Sometimes, despite her best efforts, Alphys still lied. It was never on purpose, and never about others; rather, it usually ended up being about herself - or more specifically, her emotional status.
"I'm fine," she'd say, when she obviously wasn't.
"It's nothing," she'd insist, when it was clearly something.
"It's not a big deal," she'd protest, when everything pointed to the opposite.
It drove Undyne crazy. She knew it wasn't Alphys's fault, that to lie was her default when it came to personal matters. Years of lying - especially to Undyne - had made Alphys wary of sharing anything emotional about herself, especially if she, herself, didn't want to get into it.
Alphys never wanted to burden Undyne with her problems, despite knowing, deep down, that lying was far worse than honesty. She hated doing that to Undyne, hated it even more now that they were married. She knew she could trust Undyne with her problems, but something held her back, and instead, she kept them to herself.
Once, Undyne finally lost her temper. It was one lie too many, and Undyne was sick of it. So when, in response to her question of, "Why are you so quiet?", Alphys murmured, "Nothing, just stupid thoughts," Undyne slammed her fist onto the dining room table and glared at her. The gesture startled Alphys into dropping her fork, her eyes going wide in shock, but Undyne's temper was fried, and she kept glaring.
"Bullshit!" she snarled, baring her teeth. "Alphys, stop lying to me!"
Alphys went pale, and immediately began to backtrack - or at least try to. "I-I just m-mean, when it comes d-down to it, th-they're stupid-,"
"No!" Undyne interrupted, her eye blazing. "Stop! Stop lying! Tell me the truth, Alphys!"
Alphys stared at her. How could she even begin to explain? "Th-the date today," she stammered, her voice tiny. She was still staring at Undyne, unable to look away. "It-it's bad."
Undyne blinked. "What are you talking about?" she demanded, still angry and unable to calm her voice.
"T-today was when..." Alphys looked down, her face falling at once. "T-today w-was when... th-the amal-amalgamates f-formed..."
Undyne froze, her stomach falling, especially when Alphys began to cry, softly, her head lowering so that her face was averted. When Undyne said nothing, Alphys went on. "Th-they just... c-collapsed... a-and lost their f-forms, and the sounds..." She began to shake, those cries of dismay still fresh in her mind, years later. "Th-they looked a-at me like I b-betrayed them, because I-I had, and... and..." Her voice broke, and she covered her face, sobbing, now, the memories destroying the last of her walls.
Undyne got up and went to her side, leaning down and hugging her. Alphys didn't move, didn't even lean against her; she just sat there and wept, hard, her whole body trembling from the memory of that day. Her words were gone, stolen by the pain of her grief and her regret.
Carefully, Undyne leaned down closer and kissed her forehead, regret of her own filling her, so much that her eye filled with tears. Alphys hunched over, covering her face, crying so hard that she sometimes choked on her tears.
"Th-they trusted m-me," Alphys sobbed out. "They tr-trusted me and I-I destroyed them!"
"No, Alphy, no..." Undyne said carefully, rubbing Alphys's back slowly.
"Yes!" Alphys protested, her voice high with tears. "I ruined lives, families, everyone!" She lowered her head further. "I'm horrible, Undyne! I'm n-nothing but a fraud! I d-dont deserve to be happy, to be alive!"
"Alphy..." Undyne pulled her closer, and finally, finally, Alphys stood up and clung to her, her claws digging in hard, breaking down and practically wailing out her grief, her words gone. "Alphy, my love," Undyne murmured, holding her close. "It's okay. It's okay."
"N-no," Alphys protested brokenly. "I hate myself... I hate myself..."
"It's alright, Alphy."
"I d-deserve to be hated. I deserve t-to die!"
"No," Undyne snapped, holding her tighter. "No, you don't. You made a mistake, and you've made amends. No one hates you..." Undyne paused, closing her eye. "No one except you."
"I do," Alphys agreed. "I hate myself so much. I loathe myself."
"You shouldn't," Undyne whispered, her voice wavering. "You made a mistake and no one hates you." She paused, listening to Alphys take in a choked breath. "Alphy, I'm sorry for hurting you."
"You didn't!" Alphys raised her head, her face tear-streaked and miserable. "You should hate me, Undyne! How can you even stand me?! How?!"
Undyne kissed her lightly, once, and Alphys sobbed again, wincing, looking away and lowering her head. "Because I love you, my wife," Undyne said softly.
"Don't," Alphys pleaded, still not looking at her. "D-don't love me. I-'m unlovable, unlikable, and undeserving. I-I'm garbage..."
Undyne pulled her closer, so that she could bury her face into Undyne's shoulder - which she did, instinctively. "You're not, my love," said Undyne.
"Undyne..." Alphys sobbed, her voice breaking. "I sh-should have n-never told you..."
"I'm glad you did," Undyne answered honestly. "I'm so glad you did." It was the truth. Alphys's grief was messy, loud, and almost scary in its intensity, but Undyne didn't care; all she cared about was that Alphys was finally opening up and letting all of this out, instead of letting it fester inside. To Undyne, the agony of her grief merely confirmed that. This had obviously been withheld for a very, very long time.
"No..." Alphys protested. "No, no, no."
"Shh..." Undyne kissed her forehead again gently. "It's okay, Alphy. It's okay. Those families... you don't know, do you?"
Alphys shrugged, still sobbing, her claws digging into Undyne's back.
"When they returned to their families, Alphy, the monsters related to those amalgamates realised they were now related, too. You united people, made new families."
Alphys's sobs froze for a moment in her shock. She hadn't known. When she let the amalgamates go home, she then hid away from those families, terrified of their hatred and fury. Even when they sent her letters, she threw them away, too scared to read them. She'd never imagined anything other than hate because, if the positions had been reversed, she'd hate her, too.
"It's true, my love," Undyne continued. "Remember, most of those families were part of my Guard. So I know. They told me, sweetie."
Alphys stayed silent, but her sobs quieted slightly. Undyne leaned down and rested her cheek on the top of her head, still slowly rubbing her back.
"You made a mistake, a big one. But it turned into something good despite it, my love," Undyne concluded.
Alphys whispered, "Th-they don't h-hate me?"
"No, Alphy. And neither should you."
Alphys sobbed again, but it sounded different; it was a relieved cry, one that was both sad and glad, in a minute way.
After a moment, Undyne said, very carefully, "Why would you lie about that?"
Alphys clung to her."Sh-shame," she admitted. "A-and I didn't want to... burden you."
"What burdens me is the weight of being lied to," Undyne said. "I'd rather you sob on my shoulder than be calm, if it means your honesty."
"Wh-why?"
"Because I love you, nerd."
Alphys raised her head to look at her, and she looked back, smiling a little, hoping to reassure her. Alphys's lips trembled, and she sobbed again, burying her face back into Undyne's shoulder.
"I... I..." she said, her voice muffled and small. "I'll do my best to n-never lie to you again, Undyne. I'm so sorry!"
"Don't be sorry," Undyne replied gently. "Just be honest."
"I will, Undyne. I will."
"Thank you, Alphy. That's all I want. Just share with me. I promise, I'm strong enough to share the weight."
"Undyne..." Alphys sobbed out. "I... I love you... I love you..." She kept saying it, And Undyne held her close, returning her love each time.
