Chapter Twenty Nine
"Good morning" Naomi sang cheerily as she walked into the practice kitchen.
Charlotte, who was the only person in the kitchen, greeted her back. "Well, good morning sunshine. You're in a good mood this morning. As a matter of fact, you've been in a good mood all month" she reflected.
"Is that a bad thing"?
"No, not at all; I was just making an observation. I'm glad to see you in a better space after all you've endured over the past couple of years. Happiness looks good on you".
Naomi smiled. "Thanks but I don't know if I would consider myself happy. I'm not quite there yet. But I must admit it's nice to not feel so stressed out and ganged up on. I wouldn't say my relationships with people in the office are back to normal; I don't know if they ever will be. Still, it feels so great to walk into the office on a daily basis without feeling like I'm preparing for battle".
Charlotte took a sip of coffee and eyed Naomi critically. "No, it's not that. I mean it is; there is definitely less tension around the office these days. But it's more than that. You've been practically floating around the office lately. There's this glow to you".
A nervous energy settled in the pit of Naomi's stomach. Ever since she and Sam had made their arrangement, he had been in her bed on a nightly basis. And when he wasn't in her bed, Naomi was in his. Were her nightly trysts with Sam becoming obvious? "Considering, I broke up with the only many I've dated in the past two years over three months ago, I'd say that was impossible" she joked, trying not to let her nerves show.
"Well then, are you on a diet? Are you doing a juice cleanse? Do you have a new exercise regiment? Are you using a new moisturizer? What is your secret? Because, you look even more amazing than usual" Charlotte said. The slight change in Naomi's body language did not go unnoticed by Charlotte but she let it slide.
Naomi felt even more unnerved. There was no way having sex with Sam had changed her appearance that much. "Thank you, but this is just what I look like when I'm not stressed out, I think. Recently, I've been in the center of so much drama. Getting through the day has been so burdensome. But now that I don't have to worry about any of that, all of my stress has flown out the window" Naomi responded, hoping Charlotte would accept her explanation.
"If you say so" Charlotte mumbled as she took a sip of her coffee. She arched her eyebrow; a clear indication she wasn't buying what Naomi was selling. "But I still think it's something else".
"Why do I feel like I'm being interrogated for being in a good mood" Naomi asked, going on the defensive.
Sighing, Charlotte placed her coffee mug down on the counter. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to press so hard". She paused. "But, can I be completely honest with you for a moment"?
"Sure" Naomi said hesitantly.
"You have a dirty little habit of keeping secrets. Your business is your business and you're entitled to it; but in my experience, keeping things to yourself hurts more than helps. People love and care about you Naomi. They want to help you when you're going through bad times and want to celebrate with you when you're going through good times. However, it's impossible to do that when you insist on holding people at arm's length".
Naomi nodded in understanding. "I know Charlotte. I know I have a tendency to hold back. The strange part is that I wasn't always like this. I used to be an open book. Then the world crashed around me and I went into my shell. I guess I never came back out".
"Well, maybe it's time you did" Charlotte suggested.
"It's easier said than done. Half the time, I don't even notice when I'm holding back. It's become second nature to me".
"I'll give you an example" Charlotte said. "Holding back is refusing to explain what has got you in such a good mood. Call me nosy or pushy but I'm dying to know so I can look as good as you do" she laughed.
Naomi laughed too. "I haven't done anything different. I just…" she paused for a brief moment. Sam had momentarily glanced at her as he walked past the kitchen. There was a mischievous glint in his eye that let Naomi know she was in trouble tonight. Why did he have to be so sexy? Why did her body ignite at just the thought of what he would do to her later? It took all her willpower to keep her eyes from following him down the hallway.
Noticing the silent communication between them, the light dawned in Charlotte's head. She wanted to kick herself for not getting it sooner. "Never mind, I can't use that method" she quipped.
Whipping her head around, Naomi exclaimed "What? What are you talking about"?
"I don't think Cooper would approve of me sleeping with Sam" she teased, not beating around the bush.
Automatically feeling panicky, Naomi tried to brainstorm a quick rebuttal. But she was caught red-handed and she didn't want to continue the habit of lying; especially to someone who had been such a good friend. Charlotte had been one of her rocks over the past year. Still, she didn't want her friend to get the wrong idea. "Charlotte" she said slowly. "It's not what you think".
"Really? Because what I think is that you've been hiding your relationship with Sam from everyone. And I don't understand why". Charlotte silently chastised herself. Now that she knew the truth, she wondered how she'd missed it. It was so obvious. Naomi had been walking around with a silly grin on her face and Sam whistled everywhere he went.
