-29-
When Olivia left Kate at 5:30, she felt like she had a new lease on life. She called Alex, who answered without even looking at the phone.
"Cabot."
"You still at work?"
"No, at home," Alex said, a lie by omission. She needed to break the news of her apparent suspension with a minimum of fuss, to save her some of the inevitable questions.
"I just finished talking to Kate," Olivia said.
"And?"
"And, she thinks this is a slam dunk, that I'll be back on desk duty after New Year's and that we'll request and win a hearing within a few weeks or so, get me fully reinstated."
"I told you she was good, babe."
"She is," Olivia agreed. And then, feeling like everything was maybe going to go her way, she decided to push her luck. "You busy tonight?"
"What kind of busy would I be, Detective? I'm seeing someone, so my Friday nights are sort of blocked out from now until, you know, ever."
"Thought you might have some work to do, or something."
"Not tonight," Alex said, and once she was telling this lie, why not just keep telling it? "I feel like a prisoner, chained to a desk all week." She had been, really, it just didn't happen to be the desk Olivia was probably picturing.
"A prisoner, huh?" Olivia laughed. "Earned any conjugal visits yet?"
Alex was shocked, and pleased, but kept her voice level. Keep your hands where she can see them, Cabot, no sudden moves, don't scare her off.
"Well, I have been good."
"Oh, too bad," Olivia said. "I was in the mood for naughty."
"I can do that, too. Get your ass over here."
Olivia arrived at Alex's apartment a half-hour later, and knocked on the door. She didn't know if this was a good idea, or a very, very bad idea, but she'd missed Alex more than she'd thought possible. She'd just keep it light: sex, dinner, back home. Alex answered the door. "Lose your key?"
As soon as Olivia saw her, she stepped forward, pushing her foot against the door to close it, and wrapped Alex up, kissing her frantically, turning their bodies and backing her against the wall. They were both short of breath, all hands and arms and mouths. For many long minutes, they breathed only when they had to, content to consume each other as if thought and conversation and restraint were all luxuries they couldn't afford right now.
Finally, Alex pulled her head back, laying it against the wall behind her, and spoke. "I missed you."
"I missed you, too," Olivia said, and then moved to Alex's neck, using her tongue and her teeth to explore every millimeter of the fair skin exposed there, marking her, Alex was sure. She didn't mind. Alex was absolutely vibrating with desire as Olivia unbuttoned two buttons on her shirt and spread the collar wide, dragging her mouth from Alex's earlobe, down her rapidly pulsating carotid artery to her shoulder, across her collarbones and back up the other side.
"Bed." Alex barely got the word out between moans.
"What?" Olivia asked, never stopping, unbuttoning more buttons and trailing her tongue over the swell of Alex's breasts, and into the delicious hollow between them that smelled of Alex, and sweat and perfume, and home. Her hands were on the attorney's ass, her hips, her tits, everywhere at one time, it seemed.
"Bed," Alex repeated. "Take me to bed, Liv, I can't stand up."
"I can't wait that long," Olivia said, and knelt down, unbuttoning Alex's jeans and pulling them down to her knees, yanking her underwear down even faster, and immediately sliding her tongue into the wet heat she'd missed so much. Alex had both hands on Olivia's shoulders, was leaning over, letting the detective bear some of her weight. She didn't know how long she could stay upright.
"Get out of these pants," Olivia commanded, and ran her hands down Alex's calves, sliding the pants to the ground and helping Alex to step out of them. Alex just slid down the wall until her knees hit the floor, straddling Olivia's own bent legs, and put her hand in Olivia's hair, pulling—not hard, just enough—until Olivia's head rolled backward, lifting her face to Alex's.
The blonde stared at her for a long moment, and then their lips were together, and Alex was begging into Olivia's mouth, between kisses.
