*it's been a long time since I've updated this fic but I am still in love with this story! just know that it's pretty stressful to know how many people are reading this fic… every time I update I feel like I'm letting a large amount of people down with whatever it is I post. That being said, thanks for reading and I really do hope to complete this story someday soon!*
Chapter 29
I'm Never Gettin' Over You
Part I
After the rafting trip Clara had a voicemail on her phone.
"Ah shit, Liam listen," she passed the phone to him so that he could hear. Their parents were planning on meeting them for dinner back in Sedona, little did they know, that their precious children had fled to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, HOURS away, and all on purpose.
"Should we call them?" She asked.
"It's only 3:30," he mentioned.
"Fuck," Clara cursed. They could make it back by dinner easy and she knew it. "Fuck, fuck fuck," she stomped.
"If you don't want to, we can stay."
"No, they're right. We should see them," she sighed. "Gimme that," she asked, holding her hand out for her phone. She checked her messages and found Amy's contact, pressing to dial.
"Huh-aah-hi," Amy answered, trying to sound not so hot and bothered.
"Hey," Clara sighed.
"Who is it?" Karma asked.
"It's Clara," Amy mouthed. Karma slid her hand up Amy's arm and playfully teased at reaching for the phone. This made Amy smile uncontrollably and forget herself. Just the touch of Karma's fingers sent her reeling.
"You guys okay?" Clara asked.
"Yeah, uh, we're fine," Amy stuttered, feeling as Karma slid on top of her with her legs apart and straddled her just to tease.
They were in the grass and in public, fully dressed but feeling naked.
"My parents want to go to dinner," Clara huffed. "And I think that we should." Beside Clara, on the canyon floor, Rory was squatting on land and holding her head. She still felt ill from before and Clara knew, she felt horrible about it, it was half the reason she thought they should go back.
"Oh? O-Okay, if you think we should." Karma noticed the surprise in Amy's voice and stared down at her with a questioning awe. Amy was so beautiful and so happy but then, she was also this mystery now because of everything that had gone on, and specifically because of Clara.
"You guys don't have to go back if you don't want to, we can work something out. But we're gonna catch a ride out of the canyon and drive back in about an hour or so."
So much for the Grand Canyon. Amy thought of the room and wondered if they should stay alone.
"K, I'll ask Karma what she wants to do," Karma was sitting on top of her and playfully rubbing Amy's sides beneath her shirt while she watched her, running her hands up with increasing pressure before dragging her nails slowly down in a way that turned Amy on and nearly killed her. "STOP!" Amy yelled, throwing her phone and grabbing Karma by the hands, pulling her over and pushing her off of her with the help of her legs.
Karma laughed excitedly. It was too easy to get at Amy. She was so sensitive and Karma felt every bit of that reaction in her. She felt and saw it. Strangely, it excited her almost more than being touched by her. When Amy was excited, and when Karma knew she had done that? Karma couldn't help but melt inside. It wasn't like things with Liam. It wasn't like anything. The only thing Karma could think to compare it to was when she puppy sat for her neighbor years ago. Amy had come. They rolled around forever with all those small baby goldens. Those dogs were so soft and they smelled like Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo. They attacked Amy and licked her into a giggle fit. Karma had to save her. It was weird to think of that now, but right now was the perfect time to have that memory return. Things had always been the same after all. They loved each other. Her and Amy had always been in love.
"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Amy threatened, rolling ontop of Karma and holding her arms down to the grass. "You're IMPOSSIBLE!" Amy tried to be angry but it was no use. Karma was below her, smiling with all her feelings and her memories. She'd laughed too much and she was just calming down. She liked when Amy took control. It made her feel safe, cared for, loved.
"I like this," Karma said.
"Shut up," Amy laughed, rolling over her and lying so that she could face her but also hold her wrists and keep her from tickling her and playing.
"This whole trip has been crazy," Karma smiled, searching Amy's eyes.
"You're crazy…" Amy smiled, noticing Karma's lips and how close they were. It'd be so easy to just kiss her. Amy thought about it but she kept watching Karma's eyes because they saw her.
"Maybe," Karma sighed. She wasn't mad about it though. Not right now. "Kiss me," Karma said, smiling more.
"K," Amy smiled, letting go of Karma's wrist and moving a hand up to Karma's face to catch her cheek and lead her in as she tasted her lips. Karma mirrored her by pulling Amy's face close.
Before they knew it they were fighting each other to taste, fighting each other to feel and hold each other there, stop the world from mattering. Again, it had all become serious.
