Author's forenote: First of all, I would like to apologise for the length of this chapter at more than six thousand words long. Normally, I would prefer to split chapters up. But in this case, I feel that everything needs to stay in one chapter as events in the beginning and middle of the chapter directly impact on those at the end.

Also, I would like to thank author Ladyofdarkstar for her collaboration in this story. I thank her for the use of her OC Jentessa Motti. I would like to mention that the turbolift scene later in this chapter also appears in chapter 10 of Ladyofdarkstar's story - Family Ties II. I recommend reading the story as it ties in directly with this one. Plus it is a great story.

CHAPTER 29 - DISHARMONY

The next day, I woke up with a blazing headache. That was unusual. Usually, we awake feeling fresh and brimming with energy, anxious to carry out our duty in the name of the Emperor.

But today, I could hardly crawl out of my bunk. My head ached. My body ached. I felt exhausted. Both emotionally and physically exhausted. I sat up on the edge of my bunk and put my head in my hands. It felt just like a hangover. Or at least what I imagined a hangover to be like.

As a devoted servant of the Emperor, I have always believed that I should keep a clear head at all times. I have never allowed myself to become drunk and thus do know what it is like to have a hangover caused by alcohol. So as I sat there with my pounding head and aching limbs, I imagined that this was probably what a hangover would feel like.

I looked around the sleeping quarters and noted that I was not alone in my suffering. Nearly every other trooper was lethargically crawling from his bunk, holding his head and groaning in despair. The only exception was Skeen. He seemed to be the only one who was fresh and full of energy. He looked around at us with a bemused expression on his face.

I managed to get up off my bunk and stagger towards the fresher. I stumbled past Harmony's bunk, the covers still undisturbed. I remembered that she was dead. Killed by a traitor in the mission of the previous day.

Suddenly, I found myself experiencing a flood of sounds, images and other sensations that reminded me of Harmony. I saw her smiling as she looked into my eyes. I heard her giggle as she teased me about my supposed infatuation with Jentessa Motti. I remembered the smell and touch of her skin as we lay together in her bunk.

A wave of of sorrow and despair swept over me as I realised that I would never see or speak to Harmony again. I felt myself lean against the wall beside her empty bunk to stop myself from collapsing to the floor, as more images of her swamped my mind. I felt an almost overpowering desire to weep. I put my face in my hands to hide my anxiety. With great shame, I desperately repeated my oath to the Emperor to give me strength in my moment of despair.

It worked, at least temporarily. I managed to regain control of my emotions and pull myself away from the wall. I looked up, half expecting the other troopers to be looking at me with curiosity or disdain. But they were all too busy struggling with their own hangover to notice my distress.

I made my way, to the fresher and washed myself. I could hear the other troopers moaning and groaning around me. But I hardly noticed them. No one said a word to each other. They all just washed and then went to their bunks to get changed. The fresher made me feel a little better. But not much.

I eventually finished in the fresher and made my way back to my bunk where I put on my off-duty jump suit. Then I made my way to the mess to eat with the others.

In the mess, it became evident that nearly every trooper there was suffering the same hangover symptoms as us. There was a low murmur as some troopers quietly talked among themselves. Most just ate quietly or sat with their heads in their hands.

As usual, all members of our squad sat together. Yalasa sat right beside the wall as she normally did. No one sat opposite her in the place where Harmony would normally sit. No one would dare. With great sadness, I realised that Harmony would never eat with us ever again. I remembered how Harmony used to chat and giggle joyfully with Yalasa in the mess. I closed my eyes as another wave of grief swept over me.

I sat directly to the left of Harmony's empty place. On my right, there was another empty chair where Bloor would have sat if he was with us. I remembered that Bloor had also been killed in the previous mission. Again, everyone left Bloor's place free as if he was still alive. It was not tradition to leave an empty chair for a fallen fellow trooper. But in this case, we left a place for both him and Harmony. As if we couldn't yet accept that they were gone.

