Things had officially gone to hell. Short of being dead ourselves, we were in a 'worst case scenario' situation. I glanced towards Rose beside me. She hadn't shifted an inch in the last hour. She also hadn't responded to anyone either. I wondered if she was in Lissa's head. Honestly, I wondered if she was in her own head at this point. She just looked, well, gone.

"How is she?" I asked Sonya, perhaps the only person who could get a literal read on Rose at the moment. She looked towards Rose, squinting slightly as she read the space around her. The expression on Sonya's face made it clear that whatever answer she gave me wouldn't be good.

"She's surviving. The charm is holding, for now at least."

"And when it wears off?"

She didn't answer. Perhaps she didn't want to. Perhaps I didn't want to hear it either.

"We have to do something about the body, " Sonya pointed out. I nodded before she asked, "Any ideas?"

Truthfully, I had no clue. I hadn't really worried about that sort of thing before, even as Strigoi. We didn't have shovels and we couldn't exactly just dump him on the side of the road. A lake or river would be unreliable and could cause issues later down the line. If we were getting Rose acquitted of one murder, it would be best not to have her accused of another one should Victor's body show up.

A sign pointed towards another hiking trail down off the highway, this time towards a waterfall, and I quickly made the turn towards the ramp.

"I have an idea."

Thankfully this hiking trail was just as deserted as the one I had abandoned Victor's brother off of. There wasn't a single car in the small lot connecting to the trail, so I asked Jill to stay with Rose and Sonya to come with me.

We lugged Victor's body a half-mile down towards the end of the trail. "Are we throwing him off the falls?"

We were standing at the base of the waterfall, and that plan would have included a long, hard climb up. "No, we're going to stash him over here." I pointed towards one of the rock formations on the other side of the small creek. Most waterfalls – at least in wood areas like this – seemed to have the same type of landscapes around them. Lots of wet greenery, mossy trees with a few fallen ones where the roots just hasn't been able to hold on anymore, and rocks. Lots and lots of rocks. Not just any rocks. Rocks with outcroppings, deep crevices, and plenty of places to stash something until the wet surroundings decomposed it.

Sonya stayed on the trail to keep a lookout as I pulled Victor's corpse behind me, heaving him through some of the more difficult areas where sharp rocks or deep water pulled at him. That experience alone was enough to convince me that many wouldn't dare to cross the creek. To avoid notice of the more adventurous types, I found a small crevice on the bank under a large boulder and shoved him far underneath. It was already partially obscured by a bush, but I was able to roll a boulder in front of it and a half fallen tree completed the makeshift grave. Any passerby would have to be actively looking for him, and even then he'd probably escape notice.

I confirmed that my makeshift 'burial' wasn't visible from the trail before rushing back with Sonya. Rose still appeared fairly comatose when we arrived back. I wasn't sure if she even realized we had left. That worried me more than the fact that I had just hidden the body of a dead man.

"We need to get as far away as we can from here, " I said, speaking to nobody in particular but keeping my eyes on Rose. We also needed to get somewhere where she could rest or...something. Anything to come back to me. I needed her to come back to me.

BREAK

After a few hours of driving, it seemed safe enough to stop. Even if it wasn't, I was willing to take the small calculated risk. Rose hadn't spoken in far too long. She had just stared blankly out the window, completely unaware of anyone and anything around her.

Thankfully, she seemed to liven up a little as we pulled up to a small hotel.

"What's going on?" Rose's voice sounded tired.

I slipped into one of the parking spots and threw the car into park. "We're stopping. You need to rest."

"No, I don't." Rose insisted, but there was hardly any life in the demand. "We need to keep going to Court. We need to get Jill there in time for the elections."

I gave her a hard look over my shoulder at her weak protest. "You were just with Lissa. Are the elections actually happening yet?

"No."

"Then you're getting some rest."

"I'm fine." There was a bite in her tone, but it seemed like any actual fight in her had been smothered. I didn't have to drag her out of the car or continually plead for her to see reason. She just followed behind me, mostly silent, until we made it to the rooms Sonya managed to secure for us.

