Ch. 29: Chosen meaning
He was not particularly enjoying the return of feeling at the moment.
Gaster was grateful that the numbness from the medicine was gone and that he could think clearly again, he really was. But he was now painfully aware that there were many, many . . . many small wires running through his hands. And feet. And face. And the thicker ones that were in his elbows and knees. And his spine. His whole spine. He was fine with not moving right now. He would probably be fine with lying in bed for the next few days.
He winced slightly as he let out a deep sigh, he would not be getting back to sleep for a while. Every joint and place where a wire ran through him was sore, his whole body felt like he had been stretched out and pulled apart. He hadn't really realized how tight the wires had gotten until they had been loosened and stretched out. He had turned down more pain medicine though, this ache was tolerable and he preferred it over the numbness. Having less feeling like that, even if he could still move it was just too much like having his collar removed. It felt too much like dying.
Gaster winced again as he shifted a little to get more comfortable, it had been a long while since his body had hurt like this. If he lay still long enough he could feel his magic pulse lightly through his frame as it worked to heal his irritated bones. It was a reassuring feeling, even if he was sore right now he could tell that he was getting better. Whereas before his body had barely been able to keep up with keeping him alive, and he had felt that. He was reminded how very grateful he was that the king had come into his life, the king had saved him in more ways than one.
Gaster couldn't help smiling at that, he loved the king and it always made him feel better to think of him. Gaster tilted his head to the side slightly to glance at the door, the king had promised to come back early today but Gaster wasn't sure when he would get here. When he knew for sure that the king was coming, that was one of the few times that it was hard for him to wait.
He braced himself, sucking in a deep breath and holding it as he slowly began the formidable task of easing himself up. He tensed as he slowly shifted his weight onto his arms before he used them to push himself more upright. He slid back toward the wall, using it as a brace to push himself up more until he was sitting while leaning back against it. He shifted a little to lessen the weight on his spine somewhat before he let his breath out again in a quick huff once he was situated. If the king was going to be coming early today he wanted to be comfortable enough with moving a little by the time he arrived. Gaster could rest again once the king was gone but he didn't want to waste his time with the king by lying about if he could handle being upright for a while.
Gaster flexed his hands and fingers slowly, they weren't too bad right now but he could tell that they would get worse very fast if he used them for the repetitive and quick motions of signing. He glanced over to his notebook on the side table, he was good enough with common now that he could write instead but he wasn't sure if that would be much better for his hands. Maybe if he was slow and light with his writing it wouldn't be too bad.
He stared at his notebook, it was all the way over on the table and he most definitely did not feel like moving to reach it. He let out a slight sigh as he took a hold of his magic, cyan light filling his eye-sockets. He slid his magic around the notebook, lifting it from the table to float it toward himself. He settled it gently in his lap before he let go of his magic again.
Gaster carefully moved to open the book, turning through the pages very slowly as he tried to ease some of the soreness out of his hands. He stopped when he came to the last of the pages he had written on. He took a moment to look over the set of symbols that were scrawled across the page, he had finally completed his symboled alphabet.
He likely could have finished it much sooner but he had taken his time with it, he had wanted it to be just right. Now he just needed a name for it. He let out a humored huff at that thought, he hadn't even thought of a name for himself yet.
He carefully picked up the pencil that he had left in the notebook and slowly eased it to the page to test how well his fingers could handle writing. His fingers cramped up and grew even more irritated immediately, he let out a sigh and dropped the pencil after a few letters. He stared down at the pencil in frustration, he would not be reduced to being unable to communicate again.
Gaster took hold of his magic and slid it around the pencil, picking it up and turning it so that the tip hovered just over the page. He brought it down slowly and attempted the fine movement that was necessary for writing. The pencil moved in large imprecise strokes as he tried to direct it, he concentrated harder trying to make the movements more accurate and light.
The was a loud crack as the previously damaged pencil splintered even more under the weight of his grip. Gaster stared at it with a frown and lightened his hold on it somewhat while still trying to make it move how he wanted it to. He slowed down, trying to write with larger strokes than he normally would have. The letters were very messy and took up a large amount of space on the page but were still mostly legible.
