May 1996-November 1996

Her twenty sixth birthday involved two parties. She loved that her friends had decided to throw her a surprise party and was happy that they had invited all the people who worked at Central Perk to make it seem like she had other friends outside the group. Her sisters had decided that they couldn't make it. Jill went to Spain with a group of friends and Amy had traveled to Scotland with her newest boyfriend. That didn't really surprise her though. Ever since she had run out on Barry, there had been a rift, a distance between her and her sisters because she was obviously living a very different life than they were. She had chosen a completely different path, one neither Jill nor Amy seemed to understand. What she hated was that her parents needed to be separated. Her dad stayed in the guys apartment, her mom in her apartment and her friends made sure they didn't cross paths. It killed her that this is what it now came down to, separate rooms.

"This is it," Rachel said as Chandler sat on the steps in the hall between their two apartments. She had been sitting, needing a break when Chandler opened the door to his apartment. He smiled and sat next to her. "This is how my life is going to be now, right. My parents in separate rooms? How do you deal with it? How did you get used to it?"

"Well….inappropriate jokes helped and heavy drinking and-"

"Chandler, please."

"They're not right for each other, my parents. My dad is gay and my mother writes erotic novels. I mean, yeah, it was difficult and it took awhile but sometimes they're better apart than they are together."

"We had good times though. I remember boat trips. Those boat trips were fun and….I remember the Fourth of July. We would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks and huddle together and we were a family, you know. Yeah, my parents bickered sometimes and my sisters and I would try to outdo each other but we were still a family. We were the family that had these amazing parties or would go on these trips and...I'm gonna miss be a family."

"I know."

Rachel let out a sigh as Chandler put his arm around her. She fell into him as he gently kissed the top of her head.

"I hate this," Rachel said.

"I know that too."

She let out a sigh as she kept thinking about her parents, her life, her twenty sixth birthday. She was four years from thirty and she was a waitress with divorced parents. She didn't have any other friends outside of Monica, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and Ross and while she loved them and would be thankful for them forever and ever, it made her a little sad that she was the only one who no longer had friends from her past. She was only relying on them and when it came her parents and sisters and everything just seemed so foreign to her...so no longer part of her world.

The day after her birthday, she was back at work. She was serving coffee, taking orders and trying to provide service with a smile or at the very least, provide service without killing others.

"Okay, I'm on my break, you need to take care of that table," Sarah, another waitress, sauntered towards her. Sarah was twenty six as well, long red hair and pale white skin.

"I do?" Rachel asked.

"Yes and you will love me. It is the most awkward first date ever," Sarah said.

Rachel grinned as she looked at the guy and girl sitting at the love seat table by the window.

"But that's not possible….that's not Chandler," Rachel said, teasing her friend who of course was well known by all for his ability to turn any date into a painfully awkward encounter.

"No, no...that makes Chandler seem like your friend, Joey."

"Noooo," Rachel said.

"Uh-huh," Sarah said as Rachel grabbed her pad and walked toward the couple. She had to suppress a smile as she overheard the man talking about something strange and the woman looked very uncomfortable. She walked back towards Sarah who was grinning wildly at her.

"Oh my G-d," Rachel said.

"I know."

"I...wow..." Rachel said.

"You're so lucky you have a boyfriend," Sarah said. "So what's the worst date you've ever had?"

"Rachel has never had a bad date, are you kidding?" Gary, another waiter, said overhearing the conversation.

"I have too," Rachel said. "The date I had when I made the drunken call to Ross, well that was bad."

"Honey, that was bad for him," Gary said.

"Yeah, you're his worst date ever," Sarah grinned.

"Yeah, probably," Rachel said.

"Rachel, honey," Sandra Green said as she wandered into Central Perk. Rachel looked rather shocked to see her mom as she walked towards to give her a = hug before sitting with her at a table.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I had such a lovely time at your birthday party and I was thinking, we should do speed dating," Sandra said.

"What?"

"Well, I heard about it and I just think-"

"Mom, I have a boyfriend."

"Who?"

"Ross?"

"Oh, yes...but honey, he's...he smokes and he...his behavior at your birthday party was just-"

"Mom... dad was there yesterday. Chandler and Joey decided at the last moment to have a party in their apartment too so that they could separate you and dad. All five of them spent the entire party keeping you in different rooms...that is why Ross had all of dad's stuff."

