A/N: Sorry about no update yesterday, had the sort of headache where you can't look at the screen and I kept editing sentences so that they didn't make any sense at all. Thanks very much to Debbie for her patented headache cure …. It was much appreciated . Thank you for the reviews, and I will update tomorrow, all being well, I don't want to leave anyone hanging over the weekend
-OG-
He'd dropped the phone, grabbed keys and mobile and hadn't taken the time to turn off the lights or find a sweater or a coat or anything, even though the evening had turned chilly and it had begun to rain. He'd just shoved bare feet into trainers without worrying about socks and had run to the car slamming the front door behind him without bothering about the dead locks; his one thought had been to get there just as soon as he possibly could. And now that he was there, there was this young squaddie who didn't even look old enough to shave standing in his way and telling him that he couldn't go anywhere near where he wanted, no, where he needed, to go.
"Where are the casualty lists posted?"
"If you go over to the mess hall" He gestured in the same direction again "I'm sure someone will be able to get you the information" The MP had given this tiny, almost infinitesimal shrug of impatient indifference, a small and involuntary movement of his shoulders that absolutely incensed Charles, but the young soldier didn't notice, he'd been standing out in the rain getting soaked to the skin for nearly four hours and was more than a bit pissed off, not to mention hungry and thirsty. He could do with a pee and they'd promised him that he'd be relieved more than an hour ago.
"Sir" Charles snapped.
"Sorry?" The young soldier looked at him properly for the first time, puzzled and caught off guard by the sharp response and by the change in the tone of voice.
"You will address me as Sir or Captain, and now if you've got that, I'll repeat my question, where are the casualty lists posted?"
"Sorry Sir, I didn't realise" For this young and very bored soldier this had just turned into an even bigger nightmare than it had already been "The Chaplain has a temporary office at the back of the mess hall, Sir, I'm sure he'll be able to help you, Sir"
"Right, and whether you realised or not, you should have known that you treat every relative with the same respect as you would have treated me if you'd known that I was your superior officer"
"Yes Sir, sorry Sir"
With that, Charles didn't utter another word, just glared with his stern face expressionless, then turned on his heel and stalked off in the direction the MP had indicated, the bottom had dropped out of Charles' world so that he was in his own personal nightmare. Snapping at the hapless young idiot had been a reaction, a lashing out at the fear that was churning like acid in the pit of his stomach.
-OG-
A screeching noise of metal scraping against metal was followed by another heavy shower of dust and debris that coated her face, a much more prolonged one this time, making Molly yelp as she spat out bits of gods knows what and then immediately apologised to Will, saying that it had made her jump but that was all. Actually it had scared the shit out of her, she was once again totally terrified that the whole bloody lot was about to come crashing down on her, that the creaking noises and the dust were the start of the imminent collapse of all the remaining bits of the stairwell.
"It's okay to be frightened Molly, you don't have to apologise for goodness sake" He squeezed her hand "I'm a bit scared too, its not only you"
"Are you?" He didn't bother to answer, just squeezed her hand again as she thought about what he'd said, she wasn't sure she wanted him to be as scared as she was, she'd found the thought of him being all strong and certain quite comforting "What the fuck do you think they're doing out there? Why can't we hear nothing? I reckon they're not even bothering to look for us any more, they think we're already dead" She took a deep shuddering breath as she tried hard to ward off another wave of panic "How long we been down here now Will? Cos it feels like it's been hours and hours"
"I'm not sure, there's not enough light for me to see my watch and it's possibly broken anyway, but I don't think it's been that long, maybe a few hours, could be five or six, possibly a bit longer" He stroked her fingers "They'll be working very slowly and very carefully and that's why we can't hear them, they're not going to give up looking for us, sweetheart, they wouldn't do that"
"You just called me sweetheart"
"Did I? Slip of the tongue"
"Really?" She swallowed hard "Thought it was my incredible charm and magnetism what was working on you"
"You might be right, possibly, or it might be your incredible wit and outstandingly positive optimism in the face of so much adversity"
"You taking the piss?"
"Yes I suppose it is just possible that I could be" He gave his tell-tale chuckle "Tell me about your husband"
"How do you know I'm married?"
"Let me see now, you've changed your name and" He rubbed her finger "The wedding ring is usually a bit of a clue, in fact it's a dead give-away"
"Oh yeah, forgot about that" She shuddered, desperately wishing he was Charles "He's gonna be well crapping himself at all this, that's if he knows where I am, cos I'm not sure anyone knows I'm here, I was only visiting the bloody place, well, that is unless Gem's worked it out and told him. He was away on exercise so I haven't spoke to him since yesterday 'n I 'aven't seen him since Friday morning, shit, hope he's okay"
"He'll be fine, be a bit worried about you, I expect, he'll be very relieved to get you back in one piece" William had his reassuring voice back on, which on the whole Molly thought she preferred to his 'You're not the only one who's shit-scared, I am as well' voice "What's his name?"
