Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I am just borrowing the characters for some fun.
Warning: This story will contain swearing, scenes of torture and sexual innuendo. Eventual Slash.
Summary: Nothing is going to plan. The order is three days late to pick him up and Lucius Malfoy has somehow managed to get out of Azkaban. Remus always wants to talk, but Harry can't bring himself to even think of what happened in June. It was time to face facts: Harry's life belongs to the cause and his own feelings don't matter. Begins after Order of the Phoenix. Eventual Slash.
Chapter 29: Recovery
"Don't move, Mr. Potter."
Harry barely held back his groan. His whole body hurt like hell. His head in particular felt like Uncle Vernon had brought home one of Grunnings drills and put it to his temple. His nerves were on fire, and even the weight of the thin sheet felt like too much. He scrunched his eyes together against the harsh light.
"Open up; this will help with the pain."
Harry obediently opened his mouth. Even if Voldemort himself was feeding him the potion, it could hardly get worse. Luckily, as soon as the goopy liquid hit his stomach the pain started to abate. His gut rolled at the taste and he gagged.
"Now this one, Mr. Potter; for the nausea."
Another potion was shoved down his throat, and just as promised he immediately began to feel better. Harry sighed in relief and final opened his eyes. He was back in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was inspecting him with a fierce glare.
"You've more potions to take. I've not even begun with you."
Harry nodded and looked down at his lap. His hands were shaking. He looked at them with a curious sense of disconnection. He couldn't feel the pain anymore, but he couldn't seem to get his hands to stop shaking.
Madam Pomfrey was holding out two more vials. Harry reached forward to take them with jerky hands, and she moved them out of his reach.
"I think it's best that I give you these. We don't want you spilling them."
Harry watched his hand shiver, finally he nodded at the nurse and allowed her to pour the potions down his throat.
"This first one will help your nerves recover, and this one will help with the headache you surely have." When she was done she stood back and gave him an evaluating stare. "Can you speak, Mr. Potter?"
Harry began to nod, and then corrected himself. "T-t-t-thanks, T-t-t-that feels much b-b-b-better."
He was stuttering. It was difficult to make his mouth form the words.
"Very good. That's very well done." Madam Pomfrey was waving her wand about and muttering to herself. She shined a light into his eyes and cast a few more spells, before finally nodding. "You're doing quite well considering the circumstances. You should make a full recovery, but don't expect it to happen in a hurry. You'll be keeping me company for a while yet."
She was giving him a tight smile. Harry's mind struggled to comprehend what she was saying. The last thing he remembered was crawling towards Dumbledore. And the pain. So much pain.
"D-D-D-Dumbledore?"
"He's doing well. I sent him back to his quarters to rest. Some blood replenisher and a spell or two had him back to himself in no time." The matron adjusted the sheets around his body. "I'll cast a warming spell on you. I know that blankets can be troublesome with nerve damage like this. Just call if it begins to fade."
The warmth was comforting and sudden.
"T-T-T-Thank y-y-you."
"Professor Snape is here and he wished to talk to you. Do you feel up to it?" She said. "Just say the word and I'll send him back to the dungeons until tomorrow."
Harry tried to smile, but his lips felt shaky too. It probably looked more like a grimace. He nodded.
She gave him a final searching look. "Well you call me if you want him to leave."
Harry nodded. Madam Pomfrey opened his privacy curtain and moved out of his view. It was several minutes before Snape emerged, looking more grim than normal.
Harry tried desperately not to think, not to wonder what it all meant. Not to reflect on what Voldemort had done. Not to wonder on what he had done. Not to think about his shaking hands or long stays in the hospital wing.
"Harry." Snape said his name like a prayer and curse at the same time. Harry felt so weak that he didn't even bother commenting on Snape's use of his first name.
The potions master was staring at his twitchy hands. It took Harry a moment, but he was finally able to move his hands under the blanket, out of sight.
"Madam Pomfrey tells me that you will make a full recovery. She has ordered me to make my visit quick and had requested that you not try to talk too much."
Harry gave another jerky nod.
"You gave us all a scare." Did Snape seem unsure? "Professor Dumbledore is doing well. He is resting in his rooms. We thought it best that he remains apart from you for a while, as this was probably a ploy to get to him."
Harry looked away and blinked back tears. He would not cry in front of Snape.
"You did very well, Harry."
That made him lift his head. A compliment from Snape?
