Bluejay: Sorry we're taking so long about Thriller Bark guys. It's a long chapter, and we've got various school things going on as well as illnesses and such. Plus there were a couple scenes early on that weren't working out and had to be rewritten before the rest would come together. Unfortunately, we've posted all our buffer chapters and have now returned to an update rate of "whenever the next chapter happens to get done." So until we're done with Thriller Bark, please enjoy this holiday special and have a happy Yule.

In other news, our version of Dragon is a huge, adorable dork. Careful, oh great and powerful revolutionary leader, your relation to Garp and Luffy is showing. *grins* Such a sap…

It had been warm and sunny for the past week, so when I woke up freezing, I was understandably surprised. Shivering, I cuddled into Ace-nii. That in turn led to Nii-chan edging closer until he was pressed against my back, and Sabo-nii rolling over to lie across the three of us. Our blankets- yes, we had them, despite typically sleeping in a heap of four- had been thrown across the room at some point in the night.

Sanji's voice rang out, alerting me to the time. "Ladies and shitheads, breakfast is served!"

The response was instant. Luffy leapt to his feet and raced out of the cabin, taking off for the galley at a speed that would give Coby a run for his money. Ace was up a second later, throwing Sabo across the room and depriving me of my heater. Sabo and I were slower. We were still eager though, shivering as we ran through the ship. Breakfast meant food- warm food. Preferably with warm drinks to go with it.

There were indeed warm drinks waiting for us in the galley, as well as bacon, eggs, and cinnamon rolls. Nii-chan and I grabbed mugs and slid into our spots while Sabo-nii rescued Ace-nii from drowning in the sink- our eldest brother had tripped over a bucket in his hurry and tumbled entertainingly across the galley. Coby entered at exactly that moment and stared. Instead of apologizing like I would've thought, my boyfriend giggled and slid in beside me, kissing me on the cheek before starting on his breakfast. I raised an eyebrow.

"Did you do that… on purpose?"

"No. But with the number of times Ace-san's threatened me, I think I'm allowed to laugh at something like this."

"Fair enough." I scarfed down my food and sipped at my drink, eager to get outside and see if there was snow to play in. The cocoa tasted funny though, not like cocoa at all. And from the look on his face, Nii-chan's was the same.

My leg started to twitch and bounce. I suddenly had way too much energy. By the time Sabo sat across from me, I could barely sit still. My blond brother pulled out his logbook as he ate, flipping to an empty page to record the date and weather. He paused when he noticed that Luffy and I were both bouncing and shaking. "Lu, Blue… Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't we be?"

Nii-chan nodded enthusiastically, then pouted. "Our cocoa tasted funny, but it was still good."

A look of horror crossed Sabo's face; I wondered why. Then I caught a glimpse of the date out of the corner of my eye. "Verdammt ficken Sheisse! Sabo-nii, why didn't you tell us it was December 23rd?"

"Wha- oh no. Oops; I forgot."

On the other side of the table, Ace-nii looked up from his eggs in a panic. "It's that close to Christmas already?" He reached across and hit Sabo over the head. "You're supposed to remind me earlier!"

"Sorry, sorry…" Sabo-nii rubbed his head. "I've been a little distracted lately, okay? Writing about all our adventures takes time."

"That doesn't change that we've got a Code Sleigh Bells and only two days to work on it!" Ace shot Luffy and I a dirty look. "And a Code Double-Double too, by the looks of it."

Sanji and Coby stared at Ace and Sabo in confusion as the rest of the crew walked in. "What's a Code Double-Double?"

Almost as soon as the words left their mouths, Ace and Sabo jumped up and hit Sanji over the head, sending him crashing into the floor. This was the first time the cook had been struck like that, so he was understandably surprised.

"Merde! What was that for Shitheads?!"

"You gave Lu and Blue coffee!" My eldest two brothers wore comically panicked expressions. I didn't understand why- we weren't that bad. Nii-chan and I continued to bounce throughout breakfast, occasionally snatching bacon from someone's plate. It was easier than usual; the cold seemed to be making everyone slow and sleepy.

Sanji, meanwhile, seemed to share Ace and Sabo's opinion. He looked at our mugs and let out a comic groan. "Shit. Shit, shit, shit. They grabbed the cups meant for Sabo and Robin-swan." Our cook then proceeded to bash his head against a cupboard, muttering about not watching closely enough.

When everyone was done eating, Sabo-nii rubbed his temples and fixed Nii-chan and I with an exasperated gaze. "Okay, I know what to do. Lu, Blue… We have two days until Christmas. You need to make presents and cards for Dad, Dadan, Makino, Magra, Dogra, and Gramps. They have to be done before tomorrow afternoon so we can send them off with the late News Coo. Okay?"
"Yosha!" I snapped a salute, beaming. "You can count on us Sabo-nii! If we don't have six gifts ready by tomorrow afternoon, I'll run five hundred laps around the deck while carrying one of Zoro's weights!" Reaching to my left, I grabbed Luffy's hand and dragged him out of the galley after me. "Come on Nii-chan! You've gotta make the cards!"

"Yosh!"

The two of us ran for our family cabin and locked ourselves in. This would be an undertaking of epic proportions- we'd never had to make gifts so quickly before. And though Sabo hadn't mentioned it, we had more than six to do. After all, we needed to make things for everyone on the crew too. Our family wasn't nearly as small as it had once been. I grabbed some red and green wool, getting an immediate start on a scarf for Dad. Beside me, Luffy pulled out a box of crayons and a stack of paper to start doodling.

SORA

Was it just his imagination, or had there been a sunset in the background when Bluejay and Luffy held hands? But that was impossible; it was dawn. Sora shook his head; clearly he hadn't slept enough last night. Then he looked askance at Sabo.

"What was that for, exactly? They're just a little hyper; it'll wear off in an hour or so. You didn't need to send them away like that."

The blond shook his head. "They'll actually be strung up all day, but that's not the main issue. Ace and I need time to make their gifts, which we can't do with them breathing down our necks- which would surely happen as soon as those two got bored. We also need time to make Ace a new costume, since we left the old one at home so they wouldn't see it in the Moon Boat."

"Costume?" Sora was pretty sure he was missing something here. From the looks on their faces, everyone else was too.

Ace sighed and flicked and idle fireball at Coby. The cabin boy dodged and hid behind Franky. "Lu and Blue still believe in Santa. It's my turn to play the part."

Everyone stared. Conis frowned and cleared her throat. "Um… Luffy's seventeen and Bluejay's fourteen, right? Isn't that a little old? Why haven't you told them yet?"

Blue eyes met grey; two faces turned red. "They're just… so cute… You wouldn't be able to tell them either. Just wait; you'll see in a couple days."

A couple of days… Christmas. Sora sighed, wishing he could spend the holidays with Vivi. Oh well, he would just have to call her. A good, long call. And he knew just what to make her. The rainbow serpent made his way down to the workroom. Usually that part of the ship was the domain of Franky and Usopp, but not that soon before Christmas. Instead, Sora was joined by Ace, Sabo, and Conis. He understood the first two- they wanted to make things for Luffy and Bluejay- but what was the psychologist there for?

The angel giggled, correctly reading Sora's look and answering his question before he opened his mouth. "I want to send my father some things. Usopp showed me how to make a rubber band powered toy boat the other day; I'm sure my father would love one."

