"I'll take care of her. Just... slide away."
I gently shift the sleeping Padawan's head from his chest.
Anakin gives me a confused, circumspect look.
"I'm suggesting you go, laserbrain. You got it all, now try to keep it." I force myself to smile. "Let's just take what comes, right? We're good. Padme will probably be too if you drag that ass from my couch to 500 Republica. Don't make me believe I care about her more than you do."
He gets up and carefully studies my face until a smirk surfaces. "Sounds like the first step toward a threesome, to me."
I snort.
Anakin leans down, hand brushing softly down the edge of my tunic, and kisses me in a way that makes me wonder why the kriff I'm letting him leave.
'Beware what you wish for,' I think, deliberately allowing him to sense it.
.
I wake up to caf and bacon smell. Last time this happened, I still had my Padawan braid. In my kitchen, the morning is bright, the table is set, and a smoking tower of flat-cakes awaits.
"This is way better than the last breakfast I had and enormously better than all the ones I ate alone," I declare before taking the first sip from my mug.
Ashoka is pouring onto her dish enough frill syrup to drown. "If Anakin was responsible for yesterday one, you surely deserve compensation. This is the least I could do after falling asleep on your couch twice in a week."
"Whenever you want, young one. I like having you here. Home can feel empty."
This makes her mouth twist. She suggests that, probably, a new Padawan would have further perks than getting the old one mad.
Actually, she's not wrong; an apprentice would effectively keep Anakin at a distance, and my mind busy. Though our Bond already takes all the available space and I can't even imagine living with someone that isn't him.
"Don't tell Anakin," I finally reply. "But I'm not taking another. He has been enough for a lifetime."
And I've done enough damages already.
"We've been talking about you, yesterday..." For a moment, I'm unsure whether to continue but, as it often happens lately, it feels like there won't be any other chance. "I'm afraid your Master can't see you're not a youngling anymore. Probably, I'm not the right person either but, well... if ever there's something you'd rather address with me..."
Her fork freezes mid-air before she bursts out laughing. "I know, right? Anakin acts bold, but he hasn't even fully recovered from finding my pads. So, no, I'm not bringing the topic up with him..." Ahsoka takes a thoughtful bite, faintly reddening. "Honestly, 'there is no passion' is vague enough, and 'no attachment' doesn't necessarily imply chastity, does it?"
She gives me an awkward yet sly smile I can't help mirroring. For once, the subject isn't making me uncomfortable; her merit, not mine.
"Your Master will give himself fits if he finds out I'm telling you this, but it actually is a matter of interpretation and personal choices. The Force wouldn't forbid natural impulses for the sake of it. What remains to see is if - and how - you can fit them within the Code."
"It sounds... complicated," comments Ahsoka, so mindfully I want to hug her.
"Indeed, it isn't easy, neither mandatory - this is why many Jedi just renounce. It mostly is about knowing yourself and your limits, being aware of how far you can go before stepping onto shaky grounds. I like to think you're smart enough to deal with the 'no offsprings' part..." I quirk an eyebrow at her. She gives me a small, slightly cringing nod. "As for the 'no attachment' one, you can't decide once and for all; your conduct will have to adapt all through your life. 'No passion' might mean one should always be able to let go..."
"Mh, I won't be any good. I have trouble keeping boundaries... Theoretically!" She swiftly answers to my frown. "Force, you're the last person I imagined giving me this lecture."
"People keep telling me I don't give out that impression, maybe I should start asking myself some questions." I snicker and shrug. "I'm not different from others, Ahsoka. I too am flawed, and struggle."
Her smile leaves no doubts about what she'd like to inquire next, and I manage to prevent her. "So, what's on your schedule today?"
"Master Sinube's class and some training. Although, I guess Anakin won't be around..." She discreetly checks on my reaction. "What about yours?"
"A lecture from Master Windu, first. Then, from Vos. Not looking forward to either of those."
.
Outside, the Temple is still licking its wounds.
I cross its corridors wearing an inappropriate smile. My life is a disaster, and I couldn't care less. Delegating it, even to the worst possible person, feels amazing. I'm not myself, and it's scary and beautiful at once.
Gravely discussing last day attack with Windu, the angles of my lips keep raising. Neither his sceptical comments about my indisposition nor his snide remarks to me being unreachable manage to bring them down.
