Story: I'm Not Your Rebound
Rating: M
Disclaimers: Don't own Glee, characters, actors, all for non profit. Don't own Bed Bath and Beyond, or any of that other retail crapola.
A/N: Some great suggestions, and concerns raised you were warned! Thanks Spr1ng Awake for your tips
Chapter: Epilogue One
"Oh, God, fucking drive me...fuck me, come in me! Harder! Fucking shred me up, Beth! Unghhh...God!"
Dianna was bucking, underneath the hard hip thrusts of the blonde above her, with her beautiful curves, marred sightly by the tight straps of her dildo, the black straps cutting into her hips and around her waist.
Of course, it was of her own doing. Beth insisted on it tight. She wanted it to feel "just right." She didn't want any equipment failures when she was fucking the blonde underneath her, as she did, on occasion, when the need struck, more often than she cared to admit. Dianna started to feel the familiar coil. Beth was jackhammering, above her, into that rough spot of Di's, at the back of her opening, near her cervix.
Dianna was reduced to feeling, and tension, and the need to feel the rest of it..."Fuck, yeah! Right there...Goddddd.."
"No one fills you up, like I do, Dianna. Do they?"
"No one does, fuck me, no one....Like you." Dianna's eyes were fluttering shut. A big one was coming, and getting ready to wash over her like a tidal wave. Her nipples hardened, her muscles clamped down, and she felt the heat start from the back of her cervix blurring outwards, from her clit and radiating out to all points of her body.
Dianna felt it...she was overflowing with emotion, feeling, and sensation. She felt Beth's mouth... her hot, wet mouth, all over her nipples, her neck, her mouth... She loved Beth's hunger for her. She loved that Beth was insatiable. Selfishly, she loved that she was fucking only her, these days, because this was just too good to miss out on.
She came, hard, grunting and swearing, gripping Beth, while she shook. Pulling Beth tighter into her, she looked at the blonde on top of her, gritting her teeth, keening over her. Beth waited, until Dianna was done, and still; she then growled at the woman below her, "Fuck me, Di. Fuck me, now."
Dr. Manning raised an eyebrow, and silently scribbled notes into her notebook.
Those words were the only the go ahead Dianna needed. Ripping the straps off of Beth's pelvis, which left angry red marks, she rushed to harness herself. No sooner had she cinched the dildo on herself, that Dianna in turn became almost ...possessed. She felt so hungry for the blonde underneath her, consumed by a need that was making her crazy, she knew she would only be sated fully by...taking her, roughly.
Dr. Manning, earlier in the week, had been satisfied that they were capable of orgasm with each other performing very vanilla types of sexual activity, even with appropriate, proper counterbalancing (she made them repeat it over and over with Di first, then Beth, then two then one, through multiple iterations to avoid any scientific and unknown sexual confounders). She watched them have twenty-five orgasms over two weeks time. Satisfied they were capable of something conventional, more "traditionally" stimulating, she felt it was possible to move them along to a technique called "flooding."
Flooding was a technique that was just like it sounded. She was going to drown them in the memories of the past, to sensory overload, and then help them through it. On their own, they only dabbled in the past, and that small sampling allowed it to remain titillating to them, without any real processing, or healing, she reasoned.
"Oh, God, Elizabeth, let me fuck you... Let me fuck you, little girl..." Dianna's deliberate use of Beth's childhood name, that the perpetrator had used, was deliberate.
As planned, in this session, Dianna was to refer to Beth as "Elizabeth." Only one person in the past had called her that name. Beth shuddered, either at the recollection of the use if the name; or her developing arousal; or both.
Dianna knew Beth was wet for her, dripping, and desperate for release, really; so she didn't feel badly when she decided to just sink her girth in, all the way in, deep inside her, without preamble. She lined up the tip with Beth's wet opening, and thrust, hard...all the way.
"Fuck!" Dianna burst out, becoming aroused, again.