Sora shrugged and hummed as he got to work. He could see the necklace he was making in his mind- a hundred links of golden chain, fifty silver bells, and fifty tiny seed pearls. It was delicate and time consuming work. The rainbow serpent wasn't even sure where most of the materials had come from; Kaya had found them in his pockets one day when she went to do laundry. His need to pick up shiny things was getting a little out of hand. Except they were pirates, so a minor case of kleptomania- or hoarding, or whatever this was- was to be expected.

"Silver bells, silver bells

It's Christmas time in the city

Ring-a-ling, hear them ring

Soon it will be Christmas day"

LLAMA

It was about three hours after breakfast when Luffy bounced up to where she sat in the rigging. Llama ignored him until he spoke, too absorbed in the tiny device in her hands. Dark eyes stared over her shoulder for a whole thirty seconds before the captain grew bored. "Ne, Llama, what're you doing?"

"Playing Super Mario." Llama turned off the game and put it away. "It's a thing from my world; Franky rewired it for me so it runs on cola."

"Oh. Cool." Luffy picked his nose and wiped the resulting boogers on a sail.

"Weren't you with Jay making Christmas gifts?"

"Yeah, but cards don't take long." The rubber captain hung upside down and swung around like the monkey he was named. "Blue won't let me help anymore cause I can't knit or anything. So I was gonna decorate. Can you change a bunch of cannonballs to red and green for Christmas balls?"

Was he kidding? That would be a ridiculous number of colours! She could only hold enough to decorate the whole ship for… thirty seconds or so. Probably. She'd been doing some training lately, but it was slow going. Llama shook her head. Then she smiled.

"No. I couldn't hold them for any meaningful time. But I have something better. Leave the decorating to me Captain."

"Okay…" Luffy swung around so he was sitting upright again. "I'm still bored though."

And trembling with barely contained energy Llama could see even when she wasn't looking at him. Well, everyone else was busy right now- or at least claimed to be- so she supposed it was up to her to entertain the hyper captain. Also, Sanji deserved green hair for a week for the coffee. It would be festive.

"Well… If you're that bored, you could help me put the lights up?"

"Okay!" Luffy bounced eagerly. Then he paused, a thoughtful look coming over his face. "Wait… We have Christmas lights?"

"Of course." Llama pulled out several strings of lights and handed them to her captain. He stared at them in amazement.

"Where do you keep these?"

"In the same place I keep my stick."

"And where's that?"

"In my Christmas spirit."

Llama couldn't even keep track of what happened next. It was like watching the Flash TV show- John Wesley Shipp had been funny, but she remembered as many blurred speed lines as jokes. In the end, Luffy somehow managed to get himself tied up in the ends of three light strings, hanging from the mizzen mast like some strangely festive piñata. It was both amusing and sad. The demolitions expert spent the next half hour untangling her captain.

"Just… how?" Llama had no other words. Luffy beamed.

"There was a knot, and it kept me from finding the plug, so I tried to untie it. But then I tripped over that one, and the Sunny dropped another one on me and pulled!"

Looking to the other end of the third string of lights, Llama spotted not a mischievous kabautermann, but Usopp in a similar situation to the one she was extracting their captain from. The tiny demolitions expert sighed. She gave up; she didn't really want to know anymore.

CAPTAIN SNAPPY

"Come on Snappy, you look fine." Everyone else on the crew was terrified of that sweet smile; the little raptor now understood why. He chirped sadly and tried to hide under Orange Pack Tracker's bunk.

Pale hands grabbed him around the middle and pulled him back out. Stinging Sweetheart held him against her shoulder, cuddling him like a cat while he squirmed to get away. Delicate fingers combed through his quills and tapped against the antlers strapped to his head. So undignified. Snappy chirped louder, wishing Ma would come save him.

"Oh, stop complaining. You're adorable."

He was not adorable! He was fierce! Snappy finally managed to wiggled out of Stinging Sweetheart's arms. Tumbling to the floor, he raced for the nearest exit. Seconds later, despite knowing he should have had to climb a ladder to get there (and he certainly hadn't), the raptor found himself in the laundry room. Not where he wanted to be, but it would work. At least only Square Nose would see him here. Now there'd be time to get these things off his head. They only looked good on Prey Who Is Pack!

Upon seeing Snappy, Square Nose tried to edge back. Not that it worked well, with all the ropes they had on him and the strange manacles. Snappy grinned. He liked that Square Nose was afraid of him. He was a predator and Square Nose turned into prey, after all; it was only right that he should be afraid.

"Did you have to come in here? I've told you before, you give me the heebie-jeebies." The bound and lethargic prisoner somehow managed to get on top of the dryer. Snappy growled. Smooth steel that couldn't be punctured by claws; his one weakness. Now he wouldn't be able to torment Square Nose.

Huffing, Snappy left the laundry room. If he couldn't torment the prisoner, he would spend his time looking for something to get these things off his head. Maybe Prey Who Is Pack would have something. Or Hunting Bird Girl- she had lots of things for making and unmaking fabric. Even Ma… It might hurt to cut the strap with White Sword, but it would be better than enduring this continuing humiliation.

Unfortunately, Snappy couldn't find any of the people he was looking for. Instead he ended up in the library. No one was there at the moment. So the raptor sat down and began scratching at his own chin with his talons, hoping to tear the strap. It was humiliating, lying there scratching like a dog. But at least no one was there to see him.

Until Nose Who Lies walked in. The sniper took one look at Snappy and burst out laughing. Enraged, the raptor jumped up and began to gnaw on his crew mate's ankles. This turned the laughter into yelps- at least until Nose Who Lies was able to pry him off and hold him out at arms' length. Sometimes Snappy hated being so small.

"Let me guess… Kaya did this to you?"

Snappy chirped an affirmative. Then he attempted to bite the sniper's nose. Unfortunately, he was too far away for that to be effective. Nose Who Lies started laughing again. "Aw, don't be like that. She's just trying to get you into the spirit of Christmas."

Spirit of Christmas? What was that? Snappy croaked at Nose Who Lies, indicating for him to continue. The sniper smiled and pulled out a book. "It's not easy to explain- especially when I don't even know how much English you understand. You always surprise me. So let's try this. Stop me if you don't get it." So saying, the sniper opened the book and began to read a poem. Snappy stared at the pictures in fascination, hoping they would help him figure out this Christmas spirit thing.

"T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…"

SPADE

Great black birds like nothing he'd ever seen before covered the southern horizon. He knew it was south because trying to face any other way made him dizzy. There were many of them, too many to count, ranging in size from that of a News Coo to that of a landing craft. And on two of the largest ones, he saw spots of fluffy red and turquoise. Spade didn't know what to make of them.

Except that they were entering the territory of his flock. No one was allowed to do that! He was the only bird here! Except that silly pretender girl who insisted on taking a bird name, but she couldn't fly so she barely counted. Although… She stole Fire Father's attention far too often. Maybe she was in league with these black invaders.

"Skrawk!" Spade flew at the lead bird with a shriek, talons open to tear. It batted him aside with frightening ease, shooting him a confused look. Undeterred, the southbird tried again. And again. By the time all the birds had arrived at Floating Roost, Spade was exhausted from his futile assaults.

At least he knew what the coloured fluffs were now. They were people- two women who immediately ran off in search of something. Spade payed them no mind, continuing to glare at the strange birds who dared intrude on his territory. At least, until he felt hungry. Then it was time to find Fire Father and beg for food. The southbird gave the strange birds a last indignant glare before taking off for the Tinker Room.

