanda and the others, Rue made a rising motion with Lifeline to the ground, sending up an earth wall to block the assaults. She, then, punched the ground with Deathtrap, fire columns beckoned from the cracked earth. While the Soba Akuma took damage from that, it looked like it escaped without a scratch, merely shaking off the ashes. Taking an opportunity with an opening, Daisya kicked the Charity Bell and sent it flying in the atmosphere, Resonance sending sound waves all around as Kanda's Mugen called upon Hell's Insects to assist. Marie had Noel Organon on the ready, wrapping the wires around the Akuma and slicing through it. But, no matter how much damage the Akuma took, it constantly repaired itself, healing the wounds it had received from the four.
"Son of a bitch…" Daisya growled under his breath, launching Charity Bell again while getting a fork into his shoulder. "And I thought Zero was annoying!"
"Tsk,." Kanda was annoyed, still intending to hack the Akuma to bits, no matter what. "Why won't the stupid idiot just die?!"
Think of a plan, Rue. Think. She pondered, her brain racking on ideas. Wait… I got it!
"Guys, this Akuma has the ability to regenerate itself every time we cause damage." Rue pointed out, making the three listen to what she had to say. "So, in order to destroy it, we'll have to do it in one go."
"And how are we going to do that?" Kanda gave her a skeptical look. "If you alone couldn't defeat it…"
"Be quiet, Yuuri." She snapped back at him, causing Daisya to laugh and Marie to smile slightly while Kanda turned red from embarrassment and anger. "Anyway, I've a plan in mind. I'll tell you when we go with it."
"And you're going to do that how…?" Daisya looked doubtful.
"Well, you're also Exorcists with abilities. You'll see."
All four of them decided to rush in, going at close proximity to the Soba Akuma.
"What? All four of you are going to take me on?" The Akuma was amused, launching its attacks. "How many times do I have to repeat myself that I'm immortal and you'll never be able to defeat me?!"
"Marie, now!" Rue shouted out loud. With a quick nod, he whipped out his wires and had immobilized the Akuma. Just when it thought he was going to slice through its body again, it was wrong.
"Verse of the Saint!" He clapped his hands, music playing on the strings. Cherubs were created from the music, dancing and playing around the powerless Akuma.
"WHAT!?" It was paralyzed now. The Akuma tried tugging at the strings, but it was no use getting out.
"Daisya!"
"Got it!" He kicked the Charity Bell, making a hole through the Akuma, who screamed in anguish. "Resonance!" Sound waves pulsed out from the bell, giving more damage.
"Kanda."
"Che, already way ahead of you. Hakka Tourou!" Still in the Double Illusion Blades technique, Kanda lunged to the Akuma and gave eight, powerful, devastating blows with both blades. By now, the Akuma was still shrieking in torment, unsure of how much more it could take.
"F-Foolish Exorcists!" It shouted in rage, despite being hacked in numerous, little pieces, ready to rejuvenate itself once more. "I'll get all of you for this, so prepare to meet your d—"
"Fool." The sentence had been cut off as Rue summoned an inferno from both gloves to burn what remained of the Akuma. Another wail of torment was heard, along with cursing the Exorcists; then, no more. When the fire died down, there was nothing left of the Akuma, not even its ashes.
* * *
After the battle, the Exorcists had regrouped with the Finders and Rue's siblings and they were walking on the way to the train station. From what had been explained to them and Rue, the rest of the Tiedoll unit had been out from the Black Order because Komui had given them a new mission: to search for General Tiedoll and protect him. When Rue had asked why, it was because General Yeegar had been crucified and killed in Belgium. Like General Tiedoll, he, too, had been on a journey to search for new Exorcists. But, when he had been assassinated, nine anti-Akuma weapons—including his own—were stolen after that. So, Komui had assigned the Exorcists in Black Order H.Q. to guard the remaining Exorcists Generals – yes, including the missing General Cross Marian.
"When Komui told us you had a solo mission in Austria, we happened to be in Switzerland that time, trying to find leads on General Tiedoll." Daisya told Rue, kicking the Charity Bell around as if practicing his soccer. "So, we decided to go look for you, though we didn't have a clue where to look since Austria's a big country. But then, we ended up finding Deja flying over to us and looking frantic, which told us you had a little trouble on your hands."
"I see." Hearing General Yeegar dying had Rue's blood turn cold, but she still kept a calm face. "So, we have to find General Tiedoll…"
"Yeah." He frowned as he saw Rue's face. It was blank of emotion, her eyes looked dull. "Oy, you okay?"
