Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic and Co.!


Despite Shadow and Rouge's best efforts, money was becoming increasingly scarce for the two of them. They kept coming up with increasingly creative ways to save it or earn it, but things were still shaky. Rouge was tempted over and over to just swipe an item here and there, but Shadow kept a tight eye on her.

Then, while they were poking through a grocery store looking for sales, Rouge saw something.

"Shadow, look at that poster! They're having a town parade this afternoon!"

"Good for them," said Shadow. "Don't even think about it."

"No, no, you'll like this! They're having a decorating competition, where people dress up their cars or trucks or motorcycles! And there's a five. hundred. dollar. PRIZE! Five freakin' hundred dollars, Shadow! Think about it!"

"I'm thinking about it," said Shadow grimly. "And I'm thinking about the gashes in the bike's paintwork. And I'm thinking about us not having a single thing to decorate it with. And I'm thinking about how much decorations must cost. If you're going to dress up that motorcycle so it has even a chance of first prize, you'd need to spend six hundred dollars at least."

"Nothing of the kind," scoffed Rouge. "I have a ton of ideas for free decorations. We just need to find a recycling bin . . . "

"You are not going to put recycling materials on my motorcycle." No particular emphasis, very calmly spoken. It brooked no denial.

"Shads, believe me! I have an idea for a theme! We'll purposely try to make it look really scruffy, and we'll make ourselves look really scruffy, and we'll pose as hobos or something. I promise there'll be no permanent damage to the bike. If we don't win, no harm done. If we do win—think about it!"

"Let me get this straight," said Shadow, folding his arms. "You want us to look as bad as possible, an absolute fright, a real terrifying abomination—and then you want to proceed down the town's main street in a parade?"

"Exactly!"

Shadow looked at Rouge silently for a moment, then shook his head to hide a smile.

"Okay. If that's what you want."

"Don't you grin, wise guy. When money is this scarce, for five hundred dollars, I'd catch a grenade."

"Really?"

"Don't get ideas."

The town, fortunately, had a very cool recycling center, the kind that took batteries and old refrigerators and everything. Rouge and Shadow explained their situation politely, and got permission to dig around to their hearts' content and at their own risk.

"Lookit!" said Rouge delightedly. "Somebody's thrown out a ton of party streamers! We can hang these from the handlebars and tail and everything."

"And this goes on the front of the handlebars," said Shadow, jumping out of a plastic recycling bin.

"Ugh, what is that?"

"I think it's a kind of plastic toy. Some variant of Frankenstein?"

"It looks like it just crawled out of the grave."

"That's the point, isn't it?" Shadow tied the gruesome little monster toy to the handlebars.

"Oh, a plastic tablecloth!" called Rouge. "And a metal pole! Looks like we've got a flag to stick on the back!"

"And we can just randomly put cardboard and newspapers here and there, I guess."

"Tin cans!" said Rouge delightedly, surfacing out of another bin. "Perfect! I once saw a car that had tin cans tied to the back—they were noisy as heck. We want to attract a lot of attention!"

"When we're looking like this," groaned Shadow. "I'm tempted to have you drive this thing alone in that parade."

"No way. If I ride this ridiculous thing, sure as heck you're coming along too."

Shadow sighed and kept digging around. Presently he turned up holding a half-full can of white paint primer.

"Put it over everything," he instructed wearily. "The cardboard, the cans, the motorcycle, everything except the tires. The bike'll have to be repainted when we get home anyway, and it'll at least look better when it's all the same color."

It was no easy task, without paintbrushes, but they managed to spread the paint over everything except the tires and, after some thought, the seats.

"You know, it actually looks good now!" marvelled Rouge, surveying their handiwork. "Maybe we shouldn't go for the hobo theme after all. We could make some wings out of cardboard, and it'd be like a swan-bike."

"Don't push it, Rouge," sighed Shadow.

While they were waiting for the paint to dry, they tried to spruce themselves up a little. Shadow spat on his gloves and slicked down his quills till he looked like he'd been lubricated; Rouge smoothed out her hair and put on extra makeup.