I found myself sitting between the two empty chairs. Yalasa, Mandala and Davos sat opposite me, all looking bleary eyed and exhausted. Davos stared blankly into the space where Bloor would normally be sitting in front of him. Mandala, who was opposite me, sat head down staring at his tray. Skeen sat on the edge of our group, still looking fresh-faced and relatively contented.

Yalasa sat with a blank expression on her face. It reminded me of the time when I sat with Yalasa in the mess after the Tantive mission just over two weeks before. I remembered how she barely managed to contain the emotions building within her. That day, Yalasa had lost Noremac. This time, Yalasa had now lost Harmony. I was sure that Yalasa was feeling that same deep sense of loss all over again. This time I knew how she felt. Because I felt it too.

I looked over to Skeen who was quietly eating from his tray. Up to now, I had not given Skeen much thought since he returned. I was too occupied with our mission against the traitors to think about him.

But now, I started to remembered how Skeen's incompetence had resulted in the failure of our critical mission on Tatooine, ultimately causing the death of Speeler and Captain Terrik. I felt a surge of bitterness as I remembered how we executed Speeler as part of the Decimation process. I always believed that Skeen should have been the one standing against the wall in front of our firing squad. Not Speeler.

I scowled at Skeen across the table. "What are you doing here, Skeen?" I snapped at him.

Skeen looked up at me in surprise. He was obviously taken aback by my sudden aggressive attitude towards him. Davos and Mandala also looked at him, awaiting his reply. Yalasa showed no interest. She continued to stare blankly in front of her.

"Why did you come back here? After what you did on Tatooine?"

Skeen looked at me perplexed. "What do you mean? I have never been to Tatooine. I don't know what you are talking about."

"You were the commanding NCO on Tatooine when we failed the mission." I scoffed in disdain. "Don't you remember that, Skeen? After the Tantive mission, we lost Speeler because of you."

"I don't know what you mean." Skeen really seemed to mean what he said. "I came here straight from the academy. I have never been to Tatooine. I never took part in the Tantive mission. I don't know who Speeler is. I have never met any of you before I came to the Death Star."

Davos, Mandala and I looked at Skeen wide-eyed. Skeen sat there looking at each of is in perplexed silence.

"I am just a regular trooper fresh out the academy." Continued Skeen, obviously disconcerted. "I have never been an NCO."

Davos, Manadala and I looked at each other in shocked realisation. Even Yalasa stirred from her trance-like state to to look over at Skeen with an expression of vague interest on her face.

Of course, we all knew what had happened. They had wiped Skeen's memory from the time he had left the academy. Skeen truly believed that he was a newly gradulated trooper who had just been assigned to his first unit. As far as Skeen was concerned, he had never taken part in the Tantive mission, he never went to Tatooine and he had never met any of us before.

We just sat in silence after that. I now understood why they had sent Skeen back to us. They were demonstrating what they could do if we failed to serve the will of the Emperor. They could take away our memories at any time.

I looked over at Skeen again. This time he had his head down over his tray, not daring to look at us. I considered that Skeen was extermely fortunate. Despite his failure, he had been given a second chance to serve the Emperor and redeem his honour. Any dishonoured stormtrooper would feel fortunate to be given such a second chance, even at the cost of a few years of memory. We only existed to serve the Emperor. Trivial and transient things like memories were unimportant compared to our service to the Emperor.

I reminded myself that our superior officers, in their superior wisdom, had made the decision to send Skeen back to us. I reluctantly accepted that it was the will of the Emperor that Skeen should serve in our squad. We were honour bound to accept him. I decided to ignore Skeen and concentrated on eating my rations.

As I ate, my headache and feeling of lethargy started to dissipate. Physically, I started to feel much stronger and energetic. I had a good idea why I was feeling better. I was sure that it was because of the medication that they put in our rations.

