Disclaimer: I own the... alien... demon... things? Nothing else, though.


It was imperceptible to most, but Gunn could tell: the tide of the battle was turning. It wouldn't be long before he and the others succeeded in vanquishing the weird lizardy alienish all-too-powerful something-or-others from across time, space and the 13th dimension from the Earth.

Of course to Gunn, all creatures that he fought with Angel Investigations that weren't actually vampires were considered, in the back of his mind, weird lizardy alienish all-too-powerful something-or-others from across time, space and the 13th dimension. No matter how remotely they resembled lizards.

"Oh my god," Cordelia scoffed, ducking for cover, "is that seriously a ray gun? These people are very sad."

In this case, however, the default description was remarkably apt.

There were few things that tested how much you trusted your Seer more than when she insisted, quite vehemently, that tomorrow there was going to be an alien invasion in Redondo Beach. But that was the blessing and the curse of fighting the occult in L.A.: you had to expect anything, because even the most outlandish could be explained away by movie shoots and publicity stunts. And the fewer people who noticed things were more para than normal… well, the more daring the Forces of Evil became.

Gunn wasn't sure if they were aliens that were masquerading as demons, demons that looked like aliens, or people who had been so sad and desperate for power that they'd ended up looking like demony aliens. He didn't much care which was true. The thing that mattered was that they had the tech to go with the look, and someone—three guesses who, first two don't count, he thought, Lilah Morgan's smirking face floating behind his eyes—had given them financial backing.

They'd find out soon enough. The tide was turning, after all. He whipped out his walkie talkie.

"Unit One? This is Unit Two. Where you at?"

"In position," Wesley responded. "Fred and I are still trying to determine what kind of cannon this is."

"You mean aside from a really big one?" Cordy asked.

Gunn shot her a look. "Do you really have to know what kind it is in order to, y'know. Blow it up or whatever?"

"Well we're trying to avoid that scenario," Fred explained, "because it blowin' up kind of ensures our blowin' up, and I'd really rather that not happen."

"Agreed," Gunn said, grinning in spite of himself.

"So we're trying to disarm it, but that requires understanding it," Wesley finished. "Unfortunately, applying two human minds—however brilliant—to what is clearly alien technology is… well. Rather like trying to pick a lock with a wet noodle."

Explosions went off around the lifeguard chair Gunn and Cordelia were ducking behind; they cringed in unison.

"Well, how long is that gonna take?"

"Hard to say, Charles. We gotta calculate the wavelength of the dampening field, and then—"

"Could you give the Hooked on Phonics version for the techno-babble impaired?" Cordy interrupted.

A pause. "Ten more minutes."

She nodded. "You get all that, Angel?"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you," he muttered, his voice coming through the line for the first time. "But can we focus for a second on how exactly I've worked my way down to Unit Three? I keep getting demoted!"

"Quit bitching and get moving, Distraction Boy. You're on."

-

Angel flipped off his walkie talkie and turned to Lorne, who was cowering in a corner behind him.

"Are you sure you can't read these things, Lorne? It would make our jobs a lot easier."

"Not unless they sing, babycakes. And something tells me I don't want to hear what's going on up in those big scaly heads of theirs, anyway."

Angel rolled his eyes. "Nothing? You didn't get anything off their auras?"

"One thing—I got weirded out."

"Right." Angel frowned. "Well, I guess I'm on."

He leapt out from under the pier they'd been hiding and into action.

Game face on, roaring, he dodged and weaved through the crowd, breaking bones and trying to get to the raised platform upon which their leader was standing.

"Wha—vampire? But you died! WE KILLED YOU, I saw it happen!" it insisted with an unearthly accent.

He tackled it. "If you say so." The hoards were upon him now, trying to pull him off, trying to do anything. "I'm just the distraction, by the way," he added cheerfully.

Somewhere behind him, Cordelia and Gunn were cutting a wide swath into the demon army, yelling obscenities.

The battled raged on.

-

"This is Unit One," Wesley said tersely, his voice barely discernable over the sounds of clanging weapons. "You're good to go."

Angel took note of his surroundings. They had thinned the crowd to a mere dozen or so flunkies and their leader—and sustained minimal injuries themselves.

"It's over," he said loudly, catching the attention of everyone on the moonlit beach.

"Not until you've slain the last of us, vampire!"

"Okay," he said with a shrug.

It was short work, after that.

Wesley emerged from the large doom-machine behind the leader's back and pointed a crossbow at him. "Yield. You are alone, you are powerless, and you cannot hope to defeat us. Yield."

The demon merely laughed.

Cordelia leaned over to whisper to Gunn. "Did the alien demon just say what I think he said?"

"I dunno. All I caught was 'bwahahahahaha.'"

"That's what I'm talking about," she specified with a sigh. "How woefully passé."

"Could we maybe talk less about how clichéd he is and more about why he's laughing like he's winning?" Angel hissed.

"Oh, because you whining like a baby man about being Unit Three was super productive."

"Goodbye," said the demon. He touched a button on the band at his wrist, and promptly disappeared.

"What?!"

Angel clamped his hand over Cordelia's mouth. "Everyone hold very still."

They held still.

"Invisibility's a nice trick, I'll admit," Angel called out, walking slowly along the beach. "But I have a word of advice."

He lashed out suddenly, his hand wrapping around the neck of something that didn't appear to exist. The demon shimmered back into view.

"Next time you want to escape from a vampire? Hold your breath."

The alien whimpered.

"Okay. Now? You're gonna tell me about Wolfram & Hart."


A/N Oh, how I suck at giant fight scenes.

Tomorrow: Gunn and Fred bond.