Thank you so much for the reviews, enjoy this chapter. I might rewrite it if You guys don't like it but I think it's pretty decent. Tell me what you think.

I do not own Glee.


"Good morning Angel." Britt smiled and ruffled her little sister's hair as she woke her up. "It's Christmas morning and that means you're going out with the boys after we open gifts."

Rachel moaned and buried herself deeper into the pillows and blankets "I am too tired just leave me alone." She mumbled tiredly; this was the first time in two months she had actually been able to sleep and she wasn't going to let it slip through her finger tips.

"Come on Rach it's like eleven already and the guys have been waiting for you since eight." Brittany told her softly as she pulled the comforter off ,soliciting a groan.

"Fine." Rachel huffed rolling out of the bed and marching out of the basement and up the stairs.

"Merry Christmas!" Sam sang as he caught her around the waist and spun her around "The sleepy head is finally awake." Rachel shoved past him harshly and ran up the stairs. "What the hell is going on with my princess?" He asked himself sighing deeply before sitting on the stairs to wait for the tiny brunette. The two of them were going to have a little chat before she left with the other guys.

"Sam what are you doing?" Rachel asked when she felt his arm tug her down to sit on the steps next to him." Sam I have to get going Britt said the guys are waiting for me to leave."

Sam smiled at how many layers Rachel was wearing but quickly shook his head and glared at the young girl. "Rachel what is with the attitude lately? I mean tell me the truth here kiddo because I have no idea what your deal is but you're not acting like yourself."

Rachel sighed deeply playing with the strings on her coat before finally looking into her brother's eyes "I had to run to the bathroom Sam. I needed a tampon. "She whispered in mock embarassment, it was the perfect lie because femine problems always made Sam squirm, and squirm he most certainly did.

"Sorry Rachel uh have fun playing hockey." He mumbled before dropping a quick kiss on the brunette hair and running from the room quickly.

Santana walked into the foyer to see her little sister pulling her knit cap over her head and her throwing her skates across her shoulder. "Everybodies in the kitchen princess so come and eat breakfast." At her sister's reluctance Santana grabbed her arm and pulled her to the kitchen and into a chair. "Eat."

"I'm not really hungry." The brunette whispered feeling her stomach churn painfully as she looked at all of the food. The appetite which she once had was know gone and she couldn't even choke anything down without spewing her guts everywhere.

Puck shook his head but actually believed the girl because in all honesty she was looking green. "Are you up for it Rach?" At the teen's nod he smiled. "Alright I already told Mark if it feels like the ice is going to crack you've got to move okay."

"I know," Rachel turned to her father "Daddy are you coming?"

Will smiled at his bundled up little girl and nodded eagerly "I am and I am ready to get moving."

They open the gifts and she can't even pretend to be happy because it's not like Christmas has that same magic it did when she was a kid. Rachel no longer believes that Santa claus will make things better so she smiles when she receives each and every but doesn't really believe it. Christmas sucks and she just wants it to be over as soon as absolutely positive.


Rachel was having fun. The teenager was acutally enjoying playing hockey with her brothers and nephew and for the first time in a long time she doesn't feel like she's dying, not dying, no more like drowning. Rachel was drowning in her own fears and it was killing her in the slowest way possible...suspense. The suspense was eating away at her and she didn't know for how much longer she could last without seriously losing her mind.

"Rachel you sure are good kiddo." Riley speaks breaking the troubled girl from her morbid thoughts to turn and look at the man her sister loves.

"Thanks Riley." She responds as she skates over to where everybody else is and waits to see what they are planning now.

They were skating and she doesn't know how it happens but she gets pushed to the ground by Mike and she flashes back; it's like she is in the dark hallways of Blue Lake and she can't breathe, she can't fucking breathe. Rachel cannot seem to remember that she's with the people she loves, and instead she just screams not to touch her to please not touch her. She shakes and sobs and hides herself with her hands.

Mike looks at Rachel in shock she's got a haunted look in her eye and she's having a panic attack, she's struggling for breath. "Rachel you're fine look at me kiddo." The young man speaks softly, begging his little sister to stop freaking out and to just act normally again; She doesn't move and she doesn't speak and they have to leave so he scoops her up and carries her to the car.

"What's happening?" Will asks frantically as he holds a very confused Mark. "Please Riley just tell me what the fuck is going on with my little girl."

Riley blanches because he doesn't want to believe that Rachel had been attacked. "I think Rachel was attacked." Riley looks into her eyes and he can tell... he did a round at a psych ward and this looks too familiar. "I think she may have been physically harassed."

Rachel somehow becomes aware of her surroundings and realizes that she's in the car with Mike holding her too tight against his chest and he's breathing heavily. " Mike, what happened?" She asks looking into his worried almond eyes .

"Rachel baby are you okay," He asks pulling her even closer in the small space and kissing her forehead "I was so worried." He whispers into her ear hugging her in relief once again.