"That's just it. There is no relationship. Sam and I are not even friends. It's just sex. And I didn't say anything about it because I didn't want people to jump to the wrong conclusion. I didn't want people to think that I still had feelings for him. Plus, there's the whole Addison thing. It would just make everything weird and stressful all over again". Realizing she was beginning to ramble, Naomi went silent.
"You don't have any feelings for him" Charlotte asked skeptically.
"No" Naomi said emphatically.
"Then why are you sleeping with the father of your children when you could be cuddling up next to Jake every night"?
"Charlotte, it is just sex" Naomi repeated.
If Naomi's stubbornness hadn't caused her so much pain over the years, Charlotte would have found it impressive. Instead, it boggled her mind how Naomi could be sleeping with Sam again and still be denying her feelings. Either way, Charlotte knew she was dangerously close to pushing Naomi too far. If she kept going, Naomi would sink even further into her shell. "Fine. If you say it's just sex, it's just sex. I'm not judging. I just want you to be happy, and if sex with Sam is what has you floating around the halls, so be it".
"Thanks Charlotte" Naomi smiled. She was smart enough to know that Charlotte wasn't completely convinced. But Naomi also recognized that her friend knew her well enough to know when a line was about to be crossed. And for that, she was grateful. That, more than anything, proved to her how much Charlotte cared about and understood her.
"No problem. Hey, what are you doing tonight" Charlotte asked, switching gears like their previous conversation never happened. "Cooper is going out with some old friends from medical school tonight so I'm riding solo. You want to do something"?
Naomi smiled guiltily. "I'm sorry, I can't. I already have plans".
"What plans" Charlotte blurted out before her brain could catch up. She held up her hand. "Never mind. We'll just plan another night. Deal"?
"Deal" Naomi agreed.
…
"Ooooh….Sam….mmmm….baby….Sam, baby please stop" Naomi begged hoarsely, her voice tired from moaning. She couldn't take it anymore. Her arms were spread wide, like she was nailed to a cross, and her head writhed back and forth as her fingers tightly clung to the sheets. Sam had her practically folded in half, her knees pressed against her chest; as his hands firmly gripped the back of her thighs, he plunged into her over and over again with deep steady powerful thrusts. He moved in and out of her with such fervor, such passion, such fierceness. With each stroke, Naomi absorbed his intensity and now her heart felt like it was going to literally explode. The sex felt so good, her body physically could not handle all of the sensations Sam was evoking. Never in her life would she have thought it was possible for a man to make her feel so aroused, she would have to beg him to stop. But apparently it was a possible, that man really did it exist; and it was her ex-husband of all people. The sex between them had always been extraordinary but what she had been experiencing in recent events…there were no words. All Naomi knew was that if Sam didn't stop soon, she would die from pure bliss; when it was all said and done, death by orgasm wasn't a bad way to go. However, she had a son to think about and a lot of living left to do.
Sam was kissing the back of her knees. "Is something wrong" he asked, stalling for a few seconds.
"No...It's just that...I...oh God" Naomi nearly screamed as Sam started moving again, this time licking the inside of her knees.
"Then why would I stop" Sam mumbled, his lips attached to her addictive heated skin.
"Because...I..." Naomi was so physically overwhelmed, she couldn't talk straight. She was becoming more and more flustered by the millisecond; her flesh was becoming more and more feverish. "Sam, please...I just need a moment. Just give me one minute" she moaned. If she could just catch her breath, maybe her heart would finally calm down.
Sam hesitated; the desire to live inside her only grew stronger each time they had sex. He didn't want to be disconnected from her for any length of time. He looked up at Naomi, saw the agonizing pleasure in her eyes. A small smirk appeared at the corner of his lips; he couldn't help but feel a little smug for putting that look on her face. Sam also felt vindicated; he liked knowing that he affected her as much as she affected him. And because he knew just how much affect Naomi could have, he decided to grant her wishes. "Fine, I'll give you one minute, exactly sixty seconds, and then you're mine all over again". Reluctantly, Sam pulled out of her but he still couldn't keep his hands and mouth off of her. Pressing her thighs further into her chest, his head moved down, hovering over her overheated sex.
Naomi was getting ready to thank him when she felt his hot breath on her enflamed nerve-endings. Her breathing took a long pause. "What are you doing"?
Smelling her, Sam licked his lips. "I'm starting the countdown" he whispered, right before he stuck out his tongue and licked her puffy slippery clit with one long, deep stroke. "Fifty-nine"...
"Sam" Naomi gasped desperately, hey eyes closing and rolling into the back of her head.