She didn't answer him, just kept her eyes up ahead. This only made him worry more.
When arriving at the train station, things seemed to have gone under a silent tension. The Finders, Jericho, and Claire had noticed Rue had gone quiet amongst the conversation they were having with the rest of the Tiedoll unit. While Marie and Daisya already knew Rue was like that, still, they had sensed something amiss. Even Kanda, too, sensed something wrong with her; but, he had stopped thinking of that once he had seen it as weakness.
As they waited for the train, it was then the three siblings had decided to talk amongst themselves, far from earshot from the other people.
"So…" Jericho gazed at his younger sister, pain and sadness in his eyes. "So, you're leaving with your comrades to find your teacher."
Rue only nodded silently as her reply.
"From what it sounded like, a new evil had arisen, aside from the Millennium Earl, but it still has to do with the holy war."
She nodded again.
"Does… Does it really have to be like this?"
When hearing that, Rue couldn't look into her older brother's eyes. Seeing her hard gaze at the ground with her clenched fists had given away her answer.
"Do you… Really have to go…?" She looked up again when hearing the whispering, shaking voice of her younger sister, who appeared between her and Jericho. From up close, it looked like she had been crying again, tears going down in twin streams. "Ate Rue…"
"…I have to." She finally answered after a long time, her voice hoarse, her eyes latched firmly onto her siblings now with a strong resolve. "That is the duty of an Exorcist. We'll… We'll have to…"
Separate. Once again, we'll be torn apart, just like before.
"Just…" Her breath hitched sharply, already feeling a strong pain in her heart, disregarding the sentence she stopped herself from completing. "Just wait for me, okay?"
Rue hugged her sister, resting her head on top of her own, looking lost in thought. At the gesture, she could feel Claire hug back tightly, delicate fingers clutching her Exorcist coat, sniffling as she did. Jericho approached them slowly, reluctantly, taking both of his sisters in his arms to give them—and himself—comfort. He wasn't crying as his face was dry, but his eyes revealed an immense heartbreak in them. They stayed like that for a long time. The Finders saw this, giving them the privacy they needed. The Exorcists, however, had no clue what was going on between the three, so they hoped Rue would give them an explanation later on.
Then, the inevitable; all of them heard the train roll in, the horn tooting and the wheels screeching because of stopping on the tracks. The Marucut siblings pulled away, in that slow, reluctant way. As the Tiedoll unit boarded the train, with Rue about to follow in, Jericho and Claire stopped her for even just a moment.
"Before you go…" Jericho handed her back her—no, their—father's pocket watch, squeezing her hand gently. "Here. There's something I've put inside there, so make sure to look at it when you go inside the train."
Rue felt a tight hug from her waist, looking back to see Claire smiling sadly with her tears.
"Take care of yourself, Ate. And don't worry… Kuya Jericho and I know that you still have something to do, so… It's okay. Just as long as you stay alive…"
"You take care of yourself too, Claire." She patted her sister's head, wiping her tears with a gloved hand. "Don't cry… We'll see each other again."
"Do you promise?"
"…Yes." A warm light was in Rue's eyes. "I promise to come back alive."
"Don't push yourself, squirt." Jericho murmured softly, messing up her hair and kissing her forehead, an action that still made Rue flustered.
"I won't, Kuya." She nodded, squeezing his hand. "Take care of yourself and watch over Claire too."
The train horn boomed loudly in the platform, signalling the departure.
"All right, I'll be going now, Kuya, Claire. And it's not a goodbye… It's a see you later." Then, she nodded to the Finders in appreciation, to which they responded with smiles. "Armando, Edina, and Toma; thank you guys for assisting me on this case, it was a lot of help because there was a lot of work involved. Make sure to come back safely to the Black Order, okay? *Ingat kayo."
Jericho gave her a casual salute, smiling wryly as he did, while Claire waved goodbye with a wide smile as if masking her feelings. Rue gave a little wave, turning away from them and going into the train. As she entered inside, she leaned against the door and bowed her head, not moving for a long time, even when the train had already moved on the tracks. She didn't know how long she had stayed like that, but she had gotten up and walked to the first class section, where her companions were most likely waiting.