"Oh fucccckkkkk." Beth moaned, close to her climax with just Dianna's mere penetration, alone.
"I'm fucking you with my big cock, Elizabeth, that has my cum juice all over it. You hear me, Corcoran?"
"Elizabeth, please, Dianna; keep it to Elizabeth."
Dianna, without acknowledging the therapist's words, began thrusting in and out of Beth. Gripping her hair, harshly, she pulled her head, forcing her to look upwards, and commanded, "Look at me, Elizabeth, do you feel me fucking you with my own juices?"
"Mmmmm in n nth..." Beth moaned, incoherently.
Dr. Manning was writing in her pad, furiously. Looking at the spent girls, she said, "Okay, good. Why don't you two get dressed and meet me in the office. Let's talk about how it felt to introduce some triggers into play."
This was a part of processing, and moving on; however, Dr. Manning would have no idea how much "triggers" would impact these two.
XOXOXO
"I'm damaged, Lea." The blonde admitted, broken. Tears were forming but she stubbornly refused to let them fall, out of sheer will. "I am trying, but I really am ... but I'm an addict , Lea. I struggle. I may never be the partner you deserve to have."
It was a week following the most grueling session Dr. Manning had put them through, and Beth was still shaken. Lea and her girlfriend had finally found some alone time and were in the Diva's beautiful home, overlooking the water.
"So, that's it? You're giving up?" Lea said, flabbergasted.
"I'm telling you, if you have a brain in your head, you would run as far away as you can! You'd find the man or woman that loves you, and can love you back, and make you happy, and...give you a decent life..."
Beth took at deep breath.
"Are you not in love with me anymore?" It was clearly a hard question for Lea to ask.
Without pause, Beth said carefully, "I'm still madly in love with you. You are...you are the only person I've ever loved, Lea. It terrifies me."
With even more hesitation, Lea asked, "Are you falling in love with Dianna? Is that why you're trying to break up?"
Beth snorted. "Di? No! I am in serious like with her as a friend, and outside the bedroom she could be one of the only true friend I've made in a long time. I won't lie, though, I love fucking her." Lea winced at the admission. "But I don't like who I become with her in bed. I hate it. I feel very...out of control."
"I need to ask you something important."
"Okay."
"Do you think you can keep your... addictions, perversions, whatever...these impulses, can you keep them limited to Dianna?"
Beth thought about it. "For now, I guess...yes. Why?"
"Honestly?"
"Yes, isn't honesty the point, here?"
"I refuse to let you break up with me. Just promise to keep it to Di only, don't embarrass me publicly, and promise to keep working with Dr. Manning...and whomever else she thinks you need to, in order to get better."
"Lea..." Hesitated Beth.
"No, Beth. I won't give up." She said, resolutely.
Beth finally started crying.
She didn't know if her tears were tears of relief, joy, or sadness for the beautiful little brunette who she feared she would break out of her own weakness and perversion; she felt she wasn't worthy of her. Beth couldn't bury the forbidding and belief that she'd never be good enough for Lea.
Beth was shaking, as Lea took her into her arms, and squeezed.
"Lea...addiction is not something you "cure," you know that, right? It's something you manage, every day. I may never get better."
"But...you might. You've never tried before."
"Lea... I struggle. I struggle, even now. It's a lot of pressure, to meet my own expectations, much less yours on top of it." She said, crying again.
Lea hugged her. "No judgements, here, Beth." moving a stand of blond hair that had fallen across Beth's sad face, she continued. "It's not like I have a choice, either. My heart chose you...you, wrinkles and all."
Lea kissed the tears in Beth's eyes.
She kissed her nose.
Beth giggled.
Looking at Beth's lips, Lea briefly licked her own, then leaned in for a chaste kiss. However, as soon as that connection was made, they were kissing, harder, deeper...
Lea's tongue, probing, entered her mouth, and the sensation burned Beth. Immediate wetness pooled between her legs with the sensation of Lea's talented mouth, and her demanding tongue inside her mouth.
