HUH! Not sure if you've heard that this story was nominated for an Energize W.I.P. Award In the category "Most promising Vampire Diaries FanFiction" (complete silence and then sounds of crickets fills the awkward pause)

*clears throat* Moving on, I just wanted to thank the person who nominated Separate Beds and if you are the one, *steely gaze on each and every one of you* please do let me know so that I can thank you properly and ask you what the heck it is. I wasn't aware of such a website before and what do I do with it now? Don't get me wrong, I'm honoured! This explains the sudden number of people who alerted /favourited this story since 2 days ago; they must have clicked on the link from the website. So thanks for generating more interest in this little fiction of mine.

On to more pressing matters, I just KNOW that I'd be giggling my way through this chapter. I'm in one of my moods again! Guess we'll see.

My twitter again, for those asking: cgsa_cher


Chapter 29: P-P-P-Poker Night (Otherwise known as A Series of Unfortunate Events)

(The following Saturday)

"I don't think we're doing this the right way," Ric muttered as he held on tight.

"Like you've done this before!" Damon huffed, his face red from exhaustion.

"I haven't, but it doesn't feel right. What we're doing now, someone could really get hurt if we're not careful," came Ric's uncertain respond.

"We are being careful, you wimp! I'm wearing protection, aren't I? Besides, you were the one who was so eager for this a few minutes ago! Now, shut up and hold it steady," Damon warned and then tried to push it in again, sweat pouring down his face.

"Hold on! It's not going to fit! I told you, this isn't the right way," Ric insisted, wincing in pain, his muscles straining uncomfortably.

"Jesus! How many ways are there to do it? This part of mine goes into that little hole of yours, and the rest, as they say, is history. Now just let me put it in there and we can be done before Elena comes up and finds us doing this!" Damon exclaimed, more loudly than he intended to. He really didn't want Elena to come running in and see what he and Ric were doing behind her and Jenna's backs, but it just had to be done; he'd put it off long enough.

"Before Elena finds you doing what, exactly?" came a female voice from the doorway, causing Damon to stiffen in mid-action without turning around. He'd recognized that voice anywhere in the world, even if he had wools stuffed in his ears! He sighed heavily and prepared himself for her reaction, whatever it may be.

"Elena, I can explain," he started saying but then was cut off when Stefan burst into the room.

"I got it! I found the manual!" the younger Salvatore cried out triumphantly before he realized that his sister-in-law was in the room with them, and then he gaped at her guiltily. "Elena! You-you weren't supposed to see this. We-we're just-" unable to come up with a suitable excuse, he gave up and gave his brother an apologetic look as if to say, 'You're on your own!'

"There's a manual? And you're only telling us now? Gee, thanks little brother! We could have been done with the surprise hours ago!" Damon rolled his eyes in exasperation and then he passed a long white rod he was holding to Stefan and walked towards his wife who was regarding him warily.

"In my defence, I wasn't hiding this from you, per se; it's a surprise for our daughter. But since you're here, well, welcome to our daughter's bedroom or nursery," he made a sweeping gesture with his arm towards the room while her eyes took in the transformed purple-walled room. Before, it had been a plain and empty room, it was now a little girl's room; with two identical white chests of drawers leaning against one wall with a full floor-to-ceiling height white-framed mirror in between them, a white rocking chair with dark purple cushions in a corner, a half-height two-door changer next to it, and of course, a half-assembled Corsican Cow-Jumped-Over-the-Moon Rocking Cradle that Elena picked out from World of Babies last weekend. There were also loads of soft toys strewn everywhere, all still wrapped up in little plastic wrappers.

"You guys! This looks amazing! This is what you've been doing the whole day today? It's a lovely surprise, so thank you!" she flashed a bright smile at her nervous husband next to her and reached out to him for a hug, but he quickly stepped back.

"Hey, woah, not so fast, huggy huggerson! I'm sweating like a pig and I probably stink like one, too! I'm also covered in this protective gear that Ric insisted I wear to avoid poking myself in the wrong place and deprive us of a little sister or brother for Little Purple in there," he gestured towards her belly as he referred to their daughter by his latest nickname.