Entering quietly, she closed the door shut, her bangs into her eyes. The Tiedoll unit didn't seem to be surprised when she had finally stepped inside or maybe they had noticed her delay as Daisya was about to remark that it took her long enough to come in; but seeing the emotional state Rue was in clamped his mouth shut. Marie said nothing, but he had sensed something from Rue, but he had no idea what. Kanda merely looked up, but he frowned, feeling a little bothered about her – but, he still shrugged it off, telling himself that how the shorty acted was none of his business.
Daisya tried to approach her, to ask her what was on her mind, but Rue only shook her head at him. He knew what that meant: it meant that Rue either didn't want to talk about her issue or she wanted to be alone for a while; maybe it was both. So, he only nodded to her in response, giving her space, but not before squeezing her shoulder. She nodded, feeling Daisya's unspoken support soothing her, and she gave him a brief hug in gratitude. Marie only patted her head, a gesture that seemed to have calmed her down because of its unspoken reassurance, though she still felt dejected. Even so, she held his arm briefly, trying to tell him in her own way a thank you.
When she entered another compartment in the first class, she sat down in the chair and tended to her wounds from the medical items in her pouch, letting the silence envelop her. Remembering what Jericho said, she gazed at the pocket watch, reflecting for a moment. Then, she opened it.
And what she saw in there made her feel a lot of things, things that she was still unable to describe.
The portrait of her parents still remained where it was. However, there was another picture in front of it. A portrait of Zack and Cecilia was there, but there was a big change in it. All three of the siblings were in there, making it a family picture. Claire, who was an infant at the time, was held in Cecilia's arms. In front of the parents was a happy eleven-year-old Jericho, who was hugging a smiling three-year-old Rue.
Rue wasn't sure what to think anymore, the emotions inside her intensifying, tucking the watch into her shorts pocket.
Why do I feel like this now? Why? She felt a lump rising in her throat, which was hard to swallow down. I don't know what to do… It feels just like…
A certain person popped into mind, the smiling face of Lavi.
Just like that time when Lavi was gone. What… She chuckled a bitter laugh to herself, her hands covering her face. Am I lonely again?
"…Deja."
The golem popped out from her hair, giving her a confused and concerned look.
"Contact Sir Komui. I need to talk to him. If we can't reach him in Black Order H.Q., we'll have to transmit the message to Allen's golem, Timcampy."
* * *
Going around Germany due to Timcampy's vague sense of direction on General Cross's whereabouts, Allen, Lenalee, Komui, Bookman, and Lavi were on another train, talking about what happened in regards of General Yeegar's assassination, every Exorcist in the Black Order guarding the Exorcist Generals, the Noah family, and the Heart. However, it looked like Timcampy had a message for he/it wouldn't stop flying around.
"What's up with you, Tim?" A confused Allen asked as he held out his hands, letting the golden golem perch on them. As if answering the question, he/it pointed to an equally puzzled Komui.
"Huh?" He pointed to himself. "Me?"
It nodded.
"Maybe it's a message?" Lenalee wondered if that was the reason Timcampy was moving around so much. "And if that's the case, who's it from?"
"Maybe from Kanda or someone from H.Q." Komui took the golem from Allen and spoke to him/it. "Hello? Komui speaking."
At first, silence on the other side, though he could hear background sounds of another train. But he finally heard her voice, which was barely above a whisper. On top of that, it sounded rather weary, despite the calm tone she was trying to keep in place.
"…Sir Komui…"
This worried him, recognizing the voice at once.
"Rue?" This had shocked the rest of them in the compartment. Allen was bursting to say something, likewise with Lenalee, but they kept quiet. Bookman looked mildly surprised, but it had disappeared just as it came. But, Lavi looked like he was the most stunned of them all, but he was trying hard not to show it.
Rue? He thought with numb shock, his heart hammering like crazy. Countless thoughts were racing in his mind; out of anticipation, anxiety, excitement, hope, and perhaps even longing. Could it be…?
Yeah. Deak affirmed with an indifferent voice. It's her. It's been a long time, a year and some, since hearing the kid's voice. Wonder what happened to her, though.
"What happened?" Komui was urgent, pressing. "Are you all right? Did the mission go okay?"
Another lapsing silence, which had made all of them at the edge of their seats with suspense, anxiety, and confusion, wondering what could've gone wrong.
Then, he heard it. They all heard it.
"…Fail…"
"Rue…?"
"I… I failed my mission… I…" A thick gulp could be heard when she spoke, along with the shortness of breath and, surprisingly, a cracked voice. It was like she was having difficulty speaking. "I couldn't protect the Innocence… I can't call myself an Exorcist, not when I'm like this… And I…"
They heard another gulp, her breath shaking. At this, Komui wondered what she could be thinking right now as she needed someone to talk to. Could she be shaken because of the reality of her profession? Could she be feeling pain, emotional pain? Could she even be scolding herself for not being a competent Exorcist like she should be, like she was supposed to be?