The potions master looked calm and intense. "It would have been difficult for even an accomplished occlumens to eject the Dark Lord. I am...impressed that you were able to manage it."
Harry could not prevent the tear and the sniffle. He tried to lift his hand to wipe the tears away, but his body did not cooperate and it took several tries. "I-I-I hurt D-D-Dumbledore."
Snape shook his head. "The Dark Lord surely wants you to feel that way. Do not give him the satisfaction."
"W-W-W-Will it h-h-happen a-a-again?"
"We will make sure it does not." Said Snape. "We will up your occlumency training. He cannot get to you now, he is definitely weakened from his efforts."
Harry sighed. Snape had been careful to not say that it was impossible. So this could happen again. He didn't think he could stand it happening again. What if next time he was with Ron and Hermione?
Harry used all his strength to roll over, putting his back to Snape. He did not want to talk anymore.
Snape seemed to recognize the dismissal. "Get some rest, Potter. I recommend you meditate and put up your occlumency shield before bed. I will contact Lupin with an update on your condition."
Harry didn't turn around and after a few moments he heard the snap of Snape's robes as he turned and left. Harry sucked in a breath and tried not to cry, but he just couldn't stop the tears from falling.
The next few days seemed to last forever. Harry tried his best not to speak and spent most of his time listening to Madam Pomfrey muttering about things. He had requested that she not let Ron, Hermione or anyone else visit him; and so far she had been successful. He couldn't bare to be seen like this. His hands still shook and he still stuttered, although the matron assured him that it was getting better. It was not fast enough for his taste.
On Thursday he has tried to do some of the reading that Hermione had brought for him, but the act of turning the pages and taking notes had been too tricky. Harry felt more useless and dangerous than ever. He could not stop the little voice in the back of his head from whispering that he should be taken away and locked up somewhere far away; where he won't be a danger to good people if he was possessed again.
"Alright, Mr. Potter, that is enough. You will be helping me today."
Harry didn't move. Refused to move. There was nothing he could possibly help Madam Pomfrey with. His hands were still shaking, even if the stuttering was basically gone.
"Sit up." She commanded. "It is Friday, so you have had two full days to have your pity party. I'll not let you fall into an even worse depression."
Harry turned a bit at that. He wasn't depressed, he was being sensible. One look at Madam Pomfrey's steely glare told him that she was not going to be convinced, so be began to sit up.
"Very good. I have some Murtlap essence that needs to be pickled." She pulled out a bucket that was filled to the brim with tentacles and Harry almost gagged. Then, with a flick of her wand, a table with empty jars floated over to sit by Harry's bed.
"I don't think I can do t-this." Said Harry, wrinkling his nose at the smell.
"Nonsense," She pointed her wand behind her and music filled the room. "We have plenty to do. The tentacles need to be skinned before they are pickled. I have charmed your knife so it can't hurt you. Put the skin in the other bucket and the tentacle in the empty jars."
She pulled over a chair, picked up a tentacle, and got to work. Harry felt her eyes on him until he gave in and moved towards the bucket. The tentacles were slimy and green; not his idea of a fun Friday afternoon.
"Do you know what Murtlap essence is used for Mr. Potter?"
Harry threw a skin into the bucket. "Pickled M-Murtlap essence c-can help with small wounds."
He thought of all the times that he had used Murtlap essence last year to help ease the pain in his hand after one of Umbridge's detentions.
"Indeed it can. Its terribly useful for any small abrasion to the skin. We go through quite a bit of it and I am almost out. You will be helping quite a few people with your work this afternoon, not to mention taking a good chunk of work off my hands."
They worked in silence for a while. The music rang through the room. It was the same radio station that Mrs. Weasley liked to listen to. Although the smell was gross, Harry quickly found himself enjoying the atmosphere. It was nice to do something productive; Something that would help people! The sun was shining in and the songs were upbeat. Madam Pomfrey hummed along and smiled as she worked. Harry struggled to pull the skin loose with his shivering hands, but with a bit of effort he was able to do it. That felt good too, it was nice to have his body respond to his commands after two days of nothing but insubordination.
"Well done, Mr. Potter. You've taken to this quite well."
Harry could not help his smile.
"I think we do need to talk about something, though." She said, and Harry stilled. "I must ask that you reconsider letting your friends visit."
"No." Said Harry. He did not even need to think about it.
"Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley are very concerned. They have tried to visit every day. Mr. Lupin has been even more forceful in his attempts. I can only hold them off so much longer."