All of us know that our food is sometimes laced with drugs that enhance our performance as imperial stormtroopers. Rumours are rife as to what types of drugs are used and how often they are applied. Normally we don't notice the effect of the drugs applied to us on a day to day basis. We eat, sleep and do our duty. We rarely notice any significant changes that would suggest we are being drugged. To the extent that we are never sure if they are administering drugs to us or not.

However, there are times when we know for sure that a drug has been administered to us. And this was one of these times.

There is one particular drug which the stormtrooper academy administers to stormtroopers recruits. It is a strong conditioning drug that enhances our devotion and dedication to fulfilling the will of the Emperor. Long term exposure to the drug can result in severe brain-damage. So we are only kept on the drug for a few weeks. When they took us off the drugs, the withdrawal effects were severe, causing us all to suffer headaches, lethargy and increased emotional sensitivity. And that was just exactly what I was feeling this morning.

I was sure that our superior officers must have put us on the conditioning drug again for a short time. I do not know why they did it, but they must have concluded that it was necessary. As far as I was concerned, if administering the drug made us more efficient and effective in serving the will of the Emperor, then I would willingly embrace and accept any harm or discomfort that it caused me.

Only Skeen seemed unaffected. I assumed that Skeen was still in the shuttle on the way to the Death Star when the rest of us received the drug in our rations. That is why he did not receive a dose and was not suffering from withdrawal.

I looked around the mess again, my head now a lot clearer. Many troopers were clearly affected from withdrawal symptoms of the conditioning drug, suffering from headaches and lethargy. Many were also more irritable than usual. Occasionally, voices were raised as an argument broke out between squad members. Behaviour like that was normally rare in a stormtrooper mess. We normally reserved our aggression for the battlefield or the training hall.

One time, a scuffle even broke out between two clones as an argument turned physical. Fortunately, their squad mates intervened before a full scale brawl could break out or anyone was killed or injured. There would be no clone fratricide this time.


After finishing our meals, we reported to the parade hall where we would be presented to our new NCO. As usual, we were required to equip ourselves in stormtrooper armour for the presentation. Shortly after entering the hall and standing to attention in a line, a lieutenant in the usual black stormtrooper officer uniform walked up to us. He was accompanied by a sergeant in stormtrooper armour.

The lieutenant presented us to our new squad sergeant. His name was Dreyfus. The lieutenant departed almost immediately, leaving us with our new squad leader. Sergeant Dreyfus took off his helmet and looked at each one of us. It was yet another clone. I expected he would be another harsh, arrogant, unimaginative clone like Klaus.

I couldn't be more wrong.

The first thing sergeant Dreyfus did was to step in front of Yalasa. I expected him to throw the usual insults at her. But instead, he smiled at her. Not the malicious smile of contempt and hatred that Klaus used to display so much. But a smile full of warmth

"Step forward, corporal Yalasa." Said sergeant Dreyfus. Yalasa obeyed and advanced two paces.

Yalasa had been promoted. That did not completely surprised me. Despite being a woman, she had proven herself to be a capable leader and soldier. Despite my reservations about female stormtroopers, I believed that Yalasa deserved to be an NCO.

What did surprise me was the the expression of genuine delight on sergeant Dreyfus' face. It was rare to see a stormtrooper sergeant show any overt demonstration of joy. Never mind a clone who had just promoted a woman to corporal.

Sergeant Dreyfus ordered us all to stand at ease and take off our helmets. We did as he ordered. Then he stepped forward and put his right hand on Yalasa's shoulder.

"It is good to see you again, corporal Yalasa." Sergeant Dreyfus smiled warmly at her. "It has been too long. I knew you would make a fine stormtrooper. It is an honour to serve with you."

Yalasa stood expressionless in front of him. "Yes, sir." Was all she said in reply.

I frowned in confusion and suspicion as I heard sergeant Dreyfus praise Yalasa. A stormtrooper NCO praising a female trooper was almost unheard of. I found the whole thing unsettling.

