Chapter 29
Thanks for joining us for C29. Let's get right to it!
###
The Elder of Elders of Trient'Ir was worried. And frustrated. And angry. The possibility of an Eilu infiltrator at the highest level of their organization was frightening. Yet as dire as the prospect was, Phai had not acted in haste once safely away from Ekkamm. Instead, she and Uulophar investigated as best they could from afar. There wasn't much to go on, but what clues existed continued to point toward Ary, or someone very close to him.
For the umpteenth time, Phai reviewed what she had put into motion after the near disaster on Ekkamm, praying to Ozshi'wanae she hadn't overlooked a critical possibility. Pulling shoulders up to ears and then slowly releasing with an exhale, she was tight after working for hours in Uulophar's version of a captain's ready room. Perhaps walking the halls would ease some of the tension. Uulophar was not a large ship by any standard, but had ample room for her purposes.
As doorway dilated silently open and then closed as she exited, Phai temporarily diverted thoughts from troubles to the wonder that was Uulophar. The self-aware AI that was ship, companion, weapon, and tool was the pinnacle of Shozen via Etagllot shipbuilding and bio-mech engineering technologies. Yet as impressive as Uulophar and her kind were, they paled against the marvel that was the Eshaar'ne. U'larr engineers accomplished organically capabilities that even Shozen technology struggled to match mechanically.
'Speaking of organic accomplishments…'
/ Uulophar, where are the clones? /
/ In the galley. Eating. Again. Their appetites are impressive. /
Phai took pleasure in the simple act of laughing. She rarely had cause to. / Indeed! /
She considered the pair for a moment, recalling when they became soulbound. 'Children' having sex…so awkward and uncertain, but wanting to please their 'parents.' Soulbinding wasn't a guarantee, but the laws of Aru and Ura indicated they should be compatible as they were clones from the same base donor, albeit manipulated clones to create two genders. Their lifeforce and lifewill energies were identical, thus harmonious – the prerequisite for soulbinding.
/ Your people have done well in creating them. Against all odds, they are alive and fully functional. /
/ For some time, I did not believe we would be successful. /
It was truth. That the clones existed at all was nothing short of miraculous. Esha'Aru were designed to be unclonable in a likely failsafe measure to prevent the enemy from doing exacting what the Shozen had done – replicate one of the Nexus entrance keys. N'Adiaera and N'Ollein's existence was another pinnacle of achievement in an effort commissioned by the previous Elders of Elders out of fear that all naturally occurring Esha'Aru may be extinct by the time the Dark Coming revisited.
Refocusing on her infiltrator problem, Phai allowed herself to be pleased with her actions in the wake of Ekkamm. A guise of ignorance provided a window of opportunity for careful planning before tipping her hand. Once she enacted countermeasures, the enemy would know she knew.
Phai nodded unconsciously at her decision to confide in only one other Elder – Taer. Trusting someone was necessitated by varied security protocols requiring two Elders to execute changes. Together with their sentient ships, she and Taer tapped into the comnet systems of the largest interstellar realms of Trient'Ir – Turzent, Commonwealth, Trisadient, Parma-Sentois, and Gnocque. Once within the secure communication networks, they augmented the incredibly complex and undetectable Shozen worm programs with new security measures known only to Phai, Taer, Uulophar, and Taer's companion ship, Hetruas. The new code was as unbreakable as their combined skills could make it. If anyone attempted to breach those comm systems, it would take an intense, highly sophisticated effort that Uulophar and Hetruas' surveillance vigil would detect.
Graceful strides that swirled her flowing long dress took Phai quickly to a corridor junction. To the right was the operational heart of Uulophar. Opting for the left hand route, she headed toward the crew's quarters section of the vessel.
Next, the foursome had tackled the Shozen's own comnet system. When relocations and modifications were complete, only they could access the complex and clandestine communication system that their organization had spent more than two thousand years implementing. Again, constant monitoring by the two ships would detect intrusion attempts.
