Okay so I looked up Bones' history when looking for the name of his wife in the alternate reality, she apparently wasn't named so I kept her as the original; Jocelyn. However, it appears that Bones and his wife did not have a daughter in the alternate reality - and that I am completely unsure of. So does anyone actually know whether Bones has a daughter in the 2009 movie and Into Darkness?
Also, I will be getting on a plane tomorrow morning so tomorrow's chapter will be put up early tomorrow morning.
It had been a week since last Ellie'd seen him, but now the machines around him were beeping loud and fast to show he was stable – yet he was still not awake.
"It may take some time but he's waking up," Bones assured her, knowing as a doctor she was thinking of all the horrible reasons for why Jim wouldn't.
Ellie nodded, feeling tears knotting themselves in her throat, swelling behind her eyes. "Can you call me when he does?" she asked looking up at him, her blue eyes looking lost. "After you've checked him over?"
Bones stared down at her knowing the waiting was killing her, but there was nothing they could but wait. "Sure," he told her squeezing her shoulder.
She cast one last look to Jim lying unconscious in the bed before turning on her heel and leaving.
Bones sighed as he watched her go, hating everything about what he had to do. "Hey," Bones said when Scotty answered the call. "She's gonna need you."
Scotty found her in the nearest bar, holding a shot of tequila she hadn't yet taken. "You gonna drink that?" he asked and she answered by sliding the glass toward him.
"You want another?" the bartender asked.
Ellie shook her head caught between wanting to drown everything in tequila and not thinking she should, in case Jim woke soon. She didn't know what she was so upset over, Jim was waking up – his vitals were strong, his brain activity normal. She looked over at Scotty, opening her mouth to say she was ready to go when she realized it – it wasn't Jim.
Jim was waking up, everything would be right in the world. Only Ellie was caught between two guys she cared too much about, Jim waking up wouldn't fix that; instead, him being awake would make her have to choose. She didn't want to.
"You wanna talk about it?"
Ellie looked over at Scotty surprised, thinking he knew what was going through her head and was relieved to see he didn't. "I just don't wanna keep waiting," she answered. "I want him awake," she said feeling the threat of tears once again. "I just want him awake."
"Hey," Scotty said wrapping an arm around her. "He's gonna wake up. And do you know what he's gonna do?" Scotty asked her.
"What?" she asked looking up at him.
"He's gonna make fun of you for crying over him," Scotty told her making her smile in spite of herself. "I'm serious, he's gonna say 'Ellie,'" Scotty said putting on his best american accent to impersonate Jim, making Ellie laugh.
"Stop," she laughed smacking his arm. "Don't make me laugh." She continued laughing softly, leaning against Scotty who was smiling amused. She stopped a short while later, laying her head on his shoulder, taking the comfort he could offer. You make this so hard, she thought; and he did, he was kind and sweet, and cared for her more than anyone had in a while. So why can't I love you? The answer was simple: Bones.
They sat at the bar for a while eating the complementary nuts, Ellie still not drinking in the case Jim woke up that day – knowing if she took even a sip she wouldn't stop until she passed out. "Hello?" she answered when her communicator rang. "Really?" she asked sitting up, her feet having been in Scotty's lap. "I'll be right there."
"Jim awake?" Scotty asked as he held her sweater for her to put her arms through.
"Yeah, Bones said he checked out fine," she answered tying the sweater around her before making for the door.
"How do you plan on getting back to the hospital?" Scotty asked walking quickly behind her.
"I could take a shuttle bus," she said though that was not what she had in mind, in all honesty she hadn't really thought before she'd done it.
"I could drive you," Scotty offered kindly. He stopped when she did and began rifling through his pockets for his keys, until he saw them in Ellie's outstretched hand. "Thief," he said before snatching them out of her hand, and she did her best to hide her smile before she got in his new car.
Ellie sat in the seat beside Scotty ready to blow a fuse, her fingers tapping an irritated beat as he drove. "My cousin just woke up from being dead and you're driving the speed limit?" she demanded rudely.
Scotty looked at her appalled before turning back to the road. "Would you rather we get pulled over?" he asked her and she huffed sitting back impatiently.
She threw her seatbelt off before he'd pulling into a parking spot, hopping out of the car when he'd found one. In all honesty she was scared, there had been a thought in the back of her mind for two weeks – a thought with Khan's voice – that said Jim would never wake up.
Something Bones knew, and he was waiting outside of Jim's room for her. "He's fine," he said before she could ask. "You can go see him, but first," he said before tying a scarf around her neck to cover the fading bruises.
That was what Scotty came upon, Bones fixing the scarf over her throat and Ellie staring up at him disgruntled. "There," Bones said when he'd masked them, taking a step back. Ellie stared up at him, her eyes hard and impatient, before she shook her head rolling her eyes and entered the room.
"Hey," Jim said smiling tiredly when he saw her.
"Hey," she said back as she sat beside him on the bed, taking the hand he offered her. "How are you feeling?"
"Like crap," he admitted, closing his eyes when he felt her fingertips smooth over his brow. "I l-"
"No," she said cutting him off before he could finish. "I wanna say it first."
"Okay," he said softly smiling. He laid there feeling sleep settling around him, but she said nothing. "Are you not gonna say it?"
She stared down at him, running her thumb along his knuckles as she thought. "How did you know for three years and not tell me?"
He looked at her surprised, his heart breaking that she knew. "How'd you know?"
"Bones," she said looking down.
"He shouldn't have told you," Jim said, not understanding why Bones had. "You shouldn't have to know."