The overwhelming feeling of want and desire, very different than how she felt on a regular basis with Dianna, warmed Beth from the inside out.
"Lea..." She moaned. "wait."
"Mmmm," the diva murmured.
"Lea!"Beth said, pulling away his time, more insistent.
"What? I was kissing you, if you don't mind!"
"I do..mind, I think. I've been thinking about it, a lot. I need something from you..."
"Yes?"
"I need to... not have a such a physical relationship with you, just now. Not until...not, um ...until I can be healthy about it. Not until I am less of a hot mess."
"What?!"
Beth took her hands, gently, and looked directly in her eyes. "This is the hardest thing, the absolute hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Harder than burying Stacey. Harder than getting dressed after Larry. Harder than my first surgery. Harder than opening night of "the Shell Collector" on stage... "
"I get it." Lea sighed, exasperated. "Hard."
"No, you don't!" Beth said, frustrated. "You don't! Every part of my body wants to take you, and fuck you senseless... I want to ravish every single part of you ...but I can't. I need to not touch you, until I deserve you."
"I'm not a saint, Beth. I want that, too. Sex."
"But sex for me, doesn't equal intimacy, Lea. It's the exact opposite, in fact. Sex drives me further away from that, from feeling safe with someone."
"Beth, I understand... I do. But just for today... Can you make love to me... for me? I feel like it's been forever since you touched me. Please. I won't ask again, after today, not until you're ready."
Beth had her eyes closed shut, squeezing out possible hot tears. She obviously was struggling withing herself. She wanted to do this for Lea, for herself, but she knew...deep down, she wasn't ready. But the thought of having Lea, selfishly having her, the thought of feeling her naked, against her own skin...
When she opened her eyes, her pupils were blown and her fair eyes, normally bright, were dark. Grabbing the back of Lea's neck, she pulled the tiny brunette closer to her own mouth, and growled.
"Fine...I will have you, today. Only today. It's not wise, Lea. I'm barely hanging on... because I want you. I want you, so much."
"Then take me, today."
And so, Beth did. Over and over, she had Lea. She filled her senses full of the woman she loved, sating her every desire. She made Lea come, over and over, until she was numb; and Lea fell asleep, blissfully, in the arms of her lover, with a smile in her face.
When she woke up in the morning, Beth was gone.
XOXOXO
Dianna opened her apartment door that morning, mildly surprised to see her friend and therapy buddy crying on the other side.
"Lady Di...are you busy?"
"No. My God, Beth, you look terrible! What's wrong?"
"Nothing that you... naked.... wouldn't solve."
She grabbed her, with her mouth agape, by the elbow and headed straight for her bedroom.
"Is this a good idea...without Dr. Manning? We aren't supposed to do this, outside of therapy, you know, Beth."
"You know what, Di? Fuck therapy. I need you, now."
XOXOXO
They didn't realize how badly they would trigger each other. At their past and most recent session, the concept of penetration, now easily had became their latest kink. Although started under their therapists close observation, during this extra curricular session, unbeknownst to Dr. Manning, it would blossom into something very dark.
They were repeatedly penetrating each other, without the jurisprudence of their therapists watchful and safe eye. Because the act of sex was dangerous for them, as a result, it was so fucking arousing for both of them to be off the leash, at last, with each other.
Fucking each other, any they way they wanted; debasing the others' body, to the fullest...
The thrill it brought to them both, to express those unmentionable desires, was indescribable. To act out, finally with the one person who would not only understand their desires, but would agree to participate in them, was heady.
Dianna, wild-eyed, said to Beth, "I want you... to tie me up, this time, Beth, while you fuck me with he dildo..."
"Di... I don't think that's a good idea...tying you up, that is."
Dianna's pupils were blown. "Are you fucking kidding me? It's such a good idea, Elizabeth. You're going to make me cum, so fucking hard, when you show me... who's boss of me."