Without the vast telepathic network of their ancestors, the Shozen had built a substitute. It was the backup to the various realms' own subspace networks. The enemy was quite capable of destroying the young races' comnet satellites and relay stations – child's play, actually. Should the Eilu destroy or take control of those systems – and the Council had to assume they would – it would be through the Shozen's clandestine network that the masses would be rallied.
But if the traitor among them was able to sabotage or destroy the Shozen comm network, a galaxy would be lost. At the thought, ire flared in the otherwise stoic woman as she strode down the longest corridor within Uulophar. Stopping for a moment at the gathering room doorway, she looked across to the large windows framing the stars. Perhaps gazing out at all she was hoping to save would soothe. She slipped in.
Utilizing that vast comm system, she had next informed the Elders of Elders, Ovir of Trient'El, and Eal of Trient'Ut, of what she potentially faced. Shock was apparent, but her counterparts quickly recovered and vowed to ensure their own organizations were as secure as was possible, but neither had encountered incidents as troubling as Phai's.
Fourth was the positioning of Etagllot security agents in all six realms to watch over key players and operatives, but only after ordering careful scrutiny to ensure those agents were not Eilu plants. Naturally, no operative or agent could be truly trusted if someone on the Council had been compromised or replaced, but the moves had to be done regardless.
Her final act was to inform the Council that she believed a second tier Shozen leader was an Eilu agent and of the security measures she had enacted unilaterally. Not to inform them would have done more damage in the end. For the time being, she would allow everyone to wonder if she truly believed it was someone within the second hierarchal level or if she actually suspected an Elder.
'Let them speculate, including our enemy.' She sat down on the window seat and watched a few of the nearest stars move ever so slowly as Uulophar raced at thousands of times the speed of light toward Atmos Prime.
/ How indescribably tragic it will be if those stars are extinguished and only darkness remains. /
/ We will succeed, Phai. Have faith. /
/ Sometimes, faith isn't enough, Uulophar. Sometimes, some things aren't meant to be. /
/ Look upon what your people have accomplished – rising out of civilization's total collapse to where we are today. Overcoming crippling subterfuge on more than one occasion. Rediscovering and reapplying knowledge in a few thousand years that often took your ancestors far longer to develop. That does not appear to be something that isn't meant to be. /
The Elder upturned a corner of her mouth. / You are a romantic. /
/ I am making a logical observation. The U'larr would be proud of their descendants. Implementing a plan from conception to fruition through thousands of difficult years amazes even me. / A bit of mirth accompanied the end of the AI's thought.
/ I am proud of all that our people have achieved, but I won't delude myself that it can't be undone by a single, mortal blow by the enemy. If even just one key isn't functional… / Phai needn't finish the thought.
As was the master plan from the beginning, the final battle was a three-point defense: the Masses, the Unifiers, and the Nexus trios. Should any one of those be thwarted, defeat was certain.
The Masses – young races long ago seeded across the Awn'Va galaxy by the U'larr. The resulting species either generally resembled their creators or reflected the U'larr's quest for diversity and thirst for creative outlet. As varied as the races were in appearance, each was endowed with one common element – Ura…soul energy…the essence of sentiency and the most powerful force in all creation.
The Unifiers – fulcrums in a galactic-wide offering of Ura. Over the centuries, leaders were hand selected and nurtured by the Shozen to pull star system after star system into ever-larger empires. Far easier to rally the masses when large segments of the most populous regions of the galaxy looked to a single authority. Those destined to be rulers during the Dark Coming were critical choices. Phai couldn't help a smile. As it became clear to her that the final battle was not far off, Ztar was her handpicked Unifier. It had been a wise choice. The Turzent people would listen to him and obey. Sadly, time had run out to merge the Commonwealth and Turzent realms. Her heart clenched most at what will be demanded of Ztar in the end – anger flared at that, but there was nothing to be done about his fate. She moved contemplation past regret.
The Nexus Trios – three unique individuals in each Trient that would command the triad of Nexus machines. U'larr builders had created a strict set of criteria that must be met by anyone seeking Nexus entrance or they would be destroyed as invaders…an U'larr petitioning of freewill and an Esha'Aru soulbound pair also presenting themselves in freewill and of clear conscious.
