Chapter Twenty-Nine – Life In A Glass House

As always, I would just like to thank anyone who reviewed, favourited etc. the last chapter, it means a lot, and I love hearing that you are still reading and enjoying the story, especially long time readers, it's great to hear from you! I have a lot of time on my hands at the moment, so I've managed to update quite quickly :D. This chapter is the total opposite of the previous, now we have plenty of dialogue and little description :S. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the chapter, as I'm quite proud of this one. I would love and appreciate any reviews just to let me know that you are still enjoying the story. I promise there will be a lot more romance in the next chapters for any Cas/Kate fans as I love writing it! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I look forward to hearing from you all :D.

We've all been changed from what we were

Our broken hearts left smashed on the floor

I can't believe you, if I can't hear you

I can't believe you, if I can't hear you

"Jesus Dean!" Kate cried as she burst through the door of the motel room, her hair and hands scattered in contrasting directions out of desperation. "Are you alright?" she asked softly, recovering her composure as she realised he was crying, alone. She dived next to him on the bed, her eyes soft and inquisitive. She reached for a lone trembling hand, wrapping the pain and lines of skin in her own.

"I started it all, everything," he breathed, releasing the heavy weight of guilt and fear into the air. He felt strangely relieved, felt a surge of release as the shame was lifted, felt as if the responsibility of millions of lives had disappeared into the glow of the bedside lamp. His mind had been driving around in circles since his conversation with Castiel, and each passing road had told him it's your fault, everything is going to end because of you. Fear twisted in his throat as tears rolled to the floor, he wished he could go back to the time of innocence, wished he could be free from the horror, free from the shame and the responsibility of saving the world. I had started it he thought, the end is coming, and I am the architect.

"Dean? What are you talking about?" Kate inquired, her tone comforting but unsure. Dean loved how she always repeated his name when she spoke, it made him feel as if she only had time for him, that he wasn't alone the in the bleak, frightening world of the present. He felt her hands slip away, her eyes read she was listening, but her lips spoke as if she was uncertain, she knew the truth she just didn't want to hear it. Lies were good at dusting over the words that would burn.

"The apocalypse, I started it Kate. The world's going to end and it's all my doing," said Dean, the fear coming alive as the words escaped. Kate simply watched in awe, unable to comprehend. However, she still wrapped her arms around his shoulders, she didn't question what was held within his eyes, he wasn't lying, and the fear was too real for fabrication. He shook within her touch, he was frightened, scared that he would lose everything that mattered, scared that everything would be torn from him when he was crowned the destroyer of worlds.

"How…? When…," Kate stuttered, unable to find the right questions that would measure the desperate situation.

"I broke the first seal Kate," Dean choked, disappointed in himself. He wished he could rewind the time, wished he could somehow return to his time in hell and fix what had been broken, himself. He regretted his choice, regretted everything. Maybe, if I had been stronger, I could have stopped the end from coming at all, he thought as he cried into his sister's arms. "It all started because of me, the end wouldn't be here if I hadn't pushed the damn dominos in the first place."

"I…Dean, you couldn't have done anything more… you were in hell," said Kate, attempting to reassure the shell of a brother that lay in her arms. She couldn't imagine what he had experienced, couldn't picture the memories that taunted him. "Look at me, you did everything you possibly could, you've saved so many lives, do not doubt yourself for a second," she continued, tilting his head to face her as she stared into his eyes convincingly. "We are grateful, we are all grateful for you, and I'm certain the countless lives you've saved are grateful too Dean."

"What about now? What about all the lives that are going to burn because of me?" Dean spat, his anger directed at himself, but dwindling in intensity after the reassurance of his sister. He looked down at his hands, the same hands that had brought the coming of the end.

"I won't let that happen. We won't let that happen," Kate enforced, her hands now gripping Dean's shoulders comfortingly. Dean's eyes softened at her words, he was beginning to be convinced. "You think I'm gonna let this world go to hell in a handbag? No, I care too much about you and Sammy and Bobby and Ca…" she continued, stopping herself short of speaking his name. "We're not giving up yet Dean, it's only just begun. It won't matter when we've stopped it, nobody's gonna even care how it begun if there's posters and parties celebrating your name," she explained, igniting a fire of motivation in both of their hearts. They had to do it, this was their destiny.

"Kate… I don't know if we…," said Dean, the doubt creeping into his mind dragging a wrecking ball of insanity at its heels.

"We can try, and if it doesn't work we'll get up and try again. We are bound to get it right one time," she continued, smiling softly at her brother. She grabbed his hands in hers, she could feel the uncertainty arriving, they were scared, frightened of failure. "We can do this Dean, you know we can, together we can stop this," she continued, tightening her grip around his fingers reassuringly.