"Well, thanks for that, Uncle Ric, but it seems that you guys have this under control, except for the cradle there. Look, if you're having trouble with that, I can call the installers in and get it done for us," Elena suggested, grinning broadly when Ric cringed at his newest nickname, which he would have earned in a few months when he and Jenna get married.

"No, don't! Uncle Ric and I can handle it. What kind of father would I be if I can't even do a decent job and put up a cradle for my kid, huh? I want Little Purple to be proud of me and brag to all her little toothless friends about what a stud her daddy is. So, I don't need some installer to come in and spoil my reputation, thank you very much!" Damon exclaimed loudly, seemed much more confident with his abilities than ever, and grabbed the rod from Stefan's hand.

"Wait, wait, wait! Before you start shoving that pole of yours in my hole again, let Stefan read the manual to see if it even is the right pole in the first place. I swear this hole's too small for that pole of yours, Damon!" Ric flashed a warning look at his buddy when Damon resumed his previous position in front of him; one leg over the long iron rod so that he appeared to be riding it like a broomstick, while Ric held another pole between his legs and supported the heavy material by squeezing his thigh muscles to support the weight. Elena held back her giggle when she realised what it looked like they were doing from the position she was standing, from behind Damon.

Must. Not. Laugh. It's. Not. What. It. Looks. Like. Do. Not. Laugh, she reminded herself. "Umm, I'll leave you boys to it then. I'll just go grab a camera, and don't take too long. Elijah will be here in a couple of hours and trust me on this; you don't want him to be around while you're up here figuring out whether Damon's pole will fit into Ric's hole from this angle. He might just show you how it's done properly instead!" she finally let out a giggle as she left the room, leaving Damon, Stefan and Ric to stare down at the parts they were holding and figuring out what Elena meant by her statement.

"Yeah, I'm gonna hold this differently now," Damon finally said when the light bulb came on in his head. Not surprisingly, Ric nodded in agreement, "Me too." And then Stefan burst out laughing when his brother and their friend shifted their own poles around until they no longer looked obscene.

"Shut up, Stef," Damon growled moodily.

"Yeah, Stef! Shut up and read your manual," Ric echoed, turning red all of a sudden.


Two hours later, after the rocking cradle was finally completed and the guys were no longer sweaty or awkward, the gang found themselves in the living room, talking and laughing when the doorbell rang.

"Okay, he's here. Be nice, everyone! That means you, Forbes!" Damon warned the rest with a meaningful glance at his god-sister before he opened the front door to welcome Elijah in.

"Elijah! Come on in!" he greeted enthusiastically as he stepped back from the doorway to admit his guest who was carrying several boxes in his arms.

"Thanks, Damon. Hope you don't mind, but I brought pizza," Elijah smiled gratefully when Damon unloaded the boxes from his arms so that he could shrug off his jacket.

"Cool, for a minute there I thought you were moving in, but that's not surprising, considering everyone's here all the time! I appreciate the pizza all the same, since the only thing Elena can cook is salad, mashed potatoes and lamb, but we normally have to kill the lamb all over again after she's cooked it," he rolled his eyes as he exaggerated a little over his wife's cooking skills, knowing that Elijah had first-hand experience in teaching those exact dishes to her. The reporter chuckled appreciatively and felt at ease immediately. He was rather worried about meeting a bunch of strangers who obviously means the world to Elena and Damon, but he turned to the smiling bunch anyway to get the introductions over with.

"Hello, I'm Elijah Smith. Thanks for letting me join poker night," he smiled as he shook hands with everyone else, and then to his surprise, Elena reached over to hug him, as if it was the most natural thing in the world for her to do.

"Hey, Elijah, thanks for bringing dinner. Damon says salad and lamb are not suitable for poker night. I take that as a hint that he doesn't like my cooking," Elena laughed good-naturedly.

"What utter nonsense! I'd eat boiled charcoal if you prepared it! I just didn't want you to exert yourself, babe," Damon said as he came to stand beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to smack his lips on the side of her head.

"Hey, come on! Are we playing poker, or what?" Jenna called out from the dining room, poking her head into the living room archway.