Phai rose, unable to remain settled that day. The burden on her slender shoulders was so immense, and she was bone-weary from the weight. And now the enemy may be in their midst. The Shozen destined to lead their Trient in the final days allowed a slight groan to escape.
'Ozshi'wanae, I pray that I won't fail you.'
Leaving the gathering room, she headed for Uulophar's bridge. No more time for rumination; too many last minute tasks to be completed or verified as so. The great war for the right to exist was coming to climax once again…a war that had raged far longer and between beings more powerful than even Phai could truly grasp.
Ironically in the end, the great manipulators calling themselves Shozen themselves were mere pawns of omnipotent beings. But she was a pawn commanding one-third of the defensive forces of the Awn'Va Galaxy. In the final days of the current skirmish, her entire purpose was to ensure three goals were reached…protect the communication systems that would rally the masses, guarantee the Call for Ura was dispatched and heard by those masses, and ensure their Trient's Nexus trio made it alive to Etxan'Ir. Nothing and no one else mattered.
###
He knew not when the final signal would come, only that it would. It would be his death toll. Time was quickly approaching. The Turzent fleet would reach Atmos Prime soon. Ztar prayed for the courage to do what he must.
Since learning his fate, he'd raged against the injustice. Condemned the gods that saw fit to steal away a life he had only just begun to truly live…even of the chance to look upon the face of his child. Then wisdom stepped in and said not to waste what time he had on pointless anger. Instead, he chose to live life, hold each moment precious; and seek to leave the universe a better place for his presence.
And so the Emperor did. And kept what he knew to himself.
After abandoning anger, he struggled hour by hour, day after day to spare the burden of knowing from those he held most dear – Jharda, Sukja, Gtar-Cro, and Archangel.
His General friend was easiest – the man wasn't nearby and anything he picked up on over the comm was likely attributed to pre-wedding and pending fatherhood anxieties. Ztar played the same hand with Sukja, elaborating that parenthood and all its responsibilities were foreign territory and a tad unnerving as his own brutish father and detached mother were not role models.
Jharda was the challenge. She knew something was amiss and prodded him on what that could be. His urgings to move up the wedding date had only added fuel to the fire, so he'd dropped it. There were other ways to ensure she succeeded him to the throne, and after her, their child. He placed that task into Stjarmas'de's capable hands, the Empire's highest legal voice.
As time moved on, though, she allowed him to convince her it was imperial pressures, wedding jitters, and concerns over being the parent their monarch-in-the-making would need. And she readily accepted his doting ways when she was at the palace. The little surprise gifts and get-away days and tender ministrations. Hours spent talking or simply sitting quietly together in their pavilion retreat were treasures without price.
In retrospect, Ztar realized that the weeks since Phai's visit had been the best days of his life. Love had deepened beyond what he dreamt possible.
But time was running out.
Jharda was on what was likely her last interstellar junket before the wedding and birth. He missed her terribly. He prayed fervently the end would not come with her away. He prayed it would.
As he lay in their half-empty bed, he mentally reached out, knowing that touching her mind was impossible. Yet he indulged himself with the attempt and sent love outward for the universe to do with as it would.
Without conscious decision, thoughts drifted to another soul he loved…Archangel. He, too, was out there somewhere. Once again, fate demanded much of the Human, as it had when Ztar first saw him years earlier. Currently, though, Archangel's destiny was the mind-boggling feat of helping to save a galaxy.
How Ztar wished he could see the Human one last time. To tell him yet again the depth of his gratitude. To hold the man in his arms…protect him…make love to his precious Esserru once more.
Desire grew intense to feel Archangel's comforting physical presence. Lacking Jharda in his bed seemed to reignite that old fire. Stretching mental abilities to their limit, and then pushing past those boundaries with desperate yearning, the powerful telepath and soulbound sought his former lover. One touch; a single brush of Archangel's mind was all he desired. A moment's connection. His head hurt from the effort as his soul pleaded for some response.
It was not to be.
Finally, exhausted, Ztar fell into fitful sleep.
