As this is an AU, only some of the events in season 4 have been included obviously as Dean didn't get sent to Hell. The brother's relationship is still really strong and is not disintegrating as it is on the show. Ruby does not appear in this story at all and Sam has learnt to control his powers for the good and is not 'yet' pulling demons from people.

John looked at Dean with tears in his eyes and I could feel the pain in his heart as he realised how much his son had had to deal with and how much he had really laid on his shoulders.


John looked up at his son and said "I'm sorry, I realise now how much pain that must have caused you and the damage it did to your relationship with Sam. At the time I thought that I was telling you to do the right thing for the world. Yes, there was always the expectation in the back of my mind that you would protect Sam above everything else. However, I never expected you to sell your soul to bring him back. That is all on me and the example I set for you, selling my soul for you at the hospital.

John looked at Sam expecting him to blow up at him, which he hadn't done yet. I could sense that there was the expectation that things would start to fly at his head. Sam shrugged his shoulders at his father and said "I don't know what you expect me to say to you! You told Dean to kill me if he couldn't save me. You've say that you understand how that made him feel and that you understand how that must have made me feel as well. I'm not sure that you really do understand. From the time that I started having the visions I felt alone, even after we found the kids with special powers and more so when Max, Anseem, Eva, and Jake started attacking others. I thought that was what was in my future. To then find out I wasn't the only one in the family with these powers? That it wasn't automatically a one way trip to hell. Do you know how it felt to know that we had family that you had kept away from us? Do you know how it felt to that you blamed Toni for Mum's death and for my demon problems? Do you know how it felt when Dean and I realised that we had an Aunt and Grandparents who could have helped us / prepared us for what was to come and you had always told us we did have any family? Do you know what it felt like to think that you blamed me for Mum's death? I lived with that guilt for most of my life, and then to actually find out that you had told Dean to kill me? Did you know that that Yellow Eyed son of bitch showed me that night that I got to see him stand over my crib and drip blood into my mouth? We finally connect with family and I understand that the powers that I have are not evil and are far from it and now you're back to warn us. Take a moment and think about how really feel and how I've always felt in this family?"

As Sam was still sitting next to me, I reached over and placed my hand on his knee hoping to calm him down. He looked at me as he did since the run in with Lilith, with love and concern in his eyes. "I'm ok, Toni really. I'm not going to let this get to me. He can't hurt me anymore. After River Grove, I gave up on John ever being proud of me or understanding me. What I can understand is how he could expect one son to kill the other. It's all a little too Cain and Abel for me. If I was such a threat, why didn't he kill me himself, after all I didn't leave for college until I was 18 and then we met up again in Chicago and Salvation he had ample opportunities. If he didn't want to put a bullet in me, he could have laced one of my drinks with something. To ask Dean to do that is too much."

Dean walked up to his brother put a hand on his shoulder and said "I told you on more than one occasion that I was always going to save you. I appreciate that you feel the weight of that but it's not yours to carry"

I looked between my nephews, who were growing in self-assurance as I sat there and said "This is not a burden that either of you should be carrying, you both need to let it go. As long as you are carrying it around it's going to be between you and any future relationships that you may have or want. Will taught me that. I needed to let go of the guilt that I felt about Mary's death and your disappearance before I was ready to move on with my life."

John looked at me and said "Beanpole, when did you get so smart?" I got up from my chair walked up to him, clipped him around the back of the head and said "Around the same time that you got stupid. Now talk to your son."

John turned to Sam and said "I'm sorry that I ever made you feel that it was your fault that your mother died. Since I passed on, I've found out a lot that I didn't know before. It's not your fault and never was your fault that Mary died, Mary made a deal with Azazel when she was 19, she thought that she was making the deal for herself that he would come back for her in ten years, It wasn't until she went into your nursery that night that she realised what she had agreed to, and by then it was too late. If she had known what the deal was she would have done more to protect you and your brother."

Dean and Sam looked at John with confusion in their eyes; Dean said "What do you mean she would have done more to protect us? How could she have protected us? She didn't know anything about demons' and the things that go bump in the night?"

John took in a depth breath and said "Toni, I understand that you have been researching the family trees and that you have been sharing this knowledge with the boys. That you found out that Mary came from a family of hunters, that Pastor Jim was Mary's brother. What the tree doesn't tell you is that Mary spent some time as a hunter as well when she was younger. Her father very much like yours broke the mould, and did what other Campbell's hadn't done before - train his daughter in the ways of a hunter. Mary learnt about demons and devils traps, laying down salt trails and exorcism rituals. In April and May 1973 there was a spate of deaths around Lawrence, Mary and her father interviewed some of the families and discovered that they were after Azazel. When a friend of Mary's was attacked in her home, she and her father went to try and stop it. They managed to stop him from making a deal with her however it put your mother's into Azazel sight lines. Later that night, Mary slipped out to meet me; we were running away together as she was tired of the life and wanted a 'normal' life. Whilst Mary was out of the house, Azazel attacked her house and killed both of her parents, possessing her father in the process. On the way out of town we stopped by the railway tracks to talk and the next thing I know I was being pulled out of the car by her father who hit me and I then felt an extreme pain in my shoulders and I passed out. When I came to I was laid out in the back of the Impala and Mary was driving us out of state. We got married several days later and moved into the house in Kansas were we lived until that fateful day in November 1973. When I met up with Mary recently she told me all that the deal that she made was to save my life, after her father pulled us out of the car he snapped my neck. That when she made the deal she thought that he would be back for her soul in ten years, not for her child."

I looked from Sam to Dean and then to John and they all had tears in their eyes, realising what that Yellow Eyed son of a bitch had done to their family. How the ball had been set rolling and that one way or another no-one could have prevented what came down on the family.

John continued "So you can see Sam none of this is your fault, it was never your fault. That you are so much like your mother, she wanted out of the life wanting a normal life. That when you wanted to go away all I could think of was I would be able to protect you, I didn't realise that this was what you really wanted or that you were inclined to want that way anyway. I know everything you went through after my death, that you felt guilty for always butting heads with me but I want you to know that there was nothing to feel guilty about. We challenged each other but I was always proud of you, I've always been proud of both of you."

Sam walked up to his father, gave him a hug and said "I'm sorry that we always butted heads that you felt that the life you gave me was never good enough. I'm glad that we have reached an understanding and that you are at piece and finally back with Mom. Dean and I are in the process of making great lives for ourselves. We are both in school, and with Toni's help I have control of my powers and can use them to help others. We are putting the family business to good use Dean is working with Jeff Morgan, I don't know if you remember him, they've sent up a department that deals with the research and development of weapons and tools for hunters. Dean and I both have pilot licences and we can travel anywhere across the company in a couple of hours which has opened up the hunt opportunities. Bobby has set up a great library for hunters, on the land that we own we've built a medical and resource centre for hunters. So you can see that we've taken all the lessons that you gave us and put them to great use, I'm proud to be able to call myself Winchester. Will and Toni have been amazing and it terrified us all when we thought that we were going to lose her, but it's great to know that you were there with her. I don't want to push here but you said that you were here for two reasons, one was to talk about the past and to 'chat' and another was to warn us. What do you need to warn us about?"

John said "Can we grab another round of drinks and then I'll tell you."


Well – choices – does John warn them about the possible apocalypse or is there something closer to home?

Feedback is gratefully received, is there anywhere that this story can be improved.