Like everyone else, there are days when Haytham wakes up in Shay's head, a silent, unseen observer. Unlike everyone else, however, the difficulty of these days is compounded by the confusion of seeing his past self through Shay's eyes. Every time this happens, he catches himself trying to remember what this had all looked like the first time around.
He keeps wondering if he'd seen any hint of himself in Shay, or noticed him acting strangely. This had been the time in his life between when he'd first met Desmond (and rejected him, as completely and quickly as possible), and when he'd decided years later to ask him for help. At this point he was still having dreams of Altair and Ezio and Desmond without knowing exactly what that meant beyond the occasional sleepless night.
"Do you ever wish you could just grab your past self and shake him until he stops being such a stubborn idiot?" Haytham asks Shay one day, completely exasperated at the sight of himself, dark shadows under his eyes from a sleepless, nightmare filled night.
Shay laughs aloud. "No," he says. "But then I don't have to see younger versions of myself all that often."
"Well, consider yourself lucky then," Haytham says.
And maybe the younger Haytham feels Shay's eyes on him, because he turns abruptly and walks closer.
"Shite," Shay curses. "What'd I do?"
"Believe it or not, I don't remember every conversation I've ever had with you," Haytham says, and smiles as Shay sighs.
"Sleep well, sir?" he asks, voice far more polite than it had been moments ago within his own mind.
Haytham sighs. "Well enough," he says. "We have business to discuss, Shay."
"What business?" Shay asks.
"You could just wait thirty seconds for him- me-" he pauses, gathering his thoughts before continuing. "For him to explain."
"Or I could ask you, because it's faster." But Shay does repeat the question aloud anyway
"I've found another of the assassins," Haytham says, and Shay nods. "Taking him out will be a blow to the brotherhood."
"Who is it?"
Haytham has been trying to remember how exactly this conversation went the first time, and suddenly the memory comes back. "Fuck," he says, and feels Shay shift a little, obviously worried.
"What's wrong?" he asks. "You don't swear."
"Adewale," Haytham says, at the same moment as his past self answers aloud. Shay freezes, torn between trying to look normal for the younger Haytham, and focusing on his conversation with the older one in his head.
"Your father is going to kill us, isn't he?" he asks.
"Absolutely," Haytham says. "I'd forgotten about this until just now, but yes. My father will most likely kill both of us when he finds out we killed-"
"Will kill."
"One of his closest friends."
Haytham waits, impatient, as Shay finishes his conversation and his past self walks away- when they're alone, and only then, Haytham speaks. "Obviously, we need to find a way around this."
"Yes," Shay says, clearly relieved. "I thought you would want him dead."
Haytham doesn't answer. He's distracted, watching himself walk away and wondering what's wrong with him. Clearly, both versions of himself can't be in the right; either Adewale deserves to die, because he's an assassin and therefore an obstacle, or he deserves to live because he is (by all accounts) a loyal friend and a good man.
"When did I stop thinking like a templar?" he asks.
Shay starts to answer, then stops, clearly unsure if the question had been meant for him. It hadn't, but Haytham waits for him to say it anyway. He could use some advice right now. Any advice. "Then here's what I think," Shay says. "You're still thinking like a templar. You're the same man, just less willing to kill as a first option." And Haytham knows he's thinking of Lisbon (again) when he says, "I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing."
"True enough," Haytham says. "I… thank you, Shay."
"Don't thank me yet," Shay says. "We still need to find a way to save him."
But no matter how much time they spend talking about it, they can't come up with anything. Even when Desmond shows up halfway through and lends his two cents to the process, they can't get around the fact that Haytham actually remembers seeing Adewale's body, and more specifically Shay's face as he killed him.
"You looked horrified," Haytham tells him. "Or… appalled is probably a better word. Like you couldn't believe what you'd done." That face has haunted him for years, and finally knowing why Shay had been so upset doesn't help.
"Great," Shay says. "I'm looking forward to this even more, now."
"So we're agreed?" Desmond says. He sounds miserable. "Adewale… he has to die?"
"I don't see any other choice," Haytham says. "Not without risking paradoxes."
"Who cares?" Shay demands. "What happens if there's a paradox, what would happen?"
"No idea," Desmond says.
Haytham adds, "We've never been stupid enough to risk it."
"So let's find out!" Shay says.
Haytham takes a deep breath. "No," he says. "This isn't a normal fight, Shay. We haven't risked paradoxes for some very good reasons- it could tear the timeline apart, or split us all into alternate universes, or anything else. It's not worth risking for one life, no matter whose life it might be." He hates saying it, but someone has to. If he has to be the bad guy, at least that means no one else has to play that rule.
"How about four lives?" Shay asks. "Because we're seriously all dead as soon as Edward finds out."
"Well, if we're lucky, he never will." He waits a beat, because he's known Shay for many years now and has never known him to pass up a chance to point out he makes his own luck.
This time, he doesn't even seem to notice.
-/-
Whew! Sorry this chapter took a while- I actually wrote chapter 30 (thinking I could use it as 29) realized I was missing a step, and wrote this one instead. The good news is that I only need to do a quick edit of 30 before putting it out, so it should be out tomorrow at the latest.