I paused outside the first room and gestured for Sonya to continue down the way without us. "Let me talk to her alone." When Sonya glanced at Rose warily, I continued, "I can handle it."

"Be careful," she cautioned. Her concern didn't seem to be so much about Rose's potential for mass destruction as it did for the possibility of Rose's personal demise. "She's fragile."

"You guys, I'm right here!" Rose's sudden outburst made us all flinch, but poor Jill looked terrified. We were all on edge, but that girl had born more than any one of us would have asked of her. She had performed admirably under the pressure, but it was clear to see that things were catching up to her. It was understandable; her world had been thrown into disarray with the sudden news of her parentage, she had been kidnapped and compelled, then she had witnessed the death of her captor, and now she was watching Rose slowly crumbling under the weight of spirit and the darkness that it had wrought against her. It was a lot to take.

With a gentle guiding arm, Sonya led Jill past us and into the next room. "Come on, let's order room service."

I slid the key card into our door's lock and looked at Rose expectantly. She stood her ground for just a moment, long enough to make sure I knew that she wasn't doing this willingly, and then walked past me with a sigh. Crawling up onto the bed, she crossed her legs and brought her arms around her body, slowly collapsing in on herself. She stared firmly at the ground as she asked, "Can we order room service?"

I was used to stubborn Rose, but the stubborn Rose I was used to fought back with fire and sarcasm. I wasn't used to a Rose who looked like ash and resignation. "We need to talk about Victor."

She drew in tighter at his name. "There's nothing to talk about."

Her eyes drifted, looking past me into something I knew she didn't want to see. She shut her eyes against the vision, but I knew from personal experience that all that did was make the images more clear. Her blank face twisting up in anguish was sad confirmation. Swallowing back a shuddering breath and with trembling lips, she whispered, "I really am the murderer everyone says I am. It doesn't matter that it was Victor. I killed him in cold blood."

I reached out for her hand but she pulled back from my touch. Undeterred, I pressed forward and told her, "That was hardly cold blood."

"The hell it wasn't!" A sob broke past her self-imposed barrier as she finally looked at me. "The plan was to subdue him and Robert so we could free Jill. Subdue. Victor wasn't a threat to me. He was an old man, for God's sake."

"He seemed like a threat," I insisted gently. My thoughts flashed to the horrible things that Robert had planted in my mind. Victor might not have been a spirit user, but being an 'old man' hardly meant that he wasn't a threat to her. "He was using his magic."

Her face fell to her hands and she shook. "It wasn't going to kill me. He probably couldn't have even kept it up much longer. I could have waited it out or escaped. Hell, I did escape! But instead of capturing him, I slammed him against a concrete wall! He was no match for me. An old man. I killed an old man. Yeah, maybe he was a scheming, corrupt old man, but I didn't want him dead. I wanted him locked up again. I wanted him to spend the rest of his life in prison, living with his crimes. Living, Dimitri." She was silent for a moment, but when she glanced up, it was with a heartbreakingly sad look. "There was no honor in what I did to him."

There was nothing I could do to fix this for her, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to try. "Sonya said it wasn't your fault. She said it was a backlash of spirit."

"It was…" she agreed, obviously not finding the excuse sufficient. "I never really understood what Lissa experienced in her worst moments until then. I just looked at Victor...and I saw everything evil in the world – an evil I had to stop. He was bad, but he didn't deserve that. He never stood a chance."

Her eyes clouded over with guilt again and I had to hold myself back from taking her in my arms and shaking her until she saw reason.

"You aren't listening, Rose." I could hear a bit of my own temper rising, not in anger against her but in frustration towards myself. I wanted to make this okay. I wanted her to be okay. "It wasn't your fault. Spirit's a powerful magic we barely understand. And its dark edge...well, we know it's capable of terrible things. Things that can't be controlled."

"I should have been stronger than it." Her assertion came quickly, but as soon as the words were out, it seemed to resonate deep inside her. "I should have been stronger than it," she repeated. "I was weak."