Feeling the tears in her eyes she knows she cannot lie to herself any longer so she opens her mouth "I am not okay I just need to talk to Britt or San."

"It'll be okay princess, everything will be okay."


She sits there , between her two sisters, the rest of her family near and she just starts explaining to them how she feels. "There's this guy at my school and he's been harassing me since I started there and I'm scared. I don't know why he took an interest in me and I don't know why he won't leave me alone but I know that he's getting braver."

Santana feels her heart tighten painfully in her chest as she sees her little sister cry and tell her story. The young woman wants to go find the boy that's been harassing her little sister and rip him to shreds. "Oh Angel why didn't you tell anyone ?" She asks as she clutches her sister in her grasp tightly.

"I...there's nothing anybody can do there's no proof." Rachel cries looking down at the floor, not wanting to see the eyes of her family members.

Puck is about to fucking cut someone's head off that is his little sister and that means no one touches her. "What's this guy's name Rach?" He asked cracking his knuckles and growling lowly.

"I don't want to talk about this it's christmas I just want to not think about it for a day." The young girl pleads with wide,tear-filled, eyes.

Will looks between his little girl and his crying wife. "I think that would be a good idea, but we will talk about it tomorrow." He agrees because he cannot stand to see the broken girl and the rest of his children looking so defeated.

Kurt's angry, he is so fucking angry that he cannot even contain himself. Rachel always gets what she wants but right now she can't receive what she wants because it will eat her up inside. "What the fuck?" he screams standing from the couch and pacing. "Rachel you are not getting what you want. We are talking about this right now!"

Rachel feels herself getting angry and she too stands from her place and stares Kurt down "You can't make me talk about it Kurt!" She yells matching his tone and wiping her eyes. "I can handle things on my own and I don't need any of you."

Now Sam is angry because honestly if Rachel believes she doesn't need help she is completely delusional. "Rachel will you just admit you're messed up?" He asks softly looking into the hollow, empty, eyes and he wants to cry. "Will you just admit that you need help from us?"

"Oh and you're all so fucking perfect!" Rachel screams looking around the room at the blobs she sees. She is so messed up in the end right now that she cannot even make out their face she just sees red blobs. "You're all so great and I am so just... what terrible!" She yells and storms off to the stairs before turning around to face her stunned family members. "Merry fucking Christmas!"

"How could you not have realized that she was acting like this?" Mike asks his 'parents' softly. Mike is so upset at everybody for not realizing that their diva, their princess is broken more than any of them could ever imagine.

Shelby's crying because she always knew she wasn't a great mom; She let her kids get away with murder and rarely questioned their behaviors and now she was paying for it. "I didn't...I wouldn't... I don't know what to do!" She cries before she to flees from the room in tears, Will right on her heels.

"I have to go play with the kids." Finn looks down averting his gaze before traveling down to the basement to hold his children and play with their new toys, he can't fix Rachel and he knows it.

"I need to go cry." Ella says simply as she slowly extracts her pregnant body off of the couch and holds out a hand for Tina both pregnant women want to cry together and so they do.

" God damn!" Santana screams and then she and Riley leave ; she cannot take the look on Rachel's face any longer and she just needs to hold her little boy and take in his baby scent.

"Puck I think you should go talk to her." Brittany whispers softly as their eyes meet. "She's always told you everything and she needs somebody to tell her things will be okay."

"I'll head up there." The man whispers heading out of the room slowly and praying his sister will let him in.


It is to much. All of it is just too much and it physically hurts, she has a tight pain in her chest and it just hurts to breathe. Rachel knows that this moment would come because you can only shake a bottle so many times before it eventually explodes and she's finally burst. The worst part about exploding is that everyone witnessed her volcanic eruption.

"I just want to be alone!" She screams toward the knock that arrives not ten minutes later than her metaphoric eruption.

Puck is persistant so he just keeps knocking "Let me in kiddo cause I am not leaving."

Rachel knows just how persistant Puck is and it makes her flash back to an earlier time when she was only thirteen years old.

"Jesse what do I do?" She had cried into the phone as she realized she had gotten her period for the first time and her parents were away.

"I don't know do you want me to google something?" The young teen asked worried about his best friend but not knowing what to do for her.

Rachel let out a strangled sob not wanting anymore people to know about her impending womanhood. "I don't want anyone to know. Jesse I think I should just stay in the bathroom until this is over."

"Rachel!" Puck called through the door and knocked softly "Kiddo you've been in there for a really long time." Puck said feeling concerned that something had happened to his little sister.

"Jeese I have to go." Rachel spoke extremely fast before hanging up and turning towards the door," Puck I am never coming out of her again." She cried sitting on the ground and pulling her knees into her chest.

"Rachel I am your big brother you can tell me anything." Puck whispered softly through the door as he grew more worried.