"He didn't mean to say it," she said in Bones' defense.
Jim shook his head. "That makes no difference," he told her.
Ellie shrugged, squeezing his hand – seeing he was tired. "We're talking again," she offered placatingly.
Jim looked up at where she sat beside him, seeing she wasn't upset – she was understanding.
"I think he does love you," Jim told her softly, having seen the proof too many times to deny it.
Bones was surprised at hearing that, having come in the room a minute before, wondering how Jim knew. "I know," he heard Ellie reply just as quietly, admitting she knew too.
"You should rest," she told him, stroking his cheek soothingly when she saw his eyes drooping closed. "I love you," she whispered as she bent to kiss his cheek, seeing he had already fallen back unconscious. She sat by his side for a while longer before she stood and turned to the door to see Bones, who had stayed for her the whole time.
He looked down at her as she came to stop in front of him. "You okay?" he asked her gently.
Ellie bit her lip as she nodded. "I had a whole conversation with him," she said. "I didn't cry once."
"Well good," Bones told her, placing his hand on her arm. The moment he touched her tears flooded her eyes and her chin quivered. "Okay," he said as he pulled her into his arms, running his hands along her back soothingly.
"I can't do this," she said without further explanation, and though it hurt him to understand he still did.
"I won't ask you to," he said in return, holding her for as long as she needed before she pulled away.
She stared up at him regretfully, not wanting him to let her go; and that was exactly why she needed to leave. Because he was right, she wasn't his to love; not at the time.
Five days later
The last day Bones had seen Ellie had been the day after Jim woke when he cleared her for surgery. At least that had been the last day he spoke to her. He saw her all the time when she was with Jim but he kept his distance; giving her the space she'd asked for, even if he did miss her. It was funny, he hadn't ached to have her near him the last three years, but now he couldn't even breathe without thinking of her. He couldn't ever remember feeling like this with Jocelyn, like she was a drug he was addicted to.
So when he saw Ellie at the end of a hall filling out a patient's charts she was discharging, he couldn't resist coming to sit beside her. "You hidin'" he asked.
Ellie looked up from her patient's charts and gave him an irritated look. "If I have to smile and say I'm fine one more time after someone asks how I'm doing after my "mugging," she said making air quotes, "I'm gonna hurt someone."
Bones tried to keep his face placid, knowing Ellie may very well hit him, but he was having a hard time of that.
"And since chief Sullivan has declared I can't put my hands in a person's body cavity until my new psychiatrist clears me, I wouldn't be able to do surgery on them if I did stab them in the face like I want to," she grumbled leaning back against the wall, not yet ready to admit she had missed him too; though unlike him she had missed him over the three years, a thought that made her sigh.
"So you're having a good day then," Bones said and gave a loud short laugh at her glare. "I'm sorry," he said as his laughter faded, a smile twitching on her frowning lips. It was the closest he'd come to apologizing since Scotty had exploded on him, something he had tried so hard to come up with the right words to say only to find out there weren't any. Even Jim had demanded it, enlightening Bones that Ellie wouldn't ask it of him – not when she now understood why he had done it; but this had never been Bones' strong suit.
"You're not dispensable," he told her quietly, uncomfortable with having to talk about any of this at all; wishing he could do what he and Ellie had been doing, just going with it.
Ellie turned to him shocked at what had come out of his mouth. "What?" she asked timidly.
"You're not," he started and shook his head before trying again. "I'm s-" again he stopped not happy with what he was saying, not thinking it enough for her. "I didn't, you were." He couldn't seem to find anything good enough to say to her, to explain himself.
All the while Ellie sat beside him, feeling the heat of his arm from where they touched, listening to him stumble over his words. "You don't have a metaphor for me?" she asked almost teasingly and Bones gave her a look.
"No," he answered. "I don't have anything for you," he admitted taking her by surprise. He brushed her hair back and ran his thumb over the scarred line her surgery had left hidden beneath her hair. "I didn't want to love you," he told her surprising her even more. "I could see it happening, even then I think. And it scared the hell outta me, cause I didn't want," he stopped again.
"Bones," she said wrapping her hand around his arm, his thumb still tracing the new scar.
"I wasn't ready," he said as though he didn't hear or feel her. "I wasn't ready for someone new, and I sure as hell wasn't ready for it to be you."
She pushed his arm away trying to make him stop, not ready to hear this. "Bones," she said again to interrupt him.
"So when Jim told me you were supposed to," he said breaking off at the end, refusing to stop now that he'd started talking and also refusing to finish that particular sentence. "I ran away," he admitted. "And I don't think an apology will ever be enough."
Just because she didn't want to hear this did nothing, she still heard it; she had been waiting to see if Bones would apologize, if he would be the better man – and now she knew he was, and that changed everything. "I guess you'll just have to show me," she said softly and he gave her a smile before standing, offering her a hand and pulling her up along with him.
She wasn't expecting it, which is what Bones had been counting on – he hadn't entirely been expecting it either, but there was no other way for him to show her. It amazed him how well he remembered the feel of her lips on his, and he was left wondering if there were other parts of her his body remembered just as clearly.
"What does it say about you that I tried so hard not to love you, and I've ended up loving you anyway?" he asked her before leaving her to lean against the wall with tears in her eyes.
The look on her face was so forlorn, the tears so heavy in her eyes, that Scotty couldn't be angry that she'd kissed Bones back – he could see the pain before he reached her. He wiped the tear from her cheek. "I think it's time we talk."
Lola: well thanks, I'm glad you understood. And that you liked the last chapter.