"Oh."

"Look, mom, I can't….I know you wanna have this whole separate life but-"

"It looks like you have so much fun."

"I do...but it's hard."

But Sandra Green didn't seem to listen and it made Rachel rather sad to hear how her mom now wanted to live like her but as Sandra continued to talk, Rachel tuned it out. She hated the change, all of the change but at the very least it seemed like she was beginning to make friends. Her co-workers, Sarah and Gary, were awesome and fun to work with. They made her days bearable. She was truly hating her job. There was part of her that wanted to make a change as well. Her relationship with Ross was going strong but that dream job, that fashion job. It was still out of reach.

"It's the interview process. I'm a horrible interview," Rachel said over drinks with Sarah and Gary. They had invited her to a happy hour after their shift and she jumped at the chance to actually hang out somewhere besides Central Perk.

"I'm sure you're fine," Sarah said.

"I'm really bad. The fact that I got hired at Central Perk is a miracle."

"Hey, your friend….question about him," Gary said.

"What? Which one?" Rachel asked, a little confused.

"The skinny dude?" Gary asked.

"Chandler?" Rachel asked, knowing unfortunately who he was referring to because Chandler seemed to be getting thinner and thinner. He looked sick.

"I wanted to ask about him, too. He doesn't look well. Is he okay? 'Cause I kinda thought he was funny and cute but he looks really sick," Sarah said.

"I don't know….I don't...I don't feel comfortable talking about it but wait, Sarah, you think he's cute?" Rachel asked.

"I do….I did but is he sick?"

"I don't think so," Rachel said but the wheels in her head began spinning. Chandler was getting tinier and tinier. She knew Monica was getting worried and so was she, so were all of them. She came up with an idea. Maybe that would work, setting him up with someone.

When she got home that night, Chandler was in their apartment with Ross and Monica watching television. She walked towards Ross and gave him a kiss before plopping down on his lap.

"How was your happy hour?" Monica asked.

"Awesome," Rachel said.

"So are you happy you now have friends outside the six of us," Chandler said.

"You want friends outside the six of us?" Ross asked.

"Yes, I do," Rachel said.

"Why?" Ross asked.

"We're not good enough for her," Chandler grinned.

"No. No, not at all. Okay, you guys all have friends outside of our group. I have no one. Seriously, I don't think you guys get it. I lost every friend I had when I ran out on my wedding. You guys had to invite your friends to my birthday. Come on," Rachel groaned. "Although, um, Chandler….I do have something to ask you."

"What?" Chandler asked.

"My new friend….and co-worker….Sarah-"

"Which one is Sarah?" Ross asked.

"She's the redheaded waitress. Really cute….can I set you up with her?" Rachel asked.

"Oh….I don't know," Chandler said.

"Why not?" Rachel asked.

"I don't….I don't know...just-"

"She's cute," Ross said.

"It might be nice," Monica said.

"I'm gonna go...I gotta do something," Chandler said, looking uncomfortable. He stood up and walked out the door. Rachel could feel her heart drop. Ross wrapped her arms around her tighter. Monica gave her a weak smile.

"He's not well," Rachel said.

"No. He's not," Monica said.

"I thought that maybe if I set him up, he might...I don't know. Is he gonna be okay?"

"He will, we will make sure he's okay," Ross said.

"I never even knew Brian was addicted to anything. He never got thin like Chandler or anything...I don't what I'm supposed to do," Rachel said.

"We've been through it before….we'll do it again," Monica said as Rachel let out a sigh, She wished she could do something. "By the way, Rach. Richard was invited to Mindy's wedding. I'm his plus one."

"Seriously?" Rachel asked, her mouth dropping.

"I so don't wanna go. I hate Mindy and I hate all those girls," Monica groaned.

"You have to go. Come on, please."

"I can't….no," Monica said. "Those girls made my life miserable."

"Nancy won't be there and...Sharon might and….and-well, you didn't know our friends from college but...please?" Rachel asked.

"If I'm going, you're going," Ross said.

"Exactly. Ross is my plus one."