He landed on Fire Father's hat a few minutes later. The strange women were there too, hugging Blue Brother and Flying Buddy. Angel was in a corner, making something out of wood. Spade didn't care about them though. He pecked at Fire Father's head, chirping and fluttering his wings.

Warm fingers rose up to pet his head. Spade leaned into them. "You hungry little buddy?" Fire Father chuckled. Seconds later, a treat rose to the little southbird's beak. He snapped it up and cuddled into the orange hat.

Blue Brother sighed. "You're spoiling him Ace. He'll end up too fat to fly if you just feed him whenever he wants."

"Eh, it'll be fine. Not like he's a fighter like Captain Snappy or anything."

The pair stared at each other for a long time. Spade considered pecking Fire Father again to get his attention and more pats, but decided it wasn't worth the effort. He was almost asleep when Blue Brother broke the staring contest with a bout of echoing laughter. The southbird chirped indignantly, but was ignored.

"You… It's to keep yourself from spoiling Lu and Blue, isn't it? You're such a sap Ace!"

"I am not!"

"Are too! You try to hide it, but we all know you for the soft, fluffy, overprotective sap you are!"

"I'm not overprotective!"

Flying Buddy looked up from snuggling the turquoise girl with a sigh. "Ace… You threaten Coby on a daily basis for dating Kay-Kay, and he's one of the sweetest guys on the crew. You're overprotective."

Fire Father glared and stuck his tongue out at both Flying Buddy and Blue Brother. "Yeah, well… Sabo's a sap too!"

"Unlike you, I've never claimed otherwise." Tipping his hat, the blond leaned down and kissed the strange red girl. Fire Father immediately heated up, flames leaping from his shoulders as he made faces reminiscent of a confused fish. Spade shook his head and snuggled down for a nap. He didn't understand why Fire Father always got so angry and protective of the humans; Spade was clearly the most adorable and important thing in his life.

LLAMA

Everyone else was asleep, and unlikely to wake up any time soon. They'd partied hard after Koala and Vivi arrived on giant crows- so hard that even Luffy and Bluejay got deep into their cups. Llama smiled as she climbed around the ship. It was actually adorable, watching her drunken captain stagger from person to person, hugging them and loudly proclaiming his love for everybody. Except someone named Woop Slap, who was apparently a boring old fart.

The demolitions expert hummed to herself as she clambered through the rigging- Deck the Halls on repeat, since that was technically what she was doing. Although it was the whole ship rather than just a few corridors. Garland wrapped around every line, tinsel on the rails, Christmas balls everywhere… She even had a star to go at the very top of the mainmast.

Decorating- and doing so quietly- took most of the night. The end result was worth it though. By dawn on Christmas Eve, the Thousand Sunny was all decked out in red, green, purple, and gold. Much better than if she'd just changed the colours of some cannonballs and rigging. There was one colour for her to do though, but by now she could do a single object for hours on end. Maybe days; although she didn't have to keep the colour up overnight, it would be nice. An interesting challenge for her fruit, certainly. Smiling into her scarf, Llama turned Chopper's blue nose red and waited for the rest of the crew to wake.

Luffy was the first, surprisingly. Or maybe it wasn't a surprise, since Llama was pretty sure she heard someone fart near his head. It was hard to tell who; the whole crew- and their guests- had fallen asleep in a tangled heap on the deck. Regardless, the captain shot up and out of the cuddle puddle before suddenly freezing and spinning in place. His eyes turned to stars as he saw the product of Llama's work.

"Sugoi! Everyone, wake up! Captain's orders! We had elves!"

A chorus of groans filled the air. They were followed by a thump as Nami hit Luffy over the head. "We can't have had elves, you idiot! Elves don't exist!"

"But who else could've done this?" The captain waved his arms, indicating the decorations all over the ship. Franky shrugged.

"Maybe Sunny-bro has a Klabautermann who loves Christmas?"

Llama smiled as other crew members began throwing out her own guesses. Then she yawned. The ship was beautiful, but she hadn't gotten any sleep. So while everyone else was trying to figure out where the decorations had come from, she slipped off to the aquarium bar and curled up on a sofa. She was joined a minute later by… Koala? Llama blinked sleepily at Sabo's girlfriend. The redhead smiled.

"It was you, wasn't it? That's why you're so tired."

"Yeah."

"Why? Not that I'm saying you shouldn't have or anything- it looks great- but why didn't you tell anyone it was you?"

"Jay and the captain still believe in Santa. Go ask Sabo why; I was just playing along."

Koala nodded. "Oh, I'll ask him alright. You'd have thought they'd have figured it out years ago- well, maybe not Luffy on his own, but with Bluejay he should've. One more question though: where exactly did you get all those ornaments? Even Nami and Ghin were surprised, so they can't have been from the ship's stores."

That made Llama frown. Really, if she never told her crew mates the truth about where she got things, why would she tell outsiders- even ones she liked? "I found them in my stocking."

"Pffft." Koala covered her mouth in a vain attempt to hide her snickers. "Oh, you're good. Well, I suppose I'll go question my boyfriend as to why he still lets his teenage siblings believe in Santa Claus. Have a good nap Llama."

SORA

"Pass me the cookie flour please?"

Vivi looked at him skeptically as she opened the indicated cupboard. "You have designated cookie flour?"

Sora chuckled. "Yes. Believe me, I was confused at first too. But Sanji insists that it's a different kind than we use for muffins and bread, even if I can't tell the difference. And he's anal about using things for the purpose he bought them for."

"Everything's labelled." Vivi shook her head as she handed Sora the canister he needed. "Even the label maker. I never would've believed anyone on this crew could be so organized."

"It only applies to the kitchen. Sanji's just as bad anywhere else as Zoro or Franky. Kaya once found one of his ties in the bathroom sink when she was gathering the laundry. No one knows how it got there."

The princess giggled. Sora counted that as a win; he loved the sound of her laugh. And just having her here again… unbelievable. He owed it to Koala. The revolutionary had been determined to visit Sabo for Christmas, and had just happened to stop in Alabasta for lunch along the way. Vivi had managed to catch her before she left, and since Koala knew what the princess' tattoo meant…

"What kind of cookies are you making?" Vivi hugged Sora from behind and tried to look over his shoulder. She was hampered by the fact that he was a good head and a bit taller than her. Still, it made the rainbow serpent feel like a housewife.

"Gingerbread, of course. It's Christmas." And he'd recently found some Jolly Roger shaped cookie cutters in the back of one cupboard that would make everyone laugh. The box they'd been in was labelled "Random Junk from the Geezer on my Birthdays."

Making and shaping the batter didn't take long, even with Vivi trying to steal bits of cookie dough. Although it was slightly frustrating- she was almost as bad as his cousins, and harder to say no to. "Vivi, there's egg in that! Wait til it's cooked!"

"Fine." Smiling, the princess shifted from trying to steal cookie dough to flicking icing sugar at Sora. His hair was soon white with powder. The zoan user sighed and shook his head.

"You asked for it Princess. Tail tickles!" Partially transforming, Sora began to chase his girlfriend around the galley. She squealed and flung a handful of flour at him. The pair were soon ankle deep in one of the fluffiest, sweetest messes Sora had ever encountered. That was how Sanji saw them when he opened the door: Vivi on her back, having slipped on a dropped piece of butter, Sora crouched beside here with a broken egg on his head, tickling the princess with fingers and tail. The cook sighed and shook his head.

