Believe in Me
Disclaimer: I only own Eisa, my own plot points, and incidental OCs!
A/N: It's short but dense :3 And here's the upshot: the next (also brief-ish) chapter is all Durins. *drools slightly* I'm so pleased to see you all enjoying the story, and boy am I glad I didn't lose too many of you during my unplanned hiatus! Nutella and Cheerios for everyone! :D (College problems strike again.) Note: Although the consensus has been that I should do some more detailed fillers and wait to see the movie (since I'm basing this on movie-verse), I still need advice on logistics, but I'm about to put up another poll, so answer away when you get the chance!
Thank you especially to: cheymon, i am a Fire-jay (Glad to hear it :D), Hiding in the Shadow (Thanks! It makes me kind of nervous focusing events around incidental OCs, so that's good to hear. And I believe you get your wish for a constructive conversation here ;), Singer of Water (I just had to, haha. Cute children therapy, works every time :D), TheQueenofErynLagasryn (Thank you very much! Glad you've started following!), Fellowship of Avengers (Heh. My thinking exactly. Mirkwood foreshadowing, question mark? xD Aw aren't they?), Amber (N'aawwww, thanks dear! I'm so excited that you went and checked it out~ I worry about anatomy and stuff like that sometimes since I'm entirely self-taught, but yay for warm fuzzies! :3 And I mean...who doesn't have a minor spaz-attack at the mere mention of Aragorn, let's be honest. Heh, perhaps...we'll see how that plays out; he is still just a kid, though, which makes it adorable :P), LovingBOBThePacific (Oh thank goodness I'm not the only one! I practically went into cardiac arrest! O_o Eh, male dwarves, whatcha gonna do. Thanks!), Pyrassion (Thank you very much! :D), Angel of the Night Watchers (Thank you! Argh, precisely. Thranduil's kind of a dick, whereas Elrond's the man. Er, the elf. You know), Immortal Horse (Oh, foreshadowing is Everywhere... ;), Kristenbazinga, the Random Oliphaunt (Of course, I just couldn't help myself! xD Oh my Valar, I can't wait to see DoS, I'm dying to see if I have the chance to throw in some hardcore jail cell scenes x'D), Ravens. hope, Abyss Prime (Thank you! :D), Fluff loving guest (Mm, it has been a bit lacking lately, hasn't it... Oh well, can't rush things, but there'll be some more before too long :P Thanks for the advice! 'Tis much appreciated :), prstrxd, voided, byakugone, AemiKili (Don't you just want one?! Gah~ Oho, I see! N'aww. Yeah, gotta love Kili x'D Thanks!), AdurnaGirl, celtic-roses, and all the rest of the readers!
Chapter Twenty-Eight
In Which We Reach an Understanding
Eisa returned to her room later that evening with a good bit less on her mind. Spending a day with the children had done her good—besides, she had needed to rest her sore muscles. Not that supervising little ones didn't produce enough aches and pains on its own.
She had been a bit harsh on the Company, and she needn't have lashed out at Dwalin. For what it was worth, she was fairly sure that the big dwarf liked her, and she in turn respected him and his position. And the discrepancies in their views certainly weren't his fault, so she planned to apologize to him in the morning.
Not that anyone would know she was still alive, she thought with a snort as she splashed her face again with water from the basin (she had just gotten out of the bath). She'd seen neither hide nor hair of another dwarf all day. Maybe she ought to try and be a bit less…abrasive?
…Oh, abrasive, my arse. I'm absolutely right about at least half of this shite and we all know it. She aggressively pulled on her nightgown before shaking her head hard and breathing deeply. This was no way to go to bed.
No sooner had she moved to blow out the lamps in the bedchamber than there was a knock on the door. Hastily, she pulled her damp and unruly hair back into a horsetail and tied it off. "Come in!" Then she muttered, "I think?" This isn't improper, right? She halted awkwardly by the foot of the bed.
The door opened excruciatingly slowly, and Eisa recognized the hand before she properly saw the owner. It was Kíli.
"Um…hello," he murmured, looking down, and Eisa's stomach seized violently. Oh, dear Valar, it was back. Why. Why was it back. Óin had assured her that it wasn't an allergy, but she was finding that increasing difficult to believe.
The first time she tried, no sound came out, but she coughed once and echoed, "Hello."
"Look—"
"Look, I—"
They both stopped, and Eisa sighed and leaned against the nearest bedpost. "Come in, then. You can shut the door."
He complied, looking torn between urgency and hesitation. "I just… I wanted to make sure you were alright," he said, turning to look at her.
"I'm fine. I just needed some time to think." Pressing her lips together, she pulled a strand of hair over her shoulder and began to braid it absently. "I'm sorry for acting…rashly, this morning. I'm going to take care of it tomorrow."
"But you don't need to—it wasn't—I—no, it was my—I know I made you angry," he almost pleaded, stepping forward, palms up. "I didn't mean to, it's just…I worry. Sometimes you just worry me. I know—" he raised his hands when Eisa opened her mouth— "I know no one is automatically evil because of the race they belong to. I've…you've helped me understand that I don't understand everything." That left her blinking. "But I worry because I'm afraid you're too willing to trust. I'm afraid that one of these days, you're going to be too kind to the wrong person, unconditionally, and that can be dangerous."