###
Sukja was concerned. Working late on royal wedding details, he frowned in the direction of Ztar's quarters. Something was deeply troubling the man, but despite Sukja's best efforts, the emperor insisted it was simply the usual imperial troubles and upcoming personal milestones. The emperor's aide did not believe that. Yet for the sake of the ruler who had become dear to him, Sukja had finally dropped the issue.
Setting the PI down, he leaned back. 'Perhaps, old friend, you will eventually confide in me. Or Jharda. Or someone.'
Or someone… Thoughts trailed to Archangel. Where was he? Of late, Ztar was scant on details when it came to the winged man. Why the secrecy? Troubling. Grabbing his glass, the Ozjaerian downed the last gulp of Dison.
'Mysterious troubles as the two happiest days in the Ztar and Jharda's lives approach.'
With a quick prayer to his god for banishment of whatever was distressing Ztar, Sukja called it a night.
###
"Did you say something, Flint?"
The redhead shook his head, and then returned to his PI game.
Ettwanae gave Warren a curious look as the gathering room had been silent while everyone passed the time with individual activities.
"Thought I heard him say something." Warren shrugged. "My imagination, I guess." He parted with a quick grin, and returned to reading, snuggled next to the woman he loved.
###
"Say that again?!"
At his side, Ettwanae gasped. "What?!"
Warren glared at the holo-image of Phai standing on Volu's bridge. Every second brought them closer to the Atmos star system and whatever dangers waited. Phai's appearance had been expected; what she shared was not.
"I apologize, but I wished to shield you from that stress as long as reasonable."
Warren was livid at the impassive Shozen leader. "So you decided to wait until we're nearly to Atmos to spring your little surprise."
"It was in everyone's best interest."
He wasn't sure which to be most angry about – that Phai and her ilk had unilaterally decided to keep them in the dark or that she obviously withheld more than just their coming role.
"Then you'd better explain real fast how the two of us can be a key when we're not soulbound!" he demanded hotly.
Phai's blanked expression set off more warning sirens.
"That condition is not permanent."
He narrowed eyes as his heart began to pound, anger edging toward horror. "There's only one way we know to break a soulbinding. What the hell are you planning?!"
Ettwanae's hand was on his arm, squeezing tightly. No doubt, her thoughts were heading to the same conclusion.
"The false soulbinding will be severed. You and Ettwanae will be able to join."
Warren thought his heart would break free from his chest, but there was perhaps still hope. "You said 'will be' – Ztar's still alive?"
"Yes."
"For how long?" Warren snarled as feathered limbs snapped sharply. He was on the cusp of panic for his friend. "When do you plan to murder him?"
"I do not plan to murder the Emperor."
Warren wanted to rip the woman apart. "Damn it, Phai! If you know another way to break our soulbinding, why the hell didn't you say something before now?"
"I ask that you trust me – the binding will be severed."
He wanted to take the Shozen by her long, white throat and force her to explain, but it was only a holo projection. "We go no further until you tell us everything!" A quick nod from Ettwanae confirmed her support. "Volu, stop now."
Phai was unruffled. "Volu understands the situation, Warren. She will not falter."
Ettwanae took on a bewildered expression. "Volu?"
"I am sorry, my Other. Phai is correct. We have no time to stop and argue. Our fate and that of trillions rests with the Elders' plan."
Fury exploded Warren's composure. White wings flared. "Then tell me what the hell you're planning!"
Then he recalled Ztar's last comm and its strange undertones. It hit him. If not by murder, then… 'Oh, god!' He burned a lethal glare into the crystalline-blue eyes that were so similar his and Ettwanae's.
"He knows, doesn't he? Ztar knows the bond has to be broken!"
Phai's chin rose slightly. "The Emperor knows."
Blood drained. Guts twisted. Desperation flooded.
"No! Phai, don't let him do it! There must be some other way!" Warren's mind raced with images of Ztar taking his own life. The man would do that – he'd sacrifice himself to save everyone. Phai simply watched in her typical, infuriatingly detached manner.
Ettwanae latched on, burying her face in his chest. "Warren, I'm sorry. So sorry."
Phai stood motionless. Warren's stomach churned. Jharda…the baby… He gripped Ettwanae tightly.