"This better be cleaned up next time I come in here Shitty Dragon. I'm not cooking tomorrow's dinner in this mess."

"Don't worry Sanji," Vivi giggled. "I'll help him clean up."

Sighing, the cook left. That was… unusual. Usually he would've protested a lady offering to clean. Maybe he'd cooked with Sora enough to know Vivi was responsible for most of the mess; the zoan user didn't usually let things like this happen while he baked. The princess' giggles continued.

"You've got something on your face."

Sora raised an eyebrow. "And whose fault is that?"

Batting her eyelashes, Vivi grinned. "Then maybe I should help you clean up." Before Sora could ask what she meant, the princess was leaning in, kissing him. It tasted very sweet; they both had icing sugar on their mouths.

BLUEJAY

Everything ached. My fingers, wrists, forearms… Even the back of my hands felt like someone had been pounding them with Sora's mallet. The human body wasn't meant to knit so much in such a short space of time. And I wasn't done yet. I'd completed scarves for everyone we were sending them to, but now I had the crew's gifts. So I knitted even faster, working through Christmas sweaters at a speed that would make even Makino jealous and wondering whether I should make one for Kaku too, since he hadn't technically joined the crew yet. Probably.

I wasn't going to be able to open my hands properly for a week.

The door of the cabin flew open, prompting me to hide the sweater I was working on behind my back. A panicked reindeer galloped in, his nose a bright, poppy red. Chopper slammed head first into my chest, making me roll backwards. He was crying. I winced as I forced my fingers to unlock from around my knitting needles so I could pet our doctor.

"Choppy? What's wrong?"

"My nose! It's red instead of blue, and I don't know why! I've tested myself for everything I could think of, but I don't seem to be sick… Unless it's something I've never heard of before, but Kaya says that's not very likely." The reindeer sniffled and rubbed his snout with his hooves.

I looked at his nose, then shook my head. "Ksesesesesesese! You're fine Choppy; I think Llama did this."

"But why?"

"Well, on our world, there's a Christmas story about a reindeer with a red nose." I pulled out the sweater I'd been working on and got back to knitting. It wasn't Chopper's and I needed all the time I could get. "It was always my favourite. His name was Rudolph, and the other reindeer in Santa's herd weren't very nice to him." I cleared my throat.

"You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen,

Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen

But do you recall

The most famous reindeer of all?"

I sang the song for Chopper, finishing Usopp's Christmas gift as I did so. The little reindeer applauded at the end. "I wanna meet Rudolph!" Chopper bounced on my lap as he announced his wish, eyes shining like stars.

"Well then, stay up with me and Nii-chan tonight. We always wait to see Santa and his reindeer- although we've never managed to catch them yet. But maybe with your help…" Then my heart sank. "Although… Santa might not come here. All the songs say he comes down the chimney, but we don't have one anymore…"

"He has to come though!" Chopper pouted and stomped one hoof. "There are lots of people who live on ships and stuff- Santa must have a way to get to them."

"Lots of pirates and marines are probably on the naughty list though. He wouldn't visit them." My heart sank even further. "Choppy… Do you think our crew's on the naughty list? We fight a lot, and we steal sometimes… But it's usually for a good reason- isn't it?"

The doctor didn't appear to have an answer for that. In fact, his tears said he was just as worried as I was. Then a shadow fell across us, making us both jump. Kaya giggled from the open doorway. I sighed in relief when I realized who it was, and started working on a sweater for Coby. Our nurse came to sit beside us, patting Chopper with one hand and running the fingers of her other through my hair.

"You two are adorable. And don't worry… You have nothing to worry about. I was talking with Santa-san earlier, and there's no way you're on the naughty list."

My eyes turned to stars; Chopper let out an involuntary yip of relief. "You know Santa?"

"Of course I do. All nurses do; we talk to him every day, helping him figure out who's on the naughty list or the nice list. His elves can't do it after all; they're busy all year, making things for the good girls and boys, and looking after the reindeer." Smiling, Kaya wrapped an arm around me and Chopper. "Trust me, Santa-san would never place anyone on this crew on the naughty list. He knows the path we've chosen is a hard one, so we get a little leeway. And like you said, usually when we get into fights it's either to defend ourselves or to help someone."

Chopper wiped his tears away, beaming. "You're sure?"

"Positive." Standing, Kaya plucked Chopper from my lap. "Now, I believe the two of us should get going. Bluejay-san is still making Christmas presents for everyone, after all; we mustn't peek. That would get us on the naughty list."

The little doctor immediately covered his eyes. I smiled as Kaya carried him out. Then I doubled down on my knitting. Over the course of the conversation I'd slowed or stopped several times, putting a severe dent in my progress. And damn, my hands were still burning. I'd have to get Chopper and Kaya to examine them for carpal tunnel or something later.

SPADE

Clattering footsteps rudely awoke him from his wonderful nap on Fire Father's head. The southbird chirped indignantly as Blue Brother raced into the Tinker Room. Much to his ire, he was ignored. Even pecking Fire Father and squawking didn't fix the atrocity, so Spade was forced to stay awake. He was going to poop on Blue Brother's hat for this.

"Ace, we have a problem."

"What happened?" Fire Father had also been sleeping. He rubbed his eyes as he peeled his face off the work table.

"We're out of red fabric. Blue used it all, apparently."

"Shit! How're we supposed to make a new Santa costume then? Dadan won't be able to send us the old one in time!"

Angel looked up from whatever she was working on and shook her head. "Why do you even need a Santa costume? Isn't the whole point of the Santa charade that the children never see who gives them gifts? My father used to say Santa wouldn't come if I was awake, as a way to make my stay in my room and sleep until dawn."

"Maybe for most kids," Blue Brother chuckled. "It doesn't work on Lu and Blue though. They try to stay up and catch Santa every year- and this year, Blue's scheduled the two of them for the pre-dawn watch, so they'll definitely be up. We're always seen placing the gifts."

"Then why not tell them already? It would save you a lot of trouble."

Blue Brother and Fire Father looked at each other, then at Angel. "They're just too cute. We can't tell them something like that; imagine how sad they'd be. And angry at us for lying."

Bear Girl walked in at that moment, hugging Blue Brother from behind. "There you are Sabo. I've been looking for you since dawn. So… Is there any particular reason you and Ace haven't told Luffy and Bluejay that Santa isn't real yet?"

"We just finished explaining that to Conis!" The blond sighed and hid his face in his hand. "Do I need to make a poster and put it up in the liquor cabinet or something?"

"That won't work. Sora and Vivi are making gingerbread cookies right now, so I'm pretty sure there's gonna be a couple mice in the kitchen when the little ones are on watch tonight." Bear Girl snickered. "I could always report to the boss and have him come and explain it. Dispelling the Santa myth is part of being a father after all."

Fire Father shook his head. "No. They'd still get mad at us for lying to them so long. Shit… What're we gonna do? We need a Santa costume!"

There was a moment of awkward silence. Spade had almost managed to get back to sleep again when Blue Brother smacked a hand against his own forehead. "Argh, Ace, I'm turning into you! How could I forget something so obvious? We'll get Kaya to knock them out! Then they won't wake up while we're placing the gifts, and it won't matter that we don't have a costume!"