"Okay, we're coming," Elena replied and gestured for Elijah to follow them into where the others were now gathered, preparing for a night of intense poker playing.

"So, Elijah, I heard that you were giving Elena career advice on being a journalist," said Jenna as she took her seat next to Ric in the middle of the table.

"Yes, I've heard wonderful things about her from Rosalyn Salvatore. She's very fond of her daughter-in-law and now I am, too. Well, both Elena and Damon, of course," Elijah quickly corrected before Damon could react jealously again.

"Oh yeah, we bonded over being survivors of Hurricane Katherine. He dated Kat, too," Damon gave a shudder as he thought about the woman who ultimately brought her two exes together as friends.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry! You poor thing," Caroline gushed in her typical manner, rushing over to give a comforting hug to the surprised man who didn't know what to do with himself other than to just stand still let himself be enveloped in her arms and then released eventually.

"Jesus, how on earth did you survive unscathed?" Ric had an utterly disgusted look on his face; it was obvious to everyone there weren't any love lost between him and Damon's ex. He immediately raised his glass of bourbon and swallowed deeply, as if to chase down something bitter with it.

"Awww, the years of therapy must have been horrible for you," Bonnie came over to him and gave him a comforting pat on his arms, as if she approved at how brave he was being.

"I don't know you that well, but I'm feeling incredibly proud of you right now," Stefan smiled and thumped him on the back.

"They should put a leash on that woman; she really shouldn't be allowed out in public," Jenna shook her head in disapproval.

"Umm, thank you all for the support. I'm fine, really. It was a long time ago," Elijah explained awkwardly, uncomfortable with their displays of affection to him, a stranger whom they have met only a few minutes ago. He quickly took a seat opposite Ric before anyone else could hug him without any warning.

"Yup, he's totally gay! I mean, he didn't even cop a feel or anything! The least he could do was to grab my ass a little! Such a shame too, he's so hot!" Caroline whispered disappointedly at Bonnie and Jenna who were in awe over the handsome reporter. They nodded in agreement.

"Uhh, hello! I'm standing right here!" Stefan announced loudly, feeling slightly miffed over his girlfriend finding the newcomer attractive.

"Oh I'm sorry! Did you want him to grab your ass? I could ask, you know?" Caroline whirled around to her boyfriend, completely misunderstanding his reason for being jealous.

"No, Care, my ass is fine! My pride, however, is wounded," Stefan replied in exasperation. Sometimes, his girlfriend can be so clueless!

"Oh, I'm sure he'll find you attractive. Give it some time," Caroline ruffled his hair playfully and sat down beside Jenna, grabbing a slice of pizza. With a sigh, Stefan didn't even bother to respond and sat down in between Bonnie and Caroline, while his brother and Elena settled down opposite him, on the other side of Elijah. But right before that, Damon leaned down to whisper into Elijah's ear, causing him to nod as he flashed a quick glance at Ric.

"Okay, who's playing and who's watching while feeding the players?" Damon asked, his eyes sweeping around the table questioningly as his hand gestured to Elena, then to the pizza boxes and then to his mouth. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at his obvious attempt at being pampered as she pried a slice from the box and fed it to him. In the end, all the guys and Jenna were playing, while the younger girls sat back to watch since they haven't played before. "Okay, we're playing Texas Hold 'Em, meaning two cards each and five cards on the river. Blinds are five and ten, best card combination wins, got it?"

The players nodded while the three non-players eyed each other in confusion. Poker was a very complex game and if one wasn't familiar with the terms and rules, it could be difficult to understand it.

"Okay, I'll start as the dealer, and then we'll make our way round the table clockwise. Jenna, you've got the big blind and Uncle Ric, the small blind. Here we go, good luck gentlemen and lady," Damon said as he distributed the cards.

"Wait, so Ric is your uncle? How are you even related?" Elijah asked as he threw his chips in to call.

"Jenna is Elena's aunt, right? And my buddy Ric here is engaged to Jenna, so when they get married, he's effectively our uncle," Damon explained with a teasing grin at his best friend who really hated being called an uncle; it made him sound really old and wrinkly. "Jer?"