Rose wasn't weak. How she, or anyone else for that matter, could ever think so was beyond me. She was one of the strongest people I had ever known. Every person faces their own set of trials, but it's how they come out on the other side – the way that they keep going – that defines them. Rose always moved forward. She put others before herself, even when it hurt her to do so. She sought the things that were hard, even impossible, and made them a reality. She didn't give up on others, so why was she giving up on herself?

"You aren't invincible," I said gently. "No one expects you to be."

"I do. What I did…" She looked up, blinking some tears from her eyes and swallowing hard before looking at me again. "What I did was unforgivable."

I was taken aback. "That...That's crazy, Rose. You can't punish yourself for something you had no power over."

She laughed humorlessly. "Yeah? Then why are you still –" She paused and looked at me curiously, even tilting her head as if it would somehow give her a better read on me. "When? When did it change? When did you realize you could keep living – even after all that guilt?"

"I'm not sure." I shrugged, wishing I could give her some definite turning point. "In bits, really. When Lissa and Abe first came to me about breaking you out, I was ready to do it because she asked me to. Then, the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was personal too. I couldn't stand the thought of you locked in a cell, being cut off from the world. It wasn't right. No one should live like that, and it occurred to me that I was doing the same – by choice. I was cutting myself off from the world with guilt and self-punishment. I had a second chance to live and I was throwing it away."

At last, there seemed to be some spark in her again. Her body relaxed a little and she leaned towards me as I tried to recount how things had finally shifted. There was a small part of me that recognized just how much I needed to tell her all this, not just for her sake, but for my sake too.

"You heard me talk about this before," I continued, already feeling a bit lighter. "About my goal to appreciate life's little details. And the more we continued on our journey, the more I remembered who I was. Not just a fighter. Fighting is easy. It's why we fight that matters, and in the alley that night with Donovan…that was the moment I could have crossed over into someone who fights just to senselessly kill." I looked at her meaningfully, not reaching out even though I desperately wanted to. "But you pulled me back, Rose. That was the turning point. You saved me...just as Lissa saved me with the stake. I knew then that in order to leave the Strigoi part of me behind, I had to fight through to be what they aren't. I had to embrace what they reject: beauty, love, honor."

Rose was biting back a smile as I finished. Pride, relief, joy...they were all there. And then they were gone again. "Then you should understand. You just said it: honor. It matters. We both know it does. I've lost mine. I lost it out there in the parking lot when I killed an innocent."

"And I've killed hundreds," I bit back. "People much more innocent than Victor Dashkov."

"It's not the same! You couldn't help it!" She clawed at her hair with a growl. "Why are we repeating the same things over and over?"

"Because they aren't sinking in! You couldn't help it either." I threw my hands up. "Feel guilty. Mourn this. But move on. Don't let it destroy you. Forgive yourself."

She sprang up to her feet and had me boxed into my chair with a hand on each armrest before I could react. I didn't back down, however. Face to face, she narrowed her eyes at me. "Forgive myself? That's what you want? You of all people?"

I could hardly breathe, much less speak, with her that close to me. I gave a sharp nod instead.

"Then tell me this," she bit out. "You say you moved past the guilt, decided to revel in life and all that. I get it. But have you, in your heart, really forgiven yourself? I told you a long time ago that I forgave you for everything in Siberia, but what about you? Have you done it?"

"I just said –"

"No. It's not the same. You're telling me to forgive myself and move on. But you won't do it yourself." She backed off a little and my mind cleared. "You're a hypocrite, Comrade. We're either both guilty or both innocent. Pick."

"It's not that simple." I rose up to my full height in front of her, but she was long past being intimidated by me in any way.

"It is that simple. We're the same! Even Sonya says we are. We've always been the same and we're both acting the same stupid way now. We hold ourselves up to a higher standard than everyone else around us."

"I – Sonya?" Her name brought me up short. "What does she have to do with any of this?"

Rose shrugged, shaking her head and looking vaguely annoyed with herself. She brushed off my question easily. "She said our auras match. She said we light up around each other. She says it means you still love me and that we're in sync, and…" She turned away towards the window and waved her hand dismissively. "I don't know. I shouldn't have mentioned it. We shouldn't buy into this aura stuff when it comes from magic users who are already half-insane."

