Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance
"Months had passed since returning with Sesshomaru to the Estate. Ichiou was considered a casualty of battle and his body never was found. Davien never returned to the estate either and everything was normal, so to be expected. Fate had finally smiled down on me and like all turning points in life; mine would never be the same."
.
The light filtered into the room threw the glossy curtains making my eyes open. It was too bright to go back to sleep. I made the effort to stay silent and still while listening to the steady movement of 'his' breathing. Whenever Sesshomaru knew that was what I was doing though he would get out of bed immediately.
"You are doing it again." I smiled and turned over. His eyes more yellow in the light than amber, I rested my head on my hands.
Time changed so much.
"I was not." He knew whenever I lied. It was tiresome when I wanted to get away with something, but I had also gotten good at reading things about him. Something that bothered him far more than it bothered me.
"No?" I hid my smile into the linen.
"No." I mumbled and he uncovered my face again. "You sleep too much... and too long."
"You just missed me." He forced a frown and I pulled myself into him. I am blessed.
It was strange. From the time we had returned it almost seemed like we had gone back in time and nothing had ever happened, but slowly it did changed. As much as he stayed by me, he was... happier looking about it. I couldn't have wanted more. Even after my original room had been repaired, I never returned to it. There was nothing done other than conversation and sleep in the room, but it did not mater. There was a bond that I didn't think could ever be broken. He seemed content with the way things were... aside from his restlessness recently.
"Nonsense. You are right here." I laughed and the visible stressed dropped away from him. It was always like that. He was always tense and thinking so hard on everything, but just a simple laugh and his worries drifted away.
"And if I wasn't, would you miss me?" I was purposely bugging him. I loved the way he avoided the questions he didn't want to answer. He had too much pride it seemed to risk saying such 'romantic' words. His jealousy on the other hand I had learned of very quickly. It was a possessive drive and I believed that was why he traversed after me, everywhere.
"You are never not here." I let it go. I knew what the answer was even if he would not say it.
"True. Something I have little issue with." He lost the temperamental look on his face.
"Little?" He sat up from the bed; he was already dressed. He did not need sleep like I did and so he simply rested next to me. It took a long time to get used to the thought of someone watching you sleep.
"You think too much." He always read too much into what I said and knew he would purposely speak in the riddles instead of staying anything outright. I wondered if he thought I may be taken again and that was why he watched over me to... piously. I was never left alone; for long.
"Impossible." He waited for me to get out of bed as usual.
"Do not be that way." I wrapped my arms behind him and lightly squeezed. He was a seemingly lean framed man, but I could never get my arms all the way around. My hands were very small compared to his as well. It sometimes bothered me at night when the moon shone, his shadow would consume mine on the wall and you would never have known I was there.
There were other small things that bothered me; things Sesshomaru simply would not hear. The main one I wanted to know about was when I was forced to jump from the third floor.
When I was 'alone' this was the one thing that vexed me to no end. Why, what had happened to him? Why would he not speak of it to me?
"I am myself. I do not change." I set my head against his back and listened to the not so steady sound of his heart beating in his chest.
"No? Than we have a difference of opinion." I felt his eyes as I left the room with the cloths I would wear after bathing. I did it in the morning ever since Davien had taken me. It wasn't that I didn't feel safe, but I could not explain it. Even to myself.
The other thing that flustered me was the return of my heavier toxins. For a while, there had been few times when I was of little danger to people. Now even Jaken had problems. It was almost as if my venom had doubled since it had waned. I was worse than ever. Only Sesshomaru was unaffected, having poisons in him his-self. He had a natural born immunity to me.
"Bother... I sound like a plague."
The bathing pool was set up for me. Jaken had been ever so caring since I returned. I noticed he missed me calling him master Jaken. He enjoyed simple things.
.
As much as I had returned to a 'relatively' health state, I slept ill. As Sesshomaru said, I did sleep too long. Even for a human, my rest was not fitful. Although better than before, I dreamed of things. Things I could not recall when I woke. Things I was afraid of... I had no protection against.
"So many good things... and yet the little things... trouble me." I bathed quickly unlike most days. I dried off, dressed and left pausing outside the door. The carpet was still singed after my poisons had eaten away at it months before. I sighed.
"Are you ill, Rem?" Jaken hobbled down the path, he always seemed to be just behind me, like Sesshomaru.
"I'm fine Master Jaken. I'm... fine." I left him alone in the hall and skipped breakfast, returning to the master room. When I opened the door Sesshomaru was already there.
"You have not eaten yet Rem." His voice was cool and melodic, the sound that made my heart skip beats.
"I am well aware. I'm not hungry this morning..." For some reason I felt almost ashamed, like I had done something wrong.
"You do not sleep." I turned to the window and stared at birds playing in the wind and on the branches of trees.
"You say I sleep too much, now I don't sleep at all?" I could hear his footsteps behind me. I could almost hear his breath.
"You close your eyes, but you are restless. You dream." He paused. "What do you dream?" He could tell the words sounded odd even to himself.
"Dreams? You ask of dreams?" I placed my hands on the window sill. I wouldn't let him worry about things I could not even remember when I woke.
"I'm just tired and restless. It is nothing." He said nothing more and left, the door closing softly behind him.
"We are so different... Both you and I..." I wondered why, after all this... why we are so suddenly distant.