Sergeant Dreyfus ordered Yalasa to stand beside him so that she was facing us. He told us that Yalasa was his second in command and all her orders should be obeyed without question, unless countermanded by an officer or NCO of superior rank. That was, of course, something that we already knew. Yalasa stood beside him impassively, the blank emotionless expression on her face, contrasting with the disturbing smiles that sergeant Dreyfus threw at each one of us from time to time.

Sergeant Dreyfus informed us that Yalasa and I had been assigned to a special mission. In the meantime, he would take command of the rest of the squad on standard patrol and guard duty.

Afterwards, sergeant Dreyfus pulled Yalasa and I aside. He informed us that we had been assigned an urgent escort mission. We were to escort Leia Organa between detention blocks again. Both Yalasa and I stood blank-faced as he told us.

Sergeant Dreyfus dismissed us with another one of his disturbing smiles. Yalasa and I made our may to the armoury to ensure we were properly equipped. Although we were in stormtrooper armour and armed with an E-11 blasters, we were only really equipped for parade and marching drills. We needed to go to the armoury to equip ourselves with further blaster cartridges and ensure that our communication and location devices were in working order. Also, when escorting VIPs and prisoners, we were required to equip ourselves with a radiation shield in case there was a radiation leak. The shield was almost never used. But it was standard equipment for such missions.

This time we were on an 9641A(LO) prisoner escort mission. As usual, we were required to escort Organa, protecting her with our lives where necessary.

However, it was more flexible than the 4669A order we were operating under when Straven was killed. The 9641 order allowed us to stun or gag the prisoner if she became disruptive. Our officers obviously recognised how dangerous Leia Organa could be. However, we were still required to allow her to speak to some extent. Imperial High command obviously still hoped that Organa may give away some rebel secrets as we escorted her through the station.

After equipping ourselves, Yalasa and I stood for a moment face-to-face with our helmets off. She looked at me with a blank expression on her face. I wondered if she could sense the anxiety and emotional pain that I felt within me. I wondered if she felt the same pain as I did. For a minute, I thought she would say nothing. Then she extended her right hand and placed it on my shoulder, looking deeply into my eyes.

"The Emperor wills that we complete this mission." She paused a moment, allowing her words to sooth my troubled soul. "If we have faith in him and each other, we shall succeed this day."

I also extended my right hand and placed it on Yalasa's left shoulder. For a moment, we both stood there, face-to-face, our right hand on the other's left shoulder. Two fellow imperial stormtroopers united in their determination to serve the Emperor.

Another wave of emotion swept over me. I couldn't bear to look any longer into Yalasa's eyes, fearing that I would lose myself forever. So I looked down, averting my eyes from hers.

"Yes, corporal." Was all I said in return. I didn't need to address her by rank. We were still officially off-duty. But it comforted me in that moment to use her rank rather than her name.


When we turned up at Organa's detention cell, she recognised us immediately.

"You two again?" She said, rolling her eyes to the ceiling."There are hundreds of thousands of stormtroopers in the galaxy. But they always send me you two delightful love birds."

As usual, we bound her hands in front of her, before escorting her out of the cell into the detention block corridor. I sensed that Organa seemed slightly more hesitant than usual. I noted with satisfaction and relief that she hadn't quoted our orders to us this time. She clearly wasn't sure what our orders were. In consequence, she couldn't be sure how we would react if she tried to manipulate and provoke us with her insidious and corrupting influence. However, despite her uncertainty, she would not be deterred. Only Leia Organa would be so bold.

"So where are your clone and psychopath friends this time?" Organa displayed a malicious grin on her face. "Or are they...indisposed."

"Silence!" Yalasa shoved Organa forward with the butt of her rifle. Organa looked back at Yalasa a little startled. Yalasa had shoved Organa much more brutally than in previous escort mission. Yalasa was clearly signalling to Organa that we would not tolerate dissent or disobedience this time.

Organa kept quiet until we left the detention block and were walking down the corridor towards the turbolift. For a moment, I thought Organa would remain quiet for the whole mission. But we were not so fortunate. Organa turned her attention to Yalasa.

