"Ashlee!!"

There was only one recliner to a room and Doris graciously took the first shift watching over Ava so that Olivia could lie in it and finally relax. Fighting to hold down the laughter after Nurse Ratchett left Olivia walked over to Ava's side and as she stroked her daughter's hair tears began to flow. Now that Ava was lying still and hardly moving other than the slight dips her chest made Olivia's mind began to imagine and wonder what if. What if the bullet had move this way or that? What if she'd been alone? What if this time unlike the other times when she saw her daughter lying prone in a hospital bed she would not be okay. What if?

"She's fine Olivia. Your baby is fine and she's coming home with us in a couple of hours." Doris said still standing near the door giving her best friend space and time to reign in her emotions. "She'd better be fine or Ashlee's going to kill her."

"She's not the sweet one anymore uh?" Olivia joked with her eyes still glassy and her cheeks still wet.

"Who knew all it took to toughen her up was to start dating a Spencer? I would have suggested it years ago" Doris said easing deeper into the room. Physically exhausted and emotionally drained Olivia stumbled backwards on to the recliner on her way to the restroom to wash her face. "Hey why don't you just lay down and take a nap" wrapping Olivia in the extra blanket from the bed Doris pulled up the footrest and effectively shut down any chance of escape. Then barked "rest" in the same tone she directed towards the chief of police. That was over three hours ago. The phone just rang when she tried to call Blake and she wasn't in much mood to speak to her deputy so she sat beside the bed of the women who'd taught her about friendship.

"Ashlee"

Dozing but after hearing someone cry her daughter's name Doris bolted upright disoriented. "Wha?" looking to the right Olivia was still sleeping but Ava was shifting in bed trying her best to get out. "Are you completely insane? You've just been shot if you'd forgotten." she hissed from her chair fighting not to fall back asleep. "You've just been shot and if you hurt something and can't go home tomorrow Ashlee and Olivia will have my head so settle down." Doris could have easily been talking to a brick wall as far reaction went because Ava said nothing and didn't acknowledge that Doris had even spoken. It wasn't until Ava sat up and started to finger the tape holding down the needle in her arm that Doris rushed to her side and forced Ava's head up to her own. "Ava?"

"Where is she? I have to make sure she's fine" Ava responded without her eyes ever becoming focused or alert but now her feet swung out to touch the floor. "Ashlee?"

"Ava, Ash is fine she's at your house with Blake and Natalia. They'll be back later. She's fine Ava" But the slight string of drool forming on the side of Ava's mouth made Doris suspect that she was wasting her breathe so she just pushed Ava back down and moved her feet back underneath the covers.

Once Ava was again cocooned in down and cotton she gave one more hallow attempt to push up and whispered "Ash" before turning her head and falling asleep.

This beautiful young woman had almost cost her a best friend, complicated her already precarious relationship with her daughter, but she had also held her close when no else would, and encouraged her when she needed it most. Ava was the woman who risked her life to save her daughter and if none of the other things had occurred that fact alone bonded them to each other for life. "Ava she's okay. She's fine thanks to you. I promise." After checking on Ava after returning from trying Blake once again she heard Ava crying softly. Realizing that Ava was sleeping she looked to Olivia but found no help at that end because she was near comatose. Fuck me. "Ava?" Stroking her fingers through short sweaty hair she remembered nights long ago when she'd done this same thing for Ashlee years ago. Might as well, damn just so she won't wake up or disturb Olivia Doris reasoned as she carefully climbed beside Ava singing softly the song she used to chase Ashlee's tears away "blue jean baby, LA Lady seamstress for the band. Pretty eyed pirate smile you'll marry a music man" When she got to the chorus like Ashlee before her Ava was asleep and completely relaxed but like then Doris continued singing. "oh how it feels so real lying here with no one near only you and you can hear me as I say softly slowly" and from the right side of the room she heard "hold me closer tiny dancer count the headlights on the highway lay me down in sheets of linen" and looked up into Olivia's watery smile and added "you had a busy day today" Before she dozed off they sang two more Elton John songs and one Cat Stevens.

