Read it, just read it.


It was a bright morning; the sun bright shown in between the green leafs of the tall trees where birds chirped from their nests on the limbs. Squirrels and other small, cute furry animals frolicked through this forest enjoying the momentary bursts of sunshine through their leaps from branch to branch or steps on the soft soil.

Sifting swiftly through the shadows cast by the sun on those tall trees was "Team Sound", which was made of Orochimaru, Anko and the (unbeknownst) last Random Sound Ninjas loyal to the first person listed.

"I know we're lost." Anko exclaimed, breaking the silence of the running group, "Just admit it, Orochimaru."

"We are, for the last time, not lost." Orochimaru declared.

The leader halted and turned around to give an evil look to Anko, who was running behind him who then had to screech to a stop, causing all the Sound Ninjas running behind her to bump into each other and fall to the ground in a heap.

Instead he just looked confused when he saw a pile of his followers on the ground.

Anko looked back at the ninjas sprawled all over each other, then looked back at Orochimaru and returned his confused face with a nervous laugh and grin. It definitely was not her fault his soldiers were on the ground.

"Get up." Orochimaru commanded, then turned back forwards and started walking.

The ninjas did as they were told and continued following.

Anko reached into the deep pocket of her trench coat and pulled out a kunai.

Just as the knife was poised and ready to hit its mark a second kunai cut (lol) through the air and pinned Anko's to the tree she was preparing to stab, holding it up with that little hole in the handle.

Anko jumped back and stared at Orochimaru, who'd thrown it.

"Try that again and the kunai hits you." He warned, "I'm not going to repeat myself on weather we're the opposite of found or not. Yes we passed that tree three times, all three times on purpose for the reason to throw off anyone following us and make them think we're lost."

"And what would that even do to help, letting pursuers think we're lost!?" Anko demanded, "What we need to be doing instead of running in circles is find a place to hide, rest, regroup and plan our next move!"

"Don't start giving orders like your in charge just because you've taken Kabuto's place." Orochimaru snapped, "I'm still in charge around here and it's no one's job to second my decisions. If I want people to think we're lost, people will think I'm lost and no one will ask any questions, got it. I made some rules a long time ago and they haven't changed. Don't think you're special because you get to follow me around all day and lick my boots while you act like you're so much better than anyone else working for me, cause you're not! The only reason I even saved your life too is because you have some of the Six Tailed Chakra in you, not because I care if you live or die. You stupid little girl."

Anko was shocked.

Orochimaru could say some things but outright insults like that just weren't his style. He was too smart, too subtle to for that. The only time he would ever tell the cold truth to anyone was when he was about to kill them and Anko was pretty sure he wasn't planning to kill her at the moment.

Though he sounded mad enough to.

And over nothing too.

Something was wrong, Anko could feel it.

"Why are you so mad?!" Anko asked.

Orochimaru paused for a second and after a brief moment of thought, he realized something.

"A team is following us. Split up into groups of three and go on ahead." He said, "I'm taking care of the stalkers."

The Sound Ninjas followed orders and dispersed in all directions, jumping like lightning into the tree branches above. Orochimaru started walking in the opposite direction they were just going.

Anko went to follow him.

"I gave an order." Orochimaru stated when he realized Anko was behind him, "Go."

"My job as the new Kabuto is to follow you around and lick your boots like you said, I'm coming too." Anko explained, "Besides there's something wrong with you, I can tell."

"Your concern is touching but I'm fine." Orochimaru said.

"I'm coming." Anko said.

"It's only a team of three!" Orochimaru shouted in Anko's face, "You think I can't handle it?!"

"Uh…no but...I just…I wanted…I thought…" Anko stammered, then yelled "I give up! I'll just go and hope I see your white face again."

Anko turned around and walked away.

Obviously, Orochimaru didn't need her help and he could handle it all on his own.

Orochimaru kept walking to where he would meet those following him…or not.

That was just the excuse.

He had to get back to Konoha.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was chaos in Konoha.

Civilians had run around like maniacs on the streets until they got the sense to bar themselves in their homes, all if fear that Orochimaru was still somewhere in the Village.

Every able bodied ninja, including genin, were all in a frenzy searching high and low for the escaped convict.

Tsunade and Jiraya had returned and were confronting frantic The Elder Council about what happened.