"It was unconditional when a group of them saved my life," she quietly told the floor to the left of Kíli's feet.
"Well, of course, but—"
"They thought I was a child. A human or elf one, that is. I wasn't even thirty, anyway. But it isn't like they stabbed me or anything once I told them what I was! Sometimes, in this world, you just have to be unconditional!" she nettled him, half intentionally, as her temper flared up again unbidden.
"Of course, but—well—that's different! That's because you're—!" He nearly bit off his tongue as he clamped down on the remainder of his words, and his eyes widened as he realized that he had been about to say, more or less, that she wasn't like the rest of them. Wasn't like him. Valar, that wasn't what he meant at all.
"What? I'm what?" she challenged, hands on her hips.
"Nothing," he snapped, turning his head away. "Never mind."
Her gray-hazel eyes narrowed, and she peered at him. "What if I were half-elven?" she deadpanned finally.
His neck cracked as he whipped his head around to stare at her again. The words 'was it in your name' were on the tip of his tongue, but he reeled them back as he realized that she wanted a theoretical reaction. "I…I'd be a little fascinated," his mouth said in the temporary absence of his brain. "I mean—I wouldn't suddenly change my opinion of you," he said more contemplatively, "because I already know what you're like. Who you are."
A little smile tugged suddenly at one corner of her mouth at his phrasing, and she sighed again. "You have to learn to be blind."
He blinked, and then her point clicked.
"Sounds strange, doesn't it?" she went on. Then she gave half a smirk. "But come on. Don't you think I have the sense to know when I'm going to get stabbed?"
He grinned sheepishly, and entirely on impulse, when the words just wouldn't come out he lunged forward and engulfed her in a hug. It surprised a laugh out of her, and a second later, her stomach began a series of leaps like it was trying to win a contest.
Proximity, it's definitely linked to proximity, she thought a bit dizzily as she burrowed her nose into the fabric of his shirt (it was still odd being clean all the time).
Releasing her, Kíli grinned, but as soon as Eisa saw his eyes, she fixed him with a look. "Something's still bothering you."
He froze, looking rather like a deer caught in a hunter's torchlight. Why in the names of all the Valar does she have to be so damn perceptive?! "…Er—"
"Don't bother trying to lie to me, either; you know it won't work."
There was something bothering him, but he hadn't had to put words to it just yet. He had been feeling…what would the word be? Not jealous; Eisa could do whatever she wanted with her time. And not any sort of angry; he was never able to get mad at her, not really, nor anyone she so much as looked at. (Inconvenient, that.) He was almost…paranoid. And he knew why; it was just that it was going to sound strange no matter which way it came out.
"I…" He cast his chocolate eyes to the side as she waited patiently, shifting on her bare feet. "I know it sounds strange and ridiculous, but I don't like the way—the way everyone looks at you."
Well, whatever she had been anticipating, it certainly wasn't that. In fact, she wasn't even sure she understood what he meant.
"What do you mea—" she began, then her brows furrowed and then shot up in alarm. "Wait, what do you mean 'everybody looks at me'? Is it really that bad?"
"I just mean—I can't really describe—wait, is what so bad?" he stumbled along, reeling slightly from the weird turns this conversation was taking.
"I mean…everyone stares at me at some point," Eisa stated as though it were obvious, but Kíli only looked more bewildered. "It's fairly normal; think about it. What did the entire damn Company do when you all came across me on the road for the first time?"
It was true, Kíli realized, and he began to think that maybe his impressions were misplaced. "Well…that's true. You seemed pretty unusual, after all—" they both chuckled— "but this is—I don't know—different. They just seem so…interested. In a really intense sort of way."
She gave half a snort and crossed her arms frankly over her chest. "Don't worry about it; it's only natural curiosity. And believe me, this is nothing. You get used to this sort of thing when you're funny-looking."
"You're what?" he blurted out, getting an expression on his face not unlike the one he had worn while realizing that she had grown up without a family. It was almost like she was misguided and all he could do was pity her. "That's…not the term I would use," he managed to say.
Her face rapidly began to heat up as she remembered quite clearly exactly what term he had used just a few nights ago. "And what would you use, then?" she asked in a hushed voice, practically against her own will.
"Well, there's got to be some word that fits you perfectly," he said matter-of-factly, desperately trying to shuck off his own slight embarrassment. "You're different from any dwarf I've ever seen, but you're also different from anyone I've seen at all. But you're a good kind of unique; it's like…" Suddenly, something struck him. "It's like the Valar decided to just put everything into a single person and give her all of the good things and none of the bad. Inside and out." He smiled proudly, and it was like the lamps flared and the room lit up.
Eisa stared for a moment as his words sank in. Her stomach seized up, as did her throat, and she felt as though she could have cried. "That's the nicest, most beautiful thing anyone's ever said to me," she finally declared as her throat freed up, and, throwing herself at him, she hugged him again with all her strength.
He wheezed, chuckled, and murmured "It's true" as his arms came around her.
Eventually Kíli left, after dozing off a couple times as they sat around and talked. Eisa had gathered up the skirts of her nightgown from where they had been bunched up beneath her and led him to the door, joking that maybe she ought to be the one to walk him back this time. Even though there were dark circles beginning to deepen under his eyes, he had laughed good-naturedly, stroked her hair almost absently, and backed out the door bidding her a good night.
