AN: Hey guys. So, I realized that the last chapter was a little heavy so here's some fluff. I know it's short but I'm excited about the next chapter so I got this on out of the way so we could get to the fun stuff. Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy.


How Not To

Chapter Twenty-Eight

(Callie P.O.V.)

I got home a couple hours ago. Haven't had that very large glass of red wine. I've been staring at my bedroom ceiling for an hour now. The sun has gone down and the moon is letting in a bright glow illuminating my whole room. For the first time since I laid down my eyes fall on to the city to my left. My heart strings tug knowing there are people out there living their lives. I can't help but feel slightly envious. In a matter of twenty four hours my life has flipped completely upside down. My favorite and most promising resident died in my OR. And Arizona… My eyes fall on to the empty spot in my bed that has been occupied by Arizona for the past few weeks. I can only imagine how she felt when she found me. I need to see her. Despite what ever went on in that office today I know it wasn't her fault. I just wish my brain was working better when she found me. Grabbing my phone from where it rests on my hip, I unlock it and find Arizona in my recently called list. Clicking her name, I put my phone up to my ear and wait for her voice to grace my line. A smile forms on my lips when she picks up right after the first ring.

"Callie?" My eyes slowly fall closed as her voice reaches my ears. There is unmistakable worry laced in her tone.

"Hey…" I hear shuffling on the other end of the line, sounding much like Arizona sitting up in bed. A pang of sadness hits me as I realize I probably woke her up.

"Hey, are you okay? I wasn't expecting to hear from you tonight." I sit up in my own bed and run my hand through my hair.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up." There's a few seconds of silence and I can hear the in and out of Arizona's breathing on the other line along with some more shuffling.

"It's fine Callie. Are you okay?" I let out a sigh and lay back down.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanted to hear your voice." The sound of a door shutting makes its way through the line. "What are you doing?" The sounds of traffic start to filter through the line now.

"I'm coming over. You don't sound okay and you wouldn't have called me for nothing." My heart swells with Arizona's words.

"You don't have to do that. It's okay." I can hear Arizona start her car.

"No. I want to see you. I need to see that you're okay." A smile falls on to my lips and I can't help but wonder how someone this amazing found their way into my life.

"I love you." I hear a small laugh from Arizona.

"I love you too. I'll be there in a few minutes." I hang up my phone and toss it on the bed. Why does she have to be so amazing? I love her so much. Shaking my head, I push away the look on her face when she found me on the roof. Like her hope was hanging on a string about to break. That is one look I will never forget. I get up from my bed and grab a hoodie from the closet. Making my way into the kitchen I pull out a bottle of wine from the fridge and two glasses. I busy myself for a few minutes by straightening up the living room, tossing pillows back on the couch and folding the stitched t-shirt blanket I had made back in New York. A knock on the door pulls me from looking at the t-shirts on the blankets. Knowing its Arizona, I make my way over to the door. Opening it my eyes fall on Arizona. She's standing there with my grey sweater on that disappeared years ago, a pair of light wash skinny jeans, and a pair of white bobs shoes. She doesn't have a trace of make up on. Her hair is thrown haphazardly in a bun. This is my favorite version of Arizona. Dressed in comfy clothes, not a stitch of make-up on her face. Her professional work façade is long gone. Now she's just Arizona. The woman I fell in love with all those years ago. A slight smile pulls on Arizona's lips.

"Hi…" Her voice is quiet and groggy with tiredness. My eyes catch the movement of her fingers fidgeting where they rest laced in front of her thighs.

"Hi…" I step aside so she can come in. Her eyes don't leave mine as she makes her way in. We stand there taking each other in leaving the room in quietness. Arizona is the first to break it.

"Can I uhm…" Her eyes fall to her fingers that are spinning the white gold thumb ring on her finger. I step closer and use my index finger to raise her chin to meet my gaze. Her beryl colored eyes flicker down to my lips then back up in a split second. Understanding the words that had yet to come from her lips I lean forward slightly and place a kiss on them. A small whimper comes from Arizona and I place a hand on her cheek. Arizona runs her hands up my arms, one cupping the back of my neck and the other tangling in my hair. I drop my free hand to her hip and pull her flush against me. Time slips as I drown in the taste and feel of Arizona's lips. Her lips taste of Burt's Bees coconut pear chapstick – her go to flavor- and the feeling of familiarity rushes through me. Memories flash through my mind of all the kisses we have shared. The ones full of love and longing. The ones full of passion and hunger. The emotions conveyed between us with each kiss we shared through the years, they are infinite. It feels like coming home from a long trip. The familiar comfort you have known and loved for years. I pull back from the kiss slightly and Arizona leans in again reconnecting our lips. It's a slow chaste kiss. Feather light but it still manages to convey a small message of love. We pull away from the kiss but we fall into a hug. Arizona burrowing her face into my neck and I rest my head on hers. The days emotions start bubbling over my walls.

"I'm sorry." My voice comes out cracked and I mentally chastise myself. Arizona picks her head up and meets my eyes.

"It's okay." I tuck a loose strand of hair from her bun behind her ear and give her a sad smile.

"No, it's not. You didn't deserve to be treated like that. I ran when you tried to talk to me. That wasn't okay." My eyes search her face and a knot forms in my throat. "My mind was fogged up. But you are still my top priority. I should've talked to you. I should've let you talk, but instead I just shut down. And for that I am so very sorry. I promised you I had changed and I did the exact same thing I did last time. I pushed you away and walked away." Closing my eyes, I try to will away the sting on the back of my eyes from unshed tears. "I'm so sorry. Despite what happened today I should've still given you the chance to explain. You're face. It… you looked so hurt. Like I took a baseball bat to your heart." Arizona cocks her head to the side slightly with a sad smile on her face.