It would have been easy to dismiss Sonya's claims, too. Just a little lie. All I had to do was deny it and say that Sonya had somehow been mistaken, that I didn't love her and this morning had been some sort of misunderstanding. I was tired of lying, though. And hearing Rose dismiss those claims was even worse. Granted, with how much I had forced the issue and denying over and over again that there was nothing between us, it shouldn't have been surprising at all. Maybe it was only surprising because now that I knew I loved her – that I still loved her – not loving her seemed unimaginable.

I heard Rose's quiet and unintelligible murmurs from where she had her head pressed against the glass of the window. Whatever she was thinking so hard about, it seemed to weigh down heavily on her. I wanted to go to her, hold her, and try to bear some of the burden, but I could almost feel the wall she was placing around herself, shutting out me along with the rest of the world.

I settled on just trying to support her from afar. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying...I forgive myself." Her shoulders rolled back with determination, and while I couldn't see it on her face, I could hear the resolution in her voice. "That doesn't make everything perfect, but it's a start. Who knows? Maybe that outburst in the parking lot let out some of the darkness Sonya says is in my aura. Skeptic that I am, I have to give her some points. She was right that I was at a breaking point; that all I needed was a spark."

And I hadn't protected her. Sonya had warned me, too, but I had done nothing to try to keep those shadows from overtaking her. I knew how much they could affect her. I had seen it. I had nearly lost her to them the last time and now she would be weighed down forever with the guilt of what that darkness had done.

Except she wouldn't, would she…because she had forgiven herself.

It wasn't that easy. It couldn't be. It was impossible to just shed that guilt of someone else's blood on your hands. Right?

But Rose had somehow done it. Maybe not completely, but...you could see it.

And if she could do something so impossible, maybe I could be brave too. Maybe I could tell her the truth.

I took a deep breath, building my resolve. "She was right about something else, too."

Rose tilted her ear towards me in curiosity. "What's that?"

"That I do still love you."

I couldn't breathe as Rose slowly turned to face me. She looked shocked, but I couldn't tell anything beyond that. Not if she was happy, or angry, or...anything. Just shocked. "Since...since when?"

"Since...forever." It was torture not knowing what she was thinking, but I was too deep into this to back out now. Plus, it was time to tell her. I needed to tell her. I needed to stop lying to her and to myself. "I denied it when I was restored. I had no room for anything in my heart except guilt. I especially felt guilty about you – what I'd done – and I pushed you away. I put up a wall to keep you safe. It worked for a while – until my heart finally started accepting other emotions. And it all came back. Everything I felt for you. It had never left; it was just hidden from me until I was ready. And again...that alley was the turning point. I looked at you...saw your goodness, your hope, and your faith. Those are what make you beautiful." I smiled, offering her my last bit of hope. "So, so beautiful."

"So, it wasn't my hair." She laughed nervously, but I saw a bit of a smile in the crook of her lips.

"No. Your hair was beautiful too." I mirrored her smile. It gave me strength. "All of you. You were amazing when we first met, and somehow, inexplicably, you've come even farther. You've always been pure, raw energy, and now you control it. You're the most amazing woman I have ever met, and I'm glad to have had that love for you in my life. I regret losing it." I had been so stupid. If only I had come to my senses earlier. "I would give anything – anything – in the world to go back and change history. To run into your arms after Lissa brought me back. To have a life with you. It's too late, of course, but I've accepted it."

"Why...why is it too late?"

"Because of Adrian. Because you moved on." My stomach twisted. I couldn't be mad at him, not when his only crime was falling for the same woman I had but being smart enough to appreciate it. When Rose moved to comfort me, I brushed it away. "No, listen. You were right to do that after how I treated you. And more than anything else, I want you to be happy once we clear your name and get Jill recognized. You said yourself that Adrian makes you happy. You said you love him."

She shook her head like she was trying to find some missing piece to our puzzle...one that had been lost a long time ago. "But…you just said you love me. That you want to be with me."

"And I told you: I'm not going to pursue another man's girlfriend. You want honor? There it is in its purest form."