"Mmm...You taste good" he mumbled against her swollen lips. He licked her again. "Fifty-six..."
"Sam, I'm begging you" Naomi pleaded, nearly delirious. She began trembling from the inside out.
"I'm sorry, I just can't help myself" Sam apologized; finally, he released his grip on the back of her thighs. Massaging her stiff legs, he gently unfolded them and let them down. Still positioned between her thighs, his hands slowly worked their way up her body. "Forty-five..."
Naomi sighed in relief, arched her back, stretched her legs, and pointed her cramped toes. The cold air from the ceiling fan that had been eluding her caressed her newly uncovered sweaty flesh. But Sam's magic hands were quickly heating her cooling skin back up. Arching her back further, she moaned again. Any and everything this man did to her stimulated her. "If you keep messing with me like this, I'm going to need more than a minute".
"No deal. We agreed on sixty seconds and sixty seconds is all you're getting" Sam argued, as his mouth trailed up her body, kissing and licking her flat stomach until he reached her full and ample breasts. They were so engorged, they'd begun to leak. Sam had been dying to get his mouth and hands on them all night. "Thirty-two" he whispered, as he began to lick the flesh around her nipple, lapping up spilt milk, before drawing the black pearl into his mouth. He sucked gently, using his tongue to press firmly against her nipple as he fed on her soft mound.
Hissing, Naomi grabbed his shoulders and tried to push him away, but he was relentless. Her trembles were turning into violent shakes now. She could actually feel milk flowing out of her body into his mouth. Unlike Isaiah, who pulled and tugged on her painfully, Sam was seductively coaxing the free flow of milk. Instead of pain, she felt shockwaves radiate down her spine and the heat between her legs grow from a roaring fire into a blazing inferno. Her chest heaving up and down so hard her ribcage hurt, Naomi moaned, stuttered, and cursed to the heavens above. "Sam…that's enough…save some for your son" she whimpered weakly, feeling exhausted and exhilarated at the same time.
"He's had you and these beauties to himself for over a year. He can afford to share" Sam reasoned, licking the excess milk from her nipple before moving to her other breast and starting the torture all over again. "Twenty-one…"
As Sam shifted, his imposing hardness pressed against her opening. Naomi immediately tried to scoot away from him. But he was everywhere. His hands were on her hips, pulling her back. His mouth was on her breasts, pulling her back. His smell was invading her nostrils, keeping her captive. She was drowning, sinking further into the deep abyss that was Sam. She couldn't escape him. Her chest heaved even harder as she began to hyperventilate.
"Ten" Sam counted, releasing Naomi's nipple. He looked up again and saw a euphoric glow on her face; but he also saw an unexpected look in Naomi's eyes; fear. Why was she freaking out? What was there to be afraid of? "Naomi, look at me".
The authority in his voice drew her eyes to him; she stared up at him as he hovered over her, concern in his eyes.
"I would never hurt you".
"I know". She really did know; he would never cause her bodily harm. But emotionally, they'd been on a rollercoaster for years. However unintentional, in the past, he'd hurt her beyond belief and she'd done the same to him in many aspects.
"Then why are you afraid"?
"I'm not afraid…I just…." Naomi couldn't find the right words. In truth, she was afraid; afraid of falling for Sam again. So many people – her mom, Mama Dee, Charlotte, Jake, Pete, and even Sam himself –kept insinuating or even downright accusing her of still being in love with him; and she kept denying it. But it was becoming harder to refute their theories and accusations with unwavering certainty. The more time she spent with her ex-husband and the more she granted him entrance into her body, the more her vision became muddled. She was starting to lose focus, become unsure of how she felt or what she really wanted and it scared the shit out of her. Deep down, Naomi knew that's why Sam's touch was nearly unbearable, that's why he had the power to make her heart explode and kill her; because the thought of needing and wanting Sam for more than sex scared her, made her adrenaline pump, sent her system into overdrive. It had been successful so far, but could a strictly sexual relationship continue to work between them?
Sam reached down and gently caressed Naomi's face; she was holding back, refusing to completely give in to what was happening between them. He could feel it. Weeks ago, he'd consented to her terms of sex only, let her believe he agreed with her, but he wanted more. Sam had denied his feelings for too long to deny them any longer. He was in love with Naomi; the love had never really gone away. He wanted his wife back, he wanted his family. Sam wished Naomi hadn't given him the ultimatum of sex only; and he was partially disappointed with himself for being unable to resist her. Sex with unresolved feelings between them was a recipe for disaster. But if it was the only opportunity to get his foot in the door and hopefully convince Naomi they belonged together, he would've been a fool not to take it. He'd already been a fool to let her slip through his fingers not once, but twice; but he'd be damned if he was going to let her get away a third time. Sam was determined to find a way to make Naomi stop fighting her feelings; it was a tall order considering she was the most stubborn woman on the planet. Plus, the last time she'd come to terms with her feelings, it had ended in disaster. That was on him and Sam accepted full responsibility. "Naomi" he whispered. "I'm right here, I'm not going to let anything happen to you".
