Heh heh… me again. Um… I've been working on other fics?
Hodgins pondered long and hard about his choice for the Dare round. He and Angela had had some 'fun' in the closet, something that they hadn't done in a very long time, and his mind was a little more than fuzzy. However, he did have a game plan in mind, and his goal was to get Booth and Brennan to as many romantic dares as possible.
After Brennan's surprise admission about her feelings for the FBI agent, Hodgins had been full of juicy dares, but all of his plans seemed to have flown out of his head.
Well, seeing as his head was full of romantic ideas about things he could do with his former(?) lover, converting one of them should do the trick.
"Brennan." he said with an evil grin. "I dare you to strip Booth down to his underwear."
Booth immediately turned red, but Brennan's expression didn't change.
"Okay." she replied, and walked past House and Cuddy (who were still tangled in one another), and proceeded to unbutton Booth's shirt.
"Whoa, Bones, slow down there, shouldn't you, uh consult with me first?"
"I don't see why I'd need to." Brennan said, undoing her partner's tie. "Undressing requires minimal participation on your part. You'll merely need to slip out of your garments after I loosen them."
"But, um, undressing is sort of an intimate act. You know, something that lovers do?"
"I see. You're afraid of the dare becoming sexually arousing. I assure you Booth, after my experiences tonight, I know what your erect penis feels like, and the sight of it wouldn't be uncomfortable in any way for me. The dare is perfectly safe. And besides, I've always felt that the more uncomfortable the dare, the more thrilling."
"Well, yeah, but…" She had felt his erect penis? What? It must have been that damn lap dance. He stuttered some more before giving up and staying quiet, praying to God that not too many people were watching as his partner (just partners, just partners, just partners…oh, who was he kidding? She loved him now!) undid his Cocky belt buckle and gestured for him to lift his hips. He did, without protest. How could he have protested? He was focusing all of his energy on keeping his hard-on away from the 'raging' range.
His face turned a further shade of red, a classic "help me!" look on his features.
This was way too much fun, and it gave her plenty of opportunity to let her hands linger on his well-defined muscles longer than was necessary to remove his clothing.
Before long, her masterpiece was ready. Special Agent Seeley Booth sat in his chair, clad in nothing but a pair of Tweety-patterned boxers, a suspiciously large tent pitched in the middle of the soft cotton, a painfully embarrassed look plastered all over his face.
She stood back to admire her handiwork, and she sent him a small smile.
"The situation, coupled with your obvious sexual attraction to me, is a perfectly normal reason for you to have an erection, Booth. I don't see what's so embarrassing about it."
He winced at the 'obvious sexual attraction' comment.
"It's not embarrassing that I have a raging hard-on, Bones, it's that everyone is… staring at it."
"Well, the height of the deformation in the natural shape of your boxers suggests that you have an above-average sized penis."
"Okay, Bones, would you mind not talking about the," He winced again. "Size of my penis in front of everybody?" he finished with a whisper and a begging look on his face.
"Would you prefer we talk about it in private?" she asked, puzzled.
"No! I mean, can we not talk about my junk right now? Uh… maybe we can do the next dare."
"The sexual nature of this dare made you feel uncomfortable. I understand. I think that was Dr. Hodgins' intention."
"Guilty as charged." Hodgins grinned from his chair, holding up his hand.
"Right…" Booth muttered.
"I understand your predicament, Agent Booth." House said loudly, from underneath Cuddy. "I, too, have a rather large tent in my pants. Perhaps we should stop this game for a 'bathroom' break." Cuddy slapped him lightly on the arm.
"You shut up." she muttered. "Or I'll get off you and everyone can look at your man parts."
"I don't see the problem." he stage-whispered in reply.
"Your pants are unbuttoned and unzippered." she whispered back. "I think that's a little more than you want everyone to see."
"Now when did that happen?" House asked mischievously. "Maybe when the little sex kitten sitting on my lap thought we were going to do each other in the middle of a room full of people."
"Your hands were down MY pants, I thought I'd return the favour." Cuddy replied.
"Ah, but you weren't wearing any pants."
"Hence the need to take YOURS off."