"I know," Dean breathed shakily, his doubt casting towards his brother.

"Me, you, Sammy, Bobby even Castiel can stop this together, we're gonna go down fighting Dean," she explained, her tone brightening when she mentioned his name, she couldn't help but blush slightly at the image of him being by her side. However, she immediately dissolved the thought, Dean needs me, and I should stop being so selfish she thought, her heart longing for the guilty pleasure. Hopefully he wouldn't notice.

"Sammy?" Dean asked, his tone clouded with doubt and hesitation. He didn't like his suspicion of his brother, but he couldn't help but become lost in thoughts of Sam becoming something else, losing himself beneath a twisting monster of demons and distrust. He couldn't help but doubt his brother, he was frightened, and scared he'd lose his brother in the fight with himself.

"We can save him, it's not too late. We're blood, it's never too late," she cried, trying to convince her sceptical stomach that the words were true, that she really could rescue her brother. She nuzzled into Dean's shoulder, feeling his warm arms wrap around her as she battled with her conscience. "Dad would be so proud Dean if he could see you, he really would," she continued, her eyes clouded beneath tears and longing. She wanted to see him again, if only for a second.

"Thank you," Dean breathed. He doubted himself, doubted the words that his sister had enforced. He didn't believe that they themselves could stop the apocalypse, that his hands could bring the end to the forces of hell and heaven, he was a mere man from Kansas. He looked down at his sister, she was falling asleep. Her hair was still damp and tangled, and was creating dark patterns across his shirt that appeared to become dancing shadows. He glanced towards the window in silence, wondering where Sam was, if he was alright, if he was strong enough to be alone on this night. The guilt was still there, charging its way through his stomach and mind, tainting any scrap of faith that he had concealed, but it was weaker, had been diluted by his sister's words. The pain and fear had been lifted and he felt better, felt as if he could stand on his own. He still couldn't grasp the idea that he could stop it, but there was time, time that was dwindling as he spoke, but it was still time. He sighed softly, wondering whether there was something out there listening, someone telling him it was possible, the world wasn't over yet, the execution hadn't been signed yet. He looked down at Kate again, she was asleep. She had a rare gift, hope. He valued hope greatly, it was hard to come by these days.

X X X

Castiel watched the scene unfold from heaven, with an eagerness that frightened him. He watched as she entered the room, her hair damp and tangled, a perfect chaos. He watched as she desperately ran towards her brother, casting aside her own selfishness. Her eyes were still tainted with deep red, betraying circles from where she had been crying. Dean didn't notice. He watched as she wrapped her arms around her brother and comforted him with promises that were hard to keep, secretly wishing he was the receiver of her affection. He watched as she fell asleep leaning against her brother, her chest slowly rising and falling, her eyelids fluttering as she dreamed. He wished he was the one holding her, wished his fingers were brushing against her skin, wished he could breathe in her perfume, and wished he could simply enjoy the silence with her, alone.

"You've got to stop staring at her you know, it won't end well. Besides, you're starting to freak me out," barked a voice from behind his shoulder.

"I have no idea to what you are talking about," said Castiel, startled. He turned to face the voice, recovering an expression of composure as his once soft eyes met Elijah's. Elijah was a beacon of hope and a confidant in heaven, he had spent the longest time on Earth, and knew of the connection between angel and human, and how difficult it was to dissolve. He had become Castiel's friend over the years, and was one of the only siblings Castiel could rely on. He was also slowly becoming Castiel's mentor as he became closer to the human world, and Kate.

"I think you do, it's not hard to see that you're crushing on that girl," said Elijah, his choice of words strange for an angel, and he watched with delight as Castiel replied with a hard look, he enjoyed tormenting the youngster. He had spent a vast amount of time down on Earth, disguised, unidentifiable amongst the human race as a dark-haired accountant from New Jersey with heavy rimmed glasses.

"I think you're confusing me with someone else Elijah," said Castiel as coldly as possible. He was frightened, scared that someone had discovered his secret affection that he had locked away for so long, even concealed from himself. Elijah smirked at him, he had been found out.

"I do know what it feels like brother," Elijah continued, ignoring Castiel's protest. He could see the longing in his eyes, he had changed, and he could spot the catalyst like an oak tree in an empty field. He had spent a lot of time with Castiel, and had noticed the progressive change that was unfolding in the young angel. It was love, and he could see how the future would unfold. "To see something you want that is so close, yet so out of reach."