"I'll call. Bon, can you throw in two chips for me, please?" came Jeremy's voice over the speaker of Bonnie's laptop on the table, webcam on and Bonnie holding up two cards in front of it. The younger Gilbert was lounging back on his bed, stuffing his mouth with potato chips and grinning confidently.

"I'll fold," Stefan announced and discarded his two cards.

"Jer! Can you even afford to play? I can't cover your bet if you lose too much, you know?" his sister warned in advance, knowing how impulsive her brother can be.

"Chill, sis! If I win, I keep the money, but if I lose, then my kind brother-in-law's gonna cover it. Either way, it's win-win for me," Jeremy mumbled with a mouthful of chips, sprinkling bits and pieces all over his bed.

"Say it, don't spray it! If you lose, I'm just gonna have to collect from your sister, young Jeremy. I look forward to poking into her 'purse' and see what treasures I would find in there. Let's just say it's win-win for me, too," Damon chuckled as his eyes twinkled with the idea of exploring Elena's 'purse'.

"I don't have anything in my purse-oh," Elena started to say and then blushed deeply when she realized the hidden meaning behind his cheeky smile. Of course, penguins and purses, how could she forget? That was the afternoon that Damon blew off work and came home early. It was a great afternoon, she vividly recalled with a wry grin as she shared a look with her husband.

"Are we missing something? What's so interesting about Elena's purse? Go on, whip it out and show it to us," Caroline said excitedly, wondering what kind of kinky stuff her friend has in there. After all, she didn't buy all the sex toys for their honeymoon for nothing. She fully expects them to carry on with their kinkiness wherever and whenever.

"She most definitely will not! It's a little...inside joke between us; let's leave it at that," Damon said firmly, finding himself distracted as he daydreamed about the things he would do to her right then and there if his house wasn't filled with their friends yet again. Damn his teenage-like hormones!

"Trust me, Care, just let it go. It's probably code for something kinky or other. We're better off not knowing," Ric advised wisely as he threw in a chip to call. "I know Damon inside and out. Okay, maybe not inside, because that's just gross...and disturbing, but I know him well enough to know not to ask for details. That's how I remained innocent and sane while hanging with him."

"Oh really, Ric? It didn't look innocent when I saw Damon trying to slide his pole into your small hole between your legs earlier upstairs! Tell me, was it able to fit after Stefan got there?" Elena challenged back with a raised brow as her lips quirked up in amusement.

Elijah choked on his pizza and coughed repeatedly as choruses of "What?" filled the air as everyone turned their attention to the two red-faced men; even Jeremy paused in the act of stuffing his face with more junk food to look incredulously at them.

"Elena, if you're gonna make misleading comments like that, the least you could do is explain after instead of freaking our friends out," Damon glared at his wife as he dealt three cards and placed them faced up on the middle of the table - the flop, as poker terms go. "I raise to ten bucks. Elijah?" Damon threw two chips in the pool and waited for him to follow suit.

The newest member of their 'family' just stared unblinking at him without responding to his question. "I'm loving poker night! Please explain," he implored while the rest leaned in closer, eager to uncover this latest gossip. For a moment no one said anything; Elena just smiled widely at Ric and stubbornly refused to say anything and enjoying herself tremendously.

"For God's sake, we were putting together a cradle!" Ric finally burst out, unable to stand the tension in the room any longer. Besides, he was holding pocket Queens and there was another one on the flop; he was eager to win the first round, damnit! "We were in the nursery trying to figure out how to fit the iron rods into the holes and Elena walked in and spoilt the surprise. There! Now you know! You're welcome, by the way," he said sarcastically to his fiancée's niece.

"Ha ha, that was payback for being proposed to by Damon when you guys went shopping for the wedding rings, and also for accepting," Elena replied smugly, knowing that they were not going to be playing much poker from that point on. Ric looked about ready to burst for being reminded of that experience yet again.

Elijah choked again, this time while drinking while the rest of the table erupted in laughter.

"It was the goosebump test and I'm the reason you're not wearing some other hideous obscenely large stone on your finger right now," Ric bit out between his teeth, his lips barely moving at all.