"Should we really be encouraging her?" Flames flickered uncertainly.

"Usually I'd say no, but this is a matter of life or Lu's sad puppy eyes."

Bear Girl and Angel looked at each other. "Should I be worried that my boyfriend is advocating for the sedation and possible poisoning of his younger siblings?" the redhead asked the Skypeian.

The latter shook her head. "No, it's fine. I've been keeping an eye on their mental states, both individually and as a group. The four of them are bordering on co-dependent, so Sabo would never suggest something that would permanently damage Luffy or Bluejay. Although he does occasionally display sadistic tendencies that make me feel sorry for his past opponents."

"I'm right here!" Blue Brother protested. "And since when? I'll have you know I'm the perfect gentleman- or as close as you can be and still count as a pirate."

"Quite aside from what you did to Enel- which was justified, but still scary- your reaction to Franky running around naked on deck was to track him down later and attempt to strangle him with his own speedo. The smile you had while doing so was particularly creepy."

"It was a joke!"

Angel just raised her eyebrows. Blue Brother sputtered loudly and looked away, unable to rebut whatever silent argument she had made. Spade hated it when the humans talked without words; he could never understand it. How dare they keep secrets from him? Annoyed, the little southbird fluttered off in a huff. Fire Father wasn't paying attention to him, so he may as well go somewhere quiet to sleep.

CAPTAIN SNAPPY

He'd long since stopped trying to remove the antlers. No one was willing to help him take them off- probably due to their fear of Stinging Sweetheart. So instead of clawing at the seemingly indestructible strap, the raptor had taken to following Pink Fluff around. The swift hunter was much less enthusiastic about the coming of Christmas than the rest of the Pack. He looked confused, wandering around on deck and staring up at the clear, blue sky.

Captain Snappy shivered. It was almost as cold as a winter island. His chirp of discomfort drew Pink Fluff's attention.

"Hi Snappy-san. What's up?" Pink Fluff picked the raptor up and let him inside his coat. Normally Snappy would only do this with Ma, but he was really cold.

"Scraw. Raaaaaa?" How he wished he could speak like the humans. Or even imitate their hand signs. But while he could understand them, Captain Snappy had yet to communicate through quiet-talk. Part of it was biology (his tail), and part of it was that he couldn't speak to participate in team-building exercises.

Still, if anyone could understand him, it was usually Pink Fluff. Well, not counting Prey Who Is Pack, who could actually speak like a raptor. The swift hunter was even better than Ma at figuring out what animals were trying to say- except for Spade. The bird was an asshole, and even Pink Fluff couldn't understand him.

Callused hands patted Snappy on the head. "It's cold out, isn't it? Too cold for reptiles. Maybe Bluejay-san will make you a sweater for Christmas. You'd like that, eh?"

Yes. Yes, he would. But right now, Snappy wanted to know why his third favourite human looked so lost. Everyone was supposed to be happy! Or at least, that's what Nose Who Lies had said, and he wasn't using his lying voice at the time. "Roo… Sra? Scraw!"

Pink Fluff chuckled. "Sorry Snappy-san. I don't mean to be a downer. I just… I can't really believe it's Christmas Eve. It's cold, but there's no snow." The cabin boy sighed. "Back when I was with Alvida… I hated it there, more than you could probably imagine, but at least there was always snow on Christmas. It was what I looked forward to every year. A white Christmas is something magical; I don't know how to explain it. Not that you could understand me anyway."

Oh, but he could. Mostly, anyway. Snow was a weather thing, right? They could make weather things! Or at least, Orange Pack Tracker's stick could. Snappy couldn't express that thought through chirps and growls though. Instead, he jumped out of Pink Fluff's jacket and raced across New Home, towards the den of females. The cabin boy was stunned for a moment before chasing after him with a shriek.

"No! Snappy-san, come back! You can't go in there! Nami-san and Robin-san are hiding presents; you can't peek!"

But he wasn't going to peek, so it was fine. Snappy skidded to a halt in the center of the den, peering around in the dim light. Pink Fluff stopped behind him in the doorway, confused. "Snappy-san? What're you doing?"

"Shi!" Finally! Blue stick spotted! Grabbing the weapon in his jaws, Snappy raced between Pink Fluff's legs and back up on deck. For a moment he thought he would get away, that he'd be able to figure out Pink Fluff's present somewhere secret, but then he heard a whispered word, followed by rapid footsteps and a rush of wind.

"Soru." Pink Fluff scooped Snappy up mid-run, stopping up on the poop deck. Green eyes fixed the raptor with a chastising glare. "Snappy-san… You can't play with that. It's Nami-san's weapon, not a toy."

But he wasn't trying to use it as a toy! Snappy growled when Pink Fluff tried to take the stick. That didn't quite discourage him; it took snapping jaws and a small bite to keep the cabin boy's fingers away. But Pink Fluff still didn't leave completely. Snappy huffed as he began scrabbling his claws over the stick, searching for the tiny buttons that allowed Orange Pack Tracker to control the weather. If his companion wanted to ruin the Christmas surprise, that was his problem.

Snappy searched for several minutes with no results. He was interrupted by a noise of astonished understanding. Pink Fluff stared at him. "You… You actually understand everything we say, don't you? Are you trying to make snow for me?"

"Sha!" Snappy nodded so fast his eyes spun. Finally, one of the humans got it!

"Well, would you mind if I helped then? My fingers are better for this than your claws."

After a moment of consideration, Snappy nodded and yielded the stick. Pink Fluff felt along it, a frown creasing his face as he tried different things. A lot of the grips he was trying looked almost like what Orange Pack Tracker did- almost, but not quite. Snappy nudged Pink Fluff's finger with his nose, tightening the boy's grip and shifting the digit a little to the right. There was an immediate response from the business end of the weapon.

A bolt of lightning shot out across the deck, striking Ma as he emerged from a hatch. Charred and smoking, the swordsman glared around, searching for the source of the attack. "Damn witch! I haven't done anything!"

Then he saw Snappy and Pink Fluff, both looking guilty. Dark eyes narrowed. "Where… How'd you get the witch's wand?"

Pink Fluff pointed at Snappy- the traitor. Cowering into the deck, the raptor tried to disappear as Ma approached. He was startled when a hand came down and patted him on the head, smoothing his quills. "Nice. Just don't let her catch you at it. Now… What're you two trying to do?"

"Make snow." Pink Fluff shifted his grip on the stick again. This time a blast of cold air shot out. Snappy shivered and jumped into Ma's coat.

Ma shrugged. "Can it? I've never seen the witch use snow, just lightning and water."

"It has to! Snowstorms use all the same ingredients as a regular storm, they're just colder." Pink Fluff continued to fiddle. In quick succession, he produced an unseasonably warm wind, a small raincloud, a lot of mist, and six more lightning bolts. The last of these struck the deck next to Orange Pack Tracker as she emerged from the head. Here eyes fixed on the trio on the poop deck, blazing red with anger.

"Zoro… Coby… What the Hell are you doing?"

Ma frowned and remained silent; Pink Fluff shivered, but held firm. "I was just trying to make it snow. Or, well… Snappy-san was the one who took the clima-tact, but it was because he wanted to make snow to make me happy. We just wanted a white Christmas."