"Fuck me, please. Please. Please, fuck me, Liv." The fact that Alex was unfailingly polite even when she was so incredibly, desperately turned on was almost more than Liv could handle. She brought her hand up between them, slid two fingers in Alex's mouth and felt her own muscles clench up when Alex grabbed hold of Olivia's wrist, held the hand in place, and lavished attention on them with her tongue. She opened her blue eyes and looked directly at Olivia, before taking a third finger into her mouth. After only a second, she pulled the hand out and pushed it down between them. "That's more than wet enough," she said.
Olivia used her fingers to give Alex what she wanted, dragging them up and down through the slick folds before sliding three fingers home, and lowering her other hand to the small of her back. She let Alex set the pace but held her up, kept her steady, and she came in just a moment, reduced to incoherent religious acclamations and more of that incendiary begging.
She recovered quickly, and took Olivia there on the floor, sharing the detective's unwillingness to stop long enough to get to the bed.
Afterward, they lay naked on the floor until the cold evening seemed to seep into the floor, and into their bones. They hadn't said much, weren't inclined to now. They both realized the fragile state of things. Finally, Alex turned on her side, facing Olivia, and scooted closer. She drew one finger down Olivia's forehead, tracing her profile, then trailing the fingernail lightly down her chin, her throat and between her breasts. She leaned into Olivia's ear.
"Liv?"
"Alex." It was a statement, because Olivia wasn't ready for questions, asked or answered.
"I'm hungry."
Olivia laughed, a huge laugh, her first real laugh in over a week. It felt good. "I should have known," she said.
"What, did you think I was going to whisper sweet nothings in your ear?"
"Maybe," Olivia said, turning to look at her. "Though they're generally not nothing."
Alex grew serious, for just a moment. "I get the feeling you're not ready for that."
"Are you?" Olivia asked.
"I don't know."
"Me, neither."
They finally got up, the floor having lost whatever lavish comfort it seemed to offer a while earlier. Liv put her hands out, helped Alex to her feet. "Food."
"Yes."
They dressed and went out for a burger and beer, talked over Olivia's meeting with Kate, and Bill and Jean's visit, and Liv's trip upstate. Alex told her, finally, that the DA had called her on the carpet. She didn't share anything about the investigation they were about to undertake, but she knew Olivia would be wondering how Samuels had responded to the CNN blitzkrieg.
"He suspended me," she announced. Technically, anyway, it was true.
"Oh, no," Liv said. "For how long?"
"Just until the 2nd."
"Thought you'd been chained to a desk all week," Olivia said.
"Well, I was. It just happened to be my desk at home. Just because he needed to save face in the office doesn't mean there isn't work to do, right?"
"True," Olivia agreed. "You got off lucky, you know. That could've been a lot worse."
"Oh, he made a point of telling me I should be fired, but he said I reminded him of himself."
"Good thing you're such a charmer, Cabot."
On the way home, Alex thought maybe the door was open enough to talk about the elephant in the room. "Will you stay over tonight?"
"I'd better not, sweetie."
"Why not? We did just make...have sex."
"It's okay, you can say it. We did make love, Alex. I love you, even when I'm angry. Even when I'm an asshole who says horrible things and runs away, I love you."
"I love you. So come home." They had two homes, had always had two homes, but Olivia knew what she meant. Come back to me, completely. And stay.
"I will, soon, but I'm just not ready, Al," she said. "I can't jump back in quite yet."
Alex was disappointed, but said nothing.
"Conjugal visits aren't overnights anyway, you know that," she joked, but got no response. She stopped walking, and turned Alex to face her. "I want to, sweetie, believe me."
"Then do it," Alex said. "Just do it. I want you with me."
"It's not a good idea right now, for either of us. With my hearing and your suspension, we need to watch ourselves. We can't risk it."
"Okay," Alex said. That was all she said.
"Do you understand?"
"No, I don't. But I'm in no position to make demands, so I'll do whatever makes you happy."
Olivia didn't tell her that what would make her happy was putting all of this behind them, pretending it had never happened, and going home: one home, theirs, forever. She wanted to say it all, to drop down on one knee here on the street, but she knew it wasn't the time for it.