"Hmmm, if I go as Richard's plus one, what am I getting from you?" Monica asked.

"Wh-what?" Rachel asked, not sure what she was saying.

"All throughout high school, you would said crap like that….'oh, they're my friends', 'oh you don't understand'...I invited them to my Bat Mitzvah and they all stood around and mooed me."

"I made ten bucks at your Bat Mitzvah," Ross grinned.

"How?" Monica asked.

"Nancy did actually bet me twenty bucks to dance with Ross but I made the stupid mistake of telling Ross that and I had to give him half," Rachel said.

"Easiest ten bucks ever made," Ross grinned as Rachel playfully elbowed him.

"Wait, and if you're Richard's plus one shouldn't he be doing something for you?" Rachel asked.

"No. I'm going to a wedding of a girl who made me miserable and made you miserable but you were too big of a coward to admit it," Monica said.

"I admitted it," Rachel argued.

"In 1994," Monica said.

"Better late than never. Monica, come on...I'm not dumping you for them. I'm not gonna just decide to be their friend. I need support this time. I'm walking in there and...she's marrying Barry….and you saw my dress? I think that's punishment enough, don't you think?"

"That is a hideous dress. Okay, Rach."

"And after….I will take you shopping and buy you whatever you want that is under fifty bucks," Rachel grinned.

"You got it," Monica grinned.

The wedding of Mindy and Barry was getting closer and closer and Rachel was dreading it more and more. The dress Mindy was making her wear was hideous. She had contemplated asking Mindy if she could design her own but decided not to although she did feel she would no doubt make something so much better. She did, however, help Monica with her dress. Monica's one request was that she look hot so Rachel designed a dress for her instead which was kind of fun. It was flowery and tight and looked good. It was the one thing that provided Rachel with any sort of happiness when it came to the wedding as she felt the whole thing was bizarre.

"I am in hell," Rachel grumbled to Ross as they walked into the ceremony the day of the wedding. She felt so uncomfortable.

"You look beautiful," Ross said.

"Ross, come on...you got me. Shut up. Stop trying to kiss up."

"Fine….Princess Bubble Yum," Ross grinned.

"That's Chandler's joke. Think of your own."

"But Chandler is so much better at making fun of you than I am."

"That is true," Rachel said. She would make the best of it, she had to as there really was no other choice.

"Rachel, how nice of you to come," Alice, Barry's mom, approached them along with Jared, Barry's dad. Rachel nodded at Alice and Jared. She had not seen them since running out on her wedding. She hugged them both and grinned.

"I'm the Maid of Honor so….yeah, had to," Rachel said.

"Well, it is nice of you to show up and hopefully you'll stay this time, after all it's not everyday our only son gets married," Jared said, "oh, wait…maybe the only wedding of his you'll stay at."

"Yeah, funny...wait, only son?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," Alice said.

"What about Brian?" Rachel asked.

"Brian?" Alice asked.

"Was that another wedding you ran out on?" Jared asked, grinning from ear to ear. Rachel was unbelievably confused. She wasn't sure what was going on. Jared and Alice had two children, two sons….at least that's what she thought. Did Brian's death mean he stopped existing in their eyes?

"No, your other son," Rachel said.

"We never had a son named, Brian. You must be confused," Alice said, patting Rachel's hand.

"Oh, honey, look," Jared said, pointing off to the side towards some random wedding guests. Alice looked to where Jared was pointing and without saying anything, they disappeared. Rachel looked at Ross, her mouth dropping in sheer shock. She looked around and saw Barry standing with their old friend, Alex. Rachel walked towards them with Ross following behind.

"Barry," Rachel said.

"You look like Pepto Bismol," Alex teased.

"Thanks, Alex. Um, Bar….I just talked to your parents and they seem to think they only have one son. Brian might be gone but-"

"We don't talk about him," Barry said. "He no longer exists."

"What? He did exist," Rachel said. "He existed to me."

"'Cause you hooked up with him," Alex said.

"I'm gonna kick you in the head," Rachel said.

"We don't talk about him. We don't mention him. Just don't talk about him….at all. I'm gonna go," Barry said as he and Alex walked off. Rachel turned and looked at Ross, stunned.

