'Ummmmmmm... well... I,' Daryl stumbled through his one symbol words for so long Carol decided to save him and pretend to go to sleep. She planted the seed, he just needed it to form well in his brain. He looked down at her seeing she was asleep, he pulled her in tighter trying to figure out what she actually meant. He loved her, he never thought he would love anyone, or anyone who would love him.
Carol loved him, she told him with her eyes, her smile her touch. She'd whispered it to him. He'd never said it back. He hadn't told Sophia either, he'd showed her though. He lay there thinking he needed to get it out, tell them what they meant to him before it was too late. It already might be too late, if she woke and remembered he didn't tell her he wanted forever.
He looked down at her sound asleep in his arms and wondered why she trusted him so much with her most prized possession Sophia. Not only trusted him, but shared her with him, he just needed to figure it all out.
Sophia and Carol now were big parts of his life. He'd told her he wasn't the relationship type and here he was. He didn't think he was the Daddy type but he was doing it. He didn't know if he was good at it or not but Sophia's face certainly lit up when talking to him. When he picked her up from school. She gave him lots of drawing and kisses, she seemed to like him. She seeked him out when he was home and he knew he was totally wrapped around her finger.
Was he the husband type. Fuck no, he was the beer drinking, swearing, smoking type who run Mermaids. He dealt with low life and womenisers, he wasn't the husband type, husbands didn't run strip clubs. This was the reason he'd avoided women and dating, now it was too late, he been sucked right into a web of little girls and toys and sucked right into Carol's blue eyes.
Husbands didn't threaten or blackmail soccer Mums to strip or dance or swim. He blackmailed a cop to work in his club for fuck sakes, and forced his wifes hand to work there too. He forced a cop to tell his wife she had to work or he would out her to the other soccer mum.
Husbands had 9-5 hour a day jobs to put food on the table. Husbands didn't live with their brothers because they like too. Husbands were strong good looking men who drove nice cars who were not covered in tattoos or scars. They didn't have tats on their hands or on their bodies, if they did it was something small not huge ones that covered half his back or tats on his biceps. The tats might be good for getting rid of boys when Sophia was a teenager, or he could just glare at them with his deadly glare.
He lay there scratching his stomach thinking then gave up trying to sleep and moved about putting on his clothes then grabbed his leather jacket. He was have a freak out about what he should be doing or not doing, he walked through to the kitchen thinking about getting on his bike and taking off for a few days but he couldn't, he hunted around in a high cupboard looking for his smokes and lighter then went outside sitting on the steps he lit one.
He sat there looking around the back lawn and he felt a nudge on his back he turned around looking at a little kitten trying to make him pet him, he couldn't resist it and petted him anyway.
'Which one are you?' Daryl looked at him, picking him up in the half light, 'Oscar,' he sat petting the kitten for some time, he sat petting the kitten for some time. Trying to figure out what he was going to do. He moved inside making a coffee, he fed the kitten wondering where his sister was, and then stepped outside lighting up again then wandering around the back lawn figuring out they might need to get a few kids toys out there, he thought they could maybe build a play fort or something.
He thought he had husbands sorted, Rick Grimes was weak, he was a husband, the husbands were in the club watching other women. Some husbands were mostly arseholes, Carols ex was a prick, he didn't want to lose what they had. His dad wasn't a shining example of what husbands did. He wasn't going to be that guy, he really didn't know what he could offer Carol but him. She had her own money and she really didn't need him right now. She would have her own money soon enough, she wouldn't even need a job. He had nothing to offer her that she didn't have herself.
She had more than him, until now she was doing it alone. He just couldn't shake the images of the Dad's he saw dropping their kids off at the school. When Soph found out what he did for a job, she'd be embarrassed of him. She wouldn't want him walking her into class. He'd always been single and a loner this was why, he didn't want to let them down, he really didn't know what he should do. Maybe he should talk to Maggie, she knew stuff that chicks wanted. She would know hopefully.
He stepped on his smoke then headed back inside, he knew he had to get some sleep before he saw Lori Grimes in the morning to see if she could actually swim or not for the opening night at the club. He went through to check on Sophia, finding the little girl kitten asleep beside Sophia. Then he kicked off his clothes and climbed into bed again beside Carol. She rolled into him, resting on him, he put his arms around her. He didn't have the answers to give her yet.
