Chapter 28: LOCKED UP!
I solemnly walked through the halls of Shinra with Zack by my side. Attricus, Xantus, Aurale, Let, Larch, Merule, Serae, Varst, and Rael followed closely behind, attempting to make as little noise as possible after reading the bad atmosphere. Unfortunately, Zack was not as tactful and immediately began trying to cheer me up, but I countered all of his attempts with silence. All that I could think was that once again someone was choosing Aerith over me. I couldn't even believe that I had been the least bit worried about her when she had been captured, now a part of me wished that she had stayed captured.
Even though I felt bad for Zack, who seemed the slightest bit insane because it looked like he was talking to himself while trying to comfort me, but even so I could not bring myself to respond. I could only continue to remember all of the times that Aerith had been picked over me, remembering why I despised Aerith so much in the first place.
It was true that Aerith was a better person than I was. I had known this even as a young child when I loved playing the violent SOLDIER and Aerith preferred tending to flowers. Aerith had a more likable personality while I was a shut in and disliked conversations. Aerith was beautiful and sweet while I had a sharp tongue and piercing eyes. It was no secret to anyone and it definitely wasn't a secret to me. That was why I hated her; because I knew that she was better than me.
The only things that I was better than her at were fighting and making snappy remarks at other people, both things that she would not need. When Shinra operatives suddenly appeared before them I immediately cut them down in my silent rage without even batting my eyelash, then I threw Fascinare back on to my back. "I just want to get out of here," I finally said. "Let's just get out of here as fast as possible. I just want to get out of here and go to sleep wherever this AVALANCE stays."
Zack nodded, surprised that I had spoken. "Yeah, I'll get you out of here as soon as possible," he grinned. "If it's me you know that I can do it."
His riled up cockiness already began to strike a laugh in me. "I know, why do you think I'm asking you?"
"I think that I'm pretty great," Rael shrugged.
"All of you too," I smiled. "Let's just forget about my little encounter up there and get down. I think that we could all use some rest. Its been a long day."
"Now you're talking," Varst smirked.
"It seems that is what is best," Xantus nodded.
But of course, all did not go as we had planned the next thing we knew we were captured and locked up within the tower, along with the group Cloud had been leading. We had all been thrown in to cells, two people to one. All I had to be glad for was that I had not been set inside the same cell as Aerith. Also, Shinra still did not seem to know that my group and I were also Ancients, though I sought out to keep it that way.
My cell was right next to Cloud's because I could hear his uncomfortable stomping. I could recognize his footsteps from the other side of a room if I needed to. I sat against the cell wall that separated our rooms and listened to the drone of his steps while Zack sat not too far away from me. Finally I said, "Cloud, calm down. We will get out of here so just sit still."
Suddenly a large bang sounded out against the wall, scaring me to my feet. "Felicis, are you in there!?" His worried voice cried.
"Cloud I'm fine," I sighed. "Just quiet down."
I heard frantic footsteps go to the other wall and I could faintly hear Aerith's name being mentioned, something about being a bodyguard and date. Unable to muster any more anger for the day I just sunk to my knees against the wall.
"Felicis?" Zack said, making his way over to me. Slowly he sunk down next to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Hey, just try and get some rest. It's been a long day and I don't think either of us is back in the loop of this kind of missions yet. You look tired."
"I don't think that's why I'm tired," I let out a huge sigh, falling in to his chest more. I could still feel the hardness of it, almost exactly the way it had been before he had taken off to Nibelheim and hadn't come back. "Can I just stay like this for a little while?"
I felt the rise and fall of his chest speed up a little. Realizing what he was feeling towards me in that moment I tried to pull away, but his strong arms held me even tighter. It was almost like he had cocooned himself around me. "Are you trying to tempt me, Felicis?"
"That wasn't my intention," I protested. "I didn't think that-"
"You can tell, can't you? You can tell how if feel about you," Zack whispered in to my ear, sending chills down my back.
"I- I didn't know," I shook my head.
"Well now you do," he said. Carefully he kissed my shoulder, making his way up my neck, until he finally reached my lips. Going in for one last kiss he stopped himself. Suddenly it was like his whole body went limp, but he no longer cocooned himself around me. Now his head rested on my shoulder and his body was lazily draped over mine.
"Zack, I-" I began before I was interrupted by him.
"I love you, Felicis," he choked. "I have for a long time now. I love you so much."
This time, a part of me could not push him away. All I could do was stay in his arms and cry. I did not know where the tears came from though. I did not know if it was the pity that had built up in my chest for the person that I could not love back, or if it was the fact that out of all the times he had told me that he loved me, this one touched me the most. This was the 'I love you' that I had wanted to hear before he left for Nibelheim. This was the 'I love you' that I had been waiting for all of my life.
"But I can't take you from him," Zack held on to me like he was clinging on for dear life. "Even if Cloud hates me he's still my best friend after all, and I can't take you from him. Even though I know that you would be so much happier if you were with me, I can't do it."
Forcing back my tears and wiping them from my eyes I lifted Zack's head. His face was tear streaked, and I remembered the last time that I had seen Zack cry was when Angeal had died. That memory was forever burned in to my mind. "You're right, you know? I would be so much happier being in love with you." I told him, wiping away some of his tears. "But even I don't know why I can't fall in love with you again." I shook my head. "You're so important to me Zack, maybe even more than Cloud, but I can't explain it. I can't think about you as just a friend, but I don't love you the way that I love Cloud."
"Felicis, what are you saying?" Zack asked, but I shook my head again.
"I don't know what I'm trying to say. I don't understand what is happening right now," I admitted to him, but then before I could go on Zack had pressed his lips on to mine and pushed me against the back of the cell so that Cloud could not hear.
It was like I was suddenly shot back to the day Zack left for Nibelheim. The kiss almost mirrored the one from back then. Every vein in my body was once again alive and my senses heightened. My body was on fire, and all that I could taste and feel was Zack. He was everywhere around me. Losing feeling in my legs I slid down to my knees against the wall, but Zack only followed. Finally, when he broke the kiss for air and leaned back in again I half expected him to push me away like he had done before, but he didn't. Zack continued to kiss me, burying his face in my neck and leaving kisses along the side. "Zack stop," I told him, trying to push him away, but he only kissed me on the mouth again to shut me up.
"I can't," he whispered in to my mouth mid-kiss. "I love you, Felicis."
"I love Cloud, I can't," I shook my head, dodging his next kiss.
"I lied, Felicis," Zack said with his serious mako blue eyes. "I can take you from Cloud, I know I can." Finally, he stepped away and leaned against the opposite wall.
I could barely get any sleep after that. My body felt numb and my heart hammered against my chest, but when I finally did get sleep and woke up I remembered Cloud gently kissing my lips, instantly calming me. Then I remembered him linking our hands and him leading me out of the cell. Zack leaned against the wall outside of the cell with Tifa, Barret, and Aerith, watching me with piercing eyes.
