Reality Show
Short chapter for the start of Bad Wolf, but hopefully a lot of fun.
"Euuh," Sherlock muttered, shifting in bed. It was a tight, narrow space, though, and he was wrapped up close against-wait a minute. That wasn't John.
Sherlock's eyes snapped open just as the Doctor's did, and they screamed as they fumbled against each other, trying to get away and stand up in a small closet lined with mirrors. Where were they, how the heck did they get here, and why the hell were they together without John, Rose, or Captain Jack Harkness?
Suddenly, the closet door opened and they fell out of it on top of each other. "Oh, God, two new housemates?" A woman cried, startled. Some loud techno music was blaring, a nauseating noise that didn't help their upset stomachs and disorientation. Was there something else in the background?
"Get off of me!" Sherlock shouted, pushing the Doctor off. "You've heavy."
"You're the one who was getting handsy!" The Doctor cried. Then he started to sag and the woman caught him, and helped him up.
"I thought you were John." Sherlock said, shaking his head to clear out the spinning sensation. "Where am I, and why is the room so disgusting?"
Two other people stood off to the side, watching the situation unfold and complaining about the rules changing. Sherlock glanced around, studying the room's layout, the electronic surveillance, and futuristic touches that didn't exactly point to his early 21st century time period. And there was a humming noise too that he couldn't quite place, though he almost recognized it.
The woman, explaining their temporary memory loss and disorientation, mentioned something about a Transmat, definitely not his time period if it was teleportation. The exit also seemed to be barred, so were they trapped here? It was one of the worst prisons he had ever been in.
"The decorators on this show, they've really got the eye motif going. Big Brother's always watching you." The woman grinned. The eyes were everywhere, including the eye in the sky.
"Yes, Mycroft usually is. How did you know that?" Sherlock asked, managing to stand up on his own.
"Big Brother's a reality show. Don't you ever watch telly?" The Doctor asked.
"I aspire not to. Big Brother is a reality show?" Sherlock asked, glancing around as he leaned against the wall for support. "Must be my brother's favorite if he ever cared to watch as well." There was an imperceptible vibration as well, a familiar one.
"Yeah, I can see that." The Doctor said.
Suddenly an electronic voice shouted at the Doctor and Sherlock to go to the Diary Room, so shrill that it hurt Sherlock's ears. The woman helped escort them there, another closet-sized room barely large enough for both Sherlock and the Doctor.
"Do we really have to do this?" Sherlock asked.
"It's mandatory. Otherwise, you might get a penalty vote." The woman said.
There was only one really red chair in the room that reminded Sherlock of the red chair on that Graham Norton show John and Captain Jack loved so much.
"I hope this one doesn't flip over." Sherlock said, and the Doctor laughed.
"Can I get you guys anything? Coffee or tea? Maybe water if your stomach's a little queasy?" The woman asked, about to close the door.
"Tea." Both the Doctor and Sherlock said, settling down as best they could, fighting over who got to sit in the chair.
"I'll have it out and ready for you two when you're done. Good luck." The woman said, closing the door.
"She seems nice. Hope she doesn't vote us out or however this show works now." The Doctor said. He got the red chair in the end, and Sherlock wound up sitting on the floor.
"Are you actually accepting this?" Sherlock asked. He could feel the vibration even on the floor, and there was that hum again. He could almost place it.
"No, I'm not. I want to get out of here and find out what's going on. But to do that, I suppose we'll have to play along with them for now. Unless-" The Doctor fished around in his leather jacket, but his face fell. "I suppose they must have taken it."
"Actually-" Sherlock said, pulling out the sonic screwdriver from his own coat.
"What? How did you-" The Doctor frowned and said, "Never mind. I already know."
"I wasn't handsy." Sherlock insisted. "And I think we're not on Earth at all. We're in some kind of space station."
Meanwhile, Rose woke up in a daze as well, though it turned into a nightmare of sorts as she was faced with the Anne Droid on The Weakest Link. She couldn't believe this was happening to her, and the only thing she could think of was this had something to the Doctor, Sherlock, John and Captain Jack Harkness.
She almost half expected them to come out of the shadows and shout, "Surprise!" Giving her a big cake to blow out the candles in celebration of-how many months she had been traveling with the Doctor and them, probably almost a full year now. Wow, time really did fly, even when you were a time traveler.
She remembered a week or two ago how disheartened she was after Mickey left her in Cardiff, and she almost felt like giving up traveling with the Doctor. Yet soon after they stopped by Mycroft's office to un-hypnotize him, or whatever the Doctor had done, Sherlock had stopped by to pay her a visit.
"You okay?" Sherlock asked.