"Phai, please – there must be another way!" He would beg if he must. "Ztar can't die. Not like that. Not because of me…not from some accident of nature that should never have happened!"
He grew sick and shaky. Clutching to Ettwanae, she was the strength holding him up. Her hand snaked up between his wings, gently rubbing up and down to soothe.
The Shozen shook her head slowly as sadness stole dispassion. "There is no other way. The Esha'Aru clones are risky; a failsafe to be used only if we had no viable natural pair. The Sentinel may very well see them as unworthy. You and Ettwanae are our best hope, but you must be soulbound or you will not be permitted within Etxan'Ir. Ztar understands and what is at stake."
"You can't ask that of him," he protested, but knew it was wasted effort.
A snowy-white holo hand came to rest on Warren's arm. Blue eyes snagged blue. Surprisingly, Warren could see pain within their azure depths. "He was my chosen Unifier for a reason. He has the strength and courage to do whatever is necessary." Unexpectedly, moisture filled the woman's eyes. "I truly wish his death was not the price of victory. Ztar is noble and honorable. He became all I knew he could be and so much more. To save this galaxy only to have the future robbed of what would have been one of its most magnificent leaders is a cruel injustice. My soul rages with yours."
"What if the clones are accepted? Ztar could live then, right?" He grabbed the idea like a lifeline. Resting a troubled head on Ettwanae's, he closed his eyes briefly to pray the answer was the right one.
"That would save him, but time and distance are our enemies, Warren." The white-haired woman's voice sounded weary as she moved back, dropping her hand as if defeated. "If there was any other way…"
The answer spoke of not taking chances…of doing things that in the end may prove unnecessary. Phai's body language held sincere, deep-felt remorse. Warren hardened his heart against her display of emotion.
"There are always options. I refuse to believe Ztar's death is a foregone conclusion. Can't you tell him to wait until we know about the clones?" Swallowing the lump in his throat, it was an easy decision to do whatever was necessary to gain Ztar a fighting chance. "Phai, please – I beg you. Isn't there a way to have him wait for a signal that the clones are rejected? With all your advanced technology, can't you hold off until we know?" Warren held her gaze unfaltering. She seemed to be calculating, contemplating. "If you care about him, please…don't let him die if there's any other way."
Phai stiffened, but Warren wasn't sure how to read it.
"I will try," she sighed deeply, "but make no promises."
His heart skipped a beat. Maybe, just maybe. "Thank you-" he started, but the Shozen cut him off with a sharp raise of her hand.
"What I want…what you want…is meaningless if it means we fail. You know as well as I, failure isn't an option. His dying may be unavoidable no matter how much we wish otherwise. Do you understand?"
As much as Warren riled against it, he understood. Time and circumstances were not allies. Events on Atmos Prime may happen too quickly or in too much chaos. If they saved Ztar only to sacrifice the galaxy, what would it matter? Yet where there was life, there was hope…and it took form in the clones. He would not loose faith yet – not when it mattered most.
"I understand. That does not mean we stop looking for alternatives, even at the last possible moment."
The Shozen Elder suddenly responded to something happening around her before refocusing attention to Warren and Ettwanae. "If Ztar can be spared, I will do my utmost to make it so."
Warren's wanted to believe her, but his head said he would never see his dear friend again. His soul decried fate.
###
Jharda pulled back from the kiss. She'd been home over a day, and still Ztar was troubled. Separation had made his mental state more apparent.
"Your kiss gives you away. I am home, safe and well." She patted her belly. "Our baby is fine. You worried about nothing."
The man's large and powerful hand gently caressed the bulge where their child grew. "How could I not? You shouldn't have gone this late in your pregnancy."
She laughed lightly. "I was hardly going to hostile territory! Plus, Chenro was with me, which was completely unnecessary. My due date isn't for another 35 days." Jharda went silent and studied the face of the man she loved more fiercely than she had known she could. "It was more than my being away that has you anxious."
The smile that came was forced, that she knew even without outward signs. Her heart saw what eyes could not.