"He was right. Brian was right," Rachel said.

"Maybe it's too painful for them?" Ross asked.

"No, no...he used to say his parents would disown him if he came out and that his prison was worse than mine and that he….oh my G-d. He was their child. How do you forget your child exists?"

"I don't know."

"You would have liked him Ross. Chandler would have liked him. He was funny and sweet….so kind...I probably would've hooked up with him if he liked me in that way."

"Well….that's nice," Ross said.

"Alright, you go find Monica and Richard. I should probably go find Mindy and the rest of her bridal party," Rachel said as she gave Ross a kiss and walked off towards Mindy's dressing room. She knew Sharon would be there, Kiki, Joanne and Leslie would be as well. No one really knew where Nancy and Melissa were anymore, not that Rachel cared. She didn't. She had forgone as many activities as she could, despite her Maid of Honor role. She had planned an engagement party she couldn't attend, a bachelorette party that she suddenly had to back out of but this final thing….well that was the one thing she could not back out of.

"You look beautiful," Mindy said as Rachel walked into the dressing room.

"It's like deja vu," Joanne grinned.

"It so is….haven't we done this already?" Kiki asked.

"Well, Rach are you planning on staying?" Joanne asked.

"I do wish you had come to my bachelorette party," Mindy said.

"That would have been weird," Rachel said.

"Monicow is here….that's weird," Sharon said.

"'Cause she's dating Richard Burke," Mindy said.

"Ewww, Monicow is a desperate cow," Sharon said.

"Okay, you have got to stop calling her that," Rachel said.

"You know, you invented the nickname," Sharon said.

"I was six and she is no longer heavy," Rachel said.

"Is it true you're dating also Geek Geller?" Sharon asked.

"Ross? Yes, I am dating Ross Geller...and to be honest, I love him far more than I ever loved Barry. He's sweet, smart, funny….he's amazing and no, he's not a geek. He's Ross. He's my lobster," Rachel grinned.

"Your what?" Kiki asked.

"Never mind," Rachel said.

"This is an amazing day. I'm getting married and Rachel, thank you for being my Maid of Honor and I really hope you don't run out," Mindy said.

"Same here. I plan on staying though," Rachel said and it was a promise she would reluctantly keep. She would have to keep it, no matter how painful and hard it would be and it was hard. She and Barry had been together for a long time, almost seven years and he was now marrying her former best friend. All of this seemed so bizarre and it made her more thankful for Ross, thankful for his support. Thankful he would not let her completely embarrass herself and she was thankful for Monica. Having the Gellers there made it perfect although the ending was not so perfect.

She had been dancing with Ross when she noticed Monica step away from Richard, with tears in her eyes. She turned and walked out of the room. Richard looked despondent as well, Rachel stepped back and looked at Ross.

"They just broke up," Rachel said.

"What?" Ross asked looking back towards Richard. Rachel walked out of the room and saw Monica sitting on the steps of the hotel, crying. Rachel sat next to her and put her arm around Monica.

"He doesn't want anymore children. I want kids and he doesn't and it's over...it's...oh my G-d," Monica cried as Rachel held her.

"Sweetie," Rachel kept her arm around Monica.

"Maybe I don't need to have children?"

"Yes, you do. Monica Geller was put on this Earth to be on a mom. You need to have children."

"But I wanted them to be with Richard."

"I know."

"This is the worst wedding ever."

"I know."

Monica kept crying as Rachel hugged her. Her heart broke for Monica. This was going to be rough, incredibly rough. Soon, Ross joined them, sitting on the other side of Monica as the two continued to comfort her. They would eventually walk off, headed towards home. Rachel wasn't used to being the one to take care of Monica, it was always the other way around but this time, but she would do her best. She would listen, offer Twinkies and be there. She would try her best.

It was a rough six months. Incredibly rough and just as Monica seemed to feel better, Chandler crashed. He had begun a relationship with Janice again which Rachel hoped would help Chandler feel better even if he kept getting thinner and thinner but when Chandler's relationship with Janice ended, Rachel got scared. He was rail thin, she felt like she could break him.

After Chandler and Janice broke up, Rachel was making the slow death smoothies, Joey was looking through movies and Monica and Ross were arguing over whether or not they needed to do an intervention.