"So the smoke cleared and he was just gone. They both were. Disappeared." Tsunade asked angrily, "Well that wouldn't have happened if you had kept some decent restraints on him. Furthermore, what were you doing executing anyone without my permission and when I'm gone? I didn't leave you all in charge so I'm tired of you three taking over every time I take a break. It's about time you retired. In fact, that's an order."

"And why was Anko Miratashi in jail and on the list to die too?" Jiraya asked, "I though we had established her innocence."

"Apparently not." The old woman stated, "Or she wouldn't have escaped."

"Anyone would have escaped!" Tsunade exclaimed, "I would have escaped. Her life was a stake!"

"What about duty?" the old man asked, "A ninja must do its Village's will, and die for it. How was that any different than being killed on the battle field? It was an official order."

"Not according to me." Tsunade said, "I hereby pardon Anko for all crimes The Elder Council has and may accuse her of."

"You can tell her if you find her." The other old man laughed, "She's gone now and so is Orochimaru."

"Thanks to you." Jiraya said.

"Go to a retirement home." Tsunade ordered The Elder Council, who then walked away.

"We have to send someone after her." Jiraya sighed, turning to his former teammate, "And someone to catch Orochimaru, too."

"This never ends!" Tsunade exclaimed.

No, it never will.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It had come to this, The Elder Council had decided.

If people from The Village Hidden In The Leaves weren't going to do anything about Orochimaru, Anko or anyone, then they'd just have to get outside forces to.

Konoha would thank them for it later, when they came to their senses and realized that the world would be a much better place without Orochimaru and his crew.

"We have called you here today because we have no other choice." The old woman explained, "Not because we want to form an allegiance or have anything to do with any of you in the future. We just need Orochimaru to be killed. We'll even pay."

The ones she had called there, to the dark shadowed area of the forest where no light from above seeped in through the trees, were several members of the Akatsuki, the only people she and the other Elders could agree may be able to beat Orochimaru.

"You don't understand." Itachi said, "The Akatsuki is not a kill for hire group. We have our own plans and only take orders from our leader. We're not hitman."

"I'm sure it's well within your plans that Orochimaru dies." The old man stated.

"That's confidential." Itachi replied.

"Don't listen to him." Kakuzu said, "If there's money involved, I'd be happy to rid you of your snake problem."

"Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Hell." Hidan said, "All you fucking think about is fucking money. Fuck."

"Young man, you have quite a mouth!" The old woman gasped, "Make an old lady have a heart attack."

"Does it look like I give a flying fuck?" Hidan cursed again, "Stupid old bitch. Fuck."

Everyone looked at Hidan wrong.

"Do you need to say the F word in every sentence that leaves your dirty mouth?" Kakuzu asked.

"Do you need to fucking ask stupid questions all the fucking time? Fuck." Hidan retorted.

"I swear. If I didn't have to work with you on this team, I would find a way to kill you." Kakuzu declared.

"I'll kill you, motherfucker!" Hidan shouted for the world to hear, "I'll kill everyone! Fuck."

Everyone looked at him wrong again.

"I'm not in this." Itachi decided and started walking away.

"I'm in this, though." Kisame decided, "I haven't had a good fight in a while and the leader hardly pays me I need the money."

"I'm getting the money!" Kakuzu yelled.

"I'll give you all money!" the old man exclaimed, "Just kill Orochimaru and anyone else with him!"

"If killing's involved, I'm in!" Hidan decided then remembered to say "Fuck."

"I get you share of the profits." Kakuzu said.

"Fine by me." Hidan said, "I'm not a greedy fucking bastard like you or any stupid fucking non Jashin fucker."

Everyone looked at Hidan wrong.

"You really need to stop saying that." Kakuzu said.

"Yeah." Kisame agreed.

"What?" Hidan asked, "Saying what?"

"You know…that…that word." Kakuzu explained.

"What word?" Hidan asked slyly, "Tell me what word."

"The word. It starts with an F." Kisame said.

"And ends with…?" Hidan asked.

"Uck…" Kakuzu said.

"Fire truck?" Hidan asked.

"No…" Kisame and Kakuzu murmured.

"Come on, tell me, guys!" Hidan laughed, "Say it, say that word!"

Kisame and Kakuzu looked at each other.

Did they dare use one of the forbidden four letter words?

"….fuck…" they whispered.

"Hahahaha!" Hidan laughed, "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"I'm going to wash your boys mouth's out with soap!" The old woman declared, grabbed Kakuzu and Kisame and dragged them away.


Review.