However, his disappointment doesn't stop him from enlisting me for tomorrow Council meeting and charging Quinlan and me with the Tann quest. Anakin will die before letting us go alone, and I'm not even annoyed.
He must've spent the night mending fences and stacking lies - among the other things I rather not imagine right away. I do wonder how many of them that woman believes in; if she hurts, if she even cares.
Perhaps, Padme is too busy to worry and prefers to look away. Maybe she's had enough of him. After all, I was never sure how much she loves him and how much she just likes the way she looks in his eyes. One day, she and I will have to sit together to compare all the tales he feeds us, and the ones we tell others to be with him.
I inhale deeply, forcing my mind somewhere else. Almost certainly, I'm still able to do something besides sleeping with my former Padawan. Catching up with my partner seems like a good thing to start with.
I find him surveying the arena, where Ahsoka is sparring against a tall boy.
Her peers are cheering for her; the guy she's hitting either is nobody's favourite or, he deserves it. The way she's fighting suggests it may be somewhat personal. She briefly falters when she notices me. I feel responsible, though absurdly flattered.
Pretending not to notice my idiotic expression, Quin reveals a long talk with Sing unearthed a few names worth checking.
He points his chin toward Ahsoka. "I came to ask if she heard anything from Ohnaka, but she's busy beating the crap out of some guy."
"I dined with her last night," I reply. "I could have asked her myself."
"You didn't because you're not thinking with your head, but with your lightsaber."
"Says the lightsaber enthusiast," I retort, summoning my most dignified glance.
Quin throws a heavy arm over my shoulders.
"My enthusiasm," he confesses with a grin "Mostly depends on the sparring partner."
Ahsoka's adversary vexedly refuses the hand she offers. She exits the arena, barely concealing the swag in her walk, and bows her head before us.
"I've never seen lovely and scary go on so well," remarks Quin, letting me enjoy her simper.
She learns what we want and frowns, trying to remember. "Aurra and Hondo were arguing like a married couple. She insisted they come back to Coruscant. He kept saying there was a - forgive me - 'shit storm' arriving here, so she could as well go pulling a Rancor's tail. She needed who gave her the job; from the way they were talking about her, someone too fat, even for a hutt."
Quinlan turns to me again. "This drastically skims my list. I suggest a tour of Master Vos' informers in the afternoon. Unless you were planning some more sparring with Skywalker."
"We can take a pause," I dryly reply. "You bring the topic up so much that I'm starting to suspect you'd like to train with us. Curiously, Anakin has the symmetrical wish to join our mission. Not sure which scenario is more frightening."
Ahsoka's eyes move back and forth to keep up with an exchange I delude myself she can't completely get.
"I'm sure they can work together without hurting each other," she intercedes. "They are so reasonable..."
My friend slaps her back lekku.
The girl whines, sheepishly stroking it. "I would never let you spar alone, Uncle Quin."
He coughs and laughs all the same, making me fear for his life. "Force knows I've been sparring alone for too long..." My scowl convinces him to adjust his shot. "I'll gladly accept your offer once you're knighted, Padawan."
.
Later that day, I'm in a foggy, Force-forgotten cantina, waiting for Quin with my back against the counter. His informer is clearly going through spice withdrawal; his slurred speech and unsteady focus aren't positively affecting the questioning.
"Our hutt changes her nest every other day. She's in the F'tu district, now," my friend says when he's finally done. "We're endangering whoever we talk to; this one was scared to death. I wish scum could fear Jedi as well. Unfortunately, our threats happen to be way less efficient than Separatists' ones."
Anakin would know how to remedy this.
I can't believe what I just thought.
His inference in this mission would have been inopportune, and the idea alone of handling him and Quin together gives me a headache. I would be pleased he isn't in sight if only I could stop imagining him pressing Padme against a mattress.
The Kaerlia Queen Hotel was the place to be a decade ago. Now, despite the efforts to preserve the status, worn out tapestries and cracked stuccoes make it more decadent than posh. The local fauna matches; sordid and dusty.
Quin gives me way. "Your turn to shine, Negotiator."
The pimpled boy behind the Kirin-wood reception desk is staring at us up and down. Quietly weaving my hand, I suggest we do have an appointment, and he will give us the code to the attic.
He writes it down on a scrap of paper, thoughtfully repeating my words to himself.
I turn back to Quin. "People up there won't mind betraying Tann, as long as she doesn't know. Don't 'saber your way in, please, and avoid pissing everyone off, me included."