"I see you are a corporal, now." Organa said to Yalasa. "Congratulations! It looks like all those innocent and defenceless people you murdered finally paid off."

I struck Organa lightly in the side with my rifle butt causing her to yelp with pain. "Silence!" I said.

Clearly annoyed, Organa turned her full attention to me.

"Ah, defending your girlfriend, loverboy." She said. That caused a shiver to go down my spine. "By the way, how is your mother?"

Yalasa shoved Organa forward again. "The prisoner will remain silent!"

Organa ignored Yalasa and continued talking.

"I presume they told you she was dead" Again Organa smiled maliciously at me, revelling in her lies and deceit. "Well, let me enlighten you, my rebel friend. Your mother is alive. Or should I say, your step-mother. She is probably nursing a new orphan boy whose parents were murdered by the Empire. The Empire lied to you. Whatever your dear step-mother mother told you about your past is a fabrication."

"I said silence!" Yalasa shoved Organa forward again.

Despite the venomous words spouting from Organa's mouth, I listened to her lies with calm. I knew my mother was dead. I knew Organa was trying to turn me mad like she did with Skeen and Straven. But nothing she said about my mother would ever disturb me. My mother was a devoted and loyal citizen of the Empire. She was a source of strength for me.

We continued walking down the corridor towards the turbolift. As we approached the turbolift door, Organa looked up at me again.

"You act calm, my rebel friend. But I know you are troubled."

Then as we reached the turbolift door, Organa turned to face me. She stood directly in front of me. What she said next was strange, unexpected and extremely disturbing.

"I can tell that you have lost your harmony." Said Organa, a sly smile playing on her lips.

With the mention of the word harmony, I froze and felt a cold shiver run down the length of my body. I felt Organa's eyes upon me. It was as if her gaze was worming its way into my soul. In a flash, I felt emotions of weakness surge through me: Compassion, empathy, grief, sorrow...love. Emotions that I felt ashamed to experience.

I looked at Organa. The expression of fear and doubt etched on her face surprised me. Of course, it was not fear of death or pain. Fanatics like Organa do not fear such things. It was as if she was afraid of what she had seen within me. As if the certainties that had formed her delusional world were now somehow in doubt. She had seen a stormtrooper feel love, grief and sorrow. That was something she obviously did not expect, nor indeed, want to see.

Yalasa was not impressed with Organa's attempts to provoke and manipulate me. Yalasa grabbed Organa and pushed her away from me, pinning her brutally against a wall with one hand. With a start, I suddenly felt a cloud lift from my mind. My consciousness returned to me and my mind was suddenly clear again. In my weakened emotional state, I realised in horror that Organa had managed to invaded my spirit. By pushing Organa against the wall, Yalasa had broken the link between us.

I must have flinched because I saw Yalasa shift position, placing herself between me and Organa. Yalasa clearly believed I could be a danger to the mission.

"Trooper LC-9087!" I heard Yalasa's male synthesised voice on the private comlink. I knew she would shoot me in a second if I did not respond immediately. The sound of my commanding NCO's voice brought me out of the trance-like state I had fallen into.

"Everything is under control, corporal." I responded as firmly as I could. I placed myself in the guard position and stood motionless. I saw Yalasa relax again, although still alert.

"Gag, the prisoner!" Yalasa ordered me in her male synthesised voice. Yalasa was obviously in no mood to tolerate Organa's games today. I opened my utility belt and grabbed the tape we used to gag prisoners.

"No wait, please." Organa pleaded. "I will stay silent. I promise."

After a slight pause, Yalasa ordered me through private comlink to put the gagging tape away. Although, we were in our right to gag Organa, we were supposed only to do so when the prisoner demonstrated persistent disobedience. For the moment, Organa seemed to be demonstrating a willingness to cooperate.

Yalasa grabbed Organa and shoved her face first against the turbolift door

"The prisoner will look forward! And the prisoner will remain completely silent!"