"Perceptive, as always. It is as I've said before, the usual imperial matters and problems seem to nag and nip more acutely now that fatherhood and marriage approach. Can I be the parent and mate you both deserve when I have an empire to manage? Doubts weigh heavy."
She frowned. "Others can manage the empire – one of the benefits of our new government. Or are you saying you regret letting go of daily control?"
The black-crimson-haired head shook determinedly. "No, I'm not saying that. Even under the new system, ruling demands much of me….as it will you – more than your current position. What of our child? I will not leave him to be raised by others. These are my worries."
Believe the words or what instinct whispered? That was her choice until Ztar decided to share more fully. She'd allow him the misdirect.
Jharda put on a determined expression, but softened with mirth around the edges. "No child of ours will be raised by anyone but the two of us." Leaning in and rising on tiptoes, he obliged her and bent for a quick kiss. "Us and her vauntus."
A rumbling chuckle rewarded her verbal taunt. "His vauntus. And we will raise a magnificent future ruler!"
The beaming smile chased concerns into a dark corner, if only for a while.
###
After Phai's image winked out, Warren sequestered himself in his quarters. Despite determination to cling to hope, he was devastated. He now knew the reason for the out-of-the-blue comm on Ekkamm – why the man was down and acting oddly.
'God, if only I had known. If I'd only pressed more.' He fumed at himself; then at Ztar for keeping secrets. Then softened his heart knowing the man was shielding those he cared about.
'It would be like him to have told no one – probably not even Jharda. Or Sukja. Anyone. No, Ztar would carry that ultimate burden alone to spare those he loved from pain for as long as possible…until his death.'
"I want to talk with him, Volu. Patch me though," he demanded while pulling the PI off the nightstand crate.
Hesitation.
"My apologies, Warren, but that is unwise."
Ire flared. "Why?! You helped me get through on Ekkamm, why not now?" He waved a dismissive hand. "No, I don't care about your reasoning. Work your vaunted U'larr techno-magic and put a comm through! I have to talk with him." Needed to speak with the man for perhaps the last time. Had to. Must.
"Phai believes, as do I, that it will only make the situation more difficult. For Ztar's sake, let him believe you are unaware."
Warren drew in a sharp breath. How could he argue that?
Rage and soul-deep pain exploded. He threw the PI against the wall. "Damn Phai! Damn the Eilu! Fuck everything! This is not right!" His thin hold on control slipped away, and he didn't care. Ztar was important to him – he cared deeply for the man. And there wasn't a damn thing he could do to save him.
###
Ettwanae didn't know what to do. Warren was far more upset than he had let on, of that she was certain. After he left the bridge, she remained behind, uncertain if she should follow or leave him be. Volu said to let him go. She wasn't sure it was the right decision.
Her soulbound-to-be was facing the death of his current soulbound – a pain she could not imagine. Sure, it was a false bonding, but their souls were intertwined nonetheless. She thought to what her mother had shared about when her father was dying. The anguish would be great. And there nothing she could do to shield him from it.
Sniffing back empathetic tears, she went looking for Gatebi. She found the elder woman on the lower level checking supplies.
"Gatebi?" she called weakly.
Looking up from a storage tub, Gatebi's face went from curious to worried in an instant. "Ettwanae, what is wrong?"
She stood in place, looking to her best friend for comfort, wanting to cry on Warren and Ztar's behalf. "Gatebi, it's- it's so unfair!"
The Alcab hurried over. "What happened?"
All the Shozen leader had said spilled out. Half way through, Gatebi had guided them to the floor. She listened without interrupting, holding Ettwanae's hand. At some point along the way, tears had begun to flow.
"He's alone in his room right now. He tried to hide it, but he's distraught. Volu said I should let him have his privacy, but I don't know. I think I should be with him. I want to be with him." She searched her friend's face for permission to do as her heart said she should.
Gatebi returned the gaze, wiped a tear trailing down Ettwanae's cheek. "I know that's what you want to do, but give him a little time. This pain is between him and the Emperor. It's private pain."
"My head understands what you're saying. Volu said the same thing, but I disagree. Warren needs me. He loves me and I love him. I should be comforting him."