He slowly went through the common alphabet and then his own as he attempted to improve his dexterity while holding the pencil with magic. He tried drawing some simple shapes as well, circles triangles and squares that overlapped and intersected across the page. After a while he was doodling without really noticing, squiggly lines and shapes were scattered across the page.
Gaster wasn't very much for drawing but there was one design that he repeated every once in a while, a messy little shape that was barely distinguishable for what it was supposed to be with how sloppy his movements were. He paused to look at one of them, a little bell shape with stick like wings that stuck out from the sides of it. He glanced back over to the other page with his symbols on it before returning his gaze over to the small doodle of a winged bell. A dingbat.
He furrowed his brow slightly as he looked down at it. His symbols barely resembled the dingbats font anymore but the comparison would always be there, because they were both symboled scripts they could always be seen as similar.
He frowned slightly as he thought, what if he used that comparison to emphasize the differences? Instead of calling his symbols something completely different, have them named something just a step to the side. Similar but clearly not the same? Like Gaster and Aster. Obviously related but also distinctly not the same. Leave the connection in plain sight but have it just different enough that no one would claim that they were the same thing.
Gaster thought for a while, idly twirling the pencil around with his magic as he stared down at the page. Dingbat, similar but different. He traced around the small doodle, making it thoroughly less recognizable as he messily went over it again and again. A winged bell.
Wingdings. He slowly wrote out the word in his symbols, eyeing at how it looked on the page. He rolled the word around in his mind, thinking of how it would sound if someone else said it. He liked the feel of it, it was similar but it was something he had taken and made his own.
Gaster smiled a little as he wrote out his name in his symbols. Gaster in wingdings. He looked down at the page, grinning a little more at the two words on the page. A thought struck him, what if he . . . ? Gaster wrote the two words again closer and more obviously next to each, he stared down at them as they sat side by side.
Wingdings Gaster. He ginned even more as he looked down at the words, it might be a silly way to chose a name but . . . this was his now. This was his name. Both parts were his, one he had chosen and one he had been given. The word Gaster was a little less tainted now that he knew the doctor hadn't chosen it for him and he would not give up something he had taken as his own. These words were his now, they were who he would be.
Gaster wrote them out a few more times, getting a good feel for how they looked on the page even if his writing was barely legible at the moment. There was a knock at the door and Gaster quickly let go of his magic out of habit before the door opened. Gaster gave the king a wide grin as he and Cadis entered.
The king gave him a warm smile in return, "how are you feeling today young one?"
Gaster winced slightly as he shifted a little but managed to keep the smile on his face, his hands twitched a little in his lap but he stopped himself before he signed in answer.
The king gave him a sympathetic look as he moved to kneel next to the bed, "I am sorry to hear that." The king moved to take Gaster's hand before he hesitated, instead gently placing his own hand on top of the blanket over Gaster's leg. "I know that we won't be able to have a proper lesson yet but I thought that you might be interested in learning a little about magic today."
After a moment Gaster gave a small nod to that, he wasn't sure what the king was going to show him but he had mostly been going off of instinct when he used his magic. The doctor had certainly never taught him anything.
The king gave him a nod in return before glancing down at the notebook that still lay open in Gaster's lap, squinting at the doodles and scribbles that were mostly in messy symbols. "What have you been working on young one?"
Gaster grinned more as he gently flipped over to a new page, taking hold of his magic and lifting the pencil to the page. He furrowed his brow in concentration to hold the pencil as steady as he could without putting too much pressure on it. As neatly as possible, which was still rather messy he wrote out Wingdings Gaster in common. Once he was done he let go of his magic and gingerly shifted the book so that the king could have a better look at it.
The king studied the words for a few moments before glancing up to Gaster's face, "Wingdings Gaster?"
Gaster grinned even more as he carefully pointed to himself, barely minding the soreness in his face at the large smile.
"You chose a name for yourself pup?" Cadis gave Gaster a wide smile.