"He's not ready for one," Ross argued.

"He's too thin. He's on drugs and now with him and Janice broken up…Ross, he needs an intervention," Monica said.

"He's not ready. He'll disappear," Ross said.

"I'm gonna go get him," Phoebe said, "I'll bring a box of pizza to lure him over. I can talk to him."

Phoebe grabbed one of the many pizza boxes and walked out, leaving Ross and Monica to argue at the kitchen table as Rachel was making the slow death smoothies although there was part of her that wondered if she should be making something without alcohol.

"He's on something," Monica said.

"I know, but we can't-"

"I'll throw out stuff," Joey said, looking up from the movies.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Well, when I lived with my buddy Shane he was hooked on drugs and I just started to flush stuff down the toilet when he wasn't home," Joey said.

"How did that work?" Ross asked.

"Well...he died but-"

"Oh my G-d," Monica said.

Rachel let that sink in. She remembered something, that night that she and Brian had run into Joey at that New York Fashion Week After Party. She remembered Joey mentioning something about his friend having just died. That image was immediately replaced by Brian lying on the floor, dead from an overdose.

"He's not going to die," Ross said.

"I can't-I can't lose him. I just got over Richard and that was hard I can't….if I lose Chandler, I don't know….I just don't wanna lose him. I can't. I'm not strong enough," Monica cried as Joey and Rachel immediately joined Ross and Monica at the table. All three began to comfort her as she continued to cry.

"Monica, listen to me," Joey said as he sat next to her, he stared straight at her, "he's not dying."

"Yes he is."

"No, no, he's not. Not on my watch. I'm not burying my brother. Not a chance in hell," Joey said. Rachel could not help but smile at Joey's remark. For as piggish as Joey Tribbiani could be, he was also fiercely protective of the five of them something Rachel would always be grateful for.

"You're very sweet, Joey," Monica said as she hugged him. She took a deep breath and stood up. "I'll go get him." Monica said.

"He's going to be okay," Rachel said.

"Yeah, we've been through it before, we'll go through it again. We are not going to let him hit the bottom," Ross said. Monica nodded as she walked out of the door. Rachel, Joey and Ross sat together, all silent.

"I found Brian's body. I can't….I can't find Chandler's and I mean, I never thought I'd say this….but I like Chandler more than Brian. Sorry, Brian," Rachel said.

"He is not going to die," Joey said.

"Joe, how did you find out about your friend?" Rachel asked.

"I came home. I was actually pissed off 'cause he told me he was gonna pick me up from JFK. I had just flown from LAX to JFK and I was waiting at that damn airport for like two and a half hours and I kept calling our place and finally someone picked up and I asked where the hell he was and it was a police officer who asked who I was and I said, I'm Joey, Shane's roommate and they told me to come home. They didn't want to tell me over the phone so I went to our place and there were ambulances and stuff….he was dead."

"I'm sorry. I remember you telling me at that at the Fashion Week After Party."

"Yeah, I had um….hooked up with a model who was walking one of the shows and she told me to come so I did," Joey said.

"I don't want him dying. I don't wanna find his body. I want him to get well and I want…." Rachel's voice began to tighten up as Ross and Joey each squeezed one of her hands just as Monica walked back in with a box of pizza and sat with them.

"Mon?" Rachel asked, reaching over and squeezing her hand.

"He's sick and...I just wish he knew, you know, I wish he knew how much we all love him and he doesn't and I know, Rachel, you and Pheebs say that Chandler and I are gonna end up together but I can't….I can't...he's not well."

"I know," Rachel said.

"Alright, I'm gonna make the smoothies...or more of them," Monica said as she got up and walked towards the kitchen. Rachel joined her as Joey began eating some of the pizza and Ross went to look through the movies.

"Is this why you called me?" Rachel asked.

"What?" Monica asked.

"In college...when you asked me to come to Chandler's house and I was going skiing….is this what happened?" Rachel asked.

"Sorta...yeah. It is my fault, though."

"Why?"

"'Cause of that Thanksgiving and he-"

"It's not your fault," Rachel said suddenly and she felt overwashed with a feeling of guilt. This was her fault, not Monica's. She had caused this with her anger at Chandler. She had been the one to push Monica to get revenge and she had but that revenge had gone horribly wrong. She should never have gone to Vail, she should have gone to help Monica. This was her fault.