For once, Organa did what she was told. At least for the time being.

We all waited in silence until the turbolift arrived. We entered and Yalasa selected our destination on the control panel. All was quiet as the turbolift moved off. Organa stood between us in silence. She seemed to have a worried expression on her face. For once, she did not try to provoke us with her poisonous words of hate, lies and treason.

I thought we would get through the mission without further incident. But as I have learned from bitter experience, escort missions with Organa never go smoothly.

The first thing that happened was that a general alert sounded in the station. This would require any civilians to immediately leave any military areas of the Death Star. Then the turbolift we were in unexpectedly stopped.

The turbo lift door opened. Two stormtroopers and a female civilian entered.

I realised with surprise that the civilian was Jentessa Motti, accompanied by her two stormtrooper bodyguards. That situation was unexpected. In theory, our turbolift should not have been stopped before reaching its destination. However, I knew that Jentessa Motti was protected under a critical priority 0000A order which would allow her troopers to intercept and board any turbolift, if they deemed it necessary to lead Miss Motti to safety. Given that a general alert had sounded, Miss Motti's guards would be obliged to evacuate her immediately on the first turbolift that passed their location.

It was evident from the start that Organa and Miss Motti knew each other well. As the lift started to move off again, the two young women started to talk. We let them speak. We had no instructions to prevent Organa speaking to other civilians who came across our path. In fact, we hadn't expected to meet any civilians at all during the transfer.

At first, the conversation was friendly. But quickly, they started to argue, with Miss Motti accusing Organa of being involved in a plot to murder a diplomat friend of hers called Andryl Kuron. Organa denied involvement, blaming it on the Empire, spouting her usual stream of rebel lies and treason. In fact, Organa even suggested that imperial stormtroopers were involved in the assassination.

Yalasa ordered me to stay on high alert by internal comlink. Organa's treasonous words alone were not a reason for us to intervene. However, we monitored the situation carefully, looking for any signs that the situation may get out of control. We did not know the stormtroopers guarding Miss Motti. We did not know how they would react to Organa. Nor what corrupting influence she could have over them.

Then unexpectedly, Organa turned to me. She did not speak to me with her usual taunts and provocations. This time her tone was unusually polite and respectful.

"Am I right, trooper?" Organa said to me. "Of all my escorts, you have always remained the most level headed. Perhaps that is why you and the woman are always with me. Tell the lovely Miss Motti that I am wrong. Except that you know I am right,"

Organa rose up on her tiptoes, to look right through the eye slots of my helmet visor. "Just like I am right in everything I have said about you and your friends."

I knew that Organa's words were meant as a provocation. She was undoubtedly referring to her previous comments about my mother and Yalasa's promotion. But we soon found out that the provocation was not meant for us. It was meant for Miss Motti.

And it worked. Miss Motti suddenly reacted with rage and grabbed at Organa. The two young women spun round so that their positions were inverted. Leia was now in front of Miss Motti's stormtrooper guards. While Miss Motti found herself in front of us.

"I've had enough!" Replied Miss Motti. To my bemusement, she seemed to be defending us against Organa. "Do not ever—ever—disparage these people that risk everything to save our lives. To give us peace while you and your kind destroy it. I'll personally stop you before you so much as harm any of them with your poisonous words."

"My truths you mean," Replied Organa.

Organa was now clearly angry with Miss Motti. Smiling maliciously again, Organa turned to face one of Miss Motti's guards. Everything was suddenly in a state of confusion. Miss Motti screamed as Organa spoke to the stormtrooper in front of her.

"So, Sergeant," Organa said sweetly to one of Miss Motti's guards. "Who was your father? Let me guess, they told you that he was an Imperial fighter pilot. Am I correct?"

Organa was making the same assertion of lies and deceit that she had made to Skeen and myself in previous escort missions. Her lies had eventually driven Skeen mad on Tatooine. They had never affected me. But they had a disastrous and immediate impact on Miss Motti's stormtrooper guards.