"Hey, Ric, remember when you made out with the biker-dude in that bar during the eve of my wedding? And then you woke up the next day in a hotel room, with condoms scattered around you?" Damon added with an evil smirk, leaning back with an arm around the back of Elena's chair, stroking her neck and shoulders absently. She turned to smile at him and leaned in closer, loving poker night, too.

"What? Ric, you never told me that! You cheated on me with a biker dude?" Jenna exclaimed in disbelief as she stared at her fiancée, eyes narrowed until they were mere slits.

"Jenna, in his defence, Ric was drunk and passed out, and all three of us didn't know that it was a gay bar. While the tongue-swirling kiss with the huge biker dude was real, the hotel was my idea and the condoms were Damon's," Stefan hastily explained, taking pity on his friend but did not realize the alternate meaning of his explanation in time.

As predicted, Elijah choked yet again, this time on his own tongue as he tried to hold back his hilarity at the onslaught of information provided by his new favourite people in the whole world. Again, the rest of the table and even the one watching all these unfold from Italy reacted the same way; "What?"

"Damon! How come I didn't know about this? What happened exactly?" Elena shifted in her seat to face Damon, effectively dislodging his hand from her neck at the same time.

"What my brother failed to properly explain was that Ric passed out at the bar after he was sexually harassed by a gay biker guy, and we had to carry him out before he got carried out through the back-door to have his back-door...probed, if you get my drift. Then, since he's so heavy and so out of it, Stef suggested that we just check him into the nearest hotel and we left him there wearing only his boxers and a pair of socks. The condoms were just a prank devised to freak him out. They were not used condoms, merely opened and rinsed to give a...similar effect. Nothing happened other than us having a good laugh about it that night and the next day when Ric showed up at the mansion freaked out and convinced he was anally raped. I'm sorry for the part I played in this cruel joke, and it won't happen again. If it helps, the first thing out of his mouth was his concern over explaining it to you, Jenna," Damon shrugged and then he resumed his light strokes on Elena, this time on her thighs, his fingers feather light as they travelled up and down her legs. Time to move the game up a notch, he thought.

"Great! Now that we're all caught up on our misleadingly inappropriate antics, what say we revert back to the game, eh? Elijah, I believe it's your turn to call or to fold?" Ric reminded smoothly, having had enough of everyone's attention at his expense. He belatedly realized that he should stop hanging around people who knows so much about him and his...unfortunate gay-ish incidents. That, or just stop having gay-ish incidents altogether!

"Alright, I'll call Damon's raise, but I'm really curious about the story of the Proposal Pantry. When I was showing Elena how to utilize the kitchen at one time, she mentioned about the uniquely named pantry and I've always wondered how that came about. Can someone please enlighten me on that?" Elijah asked with a curious expression on his face. Ric immediately followed suit, confident that his three-of-a-kind Queens were his winning hand. Jenna folded.

By now, Damon's fingers had found their way down to Elena's knee, squeezing it lightly before delving down to the tender skin on the other side. She immediately tensed up and glowered at his smirking face.

"I'm telling it, I'm telling it!" Caroline yelled, eager to contribute something juicy to their new friend. "We were playing hide and seek here one night; I was the seeker while the rest hid. I guess Damon and Elena chose the same place which is the pantry. I found almost everyone else except for Ric and these two," she indicated to the distracted couple on the opposite end, "and when I opened the pantry door, I saw Damon's back and then he turned around to glare at me, and that's when I saw the ring in his hand. Awww, he was proposing to her against the wall! It was so romantic! So I dubbed it the Proposal Pantry! And then last week, Ric proposed to Jenna in there too! I totally love this house!" she announced enthusiastically. The others nodded and smiled in agreement.

"What a wonderful story!" Elijah beamed, feeling privileged to be privy to the tight-group's secrets and experiences. He was honoured at how comfortable he already felt with them, even if he had barely spent an hour with these people!

