Summary: No, this isn't melting slush and icicles crashing to the ground while just missing your head. It's you being ambushed by those cute capitalists lurking outside grocery stores and forced to dig deep into your wallet yet again to buy what they're selling.


"Hello, this is Channel 3 News, WKYC Cleveland…Let me transfer your call, ma'am…Well, that sounds interesting, but I'm not sure it's actually news- How many?…The most ever?…Is she still there with you?…Great, I'll send a news crew to interview you both…Maybe we can get her, too…Thank you very much, the crew should be there in about fifteen minutes…Goodbye…Mike! Send a van with Sally and who's on call to the Joyce Summers Academy…That's right, the new private girls' school that opened there a month ago…Why? Wait'll you hear…Yeah, it'll probably be picked up nationwide if we're lucky…Bet your ass I'm gonna try to get her to appear, too…Good morning, this is the Joyce Summers Academy, Ms. Bennett speaking…Channel 3 News? Why would you be calling?…Yes, the headmistress is presently in her office…She did what?!…I'll see if it's possible and call you back…Ms. Summers?…Ms. Summers?…Yes, they go very well with milk…However, even if you didn't mean to, Ms. Summers- What? All right, Buffy, then…As I was about to say, you attracted a lot of attention to us today…Well, for some reason, Buffy, people tend to notice things like somebody ordering twenty thousand boxes of Girl Scout cookies in one single sale with their Council credit card…I'm sure the little girl selling them at our front gates with her mother also there looked absolutely adorable in her uniform this morning…Yes, all the Slayers here will be deeply appreciative of your foresight…Anyway, the local television news wants to interview both you and that young lady…Fifteen minutes from now, where she set up her table outside…I can't possibly comment as to whether this will give Mr. Giles a heart attack, no matter how amusing this sounds to you…Just one minor suggestion in advance, Buffy, it'd definitely be prudent to wipe off any possible cookie crumbs from your face before appearing on live television…Fine, back to calling you Ms. Summers it is."