Slowly the tiny thirteen year old brunette wiped her eyes and stood to open the door. "I have a giant problem Noah!" She cried wrapping her arms around her brother waist and sniffling softly.

"What's wrong Princess?" He asked stroking her hair and rubbing her back soothingly.

Rachel looked down in embarassment," I started my period and I don't know what to do?"

Feeling heat rise to his cheeks Puck averted his gaze and went over to the cabinet to rummage knowing that his mom must have something," Kiddo I can't find anything so I'll go to the drugstore to get you something."

"Hey Noah?" The young girl asked grabbing her brother's wrist to keep him from leaving.

"Yeah," He asked confused and wondering why she was stopping him.

"Thanks for being persistent." She smiled her hundred watt grin and Puck knew he would never stop being persistent when it came to his baby sister.

Opening the door Rachel smiled sadly "I ruined christmas," She went over to her bed and sat down "and I am really sorry for that."

Sitting on the bed next to her Puck shook his head "Rachel you did nothing wrong," he told her truthfully "and no one blames you for that little outburst."

"I am so messed up I can't even believe it." The young diva laughed bitterly as she laid back staring up at the ceiling "I don't even remember what it felt like to not be scared.

The young man frowns deeply as his sister's bitterness and quikly pulls him into her lap. "Baby you are not messed, you are just going through a rough time right now princess. I swear to you that things will get better from here." He pauses and presses a kiss to the top of her head "Rachel you're a star and that means you'll always shine at sometimes more vibrantly than others, but you will always shine."

Rachel shakes her head and burrows herself deeper into her brother's broad chest. "I am like a torn rag doll Noah. I just keep getting knocked down and I just can't get torn again because if so I'll break."

"It will be okay princess and I promise you that." Puck lets the tears fall from his eyes because he failed as an older brother, he could not protect her and it kills him. Puck makes a promise on this Christmas night and it's that no one will ever lay a hand upon his baby sister again. Never again.


"Hey baby," Kurt speaks softly as he opens Rachel's bed to see her huddled in her warm comforter. "I brought you some warm milk and sugar cookies." He tells her walking over to hand her the comforting food items.

"Thanks Kurt." The petite brunette whispers as she reaches out a hesitant hand from her warmth. " Are you made I ruined Christmas?" She whispers softly as he sits across from her to look into her eyes.

Kurt grabs her hand out of the blanket and kisses it softly "Of course you didn't baby," He tells her and at her quirked eyebrow he adds "you didn't Rach. Sweetie you are far more important to me than Christmas. I love you so much and I just want you to know how much."

Rachel crawls over to her brother and wraps her thin arms around him in a tight embrace. "I love you Kurt and I know how much you love me too." Rachel does in fact know just how much her brother loves her. "Where's Blaine?"

Kurt pats her head and hugs her against him again. "Blaine is sleeping, we thought it be best if Puck, Sam, and I talked with you tonight and everybody else spoke with you tomorrow."

Rachel nods and opens her mouth to speak, she doesn't want everyone to worry about her and walk on egg shells around her. "I don't want you to act differently around me Kurt. I love you guys and I am messed up but that's not on you."

"Oh sweetie we know it's not our responsibility to be there, but we do love you sweetie and that means we do things for you."

Rachel lets a very small grace her lips as she looks into her brothers ocean blue eyes "Did you bring the milk in for hopes of a lady chat?"

At this moment they both burst into tears, because things are crap right now but they will always be there no matter what. They hold each other and cry but it's exactly what they both needed.


"You can come in Sammy...I see you lurking over there."

Sam walks into the room from his hiding place around the corner and smiles softly as he sits next to his sister on the floor. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Sam has always has been her favorite person for this reason, he always asks and never orders. The two siblings have been there for each though everything whether that be first dates, losing teeth, or hospital visits the two had never missed a beat. Sam was her best friend in the entire world despite the large age difference they had always connected on a higher level.

"I guess I should start by saying I am terrified." Rachel speaks lowly and brings her knees up to her chest resting her chin on the tops of the bony knees." I walk into Blue Lake and he's there and it's like I cannot breathe, he pushes me into the wall and I can't breathe, he kisses me and I cannot breathe; Sam I just I can't breathe."

Sam looks at her then letting blue eyes meet brown and he talks normally, not like the soft tones everyone else have been using. "Princess I know that you didn't want to worry us but you shouldn't go through things like this alone."

"Don't you see Sam I am alone." She cries getting up from her place on the floor and turning towards the window. "I cannot even tell Justin or Jesse or they'd go crazy and you were all gone and-" She breaks off into painful sobs as she clutches her sweatshirt around her small frame forcefully.

"You know I would've came here for you as soon as you called." Sam cries getting up from his place as he wraps his arms around her from behind. "I love you so much."

Rachel just shakes and pulls herself away from her brother. "I just want to be alone." And she does, she just wants to be with her thoughts and be isolated from everything and everyone.