"Yes! Oh God, please!" Elena suddenly breathed out, her face flushed and partially hidden by her long hair as she leaned into Damon's chest. For a moment, everyone's attention riveted on her, wondering why she was so enthusiastic all of a sudden. Ric pressed his lips together tightly to refrain from chuckling when Damon gave a smug smile and lifted his hand from under the table, cracked his knuckles and blew on his fingers as if putting out a candle before turning to address everyone with an innocent grin. He dealt the fourth card and flipped it over onto the table, revealing an Ace. "Umm, Elena seems to think that I should raise, so twenty for me," and then he tossed four chips onto the growing pool before wrapping his arms around Elena's undetectably trembling body. God, he loved teasing her!

Elijah looked at his own cards for a moment, and then with a puzzled frown, leaned in and showed them to Bonnie, who was seated beside him. "Do you think I should call?" he whispered, hoping for an equally enthusiastic response at his pocket Kings.

Taken aback that the hottie reporter would ask her opinion, she pretended to seem like she knew what she was doing and nodded solemnly. Disappointed that she wasn't as verbal as Elena, Elijah shrugged and then threw in his chips. Over the laptop speakers, they could hear Jeremy snoring noisily as it was already 3 a.m. in Italy, so Bonnie just disconnected her Skype and declared "Jer folds!"

"I'm gonna go prepare some coffee for you guys," Elena mumbled as she stood up on legs that felt like jelly, her face still flushed from Damon's talented fingers. A moment later she leaned down and whispered in Damon's ear, "We have coffee, right?"

As smart and multi-talented as Elena is, a housewife she wasn't, so with a laughing look, he whispered back, "Bottom shelf, third hanging cabinet from the left, babe!" and pressed a kiss to her cheek before he turned his attention back to the game. Ric had called his raise, so it was now down to the three gentlemen. Bonnie and Caroline went to help Elena with the coffee.

Damon overturned another card on the table, this time, a King. Surprisingly, Damon checked when he had consistently raised the past few rounds and then it was Elijah's turn. He threw four chips onto the centre of the table, raising the bet to twenty and then raised a challenging eyebrow at Ric.

Ric knew that he had a good chance at winning with three-of-a-kind Queens but Elijah seemed confident with his raise, so he stared back at him thoughtfully and that was when he felt something touching his foot. At first he thought someone just accidently rubbed against him but then what he assumed was someone's toe drifted up higher, now lightly tapping his calf. He sneaked a peek at Jenna to see if she was teasing him but she looked impatient for him to call. Then he glanced at both Damon and Stefan and they were also waiting for him to either call or fold. Then, the 'toe' moved higher, now practically caressing his knee!

"Ric? Are you in or out?" came Damon's voice. The 'toe' was gone for the moment and he heaved a sigh of relief, hoping that it was in fact Jenna, who might have tried to distract him. "I'm in, but I re-raise to forty," he cleared his throat awkwardly and then shifted his legs so that he sat at an angle, closer to his fiancée.

"Well, I fold, so it's you and Elijah now. What about it, Eli? Are you gonna call Ric?" Damon asked with a slight arch of his brow, catching Stefan's eyes as the brothers shared a look.

"W-w-why would he call me? He's not gonna call-" Ric broke off nervously when he felt it again; the insistent 'toe' rubbing back and forth around his ankle. At that precise moment, Elijah threw in his chips and announced, "I'll call you. Now let me see what you've got! I'll show you mine if you show me yours," Elijah said in his calm and cool voice, his steely eyes still staring intensely into Ric's, making the guy even more nervous as he gaped at the reporter, convinced beyond anything that he was openly hitting on him in front of his fiancée!

At this point, Stefan was just doubling over with laughter, his forehead resting on the table and his fists pounding on the surface as his shoulders shook violently. Then Damon followed suit, unable to keep a straight face anymore and removed his toe from Ric's ankle, certain that his buddy would have put two-and-two together by now and realized that it was the Salvatore brothers who were making him freak out.

"Oh man! Elijah! Your comedic timing was just...brilliant! 'Let me see what you've got...I'll show you mine if you show me yours!' The images that must have ran through Ric's mind...brilliant!" Damon managed to wheeze out in between laughter.

"What? I wanted to see Ric's cards! I've got three-of-a kind Kings, what about you Ric?" Elijah asked, confused as to what was happening around him. They were only on the first round of poker and already, all hell seems to have broken loose!