Rose took a step towards me. And then another. With every step I felt something build inside me. Fear? Excitement? I wasn't sure. I was torn between telling her to stay back and stepping closer myself. When she was only a foot away, she reached out to me. I caught her hand as she rested it on my chest, but rather than pushing it away, I held it close, craving her touch even though I shouldn't.

"You should have told me. You should have told me this a long time ago." She looked at my fingers interlocked with hers and then met my eyes. "I love you. I've never stopped loving you. You have to know that."

My heart broke. I wanted to hear those words so badly – so, so badly – but I couldn't stand hearing them and knowing that they changed absolutely nothing. "It wouldn't have made any difference. Not with Adrian involved. I mean it. I won't be that guy, Rose. I won't be that many who takes someone else's woman. Now, please. Let go. Don't make this any more difficult." Even as I begged her to walk away, I tightened my hand on her, unable to let go myself.

"I don't belong to him." Rose moved closer, close enough so that her body was brushing mine. "I don't belong to anyone. I make my own choices."

"And you're with Adrian." I tried to reason with her as much as myself.

"But I was meant for you."

It was the last turn of the key in the lock. The last thread of a fraying rope. The final crack that broke the dam restraining every last emotion I had been holding back — both from her and from myself.

She reached up to me, but I was already there, meeting her lips in the same desperate kiss that I had wanted to give her the moment I had woken up. No hesitation. No pulling away. No more doubts.

Just me and Rose and this kiss.

With her arms circled around my neck, I slid my hands down her back until I found purchase under her legs and hiked her up my body. The little yelp she gave as I lifted her was just what I needed to dive even deeper into her and taste what I had been missing for so long. Her legs locked around my waist, chest pressed against my own as she moaned into our kiss. The tantalizing sound electrified me head to toe, sending shocks to every single part of my body.

I stepped backwards blindly, searching out the bed until I finally felt the edge against my knees and fell back, clutching Rose even tighter to me. With her legs straddling my lap, we became a mess of heat and hands, legs and lips and lust.

My hands wandered every single inch of her, from the base of her neck, all the way down her spine and to the curve of her hips. Every time I slid low, she rocked into me until I became hooked on the sensation, chasing the high of her body against mine even when it began to drive me mad. I could feel the warmth of her through the tattered dress and, hopefully, she could feel just how much I wanted her with every fiber of my being...both emotional and physical. Very physical.

We were passion in its truest form. Carnal. Visceral. Tenderness was hidden somewhere in there, too, but it was eclipsed by the need to make up for lost time. Caught up in the same crazed fervor I was, Rose's hands tugged roughly at my hair. The feel of her teeth scraping against my lip as she bit down was enough to send a painfully pleasured groan through my body.

"Off," she demanded, pulling at my shirt between nips.

I compiled without argument, pulling back just enough to tear my shirt over my head and throw it behind her. Her nails raked against my skin possessively, marking me as hers. I didn't mind in the least. I was already hers, I always was, and I welcomed any and every brand she offered me to prove it. She could tattoo her name across my heart and I'd wear it proudly. It belonged to her.

Eventually, I did push her back a little. As much as I was hers, I wanted to make her mine as well. And not with blood and bites, or threats and terror. I wanted to ask for all of her, and offer everything I had in return.

Her breath fell heavily as I brushed the familiar, stubborn lock of hair behind her ear. Rose seemed a bit stunned by the simple gesture that had been a hallmark of our early relationship. We had both wanted so much back then but thought it was out of our reach. There were so many reasons for us to push one another way that we had ignored the one thing that surpassed them all – that we loved each other. It was with a self-deprecating smile that I realized I had fallen into the same trap again. I had created a wall of excuses as to why I shouldn't or couldn't be with her in some vain attempt to stave off the pain that loving her might have caused me. It would have been useless, I realized. I would have loved her regardless. It was only in not recognizing my love for her that I had caused myself pain, because loving her was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

I ran my fingers further through the thick strands, already mussed from our excitement, and let it all fall behind her shoulder as I traced my hand down her neck. My thumb hesitated when it brushed against her scars. Maybe this was all a mistake. I couldn't...nothing could change what I had done to her. She might say she forgave me, but what would happen the day she realized that even though I might not be that thing, I would always be a reminder of him and that time. Worse, what if she realized that a grain of that creature was taken from who I was, and that that creature was still in there somewhere, feeding on the same parts of me that created it and….

