Don't make me sad, don't make me cry

Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough

I don't know why

Keep making me laugh

"Born to Die" by Lana Del Rey

But it's worse that he did it. That he spared me the deed, but left me the guilt. I felt my hand clench again around the barrel of the gun, and felt the impact of bullet ripping through flesh. But he had used his soul in replace of mine, killing his mother to protect my "innocence". I feel the guilt, for causing him pain. Despite his claims of hatred, the basic human connection between family condescends all feeling. And he killed her.

'I'm sorry.' But it's not me who whispers the words, its him.

And he turns and walks away, leaving me swimming with questions.

At this point, running after him like a princess is simply out of the question. First there is the small matter of the hole in my lungs, and secondly, I'm just too tired to deal with it.

I drift back into sleep, where the world can't get to me with their guns and kicks. I dream of a golden meadow, flowers gleaming with diamonds, and robins made of ruby.

I wake into the real world. The darkness around me unsettles my vision, and the pain throbbing in my chest fills the black with red as I try to sit up.

My freshly changed bandages splatter with red. I stare down at my chest, at the new bandage. The red reminded me of the robins in my dream, so bright and powerful. The contrast starkly outlines the wound, and the seeping red spreads out, further and further in a inching dance of life, draining out my time.

I gasp, still enraptured and stare at my chest.

From my side, Zach starts, awakening from his sleep in the chair next to me.

'Hey Gallagher Girl.'

'Hey.'

'Look what happened, how about we just don't talk about it? Forgive and forget?' he says, avoiding my eyes.

'Sure, whatever.'

He kiss me, then notices the patch of red spreading across my chest.

'Damn it! Again?' I wonder how many hours he's been here. The though makes me feel better. I squeeze his had, glad for his warmth in the cold white room.

'Nurse! Patient 7 needs help!' He looks nearly frantic as he presses the intercom button near my bed.

'I'm fine, really. It's just a little blood.'

He only shakes his head. 'It's not like that. You've been out for 3 days, and your bandages haven't lasted for more than 2 hours at max. You're on blood transfusions just to keep you filled with blood. They didn't want me to tell you this, but they've been keeping you on sleeping pills so they can figure it out. Its an internal problem, one they've never seen.'

'What? That can't be possible! I've only been asleep for... well a few hours!'

He smiles sadly, the whites of his eyes tinged with red.

'You've been here the whole time?' I whisper, as the nurses descend upon me in a wave.

My hand is pulled from Zach's fingers, needle inserted into my arm, and shot injected into veins.

Before the world fades away again, I hear his voice.

'Always.'

This time, my mind keeps me caged while the nightmares attack from behind. There's no escape, though I push and push at the walls of my prison. And then the pain comes and it's all I know.

I curl up into a shell, as though it can protect me some how. I feel a raw primal scream nearby but the sound is lost in the whirl of the ocean in my own mind.

The pain consumes me, and my lungs are burning and the darkness is a relief when it finally comes.

Awareness returns after endless pain subsides somewhat. My mind calls my soul back, but I'm not ready to leave my cave.

Loud voices, above me head. Flying words, my name mixed in the lot. I wish they would just leave me to die in peace.

When I open my eyes, all I see are a pair of green eyes.

Zach relaxes instantly. He's more disheveled then ever, hair out of place, eyes blood shot, clothes rumpled.

He's never looked so gorgeous, standing over my bedside.

'Out with it. What's the matter with you?' I ask.

He shakes his head.

'You nearly died, at least 4 times in the last,' he checks his watch,' 2 days, and your asking me what my problem is? Geez woman!' But he smiles still the same, settling heavily on the edge of my bed.

'The almighty Zachary Goode would never let a hair on his head get out of place, not for anything. Besides, I nearly die a lot. But I'm not dead yet, so I must be doing something right.'

'I swear you will be the death of me.'

I grin. 'As long as I ever shall live.'

He kisses my check gently.

'So why's all this shit still on me?' I gesture to the thousands of tiny tubes injected into my body.

'That, darling, is up to the damn doctors. When they decide you can be released, you are free to go. But I have a feeling they want to talk to you. You still have some... problems.'

'Don't we all?' I say wearily. 'After all the pain I went though you'd think the least they could do would be to unchain me so I can at least pea.'

'You must be feeling better, then.' He grins.

'I've faced worse, though I'm told childbirth trumps being shot a thousand times over.'

'I'm sure I could fix that.' He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

'Dear God, save me.' I slap his arm (playfully), but being a fully trained operative, well let's just say he's lucky I love him.

He tickles my stomach, under all the tubes, and I giggle in a very un-professional manner.

'Did I just hear the famous Cammie Morgan, master of all spies, the world renowned Chameleon laugh?' He says in fake surprise.

'Yes,' I snap, 'if you know what's good for you, you will step away from the Chameleon. She may be about to die, but even then, she's still knows how to kill a man in nearly 50 ways, using her bare hands.'

Zach nervously side steps back to his vigil at the bedside chair.

'Thanks.'

'You know what Gallagher Girl, you are one heck of a scary woman. Remind me never to get on your bad side.'

'Will do babe.'

The clicking of shoes reminds me of the throbbing in my lung.

The white lab coat appears, along with the face of Dr. Johnson, clutching a clipboard in her hand.

'Cameron, now that your awake, I'd like to inform you of some of the medical procedures you have undergone over the last few days. Now, as you know, you were shot in three places: the arm, the leg and the bottom of your left lung. The arm and leg wounds we were able to heal relatively quickly, with little pain on your part, but your lung was severely punctured, and sustained terrible damage. We've had to drain the fluid multiple times. We followed standard procedure for such a wound but each time, the wound would re-open and bleed continuously. Closer examination revealed traces of snake venom which prevented your blood from clotting, resulting in continual bleeding. The bullet was tipped with poison.'

I just sit.

'You've had about 15 pints of blood transfused, which was the minimum we could give you. For most of the time, Zach here has been watching your wound, to warn us of re-opening. The poison was eventually,' she glares at Zach at this point, ' removed from your blood, though you will be weak for several weeks afterwards. We won't be able to unhook you for another 2 days, and after that, you will be closely watched to ensure no further damage is sustained. Any questions?'

'No, thank you Doctor.' I say politely smiling at the woman who saved my life.

'My pleasure. Thanks you for your excellent service.'

And she exits the partitioned room, leaving me in silence.

'No missions for 2 weeks! This is horrible!' I say, while Zach mutters under his breath.

'What was that?'

'I said, I'm gonna kill her for hurting you.'

I look at him.

'I thought Catherine was dead! I saw you kill her! I saw it!'

'So did I, but somehow, Cam, she's still out there, and she's mad.'

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry

Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough

I don't know why

Keep making me laugh

I'm back, did you miss me :)

Please review. I kept Zammie if you didn't notice.

Thanks for the reviews I got- they were awesome! The universal opinion supported Zammie so Zammie it is!

Question: What made you start reading this story in the first place?

Love you all!