"The pot is yours, my friend! All I have are three Queens and a pair of jack-asses who think it's hilarious to mess with my head!" Ric growled with reluctant amusement as he shook his head at his two giggling friends, amazed at their level of maturity.

"I don't get it! What's so funny?" Jenna asked, puzzled at the boys' antics.

"Your sick nephew-in-law and his ass-hat of a brother think it's funny to play footsie with me under the table while making me think that Elijah was trying to hit on me. Speaking of which, why where you staring at me in that peculiar way, anyway?" Ric flashed an enquiring look at the chuckling Elijah, understanding now dawning on his face.

"Well, Damon gave me a tip earlier that you'd fold if I stared at you confidently enough that you'd doubt the strength of your hand. I was just hoping you'd fold and I swear I was completely unaware at the goings-on underneath the table. You've got yourself a nice bunch of friends there, Ric," Elijah grinned just as the girls returned from the kitchen with a tray of coffee-filled cups.

"Sorry it took so long, we couldn't figure out the coffee machine. So, who won?" Elena asked as she distributed the coffee cups around excluding herself.

"Eli did, but Stef and I won on a whole other level," Damon chuckled again and shook his head, "I'll tell you later; it's a long story. Thanks for making coffee, babe," he said as he took a big sip, along with everyone else and then they all collectively spit the mouthful of coffee back into the cup, their faces in varying degrees of shock, disgust and just plain fear.

"What is it? Is it too bitter? I didn't taste it because I'm not allowed to drink coffee. Does it taste awful?" Elena sounded worried.

"No, babe, it's just...too hot. I burned my tongue. It tastes great, like everything you cooked for me," Damon smiled comfortingly and reluctantly took another smaller sip, just to ease her worry. He said it himself; he'd eat boiled charcoal if she prepared it and oddly enough, this coffee was what he imagined boiled charcoal would taste like! He felt better when she smiled and nodded and then disappeared into the kitchen again.

"Drink up, guys. You don't want to hurt her feelings," he whispered urgently to the rest, hoping that they'd cooperate. He took another sip of his coffee and shuddered violently.

"No, you don't want to hurt her feelings. She wants to hurt us, apparently," Ric whispered back, unable to get the horrible taste out of his tongue. This must be what HELL tastes like!

"Did she put salt instead of sugar?" Jenna asked in disbelief, trying to swallow for the sake of her niece.

"Yes, I think salt and also ungrounded coffee beans," Elijah's eyes were wide with shock as the group watched him start to chew the coffee.

"I think we should drink it while it's scalding hot; that way, our tongues will be burnt and we won't be able to taste anything then," Stefan suggested, all previous traces of hilarity from the prank played on Ric now completely gone at the thought of this new form of torture. "Ok, on three?"

"One, two, three," they all whispered in sync and then everyone of them proved how much they loved Elena by draining their cups and swallowing in a hurry, eager to get the ordeal over with.

"Oh God! Stop, you guys! You all finished your coffee?" Elena exclaimed in horror as she rushed out of the kitchen. "I wanted to ask if you wanted cream with it."

"Oh, too late, babe. It was delicious enough without it. But, we were just talking about how coffee's bad for health, so we're all thinking of quitting it for a while. Anyone up for some scotch?" Damon asked, and then unsurprisingly, everyone jumped up eagerly, heading for the liquor cabinet like a moth to a flame. Elena was left scratching her head as she wondered how scotch was any healthier than coffee.


The hours flew by quickly after that. By mutual agreement, they abandoned poker for the rest of the night and occupied themselves with a game of Win, Lose or Draw. They divided themselves into equal groups of four; Male vs. Female, also known as Penguins vs. Purses, though the other six people didn't know why they were named as such.

It was a night filled with insane laughter, heavy drinking – mostly to lose the aftertaste of Elena's skills in the kitchen – and also a night of discovery. The gang discovered that Jenna and Ric couldn't draw even if their lives depended on it, which made sense that they were made for each other; Damon and Elena could draw fairly well but they were the ones who made the most correct guesses- which proved that they were meant to be together; Elijah and Caroline could draw very well – which proved that they were good in anything and everything; and then there were Stefan and Bonnie – who proved that they could fall asleep under any circumstances.