High heels tapped rapidly across the deck. Orange Pack Tracker stopped in front of them, snatching her weapon away from the shaky cabin boy. "Well… Since it's Christmas Eve and that's your reason, I guess I won't make you pay for it. But never touch my staff again, understand?"

Snappy and Pink Fluff both nodded. Orange Pack Tracker sighed as she stood, shifting her hands into an unfamiliar position along the stick. "Zoro, you're lucky you weren't actually involved. You're not cute enough to be forgiven so easily. Blizzard Tempo!"

Thick, woolly clouds spread slowly across the sky, accompanied by a chill wind. Ice appeared in the waters around the ship. Then white flakes began to drift down from the sky, large and light as frozen butterflies. Snappy snapped a few in his jaws, surprised when they melted against his tongue. Everyone laughed at his shocked face.

xXx

By the time night fell, huge drifts had built up on the deck of the ship. They were accompanied by a variety of snowmen, from the lumpy stacked balls Pops and Hunting Bird Girl had assembled to an almost realistic sheep by Nose Who Lies and Stinging Sweetheart. The whole crew together had made a flock of snow angels- except for Fire That Protects, who had melted an entire drift when he tried. And he still wasn't even wearing a shirt. Snappy shivered every time he saw that bare chest.

Apparently Spinning Devil agreed. The older pirate lobbed an absolutely massive ball of ice at Fire That Protects, hitting him in the head. "Don Ace, get a shirt on! You're making me cold just looking at you!"

"Make me!" Fire That Protects stuck out his tongue, changing it into a lick of flame as a further taunt. Spinning Devil rolled his eyes, prompting a chuckle from Flower Of Many Hands.

"Oh Ghin, it's Christmas. Stop trying to be a grown up for once and have some fun."

"Well, someone has to be the responsible adult around here, and you, Franky, and Bon-chan aren't volunteering."

Flower Of Many Hands smiled. "But we are. I'm being very responsible- I'm keeping an eye on the captain so he doesn't go overboard in his enthusiasm." She gestured to where Pops was dancing on a rail, a blue eye that most certainly didn't belong to him blinking in the middle of his back.

"How's that supposed to keep Don Luffy from falling overboard?!" Spinning Devil rubbed his temples. "You know what? Fine. You're right. It's Christmas Eve, and I'm following a captain who still believes in Santa Claus. Fuck responsibility."

Putting his jar of dirt on a table, the older man tackled Fire That Protects over the side. Their descent was accompanied by a burst of flame and a shocked yelp. Giant Robot Man laughed and had a ladder lowered before the pair even hit the water.

BLUEJAY

I woke up with a stinging pain in the side of my neck. One of Kaya's needles… Damn. Rubber arms wrapped around my shoulders and soft snoring in my ear told me Nii-chan had been caught too. But we were on watch! They couldn't have drugged us- what if we were attacked? I grabbed my brother's cheek and stretched it until he woke up, looking around in a panic. Not that I would've been able to see anything of value anyway. Too blurry.

"Huh?" Luffy rubbed his eyes and rolled to his feet. "Morning Blue. What's wrong?"

"Kaya drugged us to keep us from catching Santa! But we were on watch, so if we were attacked… Do you see anyone who's not supposed to be here? Any damage? Anything missing?"

"Nope." My brother yawned. "But Sabo and Koala are up on the poop deck watching anyway, so it's fine." Then a thoughtful look came over his face. "Hey… Is it called the poop deck cause you can poop off of it into the water?"

"No idea. Please don't though; Nami would kill you."

We didn't have a Christmas tree, but everyone had placed the presents they'd made in a pile at the base of the mast. Or at least, I thought the pile was made of gifts, as it was a blur of festive colours and that was where I'd placed the sweaters I made. Before I could investigate further- by which I mean sort all the gifts into piles based on who they were for- a great splash drew my attention to the water beside the Thousand Sunny. Something large and dark rose from the waves-and by large, I mean possibly a hundred times the size of our ship. I wasn't sure if it was another vessel or an island whale.

My question was answered before I could ask it by Nii-chan's shout. "Everyone up! We've got a strange ship on the starlord- sarbeam- uh, over there! Prepare for battle!"

Our crew were all on the deck in seconds, still dressed in their pyjamas, weapons clutched in sleepy hands. I strapped on my nekode and fiddled with my tanto, waiting for movement so I knew where to attack. And then a giant figure appeared at the rail of the other ship. Huge and smiling, dressed all in red, a massive white moustache adorning his face. I'd thought Sabo-nii's stories said he had a beard, but maybe I was wrong. Or maybe he'd wanted a change at some point and shaved it.

I removed my nekode even faster than I'd put them on, my eyes turning to stars. "Everyone, stand down!" I yelled, dashing to the rails. "It's Santa!"

A rubber arm wrapped around my waist, the other stretching to grab the strange ship's mast. "Gomu-Gomu no Rocket!"

Luffy and I flew through the air, tumbling and laughing. Santa caught us before we could crash into anyone. And now that we were closer, I could see a lot of people we could've hit. Were they Santa's elves? They were a lot taller than I'd imagined- some of them almost as big as Santa himself- and they looked more like pirates than toymakers. But I'd never seen the elves before, and never gotten a good look at Santa either, so I could be wrong. Or maybe Santa was a pirate- the Tenryuubito probably didn't like that he gave gifts to people other than them, so they probably tried to catch him sometimes.

"Gurarararara! Merry Christmas little ones! But I'm afraid I'm not Santa- although I do know him!" The giant man smiled down at Nii-chan and I. We stared back in confusion.

"You're… not Santa?" Luffy cocked his head to one side. "But you look just like Sabo said Santa does, and it's Christmas…"

"Well, Christmas is a day to spend with family, isn't it? So what better plans could I make than to come see my grandchildren?"

A shiver ran down my spine. I grabbed my brother's hand and ran for the rails, desperate to get back to the Sunny. "Help! Gramps disguised as Santa to trick us!"

"You're cute." Huge hands grabbed our shoulders preventing us from jumping. "Luffy and Bluejay, right? I'm not Garp, I promise. But you have two grandfathers now- or did Dragon forget to tell you?"

Luffy peered up at the stranger, clutching the brim of his hat. "You… Are you that Whitebeard-ossan that Dad mentioned?"

Some of the pirates in the background- yep, definitely pirates, not elves- gasped at my brother's audacity. Whitebeard himself smiled, then flicked Luffy gently on the head. "That's Grandpops to you, brat."

My brother's head snapped back and forth, bouncing around for a little from the force of the affectionate flick. "Oh. Okay. Hey! Dad says you're a famous pirate, right?"

"I am." In the background I could hear some of Grandpops' men muttering about the strongest man in the world and brats who lived under rocks. No one paid any attention to them though.

"That's cool. But I'm gonna be king of the pirates someday, kay? So you can't get to One Piece before me, otherwise I'll have to kick your ass." Luffy released his grip on his hat and looked down at the Sunny. "Also… You should probably let go of me'n Blue before Ace gets mad."

"Gurarara! Cheeky brat! I knew there was a reason I liked you kids." Whitebeard released his hold on our shoulders, but not quickly enough for one overprotective fireball. An orange rocket fired up from our smaller ship, aiming a blazing kick at Whitebeard's head. Ace-nii was easily caught, his flight frozen. A look of astonishment crossed his face; Grandpops scowled.

"Brat… Is that any way to greet your grandfather?"