Her hand came to cup mine, pressing my palm against the causes of my anxiety and hiding them in the same fluid motion. My eyes snapped to her's and rather than seeing the disgust my mind assumed would be there, I found understanding. Love. I could feel her pulse beating against me, but instead of the hunger it once incited, it became a reminder of the life and love between us. No more excuses, I had to remind myself. Just love.

I'm sorry, I mouthed to her silently.

She smiled and shook her head, not rejecting my apology, but rejecting the notion that it was needed in the first place. It was both humbling and empowering. I wasn't quite ready to face my demons yet, not fully, but I was ready to accept her love. Right now, that was enough.

She turned her cheek, kissing my palm and then guiding it lower down her body, encouraging my further exploration. I pulled aside the strap at her shoulder and kissed the uncovered skin reverently. Every inch of her skin was a gift, and I intended to savor it, bit by bit. Rose wasn't the patient sort, though. She arched into me while my hands continued down, demanding more and whimpering when I held pleasure and relief just out of her reach. She finally let out a frustrated growl, but it quickly slipped into a sigh as I finally worked my way underneath the skirt of her dress, still bunched up around her thighs as she worked herself on my lap, and began to move it up and off her body.

As soon as I had her rid of the shredded cloth, I had us flipped onto the bed with her pinned beneath me, lips pressed under mine as I palmed her breasts through her bra and jutted my hips between her legs. I wanted her to feel just how much I wanted her. I wanted her to know just how much I missed and needed her. She gasped as I charged forward and I knew I needed more. I'd always need more of Rose in my life.

I stood and hooked my fingers in the waistband of her white cotton underwear, sliding it down her legs. She slipped her hands behind her back to release the band on her bra as I fought with the button on my jeans. The moment I was free she tossed aside the last remaining fabric covering her and I let out a pained groan at the sight.

It wasn't the first time I had seen Rose so beautifully laid out before me. It wasn't the second, or third, or fourth time either. But it was the first time since the cabin that I was truly seeing Rose with my own eyes again. There was no lens of selfish monstrosity tinting my vision as I looked at her. I knew that what I felt for the woman in front of me wasn't fueled by mere animalistic lust, but by desire and love. I wanted Rose, not as something to control, but as someone to hold forever.

She laid back in sly modesty, sitting up on her elbows but with her legs crossed demurely in front of her. Gently, I pried one leg apart and raised it up to kiss her ankle as my hand danced down the inside of her leg, slowly moving from her calf all the way down to the soft skin of her inner thigh. Her chest rose and fell a little faster with every inch. Both of us seemed to be locked in a trance, staring at one another in a deadlocked daze, waiting for the other to break first. With my fingertips taunting her a breath away from where I knew she wanted me most, she shot up, wrapped her arm around the back of my neck, and pulled me on top of her.

My kiss was hard and bruising, but only lasted a moment before I felt the need to taste every other inch of her. My lips meandered to her cheek, drawing up to her ear and down her jaw. I dipped low to lavish little kisses across her shoulder and collar. I licked at her breast and sucked at her nipple until it peaked. I let my hand slip down her body, delighting in the little whimper my touch drew from her as she anticipated what was to come. When my finger brushed her clit, her breath hitched and she bucked up into my hand. I couldn't help but laugh at her reaction and I caught a little glare from her for my impertinence. I offered some relief a moment later, slipping a finger inside of her warm body and giving into the deep moan it elicited from us both.

Her fingers bit into my arms as she squirmed underneath me, silently begging for every little slice of pleasure I was willing to offer her. One finger became two. The more she held onto me, the more she tried to fight off the pleasure that quickly mounting, the more I began to crave the moment she'd let go. I could feel her breath hot and fast against my cheek, and every little noise she made as her body grew tighter around my hand only served to turn me on further. The way she said my name, somehow pleaing and sighing at the same time, was completely entrancing. Those little noises would be the death of me.