"I know….but…Sam" she whispered, so many unspoken words in her eyes. She laid a hand on his bare chest.
"I'm right here" Sam said again, as he gently leaned down and kissed her forehead. Knowing more than a minute had passed, he started a new countdown. "Three…" he kissed her left cheek; "Two…" he kissed her right cheek; "One" Sam finally said, pausing to stare at her beautiful face before he leaned down and captured her lips.
She saw the kiss coming and yet she was powerless to stop him; just like all the previous times. But this kiss was different. The look on Sam's face before he kissed her had caught her off guard, immobilized her. It had looked like…love. That couldn't be. He didn't love her, never had; besides they were supposed to be using each other for carnal satisfaction, no emotions allowed. She had enough to worry about; like keeping her own feelings in check without making up grand delusions in her head about his feelings. This was getting way too complicated, way too fast. Naomi tried to find the strength to push his face away; kissing was so personal, in some ways more intimate than sex. It signified a deeper, more emotional connection. They had been doing way too much kissing lately; and more kissing would only further confuse the situation. She had to find a way to stay detached. However, her lips were like magnets that were only attracted to his; she couldn't tear them away. Instead of pushing Sam away, she grabbed his face and deepened the kiss. His lips thrilled her, sent even more sensations rolling through her body. Yet, in some strange way, kissing him was also soothing her, sending her into a hypnotic trance. Suddenly, all her worries and fears fell away. She stopped shaking and her breathing calmed; her heart was still pounding but it felt manageable now. When Sam grabbed her hips again and persuaded her legs to open wider, she didn't put up a fight. Kissing Sam was keeping her from losing it.
Sam slowly, deliberately sank into her, sighing in pleasure. Even a couple of minutes were too long to be not living and breathing inside her. Being inside of her felt like home. Gradually, he lowered himself onto her until they were belly to belly, skin to skin. As they continued to kiss, he gripped her thighs and sank deeper inside her, over and over again. If her body was his sanctuary, then her lips were his salvation; both gave his body emotional and physical pleasure like nothing or no one else could. If only Naomi would admit she felt the same way, his life would be complete. Thankfully, all was not lost. The raw passion Sam felt emanating from her gave him hope.
Gasping out loud, Naomi's body shivered and she moaned continuously as Sam's penis repeatedly slipped in and out of her and his body settled on top of her. It felt so good, it made her feel safe. This time instead of fighting the sensations, she embraced them. Just as their lips worked in tandem, Naomi's hips picked up Sam's rhythm and began meeting his thrusts. Her legs opened even wider, giving Sam permission to go as deep as he could, as hard as he dared. Naomi dug her fingers into his back as each stroke increased in power, sending ripples through her body. The sound and the feel of their slick slippery skin moving against each other only heightened their pleasure. As their pace and intensity increased, their kissing became more erratic and sloppy. They were both on the edge of the cliff, about to fall off into oblivion. Naomi tried to suck in air as the early beginnings of a climax began working its way through her body. Sam was ready to burst but tried to hold on with all his might. It was a lost cause; they were both too far gone. Sensing it, Naomi pulled Sam closer and, with swollen and bruised lips, gave him one last long and heated kiss as he plunged into her one last time and simultaneous orgasms ripped through them so powerful, they became paralyzed.
Even after they came down from their high and their sweaty bodies separated, Naomi could still feel orgasmic twinges as her body involuntarily twitched. Flat on her back, she lay staring at the ceiling with her hand on her forehead and her legs bent at the knees and open so that her overly satisfied vagina could breathe. Lying on his side, already half asleep, Sam pulled Naomi close, forcing her to turn over on her side and face him; no words were spoken. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her so close their bodies touched; as they stared silently and intently at each other, he gently reached up and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. Softly, he kissed her on the lips but still didn't say anything. Within minutes he was fast asleep. Naomi's eyes were still wide open as she continued to stare at him, study his face in a daze. Now that she had come back down and his lips were no longer on hers, she was starting to freak out again. Looking at Sam's adorable face as he slept, she repeatedly told herself in her mind, 'It's not love, just sex, it's not love, just sex, it's not love, just sex.'
