EPOV
It's been three months, four days, and seven hours since Bella left Forks.
I remember our last conversation just like it was yesterday.
The way we stood on Charlie's front porch, and the raindrops pelting against the roof as background noise.
Whenever I would close my eyes, I can still see the hurt and anguish on her face, the slight tremble in her frame.
I hated that I was the reason these expressions were etched on her face, especially when I cannot do anything about it.
I have caused it, and now I have to endure it.
I clenched my eyes shut as the ache in my chest throbbed, reminding me that she's not here anymore.
You're a jerk, Edward.
I know, alright. Of course, I know.
I tried calling her a few times, maybe twice or thrice, but each and every time landed me to her voicemail.
It was a clear sign to me and I didn't hold it against her at all.
I released a deep sigh and opened my eyes as I heard the door opening. My eyes immediately went to the direction of the door and I was surprised to see the startling blue eyes staring back at me.
I straightened a little in my chair and my hands automatically went to my tie, fumbling with it as Rosalie walked across the room as if she owned the place.
"Rose?" I asked, my brow furrowing at her.
"Hello, Edward," Rosalie said, rolling her eyes at me.
I watched as she went straight to the chair in front of my desk, plopping herself down before I could utter another word.
"Yes, please make yourself comfortable, Rose," I muttered sarcastically under my breath.
"Oh cut the crap, Eddie," she snapped.
"Well, to what do I owe this pleasure to?" I asked her, my voice dripping with mockery.
Rosalie arched a perfectly trimmed eyebrow at me, her lips pursing in contempt.
"You know what, Edward?" she started, her tone conceding, "you've been a piece of shit lately,"
I winced slightly at her words, especially when they hit right at the target.
I am a piece of shit, especially as of late.
"Can you tell me something new? Because I'm pretty sure I know that now," I told her, my own eyebrow arching at her in challenge.
Rosalie sighed, closing her eyes as if to gather herself. I turned back to the paperwork in front of me, my mind quickly shutting off anything that doesn't have anything to do with work.
Focus, Edward. Focus on your job. It's the only thing you've got going right now.
A few more silent minutes passed by as Rose just sat there, her eyes watching every breath I take. Her stare was unnerving, and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as she penetrated me with her gaze.
I was just about to open my mouth to tell her to stop when she spoke first.
"What are you doing, Edward?" she asked, the fight in her voice suddenly lost.
"What do you mean what am I doing?" I asked in confusion, "I'm working, Rose,"
"You know that's not what I mean, shithead," she snapped at me, her bark returning.
"Then what are you exactly asking for?" I asked her, even though I have a feeling about what she wants to talk about.
"Why did you let Bella leave?" Rose asked, her eyes focusing on mine intently.
I swallowed audibly before I took a deep breath, my eyes moving past her shoulders as I looked over at the blank wall behind her.
I thought back to that day again, my heart clenching painfully in my chest for a minute.
"Let her go, Edward," Charlie said, "Let my daughter go. Let Bella live her life without you in the shadows."
I sat in shock as I let Charlie's words sink in.
Let her go?
How could I let her go again?
"It might be the best for her, Rose," I whispered lowly, my head unconsciously lowering back to my lap.
"Bullshit," she said, "You and I both know that that's not the reason."
"Rose," I said exasperatedly, "what do you want me to say? That I wanted Bella to stay? Of course I did, I do. But…"
"What?" Rose asked, her eyes almost bulging out of her sockets.
If the situation hadn't been serious, I would have laughed off at her expression. But lately, I haven't found anything funny, or worth anything at all.
"I just…" I trailed off, not knowing how to proceed with my thoughts.
Let her go, Edward.
You've done enough damage to last a lifetime.
Let her live her life without you in it.
The way Charlie looked at me as he stood in the rain was frightening in itself.
I quickly scrambled to get out of the car, the raindrops catching in my hair as it fell from the sky.
I gulped down the dryness in my throat, the heat of anger radiating off of Charlie as we settled on the hood of the Volvo.
"I heard that you had fucked someone else," Charlie said gruffly, his tone menacing as the anger became more apparent.
I flinched at his words, the effects of my stupid mistake making itself more apparent.
"I'm sorry," I whispered under my breath, my eyes trailed on the mud on my shoes.
"Don't apologize to me," he said, "but do me a favor, Edward. Stay away from my daughter,"
"Charlie?" I asked dumbly, my mind not yet processing the words that tumbled out of his mouth.
"Let her go, Edward," he said, "Let my daughter go. Let Bella live her life without you in the shadows."
My head snapped up at his words, my eyes automatically going to the second floor.
I caught sight of Bella looking out at us through her bedroom window. She looked pale against the darkness shrouding her figure, I thought mindlessly.
She quickly looked away from me, her form quivering form my view.
After the initial shock of seeing her standing by her window, I felt my lips tug into a small, tentative, involuntary smile. Bella smiled back at me, the action doing wonders to the thudding in my chest.
I watched in slight disappointment as Bella slowly retreated from her window, letting the shadows behind swallow her figure.
Would she want to be free from me?
Could I let her go again?
I thought back to my actions from months ago, how reckless I've been.
With Irina. With Bree.
Everything that I have done lately have come back to bite me in the ass. And I deserved it.
I was stupid, thinking that I get to bid my time. I thought that I deserved to test out the waters, figure out what I really want.
I know that Bella doesn't deserve any of the burdens I've unloaded on her, so maybe this will be the best for her.
To be finally free to live her life without me.
The thought pains me, but I find myself nodding at Charlie.
Agreeing with him.
Accepting that I'll remove myself from Bella's life.
Maybe give her the peace that she deserves.
Charlie clapped me on the back suddenly, shaking me out of my thoughts.
I didn't have time to react as he quickly stepped away from me. I just watched him as he crossed the street again and went in.
I stood in the rain for a few more seconds, my mind still coming to terms that I'm bound to leave Bella alone.
Rose cleared her throat loudly from across my desk, startling me out of my mind.
I looked at her with wide eyes, the ringing in my ears being chased away as I remembered where I was.
"Earth to Edward," Rose said, her eyes rolling at me again.
"I'm sorry, I just dozed off for a while," I said sheepishly, embarrassed that I have forgotten about her presence in the room.
"You sure did," she chuckled lightly, before clearing her throat again.
I watched as Rose composed herself, her face becoming serious in a matter of seconds.
"What are you doing, Edward?" she asked, her brows wrinkling in concern.
"I don't know," I mumbled, "I just don't know anymore, Rose,"
"Do you love her?" Rosalie asked quietly, almost inaudibly that I nearly missed it.
"Yes," I told her.
Of course.
I've always loved her. Even when I'm with someone else.
Even when I'm doing stupid things, I've always loved her even then.
"Is it enough?" she asked, her eyes gazing straight at mine.
Is it enough?
Is love really enough for us?
"I don't know, Rose," I said, "after everything I've gotten Bella through, would it be enough?"
I looked at Rose for guidance, my eyes pleading with her to assure me.
I wanted her to assure me that it will be enough.
I wanted it to be enough for us, for Bella and me.
"You've made a huge mess of things, Edward," Rose told me, her expression scolding.
"I know," I nodded at her, my head automatically bowing down.
"You might have to fight for everything to get to Bella again," she added, her tone condescending.
"Yeah," I agreed with her, already thinking of Charlie's wrath.
"But hey, if it's worth it, like really worth it, then why not, right?" Rosalie asked as she smiled slightly at me.
It's worth it, I know it is.
And this time, I am willing to go fight for it.
AN: Thank you for reading!