"I had to leave them behind… I had to leave my siblings behind again…"
"Rue…" Komui murmured gently, his worried eyes melting into sadness, understanding why she was in such a state. Of course he understood her completely on being separated from loved ones, having been apart from Lenalee himself for a long period of time until he entered the Black Order as Supervisor for her sake. His gaze flicked upwards to Allen and Lenalee and he nodded silently, he was telling them to be there for her.
"Hey, Rue?" Allen spoke gently, taking Timcampy from the supervisor. "It's me, Allen. Lenalee's with me too."
"Yep, I'm here, Rue." Lenalee addressed her friend through the golem, looking concerned. "You sound awful."
"Allen, Lenalee…" Rue paused, pondering on what to say next. She managed to speak again, each word difficult to speak than the last; a throaty, bitter laugh coming out with them. "Yes, you're right. I'm not well at all. I feel… Lost, hollow. I think you know why since you guys are with Sir Komui and overheard it."
Allen laughed nervously and Lenalee grinned sheepishly at this.
"It's fine, it's not like I'm angry at you guys for hearing me talk to Sir Komui, anyway." Obviously, they couldn't tell what facial expression she had on her, but they could already imagine her giving a casual shrug. "All I needed was someone to talk to."
"That's okay." Allen reassured her, smiling slightly. "You can talk to us anytime since you do have a golem of your own, after all."
The golem I made for her. Lavi thought smugly, satisfied that making Deja was a perfect present for Rue.
"Yeah, Rue. We may not be there by your side, but whether we're near or far… We're still your friends." Lenalee said encouragingly. "So, don't hesitate when you need to talk to us."
She's lonely and feeling self-loathing towards herself. Lavi mused with a slight frown, feeling his heart squeeze at the thought. That's probably why she sounds like this. Damn it, if only I could talk to her right now and tell her everything will be all right…
But, you can't. Deak warned him. The old man is with you right now, so it's risky if you try making contact with her. Wait a bit longer since it sounds like you're going to cross paths with her sooner or later. Talk to her when Bookman's not around.
The Bookman apprentice only sighed in defeat, knowing that the alter ego was right. Bookman gave him a questioning look, but decided not to press on the matter.
Besides, he was starting to tease him, but only for the sake of humiliating the 49th persona on the spot. I know you want to see her in person, so be a bit more patient.
Shut up, Deak. Lavi growled back, wounding the orange scarf closer to his face, so he can hide the blush that was blooming. It's because I haven't seen her for a year, so it can't be helped.
Sure, that's what they all say~
"I feel a little better now… Thank you, Allen, Lenalee, Sir Komui." Rue's voice sounded a bit lighter, though it still held a hint of doubt. However, there was a dry chuckle from her. "Heh, I can't help but feel strange about this…"
"Huh?" Allen and Lenalee were puzzled at this. "Why?"
"Well, it's because I'm coming to you guys like this when I should be shouldering this on my own. I would've gone to Daisya and Marie, but I wouldn't know what to say to them."
"You don't need to say anything, Rue." Komui finally spoke in a kind voice, knowing how close she was to her unit. "You already know those two understand you well enough since they've been your teammates for two years. The days when I see you looking discouraged, they're always by your side, even though you're not saying your feelings out loud. And… Whether he wants to admit or not, even Kanda could understand you since you guys are pretty much the same."
She snorted in disbelief, though this was to be expected. This was definitely the Rue they all knew when it came to the topic of her rival.
"Hah, the day Kanda understands me will be the day that we'll become best friends. And we all know that's not going to happen any time soon, if ever." Lenalee giggled at this, Allen and even Lavi, despite himself, were grinning widely at this. Komui only shook his head, though he couldn't help but feel amused. Bookman, while keeping his face neutral, had both eyebrows slightly raised.
"So, don't worry." Though there seemed to be a sly grin on Komui's face. "If I find you doubting yourself again, I'm definitely putting you in a dress the next Christmas party."
All of them could hear Rue going in a violent coughing fit at such a proposal. Perhaps, she was drinking something this and hearing that threat made her choke. Lenalee shook her head, giving Komui a disapproving frown. Allen looked out of it, maybe because the thought of Rue being in a dress was a bizarre mental image; he couldn't see her in such clothing at all. Lavi chuckled to himself, knowing Rue well enough on how awkward she felt towards femininity in general.