Gaster nodded eagerly to Cadis, wincing slightly as he did so and trying to reign in his enthusiasm but it was difficult. He had a name now, one that he had chosen for himself. It was his and his alone.
The king gave Gaster a warm and tender smile, "I am proud of you my child, Wingdings Gaster."
Gaster couldn't help smiling so wide that it hurt, he wished so much that he could hug the king right now but he resisted. Once he felt better he would give the king the best hug that he could manage.
The king gestured for Cadis to join him on the floor next to the bed, "let us begin." Once Cadis was situated the king went on, "first I will tell you about the different kinds of magic."
Gaster gave a slower nod this time so as not to bother his neck too much.
The king lifted his hand and magical fire appeared in his palm. "Every monster has a basic magic that is unique to their kind, for boss monsters like myself our attacks are fire." The fire dispelled as the king looked up to Gaster, "for you that is bones." The king glanced to Cadis.
"For most dogs it's a bit different, some of us manifest our attacks as barks but many of us need something to help us focus." Cadis pulled a dull looking wooden sword from his belt. "We use weapons to concentrate for better control." Cadis' sword glowed white as he filled it with magic.
Gaster stared at it intently before the light faded.
Cadis gave a sheepish grin before he handed the sword to the king, "most dogs can use cyan magic too, but they usually use white more because it's easier."
The king took the sword, "besides basic attacks there are several kinds of magic that will have similar effects even if they take different forms." The sword glowed cyan, "light blue magic will do you no harm as long as remain still." The light died and after a moment it glowed a bright orange, "orange magic on the other hand must be moved through to prevent it from damaging you."
Gaster lifted his gaze back up to the king's face once the light faded again.
"As I've told you before though, all magic reflects our intent. That is why I am able to make fire that will not burn to touch." The king gave Gaster an intent look, "it is more difficult to control our magic when we are upset or feel threatened. This is what we will need to practice in the future."
Gaster ducked his head slightly as he gave a nod.
The king gave Gaster a reassuring smile, "don't worry young one, every child requires practice to learn how to properly control their magic." The king leaned forward a little, "I will also help you learn how to use your magic without having to hold so much of it at once."
Gaster tilted his head slightly as he gave the king a questioning look.
The king lifted the wooded sword, making it glow orange with magic again but this time the king's eyes glowed orange with it. "You are holding much more of your magic at the ready than you need to, that is why your eyes glow." The king dispersed his magic, "many children do this when they are still learning their magic and I intended to teach you once your health was more stable but with how strong you've grown it cannot wait."
Gaster gave a slow nod to that, he had never really thought about trying to hold less magic at once. He had always been pushed to go as far as his limits would allow, first by the doctor and now by himself. He looked down as he frowned slightly, he could not push himself and hold back at the same time.
"You have yellow magic as well as cyan," Gaster glanced back up as the king spoke. "Have you been able to control it?"
Gaster thought about that for a moment, he had felt that magic only a few times and he had never been able to command it like he could his light blue magic. It had only ever given him strength when he had been desperate for it, even then though it was unreliable at best. He had called on it when he had fought for his life but also when he had needed to get away. And when he had been desperate to prove himself better. He shook his head slightly, he could not use his yellow magic.
The king gave a nod to that, "then Cadis and I will focus on helping you with your cyan magic and general control." Cadis gave a nod as well.
Gaster gave a smile at that, wincing slightly as he shifted to sit more upright again as he had been sliding slowly down the wall.
The king gave him a sympathetic smile, "I think that will do for today my child, we will let you get some more rest now."
After a moment Gaster gave the king a rueful smile and a small nod, as much as he wished to spend time with the king he was definitely starting to feel the pressure on his spine from sitting upright for even the short time that he had.
The king reached forward to gently help Gaster ease back to laying down in the bed, moving the notebook to the side table before tenderly brushing his fingers across the top of Gaster's skull. "Take it easy now my child." After a moment the king leaned down to place a light kiss on Gaster's brow. "Rest well Wingdings."