Eventually, Karma's hunger won out. She pushed her way ontop of Amy and made a sport of rubbing up on her, with her leg between Amy's legs and her hand pressing firm onto Amy's stomach while she kissed her. Karma would crawl and steal from her, taking care not to stop, not even for a brief moment. Every now and then Amy would moan into Karma's mouth only to whimper shortly after. Karma made her soft and weak. With Karma this way Amy was completely stolen from the world. All of her cares disappeared. She didn't have any now.
A couple walked by them and saw that they were both girls. As soon as they realized what they were seeing, they walked away quickly and their kid ran fast to catch up to them, unaware of it all.
"What did you need to ask me about?" Karma asked breathlessly, parting for a second just to check on Amy who seemed almost listless or weak at this point. All her strength was drained because when Karma kissed her she felt weak. Karma had taken her power away and Karma was so unbelievably turned on. All day they had been trying not to do the things they couldn't stop doing. All Karma kept thinking was how hot it was the other day when Amy took her against the watch tower, hundreds of feet above the ground. When she thought on it she felt herself as weak and helpless as Amy seemed beneath her, only desperate and thirsty. Amy laid back and let herself be loved while Karma sought to take.
They both breathed close to one another and tried not to think too much.
"Clara wants to go back to Sedona tonight. Her parents want to have a dinner. She said we don't have to go." Karma pushed Amy's hair out of her face and traced her fingers along Amy's cheek before touching Amy's lips with her soft fingertips.
"Do you want to go back?"
"We probably should."
Karma didn't want to go back. Another night in that suite could be good for them. Another night in that suite would be another night alone with Amy on top of the world.
"What are you thinking?" Amy asked, sensing Karma's stormy thoughts.
"If we stay we can be alone," Karma said, not thinking. She wanted Amy to know her thoughts.
"We'll be alone soon enough," Amy smirked.
"Yeah, at home…" Karma confessed. "With your mom around or my mom around or Lauren around, or-"
"Shhhh," Amy smiled, pulling Karma's hand into her own and holding it.
"Can we stay? Please?" Karma's eyes looked watery and sad as she begged, realizing at once that she wanted for things to stay the same. "I just… I don't want to leave if we don't have to." Something in Karma seemed instantly bruised.
"Yeah, we can stay," Amy decided. She hadn't even entertained it at first. What did it matter if they were in Sedona or the Grand Canyon? Either way they'd be together.
"Thanks," Karma exhaled, her eyes fluttering to fight back tears.
"What happened?"
"I dunno," Karma huffed. "I think I'm scared of going back…" She laid her head down on Amy's shoulder and held her close.
It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last. Small things, insignificant things, made her nervous. Amy wished she could understand. But Amy didn't understand. She just accepted.
It had all to do with change and none to do with how she felt about her. Karma's insecurities always got the better of her and Amy knew it well.
"We can go if you want," Karma added. And she would go.
"No, no. It's fine, really," Amy said. "I just want to be with you," she made sure to say in case Karma was confused about that. She wrapped her arm around Karma's and pulled her friend close. They lay there a while. Amy rest her lips on Karma's forehead and her nose in Karma's hair. They both closed their eyes and stayed for a while, just a little while more.
Part II
Clara had Liam arrange a helicopter flight out of the canyon. Where Shane was excited, Rory was just miffed.
"I am sorry," Clara said. They were packing up their stuff from the room. Rory had just taken a shower since she had gotten all kinds of wet on that rafting trip. Her head still throbbed uncomfortably. Even without noise it felt like a hammer pounding a nail into her brain, again and again and again, deeper and deeper and deeper.
Clara watched as Rory winced awkwardly, avoiding her. She took her clothes into the bathroom and shut the door without speaking, leaving Clara alone in the room.
There was a moment earlier when Clara thought she had really fucked up by letting Rory back in. They were riding on the raft down the canyon and the water had finally gotten still. Liam and Shane were laughing together about something and Rory was sitting back on the raft, trying to ignore how sick she felt. Clara looked down at her then and she just knew it had happened. She was already 100% addicted to her again. It had been that fast and that simple. They always saw more of each other than anyone else could.
At the time she wanted to be mad. The storm had past, the boys were happy, she'd had a hot steamy fling with the unexpected Amy, but somehow she couldn't be happy not with Rory like that. Not with Rory hurting.