I could see the gears turning behind Ace's eyes- memories of all the torturous survival training we'd been subjected to by Gramps, all the times we'd tried to attack or flee from the old marine. My eldest brother nodded dazedly. "Yes."

That actually froze Whitebeard for a moment. Then his smile grew wider than ever. "Right- your other grandfather is Garp. I forgot for a second." Grandpops put Ace down and patted him on the head. My eldest brother huffed. Then…

"You… You were Gol D Roger's rival, right? The one man he could never beat?"

Grandpops shot him a curious look. "Yes- although I wouldn't say I ever beat him either, not really. Why?"

Ace-nii's eyes burned- literally. "Someday… Someday I'll do what he couldn't- I'll beat you. Then people will know me for me, instead of as that man's son."

"I look forward to it, Ace."

A feminine man in a lavender kimono frowned. "Has Dragon done something? Surely not- he sounded like he loved these kids more than anything."

No one from our crew was willing to answer; I wasn't sure how many of them even knew who Ace-nii's birth father was- we never usually mentioned that, just that Dad had adopted him. And of Whitebeard's crew… I don't think even Grandpops knew for sure, although he might have suspected. Sabo-nii jumped up on Whitebeard's ship with a polite cough, breaking the tension.

"Yes, well, you won't be attacking anyone today Ace. It's Christmas, after all."

My eldest brother flushed red. "Yeah, yeah, sorry Sabo."

The kimono-wearing man shook his head and smiled. He had a look in his eyes that told me he would be getting the answers out of us someday. But for now, he advanced and held out a hand, introducing himself. "My name is Izo. I'm your uncle, I suppose, if you're Pops' new grandchildren. Or rather, one of your uncles. We're all his sons and daughters."

"Marco and Thatch too? Are they here?"

"Of course they're his sons, but no, they were detained on their way back from monitoring the traitor." Izo aborted his attempt to shake hands, opting instead to trace the scar running down the side of my face. "Oh. You're the poor dear Thatch cut up, aren't you? I'm sorry…"

He thought I was afraid. I shook my head. "No, it's okay. I don't mind; it makes me match my brothers." I gestured to the scars on Ace, Sabo and Luffy's faces. Izo smiled, shaking his head.

"So it does. Well, as long as you don't mind it, I suppose it's none of my business. If you ever did want to cover it up though, I'm sure I could find something that matches your complexion."

I made a face. "You're starting to sound like Bon-chan."

"Well, he must be a very sensible fellow. Perhaps I'll speak with him later."

It didn't take long for a party to arise. We drifted to a tiny, treeless island, anchoring one ship on either side and meeting in the middle. Music immediately started up from Grandpops' crew- one of their divisions had a full band. Nii-chan grumbled something under his breath about how we still needed to find a musician, but he was too excited to be jealous for long.

Jumping the line, I handed out my gifts to the crew first. My hands still burned, but I'd managed to get them all done before going on watch the night before. Barely. A collective silence fell over the Straw Hat section of the party as everyone unfolded their sweaters. Vivi sweatdropped at the garish red and metallic greens.

"They're… so ugly. Normally the things Bluejay makes are much nicer than that."

"They're supposed to be ugly." Sora's voice was muffled slightly as he slipped thick wool over his head. "It's tradition." My cousin leaned over to kiss his girlfriend on the cheek, clasping the necklace he'd made for her around her neck.

Vivi turned bright red as she reached up to touch the bells and pearls. "Thank you Sora. They're beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you."

One of Grandpops' men whistled- I couldn't see who. Sora and Vivi both turned bright red. Beside me, Ace-nii looked conflicted. "Should- If Sora's my cousin, should I be looking after him the way I look after Lu and Blue? He's only a year older than Luffy…"

"NO!" The shout came up from our whole crew in unison- well, except Sabo-nii, who actually appeared to be considering the question. Nami even hit Ace over the head for good measure.

"You shouldn't even be looking after Luffy and Bluejay the way you do! They're seventeen and fourteen, not six and three! Leave Sora's love life alone!"

"Fine, fine. Sheesh Nami, you hit almost as hard as Gramps sometimes. Why don't you ever fight like that?"

"Because I'm not a suicidal moron!"

A news coo swooped down from the sky at that moment, dropping a letter into Conis' lap. Everyone fell silent. The bird saluted and flew away as our psychologist opened the envelope. She smiled as she read it. "It's from my father. He loves the boat I made him, and wants me to send more rubber bands. Apparently all the children are trying to make their own rubber-powered toys now as well."

Usopp beamed while opening the present Kaya had made for him. "I have tonnes! We can send him some tomorrow!" Opening the box, he revealed what appeared at first glance to be a pile of brightly coloured bullets for his Kabuto. Given who they came from, I suspected many of them had sedative or outright toxic properties.

Edging away from the chemistry-happy couple, I peeled open a gift that was labelled To: Bluejay; From: Santa. It made me seriously question the old elf's methods. Wasn't he supposed to know what everyone wanted for Christmas? Then why had he given me a dress? It was simple, pleated plaid- green, red, and white on blue- but it was still a dress. That was the sort of thing I expected from Sabo, not Santa. Had my brother edited my Christmas list when I gave it to him to mail off?

As I glared at the offending fabric, Chopper let out a shriek of joy. "A compound-light microscope with x1500 magnification! That's ten times what my old one could do! Thanks Santa!"

Ace and Sabo frowned, shooting a look I couldn't quite read at Zoro. Our first mate shrugged and looked away, the tips of his ears turning red. I didn't understand what was going on, but whatever it was made my eldest brothers laugh, so it must've been alright.

The rest of the gift exchange passed without incident- well, unless you count Grandpops dropping a piece of paper the size of a small blanket on Nii-chan's head an incident. The page was covered in den-den numbers. When we asked him whose they were, Whitebeard laughed and pointed at the names. He was giving us the numbers for everyone in his fleet. Everyone. Nii-chan looked up at him in confusion.

"Okay. Thanks. But why?"

"Because you're my adorable grandchildren and you should never be without a way to contact your family. See, these are all your aunts and uncles. I know you're after One Piece and you don't want help from your old Grandpops, but I'll feel better if you have these with you. There are things in this world little brats like you can't handle yet. Soon, but not yet."

Whitebeard then proceeded to sweep our whole crew- plus Vivi and Koala- up into a hug, laughing as he did so. I fidgeted, squished between a stunned Bon-chan and a squirming Captain Snappy. It made it nearly impossible to breathe. Ace, the only one capable of meaningful movement, signed what the rest of us were all thinking. He's almost as bad as Gramps!

At some point, Sanji and the cooks from Grandpops' crew disappeared from the gathering. They reappeared around sunset, carrying platters and bowls, steaming dishes of all kinds. Sanji spat his cigarette into the sand, stomping it out before laying the table. "Ladies and shitheads! Soup's on!"

There wasn't an actual table that everyone could sit around; it was more of a buffet. And what a wonderful one it was. Stuffed turkey, cranberry sauce, roasted lamb with veggies, pumpkin and walnut pie, garlic bread, Caesar salad, mince pie, ham, cider, tourtière, butter tarts, candy canes, mashed potatoes, eggnog, fried carp rutabaga casserole, assorted cheeses and fruits, and of course, Sora and Vivi's gingerbread cookies. There was another thing too, that I didn't recognize- it looked like some sort of upside-down cake type thing, or maybe an unfinished one of Sanji's fancy puddings. Much, much larger though, more than enough for two pirate crews even with the vast size of Whitebeard's. Llama must've known what the pudding things was; her eyes lit up when she saw it.