The door opened and in walked Chandler and Phoebe. Rachel could feel her breath get caught in her throat. He looked sick, truly sick. It made her want to cry. She had been so angry, he had covered her car with peanut butter two weeks after she had the abortion but he did not know that. She felt sick.

"There you are man, Hot Dog: The Movie is on deck and after...Die Hard," Ross said.

"The Hot Dog Movie and Die Hard...whoa, I have the greatest friends ever," Chandler grinned as he and Phoebe walked towards the couch and began to make themselves comfortable. Monica handed two slow death smoothies to Rachel and nodded towards Phoebe and Chandler. Rachel walked towards Chandler and Phoebe when she noticed Chandler gripping something, a shoe, Janice's shoe and she immediately recalled an earlier conversation with Sarah. Sarah had told her something about Chandler but she thought it couldn't possibly be true…..it apparently was.

"Oh my G-d, Sarah was right," Rachel said.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Sarah is my co-worker...at Central Perk," Rachel said.

"Oh, crap...I forgot you work there," Chandler said.

"What? You stole Sarah's shoe?" Joey asked as he walked towards the couch with one of the boxes of pizza. Sarah had told Rachel how Chandler had made a scene, that it was funny but sad. Rachel had tried to ignore it.

"No, he stole Janice's shoe. Sarah called me and said, oh your friend Chandler just broke up with a girl and stole her shoe," Rachel said.

"You stole Janice's shoe?" Ross asked.

"No...they're mine. They make me feel taller...and slender," Chandler tried.

"Oh, honey...give me your drink," Rachel said.

"Why?" Chandler asked.

"I think we need to make yours stronger," Rachel said.

Chandler groaned as he handed Rachel his drink. Rachel gently squeezed his shoulder and gave him a kiss on the head.

"Honey, I think you're the coyote who has run off the cliff tonight," Rachel mused before starting to walk off, Chandler grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Wait, Rach...can I go back to Central Perk tomorrow?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, honey, of course...you're my friend. They know not to mess with you and if anyone does, let me know and I'll have a little chat with them," Rachel said.

"Thanks," Chandler said as Rachel walked towards the kitchen to make the drinks stronger. She looked up and noticed the rest of them chatting and let out a sigh. If she had not been so angry….it hadn't been his fault, he didn't know what she had been suffering from. It tore her, she wanted to make whatever he was feeling disappear.

Rachel walked back to Chandler and handed him his drink before plopping down next to Phoebe. Rachel could see the fear in Monica's eyes as he drank. Rachel felt she had no choice, she had to give him a drink. She wasn't really sure what she was supposed to do. Rachel noticed Monica gently stroke his arm and look so concerned and it was a little sweet. She looked at Phoebe who was also staring at Monica and Chandler.

"I think we should add a dance to the 'I Told You So' song,'" Rachel whispered to Phoebe. Phoebe laughed as she looked over at Rachel.

"You think?" Phoebe whispered.

"Maybe some fireworks," Rachel whispered.

"I don't see them having an outdoor wedding though," Phoebe whispered.

"True...then noisemakers," Rachel whispered.

"Definitely," Phoebe whispered.

"What are you two whispering about?" Monica asked.

"Nothing," Chandler said as he shot Rachel and Phoebe a look. "They are whispering about nothing. By the way, Rach...nice. Fast death punch," Chandler held up his drink with a smile. Rachel reached her glass over as they clicked them together.

"Yep, who takes care of you, babe," Rachel grinned although secretly, she wanted to knock the drink out of his hand. She thought of Brian and wished she had known the depths of his pain, wished she could have helped and now there was Chandler and she just wanted to save him.

Ross popped the Hot Dog Movie in the VCR, pressed play and walked over to Rachel sitting next to her, holding her. Phoebe and Monica both snuggled up next to Chandler and Joey was sitting in the big chair. Soon the Hot Dog Movie was followed by Die Hard, Spaceballs, When Harry Met Sally, Animal House and Weekend at Bernies...one movie after the other and soon she fell asleep in Ross' arms.