I could see both Miss Motti's guards start to fidget as Leia addressed them. I realised with horror that Organa was going to do it again. She was going to corrupt more loyal soldiers of the Empire with her insidious influence. Just like she had done with Straven a few days before.

"Don't look so surprised." Organa continued speaking to the stormtrooper with her diatribe of lies. "Many stormtroopers are told their fathers are pilots who die gloriously fighting for the Galactic Empire. But you know what I think? I think your parents were rebels and the Empire killed them. The Empire lied to you."

For a moment, everyone stood in silence. But I immediately knew that there was something wrong by the way Miss Motti's guards started to make subtle erratic movements not associated with disciplined imperial stormtroopers.

I don't know how Organa managed to affect them so quickly this time. Perhaps it was the increased emotional instability caused by the withdrawal of the conditioning drug. Perhaps these troopers were more susceptible than usual to Organa's influence. Whatever, the reason, I could immediately see that both of Miss Motti's guards started to raise their blasters. I was sure they were intending to kill Organa.

Yalasa had noticed it too and reacted immediately. For a moment, we all stood seemingly in silence. But even before, the two stormtroopers on the other side of the turbollift raised their blaster, Yalasa was already taking action.

"Activate emergency protocol." Yalasa spoke urgently to me through the comm-link. "Get Organa out of here now!"

Yalasa slammed her hand on the emergency stop icon by the lift door, causing the lift to immediately halt at the nearest stop. Just as the lift doors began to open, I launched myself forward towards Organa. Before anyone else had a chance to react, I grabbed Organa and threw her out of the lift entrance. I fired a stun bolt into her body just as she landed on the floor in the corridor outside. I then threw myself out of the turbolift door after her. The whole action only lasted a couple of seconds.

I am not sure what happened next. There was blaster fire from inside the lift. I saw and heard blaster rounds rebound several times off the turbolift surfaces. Then I saw the turbolift disappear from view as it, and all its occupants, plummeted into the depths of the Death Star.

I had no time to ponder the fate of Yalasa or Miss Motti. Nor did I have time to ponder why the turbolift had malfunctioned, nor where it had gone. My primary objective was to ensure that Organa was safe and secure as per my mission objective. I checked Organa's status and noted that she was alive and unharmed. I dragged her to a wall and stood guard over her unconscious body. I immediately reported the situation to stormtrooper command by comlink. A few minutes later, a relief squad turned up and took possession of Organa's unconscious body. I was ordered to return to the stormtrooper zone of the Death Star for debriefing.


After changing into my off-duty jump-suit, I went to my sleeping quarters to consult my datapad. To my surprise and slight consternation, I found sergeant Dreyfus was waiting for me by my bunk, wearing his black dress stormtrooper uniform. Apart from Sergeant Dreyfus and me, there was no one else in the sleeping quarters.

Sergeant Dreyfus had a concerned expression on his face. He told me that Yalasa and Miss Motti were missing. Search teams were being organised to look for them. It surprised me that sergeant Dreyfus gave me that information. Normally, NCOs gave regular troopers no information on missing, wounded or dead fellow troopers.

Then sergeant Dreyfus put his hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes. I looked down nervously, avoiding his gaze.

"I have known Yalasa since before she was a stormtrooper." Sergeant Dreyfus told me. "She is a born fighter. If there is a way to survive, she will find it. I am sure of it."

"Yes, sir." I replied. I had nothing more to say. I felt uncomfortable. I felt sick.

It suddenly began to dawn on me that Yalasa was gone. I felt my head spin as I realised that I could lose Yalasa forever. That I may never see her again. I felt a rush of anxiety course through my body. I put my hand on my head and steadied myself against the side of my bunk.

Under normal circumstances, most NCOs would have screamed and shouted at me at that point. They would have insulted me, telling me that I was a disgrace to the stormtrooper corps. That I was pathetic and weak willed. They would have told me to snap out of it. They would have threatened me with Penance duty and even administrative punishment. I expected it. I wanted it. I needed it.