"You're confused Elijah," Castiel snapped, his fists balled in anger and embarrassment. "She's just a girl, just the same as everyone else down there," he continued, furious with himself for reducing her to being ordinary.

"Who Kate?" said Elijah, laughing as Castiel's expression softened and smiled. Castiel cursed himself for slipping up, he would be discovered. However, he found it hard to resist, hard to douse the fire that burned in his heart at the mention of her name. He pictured her sitting beside him, smiling softly at nothing, her eyes content with just his presence, it was a beautiful sight.

"Elijah…" Castiel stuttered, he had let his façade crack, and he was going to pay the price. Plus, Elijah had a habit of taunting him, he was older and wiser by thousands of years, but still a child at heart.

"Listen man, I don't care if you do. However, there are some cruel bastards up here who do," Elijah continued, his tone softening and becoming enforcing.

"I…"

"I've been in love myself, with a human girl. She was beautiful, intelligent, everything, just like your piece down there," Elijah continued, his brow furrowed and his eyes distant as he remembered the torture of his past. "I spent as much time as I could with her, I couldn't help myself, she made everything feel so much…better, and she didn't even know. She loved me too, me Castiel, not this costume of self- righteous shit we have to don."

"What happened to her?" asked Castiel cautiously, Elijah seemed to care about this girl deeply, and he didn't want to open old wounds. He also thought of life without Kate, which he quickly deemed as unbearable. His question had a double meaning, he wanted to know what would happen to Kate if there was the possibility of a relationship.

"Zachariah, need I say more? He found out about her from another angel and tracked her down. I was too late, by the time I found her there was nothing left," Elijah choked, his voice twisted with sorrow but his eyes tense with anger. Castiel could do nothing more than listen, the thought of Kate being torn apart by his brothers was too much. The image of her broken, bleeding body entered his mind, causing him to close his eyes out of pain.

"The angel?" asked Castiel, eager to know if the brother he thought very fondly of got his revenge.

"Dead, by my hand. He took my life when he took her from me, so I thought it was a deserving punishment," said Elijah coldly, his expression tense. Castiel was taken aback, Elijah could joke and act carelessly, but he could be terrifying when provoked. Elijah stared at Castiel, his eyes seemed conflicted and absent, he had scared him. "All I'm getting at is be less obvious Castiel, the other angels will start to find out about your fancy piece, and some you can't trust."

"Can I trust you?" Castiel inquired, scared he would lose one of his only companions. He had always liked Elijah, and enjoyed his company, besides, he was one of his only siblings to understand the connection with the human world. He desperately wished for a positive answer, he needed his help.

"Yes, always brother," said Elijah softly and reassuringly. Castiel smiled warmly at Elijah, a trait learned from Kate that was becoming increasingly uncontrollable as time passed. Elijah nodded slightly, his superiors were calling, Castiel understood. "And before I go, keep your cravings to yourself, you're starting to creep me out," he continued mockingly as he disappeared. Castiel simply glared angrily at the space where Elijah had been, his skin flushed. He turned towards Earth, she was still sleeping, lost in the comfort of silence. He couldn't help but watch, she was beautiful, content and perfect, if only it could last.

X X X

Sam burst through the door of the motel, waving a slip of paper lightly in his hand. Sunlight streamed through the window, filling the room with warmth and a glaring light that woke the sleeping Kate. Dean shot up next to her, Sam robustness had woke him up from a sleep that was rare, one that wasn't clouded and taunted by memories of hell.

"What the hell Sam?" asked Kate groggily, squinting at her brother. She gestured towards the door, which Sam closed instantly, she wasn't a morning person.

"I got us a job," Sam replied, pleased with himself, believing that work was the only reasonable option of distracting them all from tense conversations or awkward silence. Dean glared at his brother, he envied his eagerness in the morning hours.

"What? Where?" said Kate, deciding to take charge of the conversation as he brother lay comatose on the bed. She lifted herself from the bed and walked over to her brother, reaching for the paper, he was nearly a foot taller than her. "A comic book store?"

"Haunting," said Sam confidently, his sister always did like ghosts. Compared to the assortment of demons and angels that seemed to be crossing their paths recently, ghosts seemed easy, they didn't have baggage.

"Dean?" asked Kate, searching for her brother's opinion.

"Whatever," he breathed, his eyes tired and limbs heavy.

"Start the car Sammy, you might be on to something," said Kate, watching as he brother eagerly bounded towards the Impala, he was proud of himself, and grateful that he didn't have to spend hours passed slowly at the motel or a dingy bar. Kate turned to face her brother who still lay on the bed with no intention of getting up. She sighed heavily, it was going to be a long drive.