"Don't even think about it, Sir Komui." There was a low growl in her cold voice, sending chills down everyone's spines. "Or do you want to meet the daggers again?"
"I-I was only kidding! Don't kill me!"
"Hmph, I thought that'd make you change your mind. Anyway, since we're looking for General Tiedoll, I'll get some sleep. It's been a long day and I need to rest up." To emphasize, they heard Rue yawn. "I received injuries in the solo mission, but I'll be fine. Getting some sleep should calm my nerves and prepare myself to battle Akuma with all of my strength. So, goodbye to you guys for now."
The call disconnected, leaving everyone to their own thoughts. Lenalee gave Lavi a quizzical look, asking him with her eyes why he didn't talk to Rue. Or maybe she already knew why, but she was still compelled to question it to make sure.
However, the Bookman apprentice only shrugged to her unspoken question, focusing his glance to the train's windows to look at the scenery.
It's all right if Rue didn't know Lavi was with Allen and Lenalee, it's all right if he didn't talk to her directly.
He could wait. If he had waited for a year; then, it wouldn't kill him to wait a little longer.
They would surely meet soon.
* * *
Back in Austria, they all remained there at the train station. The Finders, Jericho, and Claire; they still stayed there. The Finders looked sympathetic, unsure on how to comfort the siblings. Claire just stood where she was, her long hair obscuring her face, but they suspected when seeing her head bowed down, she was hiding her tears. Jericho looked depressed, his eyes filled with hurt, and he paced about with stress.
"It can't end like this…" He muttered seriously, clenching and unclenching his fists, his mouth a thin line. "It can't end like this for us… No… I won't let it!"
He punched a nearby pole, causing the Finders to jolt with shock from his outburst. They all took a glimpse of his face: it looked angry, upset, and determined all at once.
"Claire."
"What, Kuya?" Her voice was thick with sobs, still keeping her gaze away.
"Let's go back home and pack what we need. We're leaving Austria."
Her eyes widened and she looked up at him, tear streaked face and all.
"W-What? To where?"
What he said next shocked both her and the Finders into speechlessness; from his tone of voice and face, it showed that he was truly serious on considering the plan he had in mind.
"To England, we're going to the Black Order."
Hitomi: There we go, all done.
*sniff* I really have no comment at all, I don't know why. It could be because I got sad when writing certain scenes in this chapter. And considering I was listening to the song, Friends (second ending song in the anime, Gundam 00), by Stephanie, when writing this, it really sent me to tears (especially when you translate the Japanese lyrics to English, you'll see that it really fits the chapter).
Ahhh, this is such a depressing chapter! Seriously, never mind the humor I had put in there, I still find this a little sad in spite of it. But, it's good to have family always there for you and friendship too. So, I wanted this chapter to come off… Well, I don't know. While it's an emotional chapter, I also wanted lightheartedness as well. While it holds a sad vibe, I also wanted to put some encouragement in there as well. An encouragement to not give up on life, despite going through one bad thing to the next, to believe that there's happiness somewhere…
Even if Rue is going through so much right now, I know she'll be able to overcome it.
*Ingat kayo - This is Filipino for "All of you, take care."
In other news…*grinning* YES, LAVI IS OFFICIALLY BACK. XD You can all start cheering/squealing/making some noise now because I already know you guys had been anticipating it for a long time. I, myself, am ecstatic to finally have him back in the story. Hehe, wouldn't Rue be in for such a big surprise~
Originally, I would've left Komui and Rue talking about why she had been so down. But since I remembered that a little after the Rewinding Town Arc that Komui was with Allen, Lenalee, Bookman, and Lavi on the train, I decided to write this scene instead. Yes, I know I didn't let Lavi talk to Rue, but how could I when Bookman was around? And you already know how Bookman is when it comes to people, emotions, and getting attached, so, of course I had to keep that in character; especially when he was suspicious of Rue to begin with a while back. So, for now, Lavi has to lie low with it.
*smiles* Couldn't resist Deak poking fun at Lavi because of Rue, though, in spite of how OoC that may be.
But, as you've read… *slight smile* The chapter didn't ended like you thought it did. So, at least we know Jericho and Claire won't give up since they love their sister too much.
And so, it ends, this mission and the Rewinding Town Arc~ Ohoho, I look forward to writing Chapter 30 now and you already know why!