"You told me that at one time, he loved Ztar. If you go to him right now, you will be inserting yourself into those old feelings and that relationship." Gatebi gripped her hands and held a firm gaze. "As painful as it is to hear, you may not be wanted there at the moment."
It wasn't what she wanted to hear, yet it seemed logical. Sometimes, she hated logic!
###
Volu had remained quiet in the wake of his brief tantrum. Then an idea came. Warren scrambled to retrieve the PI and resettled on the bed.
"I'll pretend it's one of my check-ins. I told him I'd do that from time to time. You can't deny me the right to say good-bye even if he doesn't know that's what I'm doing." Saying the words spurred desperation and sorrow; the combination threatened to overcome him.
"Ztar is an intelligent being – he will know something is wrong."
Warren knew Volu was right, but he'd not let her deter him. "You don't know me very well, then. I can bluff with the best of them."
"I am truly sorry, Warren, but Phai is correct. Put his need above your own."
Rage rejoined desperation and anguish in swirling turmoil. "You don't know anything about what's between Ztar and me! He is- he was-" Warren shook in fury. "He and I have to talk. Put a signal through! NOW!"
"No."
"Fuck you! You have no right to do this! Ztar needs to know that I-" Warren stopped, uncertain of where the outburst was leading.
"What does he need to know, Warren?"
What indeed if it was truly their final farewell? That he still cared deeply? Loved him? Ettwanae was the love of his life now. Of that, there was no doubt. So what was Ztar to him? Friend? The man remained part of him…more than a brother; only slightly less than a soul mate.
"I need him to know…" Something was trying to come to light…some declaration from deep within him.
"Yes, Warren?"
The feeling pushing up had nothing to do with whom he loved or the form of that love. He curled into himself, pulling wings tight. 'God, don't let us save everyone but Ztar. Don't take him, I beg you. People need him – Jharda…their child…the Empire. If not for me, for them – please, let him live!'
He wept. Then the barrier dissolved and the soul spoke its truth. He didn't want their soulbinding to end. He wanted to be forever linked. Soulbinding with Ettwanae was still what his heart desired, but he wanted Ztar, too.
He wanted both of them. It was an ironic truth he'd share with no other living being.
###
Gatebi had seen the look before. Ettwanae had come to a decision, and nothing was going to stop her.
"There are times, Gatebi, when logic doesn't apply. The man I love is in pain. Warren needs me whether he knows it or not. I'm going to him."
With that, the Esha'Aru rose and walked resolutely to the lift. In a single, elegant leap and snap of wings, she shot up and disappeared.
The Alcab smiled. 'That's the Ettwanae I know and love.'
###
As Ettwanae approached Warren's room door, what her adoptive father once spoke rang so clearly in her mind it was as if Bhenra had whispered them in her ear.
'Sometimes, words are a hindrance.'
Oh, her sweet Baumpa. If only she'd been able to save him. If only she'd come home sooner. If only she hadn't gone out…
Pain of loss swept up, and she shuddered. Now the man she loved fiercely was facing an equally devastating loss. It was no secret from her how much Warren cared for…even loved…the Turzent. Their soulbinding told her everything Warren not shared.
Warren loved her now…she did not question that for a moment. Yet old loves sometimes never fully end. She accepted that in Warren. She refused to feel threatened by it. But facing the likely death of his long-time partner, Warren would be struggling and torn.
She, however, would not be. She would be his strength and anchor. She would be there when he needed her most, even when he didn't realize he did.
When Volu opened the door without asking permission, Ettwanae's heart broke at the sight….Warren encased in feathers, shoulders and wings visibly shaking as sounds of quiet sobbing escaped the white cocoon.
Stepping inside, the door dilated shut behind her. Silently, she crawled on the bed and slowly entwined herself around him. There were no objections, no rebuffs – only his arms grabbing hold and pulling her close.
Coiled together, he cried into her shoulder. She would not push him to speak; not pry for words. Sometimes, they were indeed a hindrance.
###
We're on the cusp of the story's climax. After this, the final 10 installments. Next time, though, a lull before the storm. C30 will be a special treat for fans of a certain pairing. :-) See you in a few days…