Harry turned to put some tentacles in the jars. "Please no. I don't want to see them yet."
She pressed her lips in a tight line. "I am a healer Mr. Potter, and my job does not stop at your body. I cannot help but be concerned with your mood the past few days."
"I'm fine."
"You are not fine. At least give me the courtesy of not lying." She gave him a look.
He could not look at her. "Okay, so I-I'm not fine."
"Of course you're not. Possession is illegal for a reason. Older wizards then you have been shaken by its effects. I am concerned, Mr. Potter. You need your loved ones to help you. Soon I will let them in regardless of what you have asked for."
"But-" Said Harry, "You c-can't! Please. Just-just give me another day to think. Sunday they can c-come."
"Sunday? Very well." She looked far too smug. "Oh I do love this song."
And then to Harry's utter surprise Madam Pomfrey began belting out one of the Celestina Warbeck songs.
"Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love! Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love! Come on, Mr. Potter!"
Of all the weird and magnificent moments Harry had had at Hogwarts this had to be one of the weirdest. The healer held out a tentacle toward Harry like a microphone and he could not help but laugh, before finally giving in and singing along.
Once they finished skinning the tentacles, Madam Pomfrey had him help fill the jars with the pickling liquid. They sang, laughed and gossiped through the rest of the afternoon. After some cajoling Harry even got Madam Pomfrey to tell him some stories about when his father and mother were at Hogwarts. Unsurprisingly, James had ended up in the hospital wing a fair bit, but his mother had been a far less frequent visitor. Although there was one rather hilarious story about a Tarantallegra jinx that ran amok and made most of his parents year show up the hospital wing doing an uncontrollable disco dance. Harry wouldn't be surprised if Sirius had done that one.
Later, as he dozed off for a before dinner nap, Harry could not deny that he was feeling a little more upbeat. Despite his best efforts it was impossible to be sad when Madam Pomfrey was joking about his parents and bursting into song. That, Harry reflected, had probably been her goal all along.
"Time to get up! Your food is getting cold!"
Harry rolled over and could not prevent the frustrated groan from leaving his mouth. What the hell was Draco Fucking Malfoy doing by his bed side?
"What are you doing here, Malfoy? I specifically asked Madam Pomfrey for no visitors."
Malfoy pushed the table towards Harry and took the cover off his dinner.
"Now, now, I thought we were going by first names these days?" Draco smiled.
It was maddening. Harry had to admit to himself (if only in his head) that Draco looked good. He is was in a more casual grey shirt and black pants. One piece of his perfect blond hair had come loose and was framing his face. He had been unable to stop staring at the Slytherin since he told Harry he was gay, and it was painfully obvious that the blond was attractive. Harry felt particularly disheveled with his hospital wing pajamas and uncombed hair.
"Habit." muttered Harry.
Draco seemed unaware of his self consciousness. "Refusing visitors? It's a good thing I didn't ask permission, but, that does explain somethings. Weasley and Granger accosted me this afternoon sure that I did something to land you in here."
Harry winced and looked away. Of course Ron and Hermione would assume that Draco did something to him. Traditionally, Draco was often the cause of him landing in the hospital wing. His two friends had been reluctant to see that things were different now, even after the werewolf attack. "Is that why you h-here then? To assure them of y-your innocence?"
"I wasn't kidding about your dinner getting cold. Those warming charms only last so long before the food starts to taste funny." Said Draco.
Harry shrugged and reached to take a sip of water. To his utter humiliation the shaking in his hand caused half of it to end up on his lap. He had forgotten that his potions wore off in the evenings.
Draco seemed not to notice of Harry's red cheeks. He simply flicked his wand and the water that had fell down his front dried.
"So," Said Draco, after a moment of contemplation "Who put you under Cruciatus?"
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Have a lot of experience with the Cruciatus curse, Draco?"
"Enough." Draco gave him an assessing look. "Aunt Bella tried to teach me last year. She liked to punish me every time I wasn't successful. I wasn't very good at it. According to her I was even worse than your attempt at the ministry; Thanks for that by the way."
"Sorry." Muttered Harry. He wasn't sure what he was apologizing for. The fact that Draco had been subjected to the cruciatus curse by his aunt or the fact that he had been better at it.
Draco shrugged. "It's fine. Mom was pissed when she found out. It took a few days for the stuttering and shaking to completely stop, even with Severus's potions."