"It's okay." The first tear rolls down my cheek as I start to shake my head. I go to open my mouth and speak but Arizona beats me to it. "Callie. You are my number one priority I understand why you reacted the way you did. You had a lot happen today. But coming into my office. That was your breaking point. Yes, I was hurt that I wasn't given the chance to explain. But I know why you reacted that way. I might've felt better if there was yelling involved but silence. That kills me. You're scary when you're quiet. It's kind of scaring me that you haven't even asked what happened yet." Arizona draws her eyebrows together in confusion. My eyes drop to the floor. The question has been laying in the recesses of my brain so I figure why not ask now.

"So, did you kiss her?" I bring my gaze back up to meet Arizona's. She shakes her head no and bring a hand down to lace her fingers with mine.

"No, we had just finished surgery. I needed to go finish some paperwork so I went to my office. She knocked on my door and asked to come in. She started talking about Karev and how much he's grown up. I thought we could be civil and talk like normal but I was wrong. She started saying these things…" Arizona drops her eyes and the corners of her lips tug down in a frown. "I was so stupid. I should've stopped her. I didn't think she would try something this time. She had been nothing but professional. All I did was turn my head to face her dead on and she kissed me. My body froze then I snapped. I slapped her. Hard." She lets out a humorless chuckle and my heart cracks with the sudden look of pain on her face. "Alex barged in. All I remember is seeing red and hearing my heart in my ears. Then he told me you had come in. It was like my world had stopped spinning. Like everything we had worked for to rebuild. It just came crashing down around me. If I hadn't been so stupid. None of this would've happened." For the first time, a tear rolls down Arizona's cheek but she looks away hastily wipes it away. "I love you Callie. No one else. Nothing else matters. You and Sofia. That's all I need." My heart starts constricting in my chest as the hurt in Arizona's voice becomes evident. Arizona opens her mouth to finish what she was saying but I shake my head cutting her off.

"Enough, I trust you. I told you that I trust you. I know you wouldn't jeopardize what we have. You were in such a bad place when she was here last. But this time, she made a move and you reacted in the appropriate manner. That's all I ask of you. I'm in this. So in this. I'm not going anywhere. Not this time. I lost so much when I walked away. I can't do that again. But I can promise you one thing." My eyes meet Arizona's gaze and I put on a small smile. "When I see her tomorrow? It's on. She's going to need the second best ortho surgeon to fix what I break." My comment earns a small laugh from Arizona and it goes straight to my heart making it swell. We fall into a comfortable silence and my eyes glance around my apartment. They land on the two wine glasses on the counter. "Do you uhm, want a glass of wine. I was about to pour one when you got here. Arizona looks in the direction of the kitchen.

"Yeah sure." I make my way to the kitchen with Arizona following me. When I get to the counter I start pouring wine into the glasses. When I look up to hand Arizona her glass she is already looking at me. When she takes the glass, she gives me a sad smile. "Are you okay?" I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"Yeah, why?" I take a sip of wine and I only get more confused when Arizona's face contorts into something that looks like hurt.

"Tyler…" And for the millionth time today it feels a semi-truck hits me. I slowly sit down my wine glass and my eyes stay locked on the yellowish clear liquid inside of it.

"I forgot… again…" I look up to meet Arizona's gaze and my heart twists with the look of hurt on her face. "I'm dealing. It sucks. A lot. She celebrated four years last night with her boyfriend. They had been through so much and I couldn't even muster the courage to tell him she…" I clear my throat unable to say the actual word. "Then Bailey got upset because I told the other residents about her. But she didn't seem to be bothered about the fact Owen nearly had to pull me away from her because I wasn't ready to let her go. She was flat lining and had been down for twenty-seven minutes. I couldn't let her go. She was only twenty-four. She was given this big life to live and it was taken away from her in a heartbeat. When I close my eyes, I see her laying on that table, pale, Owen pulling at my shoulder to step away." I tear my eyes away from Arizona and look out of the window above her shoulder. "I should not have been in there." My eyes shoot down to my hands as flashbacks of my trembling hands were doing compressions on her chest. "She was long gone and I was bargaining with whatever god was listening to bring her back. She was like a daughter to me. And now the last memory I have of her is her lifeless body laying on that OR table." Now my hands start to tremble so I clench them into tight fists to keep them from shaking. "I was about to text her and ask her to bring me coffee I was on the way to the conference room to tell the other residents about her death. It's not real yet. It doesn't feel real. Her name was on the tip of my tongue when I needed help in a surgery today. I was about to have a scrub nurse page her but then I remembered. That she's…" I feel the tears starting to flow so I push the heels of my hands to my eyes to will them away.

"Hey…" I feel Arizona's fingers wrap around my wrists pulling them down. "Come here." She tugs on my wrists and brings me around the counter so I'm standing right in front of her. She gently pulls my hands down and the tears that had been collecting freely fall down my cheeks. She gives me a sad smile and wipes the tears from my cheeks. "You are so incredibly strong Callie. You went through so much today. Let your walls down. You're allowed to break down." My walls start to crumble with her words. Arizona quickly becomes blurred from tears. She pulls me down to her and I nestle my face into her neck and let the tears finally fall. "You can break. Break on me. I'll catch you." Arizona's arms tighten around me and I finally break. My body becomes over taken with sobs and I can feel myself trembling in Arizona's arms. Arizona holds me close rubbing circles across my back and places an occasional kiss on the top of my head. "I've got you. Let it out."