I edged over to my sworn cousin as I filled my plate. "What's that?"

Llama looked at me like I'd grown an extra head. "It's plum pudding. There's little silver charms inside; if you get one in your slice, it tells you what kind of good luck you'll have the next year."

"Cool!" I reached to cut a little slice of the pudding, but Llama grabbed my wrist, shaking her head.

"Not yet. It has to be flamed first."

"Flamed?"

"Just wait. You'll see."

Not far from us, Sanji was scouring the party for… something. I couldn't tell what until he started muttering to himself under his breath. "Rum, rum… Why is the rum always gone?" Our cook shot a dark look in Zoro's direction. "Right- that's why." Eventually, the spiral-browed chef settled on brandy as an acceptable substitute.

Zoro leapt up when Sanji poured brandy over the plum pudding. "Oi! What're you doing shit cook? That's a waste of good alcohol!"

"It has to be flamed, you moss-headed barbarian!"

"Like Hell I'm letting you set it on fire! At least if the brandy's soaked into the cake people can still sort-of drink it!"

"Brandy's what most people in our world actually used as their first choice," Llama whispered to me before heading off. She got between Zoro and Sanji right before they started to fight.

"Stop!" She pleaded, eyes wide over the edge of her scarf. It looked like she was about to cry, although there was mischief in her body language. Llama was a good actor. Both combatants froze; Zoro scowled.

"But the shit cook's wasting good alcohol!"

"It's supposed to be done that way," Llama informed our swordsman, "It's tradition. Just try it and you'll understand. Please. And you can't fight on Christmas- not with family."

Our first mate melted. I'd never seen him soften so fast before, except when he was napping with Chopper and thought no one could see. Zoro rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Ah Hell, you're right I guess. Sorry Sa- nope can't say it. Sorry Swirly-Brows. But don't go making a habit of this, got it?"

"Of course not; I know shitty marimos need to be watered regularly with alcohol to grow properly." Sanji patted Llama on the head as he turned back to finish dousing the pudding. "Thanks Llamb-chan."

Of course, then there was the issue of how to light such an enormous plum pudding on fire in the first place. At least, until Kaku rolled his eyes. We'd moved him to the island so he could be part of the celebrations, though he was still chained. Bon-chan was watching him, nominally- in reality, our okama was more preoccupied with trying to put on a one-man rendition of The Nutcracker. The result was hilarious.

"Why doesn't the fish with the flame fruit just do it? You use his powers for just about everything else."

Chopper turned to look at Llama and Sanji. "Is that allowed?" Both shrugged, which everyone else took as a yes.

Bon-chan paused in his dancing. "Now remember Flare-boy, nothing too big. It's already been cooked."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Ace-nii waved a hand, a single tiny fireball floating out. "Hotarubi: Purin!"

The previously dim evening lit up like day as the massive pudding flamed brilliant orange. It was accompanied by a brief wash of heat before the fire swiftly died, the brandy burning off. The air smelled of burnt sugar and dried fruit. I turned to Llama.

"Now can I eat some?"

"Yes, now's fine."

In hindsight, I should've paid more attention to what Llama said about silver charms. I nearly broke a tooth on a tiny sea king. Nii-chan laughed as I spat it out- which led to him nearly choking on a silver anchor from his own slice of pudding.

As usual, the party lasted well into the night. Some time around midnight, it started to snow- this may or may not have been Nami's fault. We would never know. But it was then, with snow falling, everyone slightly drunk (yes, even Kaku), and the captains wearing fluffy Santa hats that the most magical part of Christmas began. Spontaneous carolling, complete with an unchoreographed dance number led by Ghin and Bon-chan.

"We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas

And a Happy New Year

Good tidings we bring

To you and your kin

We wish you a Merry Christmas

And a Happy New Year

Now bring us some figgy pudding

Now bring us some figgy pudding

Now bring us some figgy pudding

And a cup of good cheer

We won't go until we get some

We won't go until we get some

We won't go until we get some

So bring it right here

So bring us some figgy pudding

So bring us some figgy pudding

So bring us some figgy pudding

And bring it right here

Good tidings we bring

To you and your kin

We wish you a Merry Christmas

And a Happy New Year!"

DRAGON

He was drinking eggnog in front of the fire when Koala arrived- what? Even the most wanted man in the world needed a break over the holidays. So Dragon was understandably surprised when one of his top agents appeared in his office, slapping a thick folder down on his desk.

"Reporting in from Paradise, near Lovely Land." Koala saluted with a smile. Dragon raised his eyebrows.

"I thought you were off visiting my children for a Christmas party."

"Exactly sir. Which is why I thought you'd want to see this report immediately."

Oh, she was a cheeky one. Dragon put his mug down and opened the folder. Inside were pictures of the entire Straw Hat crew- and several members of the Whitebeard pirates as well. Ghin dancing with Bon-chan. Sora and Vivi under the mistletoe. Sabo and Koala trying to force Bluejay into a plaid dress. Coby and Ace throwing snowballs at each other. Llama snuggling Chopper. Luffy holding Zoro and Sanji apart as they tried to attack each other. Robin and Conis braiding each other's hair. Captain Snappy sitting on the lap of what appeared to be a terrified CP9 agent that Dragon's children had captured. Nami blasting a large, metal man (the new shipwright, probably) in the face with snow. And several photos of Whitebeard hugging armfuls of pirates at a time while wearing a Santa hat. Those pictures... They looked like… Love.

"So you picked up Vivi on your way. Did you take her home as well?"

"Yes sir." Koala shot him a sad look. "You know… You could've come with us. I think it would've made them happy. Well, even happier."

"I didn't want to risk running into my father-in fact, I'm amazed that he didn't show up." Dragon smiled at Koala-a soft smile that he rarely used, rather than his usual smirk of plotting. "Thank you for the pictures. Now… If you're up for it, I need you to find Bunny Joe. He disappeared partway through our Christmas party last night, and I'm worried he's running around in the island naked and confused again."

"What makes you think that sir?"

"No one's seen Bunny Joe himself, but Hack found his pants on a flagpole this morning."

Paling, Koala saluted and raced out of the room. She nearly ran over Ivankov on her way out, apologizing in a rush of words. The okama queen laughed as xe walked up to Dragon's desk with a folder.

"That little candy's certainly in good spirits this morning. Here Dragon-boy; the reports you've been waiting for from the West Blue just came in."

"Thank you Ivankov." He really didn't feel like going through actual reports right now; there were still so many Straw Hat party pictures to look through. Koala's poor visual den-den must be exhausted. Maybe he should give her a second one…

"That's a fabulous scarf Dragon-boy. Where did you get it?"

Shaken out of his thoughts by his friend's voice, Dragon looked down. He'd almost forgotten what he was wearing- a fluffy green scarf with red patterns that matched his tattoos. "My children sent it to me for Christmas. I suspect Bluejay made it and Luffy did the card."

"YOU HAVE CHILDREN?!"

Dragon chuckled. "Of course. I'm just as human as the rest of you; I can love. So much love…" He smiled down at the photos. His family. Even if he wasn't with them, he loved them more than anything. And it's true, wherever you find love, it feels like Christmas. Even if you're hundreds of kilometers away in a secret base drenched in white.