But sergeant Dreyfus did not do any of these things. Instead, he said the worst thing he could have possibly said.

"I know that Yalasa was a very close companion of yours." Dreyfus spoke calmly and considerately. "Just as Noremac and Harmony were. Believe me, son. I understand how you feel."

For the first time in my life, I wished that sergeant Klaus was standing in front of me. He would have screamed insults at me and reminded me that my duty was to serve the Emperor. He would have reminded me that I had something to live and fight for.

But Klaus was not there. Instead, sergeant Dreyfus stood in front of me...reminding me of what I had lost.

"Now get some rest for a couple of hours." Said Sergeant Dreyfus. "And freshen up. You will be debriefed in a couple of hours."

Sergeant Dreyfus exited the quarters, leaving me alone. I looked around me. I saw the empty bunks of Yalasa, Harmony, Bloor and Timor. Bunks of fellow trooper I had lost. I started to feel the lethargy and headaches of my previous withdrawal symptoms return, this time with even greater intensity.

I found myself vividly remembering a recent event in the mess. Harmony and Timor exchanged banter with each other as Yalasa and Bloor looked on laughing. I realised with sadness that all four were gone now. I found myself in a cold sweat as images of my lost fellow troopers paraded before my eyes.

I decided to take a shower. I removed my clothes and staggered into the communal wash area. I felt the water vapour thick in the air all around me. It didn't help. It seemed to make my condition worse.

Images of all my fellow troopers who had died in the last three weeks flashed before my eyes: Harmony, Noremac, Speeler, Bloor, Brynnar, Thanos, Yanir, Jensen, Captain Terrik, Kell and even Straven.

I felt my head start to throb with agony. I put my head in my hands in a vain effort to relieve the pain. It didn't work.

I saw the face of my dead mother look at me, an expression of disappointment on her face. I felt my whole body go cold and numb. I felt frozen and lonely to the core.

I saw the face of Timor laughing at me as he so often did. Mocking me. I felt light-headed and found myself wavering on my feet.

I saw the image of Yalasa standing before me. She looked into my eyes, her right hand placed on my left shoulder just as she had done in the armoury; the last time I had seen her face. At that moment, I understood that I would probably never see her again. I felt a crushing emptiness within me. I found myself overwhelmed by an intense feeling of sorrow and grief, remembering all I had lost.

I felt so alone.

Exhausted, I sank to the floor and crouched down in one of the corners of the shower area. With my head in my hands, I tried to recite my oath to the Emperor. But to my great shame, I couldn't remember the words.

With a deep sense of shame and dishonour, I realised that I was a broken man. For the first time in my adult life since my entry in the stormtrooper academy, I started to sob.

I sat cold and alone in the corner, drowning in a flood of my own tears.


PSYCHOLOGICAL REVIEW

REVIEW OF JOURNAL - TROOPER LC 9087

The conditioning drug withdrawal symptoms have been more severe than we expected. Most troopers are suffering from severe headaches, lethargy and increased emotional sensitivity. We have changed the mix of medication in their rations to counteract the most severe negative physical effects. Some troopers who have recently suffered emotional stress, or who are particularly sensitive to the drug, may experience hallucinations and depression.

Trooper LC-9087 is clearly suffering from severe emotional instability. We believe his condition has been caused by 1) The high emotional stress experienced during recent operations and 2) the heightened emotional sensitivity caused by the conditioning drug's withdrawal symptoms. This combination of the two factors appears to be causing LC-9087 visions, hallucinations and extreme feelings of depression. The emotional instability of LC-9087 should only last a couple of days. His status should be monitored to ensure there is no lasting damage. If the condition persists, a memory adjustment procedure should be considered.

Due the temporary reduced effectiveness that all troopers will experience during the withdrawal period, ideally only routine patrol and guard duties should be carried out where possible for the next two days.