Beth was getting more aroused by the second.
"Beth, show me you're the boss. Show me what a dirty girl I am..."
She was grinding up against Beth's harness, biting her exposed nipples, and accidentally bit one too hard, making Beth yelp. Beth, without thinking, reacted... and on instinct, smacked Dianna across the face with a slap, trying to push her off.
"Ouch! You bit my nipple! That fucking hurt!"
Dianna was wild with desire, looking like an animal. She was so wet, and open. She needed Beth in her, in ways she couldn't put into words.
Gripping her torso, she bit Beth's other nipple, eliciting another immediate swipe from Beth. This time, it was harder. Beth groaned, lost in Dianna's illness and desire, co-consumed by their unhealthy behaviors. Dianna was begging her, with her eyes, and Beth was losing her will to resist.
"You want me to show you how fucking nasty you are, Dianna?"Beth snarled.
Beth grabbed her wrists and pinned them down, over Dianna's head.
"Fuck, yes! Fuck me, Elizabeth, do it. Do me ...tell me to spread my legs, now. Tie me down." Dianna growled back, pelvis rocking into Beth.
Moving in an almost fugue like state, Beth grabbed Dianna's scarves, using them to cinch her wrists together and tied them to the headboard.
"Tighter!" Dianna begged.
The more she tightened them, the wetter Dianna got. This is so fucked up, Beth thought. We're so fucked up. And I can't wait to enter her....
"Spread your legs, now, you little... slut." It felt awful, to call her a degrading name... But it was turning Dianna on, so much. With each horrible name, Dianna would become more aroused, more turned on. And that was Beth's weakness: pleasing women and making them feel good. Giving them what they most craved and desired, without any real intimacy.
"Oh...fuck, yes... Fuck yes..." Dianna moaned, pelvis bucking. Beth had slapped her twice more and she had practically cum on the spot.
"I said already, open your slut legs, wider! Are you fucking deaf? God damn it, Dianna spread 'em, cause I'm going to fuck your little... slutty... hole. Now!" Beth barked.
Dianna came with a fury as Beth thrust their well-used dildo into Dianna's opening. The dildo was reeking of their combined ejaculates from the morning, and they both refused to wash it. Beth wanted their used "jack-off" to be injected deep into Dianna. Beth pounded the strap on, into Dianna's opening, and watched, detached, as the blonde shuddering underneath her again in climax, moaning Beth's name. Over and over, she said it.
"Fuck me, fuck me. I'll be good, Elizabeth, just don't stop...please, just hit me."
"No, Di.."
"Hit me, Elizabeth, you little pussy! Don't be a little bitch!"
Beth started at the sudden change of personality. She grimaced in understanding; Beth understood, Di needed it...she wanted it, she had to have it rough to come undone. To climax, fully. Beth understood. Thrusting into the out of control blonde underneath her, Beth complied. She slapped Di across the face, open handed.
Dianna gasped, and her opening clenched hard around the penetration of Beth's dildo, with an intensely powerful orgasm; Dianna absolutely came undone before Beth's eyes. Di was coming and ejaculating and convulsing in a mess of cursing and motion, uninhibited. She tore her fingernails down Beth's back, breaking skin; it was so good... So good... So. Fucking. Good.
Beth's back was bleeding, but she didn't care, while she made Dianna cum over and over for nearly twenty minutes. Beth herself came hard, finally, as well; she squirted all over the convulsing woman beneath her. With Dianna pinned below her, she drove the dildo into her quivering opening, until she came again.
"Fuck, you made me cum all over you! God damn!" Beth swore.
She stared At Dianna with a knowing look.
"Bitch," Beth spoke deliberately, "You better clean up the mess you made me make...now." She thrust her pelvis foward, jutting it into Dianna's waiting mouth.
"Lick this crap off of me. Now!" Beth ordered.
Dianna set her mouth in motion, dutifully licking Beth clean, already aroused again, beyond words. Beyond understanding. Beyond...control.