"I could very well ask you the same question." Rose said. "It's not every day you see a family member going through such a harrowing experience, am I right?"
"Yeah, I suppose it's a shock. But Mycroft will live and surely recover. He's made of strong, stern stuff, I have to admit." Sherlock said, sitting down on the couch across from her in one of the TARDIS lounges. "He's not one to give up and back down from a fight. He'll mend."
Rose nodded. "Good for him. I hope you're right."
"What about you? Are you okay? When Mickey didn't come back with you and Margaret held us captive-not to mention that Heart of TARDIS light-" Sherlock shuddered slightly. "I mean, that had to upset you, right?"
"What are you on about?" Rose asked, looking up at him.
"I mean are you okay…traveling with us still?" Sherlock asked.
"I'm here, aren't I?" Rose said. "I'll admit I had a moment of doubt. I was upset about Mickey and he brought up some good points about how I'm never around and I don't see him or Mum as often as I should."
"You might have an obligation to them, but you have an obligation to yourself as well." Sherlock said.
"I know, but I'm being a little bit selfish, and you're probably selfish as well for wanting me to stay on so that the Doctor doesn't get upset-"
"I'm just concerned, that's all." Sherlock said.
"Right." She eyed him critically. "Well, in any case, I still want to travel with the Doctor, and you, John, and Captain Jack to a lesser extent. You're all still my friends and I wouldn't miss traveling through time and space for anything." She sighed. "Especially with this group of people."
"But the Doctor more than anything." Sherlock said.
Rose smiled. "You got me there, as you always do."
"Right, well, for what it's worth, you've been a friend to me, John, and Captain Jack as well. I know we would miss you very much if you ever chose to leave." Sherlock said, looking up at her. "I won't forget all of the adventures we've had together."
Rose smiled. "Me neither. You're all the best to me, too."
Rose felt that way very much, and right now, standing there in the futuristic television studio, she wished that they were there with her. Especially the Doctor.
John groaned as he came to, lying flat on his back. "Where am I?" He asked, blinking blearily in the bright white room.
"That sweater has got to go. It's contemptible that a handsome middle-aged man should dress up like he's already a grandpa." A harsh electronic voice remarked, though he couldn't see where it came from clearly. The lights shining above his head blinded him.
"Giving up on the dating scene already or settling down does not mean your standards should slip as well." Another similar voice said as a pair of figures started to resolve slightly into the form of a pair of female androids.
"Don't take my sweater. It's my favorite." John muttered, horrified as he tried to get up and get away. He practically fell off of the flat bed he had been lying upon.
"Whoa, John, are you okay?" Captain Jack said, bending down to help John up.
"I can't feel my legs. What's happened to me? And where are the rest? Sherlock, the Doctor, Rose?"
"It's okay. I don't where they are or where we are, except that it looks and sounds a lot like 'What Not to Wear'."
"Oh god, I hate that show. And why do they have robot Trinny and Susannah?" John asked, pointing at the androids.
"I don 't know. Must have gotten a revival somewhere down the line." Captain Jack said, examining the situation as the robots continued chatting. "But wherever and whatever this is, at least you're here with me in the same predicament and we'll both get out of here."
"Yeah, that doesn't help me very much." John said as the robots brought out the defabricator.
"Defabricator? Oh no, no-" John said, but it was too late. The robots had switched on the machine and suddenly John was standing there stark naked right next to Captain Jack in front of a television audience.
John froze and tried to cover himself up with a shirt from the rack. But Captain Jack stood there proudly displaying himself as he discreetly examined John.
"Well, I can see what Sherlock sees in you." Captain Jack grinned.
"Shut up right now! This isn't very funny!" John insisted, though he blushed slightly as Jack grinned at him.
Then Jack turned his attention to the robots and the television audience, and John gaped at him. "Are you actually flirting with robots? And the television audience?"
"What? I'm just working my charm to get us out of here quicker. You should try it, too."
"I'm not that desperate yet." John said, attempting to side-step the robots to get out of here.
However, they both blocked his passage and menacingly advanced towards. "Where do you think you're going?"
"I'm just-" John started to say.
"He just wants to get a good look at the clothes on the rack so that he can see all of the available options and what suits him best." Captain Jack said, stepping forward to defend his friend. "I think he was also interested in getting some more clothes to choose from, just in case he doesn't find anything that suits."
"I'll get some more clothes. You two stay put." One of the robot hosts said, gliding off, as the other stood still, practically guarding the two fellows.
They breathed a sigh of relief. "That was close. Thanks, Jack." John said.
"Any time." Jack grinned and told him, "Now let's just play around here for now and then see what we can do."
"All right, I'm game for it." John nodded, bracing himself for the makeover of his life. Where was Sherlock now?