It was close to one in the morning when they eventually left, some of them drunk, some yawning away as they drove off into the night...or early morning. Finally, there was only Elijah left, standing just outside the front door, bidding the hosts goodnight.

"Thank you both for inviting me over. I must say I've never had such an experience before. You were right, Damon. These friends of yours, they are some kind of wonderful. I'm lucky to have met them, and you two, as well," he said sincerely.

"We're just glad you had fun at all. They're a good bunch of people once you get to know them. I know they'd love it if you came over to join us again soon, so we'll let you know when we plan something like this again. Even if it's just dinner...outside," Damon amended hurriedly when Elijah's eyes immediately zeroed in on his wife in concern.

"Maybe I'll cook the next time and invite you all over. Oh, and I know I'm off the case now, but I wanted to tell you that I've been doing some thinking about what you found out. I wanted to advise you to hold off confronting Kat for now; you might have enough to implicate her but I think you should wait until there are more clues as to who's really behind this. You should have enough on her to really push her so far up a corner until she has no choice but to reveal who else she's working with; her self-preservation skills are top-notch. She won't protect anyone if it means that she'll have to take the fall for them. That's the only way you can get her to talk. I hope you don't mind me saying this now," Elijah said, before waving farewell and turning to leave.

"Hey, thanks man," Damon called out and then waved back before he closed the door.

"So, are you going to take his advice? About Katherine?" Elena asked as they walked back towards the living room sofa, exhausted after the day they had.

"I already planned to do just that before he said anything. We now have a bigger fish to fry and as much as I would love to call Katherine out on what we do know as at this moment, I'd rather wait and get rid of them once and for all. Don't worry about it; I am a man with a plan," he announced in a sing-song voice. He was already planning on leaking several projects' information to his ex, especially those with bigger contract amounts to see if his instinct about Nik is correct or not.

"You know, I think you should compile another list of projects, but this time, pass a different set of information to both Katherine and Nicholas; same projects but different tender amounts, hers slightly higher than Nik's. Pretend that you have to take a few days off again like before, and then get Nik to handle the paperwork for you, but then in reality, you have a third set of tender documents; this one with amounts even lower than what you've passed to Nik and those are the actual ones that you will tender with. Then, when your company wins all accounts, Mason Lockwood will lose confidence with both of them once and for all, and then we bust Katherine. Hopefully, with nowhere left to turn to, she'll spill the beans to protect herself and we'll have Nik or whoever's guilty in the palm of our hands. Then this will all be over, for good," Elena explained with a determined look on her weary face.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you today? I do. I love a woman who's smart and sexy, and still manages to blush when I make her cum in the middle of a dining room in front of all our friends and in the middle of a poker game. I hope our daughter takes after you in every single way; she'll be the most precious baby yet," he whispered lovingly, tracing a finger along her cheek, her exhausted smile filling up his heart with warmth. "Forget what I said earlier; I am a man who has a woman with a plan, and she rocks my world with a smile," he smiled back at her, looking deep in her chocolate-brown eyes as he leaned in with a kiss.

"Ewww, Damon! What have you been drinking?" her face screwed up with disgust when her tongue touched his and the leftover after-taste of her own version of coffee almost made her faint.


I know, it's a silly chapter but I'm in a silly mood. My mind is all over the place lately so I apologise for this weird chapter. I hope you enjoyed the sexual innuendos, though, even if they were at Ric's expense. But he's so nice to make fun of. I miss him and Jenna dearly.

Oh and look, look, look! An empty text box below with nothing typed on it! WOW! Don't you just hate empty boxes? Imagine if you receive a parcel with your name on it, and then when you open it up, it's empty! Boxes are meant to be filled with lovely stuff! ! ! hence, the box below MUST be filled with words! Don't care what you write, as long as you don't send an empty box back! It's just common courtesy!

In case you're still confused over whether Ric is gay or not, let me spell it out for ya: R-E-V-I-E-W!