XOXOXO
Demi and Dianna were shopping at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
They had long since discovered they had a mutual love of cleanliness and organization. And they were both allergic to cats, dust mites, and both hated a dirty house.
While neither had a huge love of clothes or shoe shopping, unlike Beth and Lea, they both loved shopping for the home or kitchen. They were perfect shopping BFF's.
Right now, her latest session with Beth left her feeling a little dirty, sore, and confused...and she needed some retail thearpy with her de facto bestie, to take her mind off how gross she felt at the moment. She was taking Demi to see some new product she wanted her to have before the brunette went on tour.
"God, Demi, I can't believe you're leaving so soon!" Dianna groaned, sadly. "You've been the perfect buffer between Lea and Beth and I! It's going to be weird without you there."
"Can I be honest with you, D?"
"Yes...oh, crap, the Blue Apple is on sale!"
"Put down the Blue Apple. Dianna, I'm worried about you."
"Why?" Dianna said, nonchalantly.
"Why? The bruises...the late nights at Beth's...do I need to fill in the blanks for the studio audience, really? You two have stopped going to therapy. I've noticed. You come late, and tired, when you get to work...and unprepared. Its not like you."
Without meeting her eyes, she said evenly, "I'm fine, Demi. And Elizabeth..um, Beth...Beth is fine. We're fine."
"You don't look fine to me. And since when do you speak for Beth?"
Diannna sighed. "It doesn't concern you, not in that way. It's not a problem. Beth is with Lea."
"But she's fucking...you."
"Yes."
"Every night."
"No..not every night." Dianna didn't meet her eyes.
"Dianna, go back to Dr. Manning."
"You know, she wasn't really that helpful, actually."
"Go back to Dr. Manning."
Dianna huffed.
Demi spoke, evenly. "Look, this isn't a choice. I'm telling you, you can either go back to Dr. Manning, and have sex with Beth then...and only then; or you can come on tour with me when we launch next week. But you're not staying here, while Beth finishes, not without therapy."
Dianna rolled her eyes. "And you appointed you Queen?"
"I did. I self-appointed." Demi chucked, quietly. "Queen Demi. Love it."
Grabbing Dianna by the elbow and pulling her away from the people that were starting to clue into their identity, she moved them to the Keurig section.
"Dianna, you can make the choice. Stay, if you go to Dr. Manning; or Go, and come with me. One or the other."
"You don't own me!"
"I don't, true."
"So, who do you think you are, making these bullshit demands?" Dianna was getting irritated. The thought of losing her fix...Beth...was making her panic.
Demi, however, was pretty wise to the world, and despite her care-free attitude, had quite a spine, when needed. She also had seen more than her share of addicts, having been a musician long before her acting career.
"Who am I? I'm the person, standing before you, who loves you, Dianna. Loves you for who you are, and not what you can do for me! Loves you because of you, and not how you make me feel...in bed!" Without realizing it, Demi's voice was raising, and she was speaking a tad more firmly and loudly than she cared to admit. Demi's lack of a filter in BBB was likely the cause of the front page expose in Star Magazine's article proclaiming them "Hot Lesbo Lovers" the next week, which the Voice team quickly defused.
However, the passionate plea actually reached the startled blonde; and she made a decision.
After wrapping her scenes the next day, she packed her paltry personal belongings, and she went on tour with Demi. Demi could use a friend; she was headlining for the first time, a stadium tour on parts of it. Dianna needed the distance. Unbenowist to Dianna, Demi was checking in with Dr. Manning weekly, sometimes twice a week, to make sure she was doing and saying the right things. Lea was also doing the same, and got finally got Beth to actually go in, to resume therapy, albeit solo.
It was when the tour hit Dallas that two miraculous things happened. First, Dianna, being the quiet observer that she was, caught the fact that Demi's promoter was skimming a little bit more than his fair share off the top. Demi's lawyers quickly determined that he owed her close to 1.2 million dollars from this fiscal year alone.
