I'd just like to take a second to apologize for saying that the show is lame. But after we're given episodes like "Crossroads of the Soul," can you really blame me? Besides, I wouldn't be so upset about it if I didn't care. I still consider myself a Mutant X fan, and I will try very hard to simply laugh at any horribly painful eps in the future. I know I can count on the rest of you all to either fix them or at least parody them in fic.

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Jesse settled somewhat before surrendering to the drug and fully passing out, too exhausted to even remotely understand the pain that had just assaulted him.

"What was that?" Shalimar asked Adam. It was clear that he was greatly bothered by what Jesse had said.

Adam pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling the start of a nasty migraine headache. "I think Jesse just experienced some sort of post traumatic episode."

"But he was handling things just fine," she replied, shaking her head.

Adam softly touched her arm, knowing how much this was upsetting her. They were both incredibly protective of Jesse. "I think Eckhart interrogated him."

Shalimar visibly paled, but as she looked back up at him, her eyes flashed feral. "I'll kill him."

"I'm not certain of anything just yet. I need to go over the scans again and make sure no other damage was done." He turned to study the monitor as he spoke. "And I'll ask Jesse about this when he wakes. The two of us need to talk anyway."

Shalimar remained planted by his side. She watched over his shoulder despite not knowing exactly what she was looking at.

"There's some slight bruising, but nothing serious," Adam relayed, knowing she wasn't going to budge and would pester him if he didn't share his findings. "Probably from when he was abducted. It doesn't look like there are any injuries other than the bullet wound. Physically, he's going to be fine."

Shalimar fidgeted nervously, not able to stay still. "What if Eckhart got a psionic to poke around inside his head or something?"

"It's a remote possibility." Adam turned to look at her. "But Jesse was only held for a short period of time. It's far more likely that Eckhart was merely trying to spook him. The actual game is between Mason and myself. If he thought he could get anything from Jesse, he wouldn't have returned him along with a tracking device."

At that moment, an alert went off and Adam instantly pulled up the new window. Shalimar stared at the new screen. "What is it?"

"Perimeter security at the new safe house has just been breached," he replied.

"Jesse didn't give away our safe house. He wouldn't do that, Adam." She refused to even think that Jesse had provided their enemy with information.

"I know. If the information had come from Jesse, we would have been getting this alert while I was... occupied." Mason would have struck while he'd been working to remove the bullet from Jesse's back. "But they can't gain access to our server from that location, so we can worry about it later."

"Tell me, Adam," Shalimar said harshly, not believing he was just letting this go, "what would make you worry now?"

Adam spun sharply away from staring at the screen to look at her. "Excuse me?"

"We have a location," she explained, jabbing her finger at the computer. "We couldn't find them, but they came to us. I can be at that safe house in fifteen minutes."

Standing, Adam firmly grabbed her arm. "Don't go."

She furrowed her brow, not understanding. "This is our shot."

"Alone?" He studied her determined face. "You would have no backup, no plan. If this is for real, then they're already gone. If they're still there in fifteen minutes, I can assure you it's a trap."

"I need to find out. Brennan and Emma--"

"What would you have me do?" he interrupted. "Would you have me risk your life for theirs? Risk Jesse's life?"

She glanced back to where Jesse was lying. He could have died. She more than understood Adam's caution. She softened her voice. "What about Bren and Emma?"

"You know you all are more to me than just a team, right?" Adam asked seriously, also looking at Jesse. "You're more than just Mutant X, and sometimes that frightens me."

The emotion is his tone startled her. Adam usually concealed his feelings better than this. She looked down at his hand that was still gripping her arm. He'd grown attached to a team that he was required to put in danger almost every day. She'd never really considered that before, how hard it must be for him.

"Maybe you and Jesse are right," he eventually said. "Maybe there never will be a safe way to rescue the others. If you feel you need to follow this now, then go. I'm asking you not to, but it's your choice."

His concern worried her. "Why are you so adamant about not wanting me to do this?"

He blinked away the moisture from his eyes before it had a chance to form. Adam never cried. "How do you think they knew the location of that safe house? If not from Jesse. The only one that isn't fully active yet. The one we can lose without anybody getting hurt."

It suddenly hit her. Brennan and Emma. She was too shocked to say anything.

"Hopefully this means they're both still alive," Adam said quietly. Dead people didn't hemorrhage information. And knowing his kids, they were more likely to crack to protect the other than save themselves. Held separately, his team would be practically impossible to break. "But we do need to pull them out now. I have every source I know working on this."