Booth had had just about enough of their little conversation. The good Christian man in him didn't want to listen to their discussion about what they had been doing during their kiss (a kiss that had been way too much more than a kiss). It was just wrong. Colleagues weren't meant to fondle each other in a room full of other people while playing a teenager's game, and he certainly wasn't supposed to get an erection just from Temperance Brennan removing his clothing. They hadn't even been kissing or anything. It was like she was getting him ready for a bath, or something. Oh, god, a bath with his partner…
Brennan was watching House and Cuddy with a mildly interested expression on her face. Were she and Booth that at ease with each other? Did they have that sort of connection? Could they sit so comfortably with each other like that without heated faces and gazes turned hurriedly away?
"Uh, Sweetie, as much as we like admiring Booth's junk, I think its time for another dare." The voice of her best friend snapped her out of her thoughts.
"Fine." she started. Cuddy had already gone, Hodgins had already gone, she had already gone, that just left Angela, Sweets, House and Booth. "Sweets. I dare you to…" Hmm, now what was a good dare? The streaking one was good, she admitted, there wasn't much that Sweets didn't seem willing to do.
"I dare you to call Daisy and tell her… that you're in love with Hodgins." she said finally.
Sweets resisted the urge to choke on his own spit. Call Daisy and tell him that he was in love with one of his colleagues? She would probably believe him and offer him numerous emotional apologies.
"Okay…" he said slowly, taking out his phone. "But she's in Mexico. She might not pick up."
"You can leave her a message then."
"What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know. I've never made a confession of love before." Booth made a mental note to correct that later.
"Okay… I'm dialing the number." the young psychologist said, pressing the two on his speed dial. "Hi, Daisy? Yes, it's…Lancelot." He lowered his head at his pet name. "Um, yeah, no, everything's fine… um, I just called you to tell you that… I'm in love with Hodgins. Yes. The bug guy. No, I haven't been leading you on. No, Daisy, disregard everything I just said. Yes, everything. No, I'm not." He moved his head away from the handset.
"Am I allowed to say that I'm playing Truth or Dare?" he whispered.
"No." Brennan said. "You have to come up with another reason."
"No, I was just… doing an experiment on reactions to unexpected news. No, your name isn't going to into any research papers. Yes, I'll see you when you get home. I love you. Bye." He glowered at Brennan.
"I hope you're happy." he said.
"I generally am, Sweets. You should know that." Booth didn't bother to correct her. He was used to her cluelessness so much that by now it had just become another thing he adored about his Bones.
"Okay, Hodgins, I dare you to… photocopy your ass." Sweets said proudly.
"Photocopy my ass... come on, Sweets, that's the best thing you could come up with?"
"I wasn't finished. You then have to scan it into the computer, and email it to everyone in the building. With your name attached."
Hodgins looked around nervously.
"Uh, maybe we should institute the 'what happens in the room, stays in the room' rule." he said.
"No. I need someone to go with him, to make sure that he does it. Booth?" The FBI agent just smiled at him.
"No way am I wandering around the building in the middle of the night in my boxers." he said.
"And no way am I sending a signed picture of my ass to everyone that I work with." Hodgins added.
"Are you chickening out, Dr. Hodgins? And Booth, no one's here."
"That's what you think, Sweets. The squints like to work well into the night. I'll probably get caught by some old guy in the Rome-ology department."
"There's no such thing as the Rome-ology department." Brennan said. "I don't think Booth should go with Hodgins. It's cold, and he isn't wearing enough clothing for a journey to my office."
"You'll go with him, then?" Sweets asked.
"Hang on; I am NOT doing this dare."
"Fine. I guess you'll just have to quit the game."
"I don't get three chances or anything?"
"No. You can do this dare, or leave."
"Fine." Hodgins mumbled, getting up. "Come on Dr. B; let's go take a picture of my gluteus maximus."
Sweets smiled to him. Payback for taking his clothes.
Which reminded him, he should probably go looking for them.
Doubtless Hodgins and Brennan would spend a long time in the copy room, trying to get the perfect shot.
"Make sure you get one to me!" Angela called as they left. Hodgins winced. She was the only one he wanted to have the picture.