Plus, Rory was sexy as hell. Clara could think about Amy and the cave and the shower and the months away from everyone with California girls all around her. She could think of it all fondly but Rory was still Rory and Rory had always been hers, even when it seemed she wasn't. There was a truth in that. Clara stared at her then on the raft and just knew it. Rory wouldn't be here if it hadn't of been true. She could be anywhere, anywhere else. But Rory had come back to her, she needed her.
Back in the room Clara thought about it again and decided she couldn't think any more. Instead of letting sleeping dogs lie and allowing Rory to be upset with her all afternoon, Clara walked to the bathroom door and pushed it open, placing herself inside.
Rory turned quickly and snapped her bra on as fast as she could.
"Do you mind?!" Rory huffed. She's had the worst day. She hated that raft and everything really. She had no clue what she was doing in the Grand Canyon of all places, chasing after something she'd already lost. God, she was really starting to feel like an asshole for expecting Clara to just drop everything and fucking live for her and no one else. She was pathetic. This was rock bottom. If anything, Clara had just gotten stronger without her. She was bad for Clara, a horrible person. The more she watched her now, the more she saw.
"Yes, I do," Clara said, walking to her and letting her hands slip in around Rory's sides. Rory turned into her and let her arms fall. She was too exhaused and upset to fight but she was also too sad and angry with herself to be excited about any encounter she could have with Clara right now. Clara shouldn't want her. She shouldn't touch her. She deserved so much better. When Rory thought about it she just wanted to break.
"Clara, what are you doing," she said hopelessly. She couldn't even be bothered to look at her. She was only half-dressed and she hadn't even the time to button her jeans.
Clara brought a hand up to Rory's face. She pushed Rory's wet hair away from her eyes and listened as Rory's breath hitched with her stare.
"You know I'm not feeling well," Rory reminded, seeing her now, feeling like a lost and scared puppy. All she wanted was some aspirin and a nap and maybe a week straight of alone time. That was all she fucking wanted. She thought Clara could help but Clara was too good for her and that hurt to know because she wanted her, she wanted her so much.
"I'm not going to let you be mad at me," Clara said. She moved Rory until Rory's back was resting on the counter. Rory felt as Clara leaned in and kissed at her neck and pushed at her hip, letting her thumb travel beneath the top of Rory's underwear and brush her skin.
"God, Clara, please…" Rory panicked, her head still pounding. She brought a hand up and held at her head, feeling conflicted with Clara's lips on her pulse.
"You want me to stop?" Clara asked, kissing her way up Rory's neck and feeling as Rory's breathing sped up and her body gave in, in that way, her hands dropping, her resistance waning.
"I really don't feel good," Rory choked out in frustration. She wanted the touching but she hated herself. The pounding intensified with her anger.
"I'm sorry," Clara said, kissing her quicker and holding her close. "I didn't mean to hurt you today," she said, holding Rory's face in her hand and kissing her cheek.
Rory closed her eyes into the touch. She moved her hand up to hold at Clara's on her cheek.
"Stop, please," she asked in pain.
"Okay," Clara said. She let her hand drop and slowly pushed off of Rory's body.
"You shouldn't want me, ya know?" Rory spoke with her eyes closed.
"It doesn't matter," Clara said. Rory opened her eyes and looked at her for a second. She felt her head stop, just for a second.
"Here," Clara said, pulling a white pill out of her pocket. It wasn't asprin.
"What's this?"
"It'll help," Clara said. She had gotten it from Shane.
Rory made a face. It was a defiant face but a cute pouty one that conveyed her struggle.
"Don't look at me," Clara smiled. Clara wanted to take her before the ride home, apologize for the way they were pulled apart earlier, but Rory was obviously too upset to do anything right now. When Rory stared Clara saw the sadness in her eyes.
"Maybe I should wait until we get to the car."
"I don't mind carrying you," Clara smiled. She leaned forward back onto Rory and grabbed a bottle of water from the counter, unscrewing the top. "Come on, take it," Clara pushed. She raised the bottle to Rory's lips and watched as Rory sadly placed the pill on her tongue, and tucked it safely inside of her mouth. "Good girl," Clara said, tilting the bottle and pushing her softly to drink. Rory swallowed the pill knowing that soon she'd fall asleep. She hated being sick or weak or open about either of those two things with anyone else. She only did that with Clara. No one else could see her truth.
"Thanks," Rory said. She wanted to cry though, she felt like crying all goddamn day.
"I love you, ya know..." Clara said, watching her and noticing how weak she suddenly was.
"You shouldn't."
"I should and I do." Clara hated the fight in Rory. Everything was always a fight.
