Christmas Freak Out - DICK


He's sitting on the balcony with Ronnie. The soft sounds of Mac and Logan in the kitchen drifting out and mixing with the crash of waves.

He's been with Mac for a couple of weeks now and everything's been pretty great. He never would have thought that he'd like just having her body in the bed next to him, no sex, just the smell and feel and weight of her, this ridiculously comforting thing.

Ronnie had pulled him aside the morning after Thanksgiving. I know that you're going to be good to her, I just feel like the universe would be out of balance if I didn't tell you that you would meet a very uncomfortable end if you hurt her, she had finished her threat with a smile and a pat on the back.

He wasn't even worried about fucking it up because being with her just felt like the natural order of things. Her company had this warmth to it.

"So what are you going to get her for Christmas?" Ronnie asks, completely catching him off guard.

"What?"

"It's almost Christmas. You've thought about it, right?"

His eyes are wide and he can feel something closing around his heart and lungs.

Oh God.

Christmas. He hasn't thought about it at all. Not even when he had helped Logan put up the Christmas lights.

He's breathing too fast.

Oh God.

Oh God.

"Oh God." He looks at the blond with a desperation he's not even all that ashamed of.

She puts her hands up, "It'll be okay, Dick. There's lots of time."

She's humoring him, there's no time!

He's going to fuck this up and she'll break up with him, and all the 'good person' crap inside him will just die.

He looks into the house were Logan and Mac are having a serious conversation and he doesn't know what to do!

"What am I going to do?!" He asks her, but Veronica is going to be no help at all? She and Mac aren't alike enough, Veronica likes spy gadgets, sparkly unicorns, and grand gestures.

Mac likes...

Oh my god what the hell does his girlfriend like!?

He's having a panic attack because he's fairly certain that he doesn't know her at all! She's going to realize that and think all this was about getting in bed with her!

Oh God.

Oh God.

Oh God.

"What's the matter?" Mac's voice cuts through the panic. He looks up at her and she's standing there holding a beer for him and looking concerned.

He could probably just ask her.

"Nothing." He smiles softly at her and tries to take his beer. She pulls it out of his reach, "What?"

"What's the magic word?"

He looks at her for a long moment and then at Logan and Veronica before he looks up at her, "Algorithm?"

Her face flushes beautifully, her mouth opening and shutting a few times before she hands him the beer silently and sits down next to him.

"Did I get it wrong?" He asks in a whisper.

"Magic not safe." She returns and he knows he'll say it wrong for the rest of his life if it means she'll flush like that.

As she pulls her sneakers up onto the bench seat and stares out at the ocean, he just knows that he has to find the perfect first Christmas gift for her. Not so much because he's worried that if he doesn't she'll leave him, but because he loves her; which isn't nearly as frightening as he thought it'd be. In fact, it's this kind of anchor, a heavy, calm feeling he's growing more and more sure he'd have a hard time living without.

He slides his fingers through hers and she looks at him, soft and beautiful and confused.

He kisses her, he can freak out about Christmas gifts later.

Everything will be fine.


It's not fine.

Oh my God, it's so not fine.

It's the furthest thing from fine ever.

"What the hell am I going to get her?" He practically begs Veronica.

He's not sure how they ended up shopping together again, but he's pushing the cart and racking his brain.

He's coming up with a constant blank. What does that mean? Does he not care for her like he thinks he does!?

He loves her, right?

Right, but if he loved her shouldn't this be easy?

"I don't know, Dick. I got her that new computer component she wants. Logan and I went in on it with some vegan chocolate."

"God, that's good." His body slouches until his head comes into contact with the shopping cart handle, "this is the problem with having a proper girlfriend..."

"Oh?" Veronica asks. He can just see her legs through the wire of the cart be he knows she's laughing at him, can feel it in the word. It was too lilty, but he answers her anyway.

"Yeah. You buy a slut something sparkly and they gush about how great you are and you get head."

"Dick!" She makes a choking noise, serves her right for laughing at him anyway.

"It's true." He looks up at her as she tries to busy herself with the back of a box of Count Chocula, "If I get Mac something sparkly and 'expensive'," He uses finger quotes on the word because, honestly, he wouldn't really think it was expensive unless escrow was involved, and he's pretty sure buying her a house, or a chalet, or something is going to come off a little desperate, "I'm not going to get head. I'm going to get how much did this cost you? I can't accept this and then Christmas is wrecked."

He really wants to get this right. To prove to them all that he can actually do this. That he can be a proper boyfriend. Madi had always made it easy. She'd give him a list.

Could he ask for a list? Would that be cheating?

Gah!

"It'll be fine, Dick." Veronica tells him, setting the chocolate cereal into the cart, "Mac likes you," there's a pause like she's leaving out an insult and he's not sure if that's better or worse, nope its totally worse, "she'll like whatever you get her because it's the first gift you'd given her."

"What's the first present Duncan ever got you?

If what she said is true she'll remember, even though it was like a million years ago.

A soft smile crossed her face, "He got me a pony."

"What?" Dick stood up to push the cart around the corner, following her, "No way, Donut got you a fucking pony?

"Yep," she smiles, "Tugboat." Her voice gets all dreamy, she looks back at him and must notice how freaked out he is, "It's a 'My Little Pony'. It's in a box in my Dad's storage unit." There's a soft smile across her face, "I asked if it was a pony and he said yes. I thought he was making a joke. It was great." She starts own the aisle, "Just think about something you and Mac have in common, that you can maybe do together, or some in joke you have." She shrugs and he knows that the free advice portion of this outing is over.


Mac is stuffing shopping bags and wrapping paper under the bed when he finds her.

Of course she's already gotten him a present. It's probably fucking perfect, too.

He flops onto the bed and is pleased when she places herself squarely on his hips.

"Hey..." She smiles at him nervously and it makes him worried.

"Hey?"

"So... You know Christmas..."

"I'm familiar with the concept, yes."

"And you know my parents..."

"Yeah..."

"They want us to stay the night Christmas Eve and spend Christmas with them. We totally don't have to if you want to do something else, or you know, not spend like twenty four hours with my family, because well, they aren't your family and-"

He puts his hand over her mouth, "Sure. I like your family."

The nervous tension seems to slip from her and she licks his palm.

He removes it quickly, wiping her saliva off on her jeans with a laugh. She bends forward until she's folded in half over him, her ear over his heart. He runs his fingers through her hair, it's as soft and magical as it had been the first time he had touched it.

She had frozen under his fingertips at the mention of that ballet prima donna. The way she had looked at him when he left the room had stirred something up inside him and he knew now that it had been the spark of love or something equally mushy.

He wondered if she had ever been to the ballet before.

She would love it.

He sat up quickly, taking Mac with him.

Jesus Christ, he knew what to get her for Christmas!

"What's the matter?" She asks, eyes wide, sweeping over him searching for some sort of physical cause.

"Nothing's the matter." He kisses her softly and she sinks into his lap, her arms wrapping around his neck.

He shifts until she's lying under him, "You are the best thing I've ever seen." He whispers against her skin. She's wearing his sweatshirt and jeans, and her hair is a mess, but she's beautiful all the time.

"You're not too bad yourself." She returns, sliding her hands up his shirt, pulling it up and off and tossing it across the room.

He pulls her jeans off and tosses them away as well. She makes to pull the sweater off too, but he covers her hands with his, "Leave it on."

She laughs a little, but complies. Maybe she understands how much he loves her in that sweater; with his name written on her like she belonged to him when the whole world knew it was the other way around.

He belonged with her, he belonged to her, and he never wanted that to change.