And then finally, it happened. All it took was one final brush of my thumb across that little bundle of nerves to push her off that cliff. I was there to catch her, holding her in my arms in a way that I thought would be impossible this morning but knew I'd never take for granted ever again for the rest of my life.

She looked so beautiful, but before I could tell her so, Rose put a hand to my shoulder and flipped me to my back, straddling my hips and taking me in her hand. The glint in her eye promised payback for my torture and had me torn between begging for mercy and begging for her to do her worst. A single stroke from her was almost enough to do me in, though, and she knew it. With a tug at her lip and a mischievous glint in her eye, the phrase 'got you in the palm of my hand,' had been permanently altered for me. I'd do absolutely anything for her.

She leaned down, hovering over me as she kissed one more time, slow and deep, before raising up and gently positioned me at the breach of her. With one hand on her bare thigh and the other on her waist, I watched as she lowered herself on me and we finally came together. It wasn't just like coming home again...it was like coming alive again.

Fully seated inside her, I held her in place. I needed a moment just to...feel. I had been living, but I hadn't been alive without her. Not fully, at least. Rose might not have been the one to restore my soul – though, admittedly, she had done everything she could have possibly done to make that happen – but she had done something so much more important. She had given me back my life.

She was my life. My reason for living. She gave my soul purpose and my world meaning.

Rose was my everything.

Her hand brushed my cheek, trailing along my jaw and the stubble that had grown there after losing my jacket, my bag, and the razor that had kept me in check. The sight seemed to amuse her a little, enough that I considered if a new look was in order just to keep that smile on her face, but then her eyes softened into something that made me utterly breathless.

Drifting downwards, her palm came to rest over the scar in the center of my chest and my heart that beat right underneath it. I placed my hand right over hers, holding it tight in an attempt to say what my voice couldn't.

Yours. It belongs to you.

She rocked her hips forward and I choked out a groan, eyes rolling back as my head pressed into the pillow. I had almost forgotten what it had felt like to be with her like this. I had almost forgotten just how amazing it felt to be inside her. How that was possible was beyond me, but feeling this physical connection once more was like being in that cabin again. I knew Rose. She was the person who knew me better than anyone ever had or ever cared to. But I had discovered a new aspect of her, of us, that night. I was rediscovering it now.

Maybe that's what was different. I wasn't rediscovering the Rose who I had held and guided through our first time together. Now, Rose was taking control. I relished in the way she moved, her body strong and powerful above me. My hands wandered without restraint, dancing over every graceful curve of her. I cupped one breast in my hand and let my thumb brush over her nipple, shuddering as the simple action made her grind down hard on me and moan. A pinch and her body tightened around me. On and on it went; I'd discover a new little part of her and she'd give me a new reaction. Eventually, I was choosing our torture.

She caught on to my little trick quickly. In a bolt of speed that surprised even me, she had my hands pinned above my head. Any protests I would have made were silenced before I could even consider them when her lips crashed down against mine. I could have easily thrown her off of me, but every time I shifted her hands tightened around my wrists.

It was incredibly sexy to see her so assured of herself like this, and I was secure enough in my masculinity to admit that there was a small thrill to being at her mercy. Mine and Rose's relationship had always had an element of combat built into it and while the thought of pinning her down was appealing – incredibly appealing, in fact – I didn't mind being under her control either.

Her fingers slipped into mine and for a moment, we stayed just like that – tied together intimately between our hands, lips, and slow thrust of my body into hers as she danced above me. Eventually, she pulled away, biting her lip and smiling.

"Got ya," she with the bare hint of a laugh.

I brushed a swift kiss along her cheek before replying earnestly, "Yeah. You got me. I'm yours."

Her eyes lit up at the gentle vow. "I…"

I pulled one hand out of her grasp and gently pulled her face down to mine, kissing her with as much passion, devotion, and honesty I possibly could. I only let her go long enough to whisper in her ear, "Я люблю тебя всем своим сердцем и душой и обещаю быть с тобой всегда, Роза."