"Roger; lightsaber on my belt, mouth shut. Your concerns show you've been working with Skywalker way too much. Where is he, anyway? Still bodyguarding Senators?"
I decide he doesn't deserve an answer and let him follow me to the lift-tube.
The sliding doors open directly into a suite straight out of an old holodrama; all dark wood and reddish light filtering through thick velvet curtains - without mentioning the bodyguards grabbing our shoulders and the busty woman crossing legs over a shiny dining table.
"Our unscheduled visit is utterly unbecoming," I commence. "Our only hope is that news about Aurra Sing will gain us your boss' forgiveness."
The glimpse of panic in the woman's eyes at the bounty hunter's name confirms I played the right card. She purses her lips and escorts us without a word to the adjacent room.
Mama the hutt herself is sprawling all over a disproportionate bed, idly munching great handfuls of Moss chips from a silver plate. Her multiple chins are liberally sprinkled with crumbs.
The good thing with hutts is that they are predictable; pull the strings of credits and self-preservation, and you'll never have surprises.
Today, the second alone suffices. Sing's link with what bad happened to Coruscant over last week is all over the holonews, the next scapenerf will be the lady hutt that made it all possible. Offering the Council's - and perhaps everyone else's - forgetfulness is enough to get me two planets' names.
"Those will do," comments Quin when I'm back. "There aren't infinite places to hide an army, after all."
.
We agree to plan our next move at the Temple dining-hall.
Sadly, the peak-hour crowd doesn't spare me my friend's close examination as he decides where's the best place to hit.
I keep my eyes on my dish. "Go looking for Tann with someone else. Get rid of me, and you will get rid of Anakin as well."
"This thing is ours, Kenobi, we've been working on it since its beginning. Let Skywalker follow if he must. I'll behave unless you start making out right in front of me." My face makes him grimace. "Mother of Kwath. Getting laid makes you look like you're high on death sticks."
"Let's face it," I keep my voice down in hope he'll do the same. "You're obsessed with my bedroom activities."
"I'm not, asshole. It's just that I can't imagine you two..." Quin makes an obscene gesture I wish I could unsee.
"Luckily, you don't have to. So, do not even consider asking the thing you're about to ask."
"This is unfair!" He grouses, tremendously disappointed. "Pretend you have a friend. A good guy, if not that he's married to the Code and has been in his sixties since he was sixteen. Despite all your heroic efforts to find someone to warm up his bed, he only had had a couple over his life; girly humans, blonde, blue eyed, fair complexion, about his age, tight-asses know-it-all. He dumped them both without blinking the moment things got remotely day, you find this same guy absolutely fucked up, shagging a boy that's the most annoying shit the Temple will ever see. You'd suspect you've been missing some fundamental information about the kid. You'd end up questioning your so far unshakable faith in the direct link between the hilt size and other dimensions. You'd deserve to know who the kriff tops, by the Core!"
The Ithorian Knight at the next table turns his head to us. I bite my lip to smother a snicker, uncertain whether my lack of blushing is a good or a bad sign.
"If I were this dude's friend, I'd already know." I tease. "And, I'd cry over all the time wasted matching him with girls."
"That's heart-wrenching, indeed. You know what else is? Not being able to enjoy the first time I see you happy in ages. I know all too well where this will lead, and can't understand how you don't."
"Oh, but I do. I even had a vision." I already regret what I'm saying. "Anakin and I, trying to kill each other."
"Be assured you're not the first that fantasised of killing the Chosen One. I'm sure your Master told you that dreams pass in time."
"Anakin had it too, and we weren't sleeping. It has been... Triggered."
"What the kark were you-" Quin covers his eyes. "Nevermind, pretend I didn't ask. Let's stick to the vision."
"All was ablaze. It was him or me... part of me wished to succumb."
Saying it felt like purging a wound. We will go down together, and we can't save ourselves. It's so clear I wonder why I've been struggling before. All we can do is enjoy the fall. More than tragic, it's freeing.
"Nobody likes that foolish smile of yours more than I, so I hate saying this." My friend could as well be announcing my infected arm must be amputated. "You can't change what you feel, but it's not too late to take some measures."
My desolate expression softens his frown. He ruffles the hair on the top of my head like he used to do when we were Padawans. "More often than not, is trusting a vision that makes it happen, Obi-Wan."
