Lavi tries to kill Chaoji 2 – Failure
"Allen, I just don't get it," Lavi whined as he walked through the halls with Allen, heading towards the cafeteria.
"What?" Allen asked.
Lavi sighed heavily. "Why does Chaoji get more screen time than me in the last few episodes of the last season? And as if that isn't bad enough, we're wearing matching shirts!" he cried desperately.
Allen shuddered, remembering how excited Chaoji had been about the wardrobe for the last months of the season, and how he had said that it symbolized his undying friendship with the bookman.
"Lavi," he cautioned, "You shouldn't talk so loudly about him."
Lavi sighed. "That's right. We're headed to the cafeteria, which means we'll run into him for sure…. He practically lives there, huh?"
"I feel bad for Jerry."
Lavi shook his head, pointing to his chest, "Pity me! You know how he stalks me! I've had just about all I can take! Take last night, for instance. He came knocking on my door at twelve at night, saying that he wanted to watch the Barney marathon with me. I guess all the sugar keeps him up. I was sound asleep, though, and so was the Old Panda. Of course, Gramps blames me for getting woken up…" Lavi shuddered. "It wasn't pretty, I tell you."
Allen nodded. "I know what you mean."
"And last week," Lavi continued, picking up a momentum, "I left the lunch table for one second to go find a napkin, and when I come back, his face was literally in my bowl. I haven't eaten rice since."
"He was in your bowl?" Allen verified.
Lavi nodded. "He says that they were calling him, and that he couldn't resist their 'seductive pleas'. He's like, a freaking food pervert."
Allen decided to ignore Lavi's new phrase. "He seems to be having conversation with food a lot lately. Maybe he should get that checked."
Lavi shook his head. "We can't get a doctor near him. Once they see one thing, they'll see another, and he'll be locked up in the clinic for days – not that that's a bad thing in general, but it'd cost a whole lot."
Allen shrugged. "I guess we'll just have to deal, then."
Ironically, a large thumping came just as they were saying this, nearly knocking them off of their feet. Chaoji's loud, high, obnoxious voice echoed through the halls (and probably the whole country at that).
"Lavi, my dearest, closest, most adoring best friend of all time!" he greeted him. "Want to sit together?"
"Do I have a choice?" Lavi muttered, refusing to turn around to face Chaoji, who was still scampering down the halls after him.
"Lavi, you're so funny!" he laughed. "Everyone here is so funny that I can hardly stand being by myself anymore. You're all so much fun to be around."
Lavi had had it. He raised his hammer, swinging it backwards to slam it into Chaoji. Of course, as seen a million times before, it merely bounced off of Chaoji, but this time with a lot of force. The hammer went flying in the opposite direction, too fast for Lavi to stop it, and slammed into the head of Inspector Leverrier, who had just taken a turn into their hallway. Lavi withdrew his weapon and Chaoji ran away.
Failure.
Author's notes: This chapter was requested by Tiny Secret! I hope it came out all right. Sorry it took me forever to do this. I'm open to requests if anyone has any - don't worry, though. We've got a zillion more ideas up our sleeves if you don't have any. But just know that if you ever want a certain chapter let us know and we'll do it.