"Well your sources obviously aren't good enough!" she replied, her voice rising to a shout before she could lower it to a normal volume again. She turned away from Adam. "I'll call you when I get to the safe house."

Adam let her take a few steps before speaking. There was something she needed to know. "I've been in communication with Mason."

She paused mid-stride. "What..." She kept her back to him, wanting not to have heard what he just said. How could he have talked with Eckhart and not told her? Adam couldn't have kept a secret like that from her.

He wanted to walk over to her but held back. She had every right to be angry, and he could see the tension in her posture. She and Jesse were his team, and he should have made them aware of his actions. "I've already sent an e-mail to Genomex, asking Mason if he's interested in negotiating. I received a reply while you were in with Jesse."

"What did he say?" she asked nervously, knowing the reply must not have been traceable or they'd already be on the trail. Eckhart was too smart for that. She pivoted back around so her gaze could meet Adam's eyes.

"I offered him anything except for you and Jesse. I thought he'd take Sanctuary, my files, or possibly money, but that isn't what he wants. He wants to permanently end the game." They were playing out the final round.

Shalimar didn't understand - didn't want to understand. And yet she asked anyway. "What exactly does that mean?"

"Since I refused to give up you, he offered to release only Emma..." He kept her gaze, never looking away, gauging her reaction. "In exchange for me."

Not able to deal with the thought of Adam turning himself over to their worst enemy, she forced her mind to switch tracks. She might as well know everything before trying to cope with the situation. "What about Brennan?"

Adam nodded his consent. He would answer the question, despite his better judgement. It was time he came clean. He knew the opponent, how he thought, for they had once been friends. "He's the reason I didn't agree to Mason's terms. He won't trade one person for two. He's keeping Brennan. It's possible that means he's already had him killed, otherwise he'd likely be using him as a bargaining chip as well."

"Oh god, Adam..." She stared at him while letting his words sink in. Brennan could be dead. That was what he'd been reading when she'd gone to his room. And he'd told her that he... "How could you get that message and tell me you were fine?"

"Being a part of this team means your lives are put in danger every second of every day. You all knew the risks." He knew he must sound cold and heartless, but he needed to remove himself from any emotional responses. "If I allowed myself to dwell on those risks, I wouldn't be able to do my job. And right now there's a part of me that's telling myself I'm a damn fool for letting you know the contents of that e-mail."

She didn't know whether to be sad or furious. Conflicting emotions waged inside her. "You should have told me sooner! You lied to me, Adam. You hid that information, and I should have known."

"Can you honestly tell me that knowing what you do now - knowing that Jesse was shot, knowing that Emma is being held captive, and knowing that Brennan is most likely dead - knowing this, you can still be out in the field with more on your mind than revenge?"

Most likely dead... That phrase struck her hard. Adam had slipped and told her how he honestly felt. He'd gone from possible to most likely. He actually believed that Brennan had been killed.

Seeming to catch his mistake, Adam moved closer to her, wanting to offer comfort, or support, or something else that he didn't know how to give. "Shalimar..."

"I don't know," she said in response to his inquiry.

Adam couldn't allow her to dwell on her current thoughts. "If you want to beat the odds, you need to be out there telling yourself that Jesse is going to fine, that Emma will be brought home safely, and that Brennan is alive and we will find him. That's what you need to be believing in order to pull off the miracles you do every day."

"What version is the truth? What you live with, or what you tell us?" Did he ever fully disclose anything, she wondered, or were his words always altered versions of his own form of truth?

He sighed deeply before speaking. "Both. Neither. I give you whatever version I think will allow you to sleep at night. My version, and my worries, are my own. As for the current situation, we don't know anything for certain. But if Brennan is dead, then this has reached a very dangerous level and I am not willing to send you out alone. If you go to the safe house, stay out of sight. Look for clues, but that's all. I don't want you out there if you're after blood."

"I'll keep my temper," she reluctantly promised, knowing she'd break that promise if she were given the opportunity of gaining access to Eckhart. If he'd killed Brennan, she'd make him suffer dearly. She would lose control and make the rash decisions Adam was afraid of. She'd prove that he was right to conceal the truth from her.

"If there's nothing there, come straight back," he said in a final word of caution. "As soon as I'm certain Jesse's recovered enough, I'll accept Mason's terms and trade myself for Emma. One way or another, at least I'll find out if Brennan's alive."

She paused but said nothing further. She needed to leave before she could give herself a chance to think. Before she was able to feel.

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TBC...

I was just trying to work through writer's block with this chapter. More will actually happen in the next.