It was almost three am and twenty four hours ago at this time Olivia didn't yet know if she was still the mother of two almost three daughters. She didn't know if she would have to say goodbye to one more person she loved and she didn't know if this final loss would claim her as well. As a young child she lost her father and as a teenager she'd lost her mother and as a very young adult she lost her baby sister. Olivia had not held Ava after giving birth and once the nurse took her out of the delivery room Olivia pushed the child's existence out of her mind. It had never occurred and even when she was busy preparing for Emma's birth the first one never impinged on her conscious. But now after trading places with Doris and holding Ava stroking back the damp hair and breathing in her slightly sweaty slightly citrus slightly spicy scent Olivia could almost imagine what it would have felt like to hold her all those years ago. "if you're lost you can look and you will find me time after time. If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting time after time"

"My momma, Catherine used to sing Van Morrison to me when I was sick. I got so upset when I realized that she hadn't written Brown Eyed Girl especially for me and that other people knew the song. I was sad for a week" Ava softly laughed. Olivia and she never really talked about her momma other than if she had a happy childhood. Ava didn't know if Olivia didn't think she had the right to ask or if she felt it would be too painful. At times it was confusing because for eighteen years Catherine Peralta had loved and cared for her and had been her mother. If she had never gone to Springfield she doubted that Olivia would have ever sought her out. There were still times Ava went to the phone to share something that she knew would make Catherine laugh or vent after a hard day and it still left her blind with tears once she realized again that her momma was gone. What if she'd never died Ava wondered.

"What else did she do when you were sick?" Olivia asked tentatively not knowing if now was the right time to delve into the life her child had with another woman. A woman who loved and provided for her child because she refused. What would her mother feel about her and Ava reconciling because she knew if the position were reversed it would kill her.

Ava laughed softly and looked up "She'd let me eat junk. She was a health nut but when I was sick she let me have kool aide and even pudding cups but only after if I took my medicine without crying"

"Your mom and Natalia would have gotten along just fine then" Olivia said while rolling her eyes.

"Yeah I think they would have spent all day comparing recipes and she would have loved the farm"

With what she hoped was a level voice Olivia asked the one question she'd wanted to ask since she'd realized how happy her daughter's life had been without her. Ava had not spent years wondering what her birth mother looked like or what she was like. Ava's mom had loved her so absolutely that she'd never felt anything other than Ms Peralta's child. "What would she have thought of me?" Ava backed away from her and looked her into Olivia's eyes. She hadn't responded and Olivia knew her child well enough now to know that she it wasn't because she sitting back considering Olivia's feelings. Ava like herself often didn't edit. "It's okay you don't have to answer that."

"She would have, she would have probably never spoken to you." Well she'd asked the question. "I mean my momma was a lot like Natalia. She was constantly telling me to think more about what I said and to try to be nicer. I can't tell you how many time she'd nudge me when I was talking to people. It got so bad I'd step out of elbow room when we were near someone I didn't like cause I knew she wouldn't make a scene and I wouldn't bite my tongue."

"So I'm guessing it's genetic. Natalia's going to have so much fun with Emma" Olivia responded trying to lighten the conversation.

Ava continued as if Olivia never spoke "sometimes people would say mean things because we were poorer or she couldn't be at all my events because of work but I never let anyone bad mouth her around me. She didn't want to be a bad influence but I could tell that half the time she wasn't mad at all but she didn't think it was proper. She just didn't want to encourage me"

"Like you need it anyway"

"I miss my momma more than I could tell you. Sometimes I lie in bed remembering everything and I wish she were here." Of course she knew that she'd never replace Ms Peralta. The woman spent eighteen years loving a child and their four years most of them filled with anger and tension would never erase that. Catherine Peralta taught Ava how to read and told her about Santa Claus and Catherine Peralta was the woman Ava had always pictured as her children's grandmother. I have her now and it's more than I deserve. "so I could tell her all about you. So you and Natalia and Emma could be a part of our family."

Once Olivia regained her voice and murmured a hundred kisses and soft I love yous she started "sha la la la la la la sha la la la la I hear a song that makes me think of a girl I used to know"