He was charged with many counts of different embezzling crimes, lightening fast, as New York was the parent state of the crimes... and, let's face it, Demi had an "in" with the D.A.'s office there. When Santana had sawed him a new asshole the next week, Demi hugged Dianna, whispering in her ear, "what would I do without you, Diamond D?"
Dianna felt an unfamiliar twinge in her gut as their hug lasted just a fraction too long. Dianna kissed her temple, and said, "well, you'd be $1.2 million poorer, that's for sure."
"So...I heard Quinn want you to go back to L.A. and then New York to do some press with her, to gear up for the opening."
"Yes," Dianna said, carefully. "Beth has to go back to her residency, and well..."
"You're hot, and young. I get it." She chuckled.
Dianna blushed.
"Well, you're pretty good at looking after my shit, D. I trust you. You're welcome to stay in my apartment in California and New York...either. For as long as you need. I'm going to be on tour for a while longer, anyway."
Dianna's eyes bugged out. "What?"
"Yeah, for real."
"Wow, that...would be great, Demi. Really."
She hugged the grateful blonde, again. She whispered in her ear, "the one condition is, you have to change the blue apple in my fridge. The last kept woman I had forgot, and I had to let her go."
Dianna laughed. Pulling away to look at her friend, Dianna said, "okay, so, I have to ask...are you sure you're straight? Cause, you know, this feels awfully proposition-y." Dianna teased.
"I am absolutely 100% straight. So don't worry, your pussy is safe with me, Di."
They laughed, and hugged. Dianna said into the ear of her friend, "While I promise to faithfully change your blue apple, I do have to point out the obvious...there is no such thing as one hundred percent. That doesn't really exist, dear."
Demi guffawed, ignoring the strange butterflies in her stomach, that day, in Texas.
XOXOXOXO
The second strange thing that happened when Demi did her Dallas tour was that Lea and Beth were celebrating their last day of filming. It was bittersweet, as Lea knew it meant Beth was donning her scrubs again, to disappear into the land of medicine in Boston.
They were eating Asian, on Beth's futon on the floor in her apartment, and going through mail, reading email, and just kind of doing nothing...together. Beth noticed the rather official looking letter that she missed on the first pass. Opening it, her jaw fell open.
"Lea..." She said, her voice, shaking.
"What is it?" She said, alarmed.
"I...got it."
"Got what?"
"The fellowship spot."
"What?" Lea yelled excitedly , jumping up and down. "No fucking way!"
Beth was speechless, looking mutely at the paper in her hand. Lea, however, was a whiz of emotion and had already dialed Rachel and Quinn.
"Hello? Quinn? Guess what? Your daughter, you know, Beth? Yes, that one. Well your daughter is the first female ever to be selected as a transplant surgery fellow at UCLA! NO SHIT!"
Beth heard the squeal through the phone on the other end. Beth pulled the receiver out of Lea's excited hand. Calmly, she spoke into the receiver.
"Hi, Mom. Yep, you can call people. No, I haven't told anyone. No, I haven't gotten ahold of Shelby, she and Puck are in Prague right now. Listen, if you tell anyone, please tell them we're not going to be available, cause I have to do something-what? Aren't you nosey! Well, mom, if you have to know, what I "have to do" is to remove Lea's clothing, and make love to her for roughly the next four hours until she passes out, fully satisfied, if you must know. Any more questions?"
Beth giggled. "Okay, then, nice talking to you, too. See you tomorrow."
Lea was laughing. "Well, that was rude!"
"Maybe," acknowledged Beth. "But it was also...true."
And she leaned over, and kissed her girlfriend, slowly. Beth suddenly realized she wasn't anxious; she felt like she had no where else to be, other than exactly where she was, in that moment in time.
And it felt pretty damn good, actually.
TBC.
A/N: There are two more epilogues left, FYI.