He looked pointedly at Harry's shivering hands.
Harry hid them under the sheet.
"If you must k-know, this is not from the cruciatus curse." Said Harry
"I don't care about your shaking hands." Said Draco with a sigh, "Just eat already."
Harry reached forward and grabbed the grilled cheese sandwich. Luckily it did not require the dexterity of cutlery and it would not fall apart easily.
"So, not cruciatus. What then?"
Harry chewed slowly and debated whether or not to answer truthfully. On the one hand, at least he didn't have to worry about Draco hating him. Sure they got along well enough now, but his rejection would hurt a lot less than that of Ron and Hermione. Surely one of them would realise that it was dangerous to be around him. On the other hand, this was Draco fucking Malfoy; who had perfect hair, perfect eyes, a loving family and near perfect grades. Could he really be expected to understand any of the train wreck that was Harry Potter? But then Harry thought about what Draco had just shared. His aunt had put him under the cruciatus curse. His parents had been tortured. His friends no longer spoke to him.
"Possession."
Draco sucked in a breath. "The Dark Lord?"
"Who else?"
Draco nodded. "What happened?"
Now that he had come clean is was like the words were competing to get out of his mouth. Aside from his initial gasp, Draco's face had been refreshingly neutral. "I was taking defense classes with D-Dumbledore and he came through. I-I h-hurt Dumbledore. Slashing hex."
Draco was holding up his hand for Harry to stop. His perfect grey eyes had turned cloudy. "You did? Or The Dark Lord did? Was this after your possession?"
Harry blinked. What did it matter? It had been his body, he should have stopped it sooner. "After."
"Then, The Dark Lord did this, not you." Draco's face looked determined.
"You really should s-stop calling him that now that y-you're on our side." Said Harry
Draco looked away. "Habit. What happened next?"
"He t-tried to kill Dumbledore. I couldn't let h-him, so I pushed him out." Said Harry.
"You pushed him out?" Draco looked sceptical.
"Yeah. Couldn't let him kill D-Dumbledore."
Draco let out a long whistle and gave a disbelieving shake of his head. "Wow."
At Harry's confused look his continued.
"Do you have any idea how hard that is? It's near impossible! I've seen The Dar- You-Know-Who possess people. They don't just push him out. First he makes them do all kinds of...things. Then, he leaves them in a mess of insanity and pain. Usually they die not long after that."
Harry started.
"Do you have any idea how powerful you must be to have pushed him out?" Said Draco.
"I-I almost killed the headmaster." Harry whispered.
Draco shook his head. "It sounds like you saved his life. I don't know anyone else who could push him out. That must have hurt like hell. Worse than the cruciatus."
Draco looked impressed. Harry looked down at his hands. How could Draco be impressed with the fact that he had almost killed someone?
"I-I'm dangerous. I-It could happen again."
He didn't dare to look up.
"Don't be stupid, Potter. Dumbledore was well enough to lead the school song last night. It sounds like you stopped it. That's the opposite of dangerous in my books. That's bloody powerful."
Harry looked up. Draco was looked at him intently. That damn piece of blond hair was falling across his forehead in the perfect way.
"Now, now, I thought we were going by f-first names these d-days?" Harry cracked a tentative smile.
Draco laughed. "Only when your not saying stupid things."
"So all the time t-then?" Said Harry
"Well...now that I think on it...basically never."
Draco abruptly reached out and touched Harry's hand. A shiver went up his arm. Harry had experienced very few comforting touches in his life. He could probably count them all on one hand. But Draco's hand was gripping his in an unmistakably comforting way. It stilled his shaking.
"I know what you did for my parents, Harry. How you took over his body to get them out. And now you pushed him out. Whatever he did when he was in your body, it wasn't you. You pushed him out once and you can do it again if you need to."
Harry gulped. "T-Thanks."
He didn't dare look up from the embrace of their fingers. Draco gave him one final squeeze before letting him go.
"I best leave before Madam Pomfrey catches me." Said Draco
The Slytherin stood quickly and began to saunter away. God, even his walk was perfect. It have Harry the perfect view of his perfect-
"Let Weasley and Granger visit you for Merlin's sakes!" Shouted Draco over his shoulder before the hospital wing door swung shut.
A/N: What do you this of Pomfrey? I had entirely too much fun writing that scene. And yes, the Drarry is starting in earnest. It only took me 29 chapters ;) Thanks for reading and please review!