Her breath shuddered. There was no reason for Rose to understand the words I had just uttered. Even with her time in Russia, her language skills were still rudimentary at best. But she didn't need to know exactly what I had said to understand what I had meant by saying them. She didn't need to know the words for 'heart' and 'soul' to know that I had just promised both to her. She didn't need to know the word for 'always' to know that that was how long I intended to be with her and love her.

With perfect understanding, she replied, "I love you, too."

Our words ended after that. Anything else that needed to be said was spoken with our hearts and our bodies. The only thing that spilled from my mouth was her name as a grateful chant to whatever God granted me enough grace to be in her arms. I knew I'd never truly be worthy of her. She was better than me by far, but loving her gave me something to aspire to. I wanted to be the man she deserved.

Soon, Rose's cries started building, gradually getting faster with every wave her body made above me and louder as she started to tighten around me. I could feel the tipping point coming for us both and I used my hands on her hips to guide her movements when her pleasure started driving them into erratic paces. Finally, her head fell back with one last cry of my name and a shudder that broke me moments later. With one last press of my body into hers, I gave her everything I had and then caught her as she collapsed onto my chest.

Time seemed to slow a little after that. Our heavy pants began to fade into the more lazy breaths of satisfaction. I took my time tracing the gentle ridges of her spine and twisting bits of hair around my finger while she hummed in contentment.

"I'm glad you gave in. I'm glad your self-control isn't as strong as mine." She nuzzled against my shoulder.

I laughed. "Roza, my self-control is ten times stronger than yours."

She crossed her arms, propped her chin up on my chest and grinned. That smile lit up my world. "Oh yeah? That's not the impression I just got."

Dragging a finger across her cheek, I gently enticed her closer towards me for a kiss. At the last moment, I diverted, brushing my lips against her ear instead. "Wait until next time. I'll do things that'll make you lose control in seconds." I was already imagining myself between her legs, tasting her fully and watching her come apart under my tongue.

As if she could see directly into my fantasy, she squirmed against my body. I was tempted to put my promise to the test right then and there, but suddenly the air changed. She shifted off of my chest, slipping next to me and tucking herself under my arm. Despite the physical closeness, I could feel a chill set in between us. "There may not be a next time."

I froze. "What? Why?"

"We have a couple of things to do before this happens again."

"Adrian." A wave of guilt fell over me.

"And that's my problem, so put your honorable thoughts aside. I have to face him and answer for this. I will. And you…" Her fingers traced an ambiguous shape on my chest. "You have to forgive yourself if we're going to be together."

"Rose –"

"I'm serious." With how she was looking at me, there was no question that fact. "You have to forgive yourself. For real. Everyone else has. If you can't, then you can't go on either. We can't."

"I don't know." What she was asking of me was immense. I was still unsure of how she had made peace, or at least started to make peace, with Victor's death. And Victor had actually been a horrible person who was actively attacking her and hurting others. What I had done as Strigoi...what I had done to Rose as Strigoi? It didn't compare in my mind. "I don't know if I can...if I'm ready."

She nodded, understanding my worry even if she wasn't pleased with my answer. "Decide soon then. You don't have to right this second, but eventually…"

I rolled, facing her nose to nose for a moment before pulling her deep into my embrace. I didn't want to lose her. I couldn't lose her. But I didn't know how to do what she asked either. It wasn't as easy as just flipping a switch and deciding that I was okay with what I had done back in Siberia. But if it meant never holding her again?

Whatever it took, I knew I had to try.


Author's Note


WHOOT! I have been waiting to write this scene for a long time, and I know you guys have been waiting to read it for a long time too. I hope I was able to do it justice and made all your hearts flutter with Romitri adoration. Please let me know what you think in the reviews; they really make my day! I've also left a few little callbacks to other parts of their relationship in this scene, so props to you if you can find them.

The question of the Week is...honestly no clue. I'm still a bit lovestruck between these two! Let's go with favorite OTP/couple outside Romitri (doesn't have to be VA universe.) Personally, I'm a huge fan of Everlark (Katniss and Peeta) from The Hunger Games.

Thank you again for reading. Please share the love far and wide! Like, review, follow and fav! I hope to see you on the Facebook fan page too! PS, my facebook page fans got a sneak peek of this chapter!