"Do I look okay?" she asked. "I wish I had something else to wear . . . "

"You have those pajamas," remarked Shadow, then ducked.

"I meant a dress or skirt or something, wise guy."

"You hate dresses."

"I know, I know, but I was hoping to look a little more fancy . . . "

Shadow considered, then stepped to the edge of the tarmac and gathered some wildflowers.

"How's that?" he asked, handing them to Rouge. "You could put them behind your ears, or make a chain out of 'em like Cream does, I dunno."

"Hmm . . . " Rouge stifled a sigh—the bouquet was half dandelions. Still, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. She looped some of the flowers together deftly and tucked them over her ears. The rest she kept in a little bouquet.

"And one for you," she joked, tucking a daisy behind Shadow's ear. She'd expected him to growl and toss it aside crossly, but instead he pulled it off his head and gravely tucked it into the edge of the fur-fluff on his chest, like a carnation in the buttonhole of a suit. She stifled a grin and said nothing.

The time for the parade came near. Rouge and Shadow were dismayed at the entry fee, but managed to argue it down to a lower amount. Their peculiar appearance may have helped.

"I still can't believe I'm doing this," groaned Shadow, looking with dismay upon the strangely-outfitted motorcycle.

"Well, believe it," said Rouge cheerfully.

"I'm backing out."

Rouge caught a retreating Shadow by the wrist.

"Ohhhh, no you don't. We already paid the entry fee. Come on, we'll be the best in the show, I promise!"

"You, as the echidna says, are batty," grumbled Shadow, climbing despairingly onto the motorcycle.

As soon as they got a look at the competition, their hearts sank; they didn't stand a chance. The other vehicles were pretty stunning, evidently the product of days or even weeks of work—and higher budgets. But they really couldn't back out now—they had already been assigned a place in the line.

"I'm gonna be sick," groaned Rouge, leaning her forehead on the back of Shadow's neck.

"Don't you dare. Half of success lies in the presentation," growled Shadow under his breath. "Sit up straight, look confident, smile if it suits you. Act like you know this is the best vehicle in the whole freakin' parade, and you'll fool everyone else into thinking there's something special about this junkheap."

Even sick as she felt, Rouge couldn't resist.

"Oh, is that how you keep up the whole Ultimate-Life-Form reputation? Sheer confidence?"

"Put a sock in it."

They put on their best confident expressions and proceeded, the streamers flapping, the tin cans rattling behind them. Sure enough, they got quite a lot of appreciation from the crowd, no less than anyone else in the parade, maybe even a little more. By the end of the parade, Rouge was smiling for real.

"That was kind of fun!" she admitted, as the vehicles lined up at the end of the parade route so the judges could see them. "I know we won't win, but at least we didn't make total fools of ourselves."

"Sez you."

Rouge elbowed him playfully. They waited patiently as the judges went from vehicle to vehicle. They didn't stop too long in front of the motorcycle, but they did seem to be very smiley all the while.

"A very nice job, considering. You poor ducks were on a budget, I see," cooed one of the judges. "What a beautiful way to make the best of everything, even in adversity. All our congratulations."

"Well thanks," said Rouge politely.

"A lot of time wasted on this, still," muttered Shadow under his breath. "Let's go."

"No, I want to see who won!"

Shadow shut his eyes, but said nothing.

To nobody's great surprise, a spectacularly tie-dye painted sparkly pickup truck with Christmas light formations on top won first prize. Before Shadow could drag Rouge out of there, however, he heard his name being called over the speaker system. Rouge's too. The two of them looked at each other in surprise.

"Shadow the Hedgehog and Rouge the Bat," called the announcer again. "Will you please step up to the front?"

Wonderingly, they stepped up.

"It's your lucky day, you two," smiled the announcer. "The judges were so touched by your entry that they told the event sponsor about it. And our sponsor thought it was so sweet that he threw in a special extra prize, just for you! You've just won a hundred dollars. And congratulations on your marriage! You have a wonderful life ahead of you."

"Thank you very much, sir," said Shadow calmly, steadying Rouge with one hand. They didn't call him the Ultimate Life Form for nothing.