"Charles, Charles James, he's a Captain like you, do you know him?"
"Name doesn't ring a bell, sorry, so" William took a deep breath working very hard to make his voice sound as if they were having a normal conversation under normal social circumstances "How long have the two of you been married?"
"More than four years now, we met in Afghan when he got himself hurt, had a bit of an accident 'n I looked after him at Bastion, actually he puked his guts all over me first time we met" She took a deep breath, trying to control the mixture of laughter and tears at the memory "Then we met up again when he was in Headley, the Taliban did their best to fuck him up as well, shot him in his leg 'n his guts, well they nearly killed him actually" She had never missed Charles' reassuring presence more than she did at that moment, she badly needed to hug him as the tears threatened to overwhelm her again "Anyhow, there we go, we've been together ever since" William tightened his fingers on hers, giving her hand a reassuring little squeeze, he could tell from the catch in her voice just how upset and worried she was about this husband of hers who would, in all likelihood, be terrified that he was never going to see her again.
"Have you got any children?"
"Nah, well yeah in a way I have, Charles has got this little boy, Sammie, me stepson, he's nearly ten, he's at boarding school now, shit, hope no-one's told him what's 'appened"
"No, don't worry about that, and you know it will all be fine, you'll see"
"Glad you're so sure mate, so" Molly gulped hard, determined to try and stop the tears that were threatening to spill over at the thought of never having children and how frightened Sam would be if he knew what was happening "How about you?"
"Have I got children? No, I'm not married"
"Well that don't always follow does it? I'm a bit surprised, though, would have thought that you were, blokes your age usually are aren't they? Married I mean, either that or they're gay, although sometimes you can be both, can't you?"
"Yes I suppose so, but just for the record Molly, I'm not gay" She could literally hear the smile in his voice "And what did you mean, blokes my age? How old do you think I am?"
"I dunno, do I? Fifty? Fifty five?"
"I'll have you know I'm still on the right side of forty, I'm nowhere near fifty" His voice sounded like he was torn between being slightly outraged and very amused.
"Oops, sorry" God, how wrong could she be? She could have sworn that he was well ancient, well, that he was a hell of a lot older than thirty odd anyhow, that made him not much older than Charles.
"That's alright, please don't mention it" He was still chuckling even if he did still sound slightly offended, or as if he was pretending to be, so that she was tempted to call him a sarky sod, before he squeezed her fingers again, then continued "I used to be married once upon a time, but it didn't work out unfortunately, maybe if we'd had children ….. but then who knows and it was a long time ago now"
Molly heard his sharp intake of breath and the involuntary little moan and knew that he must have moved his leg, for a moment she'd almost forgotten that he was in all sorts of agony, pain that she could do nothing about at all.
"Stop shifting yourself about, Will, I know it's really hard keeping still when something really, really hurts but if you don't you're gonna make it a whole lot worse, so just try not to move it, keep it as still as you can"
"I'm trying" She heard him take another deep breath "Tell you what, Molly, I could murder a pint"
"Yeah, me too"
Molly laughed at his words as she tried to match his tone of voice, even though she was getting increasingly worried about his leg, the more time that passed without any sort of treatment, the worse the outcome was likely to be.
"That's the first thing we're going to do when we get out of here, we are going to find the nearest pub and have a very large drink, or quite possibly a very great number of very large drinks"
"Have to get that leg of yours sorted first"
"No, we are going to find the pub first, even if I have to crawl there"
"Nah, crawling's what we'll do after we've been in the pub"
-OG-
Tom Rogers was a Chaplain that Charles knew reasonably well, not that he was a friend exactly but he knew him well enough for them to be on first name terms. On the whole he was glad it wasn't a complete stranger, even if the other man's slightly syrupy 'I am deeply concerned but doing my best to be reassuring' manner made Charles want to scream … and then slap him. Every instinct he had was yelling at him to just get out there and start pulling the bloody rubble away with his bare hands, but with all his experience of army rules and protocols he knew that doing that would not only seriously piss off the rescue crew, not that he cared about that particularly, but even if he could get past the barrier which was highly unlikely in itself, it was bound to be against some bloody regulation somewhere.
The room was full of stunned and grey faced people who were either sitting in silence or muttering quietly to one another at old-fashioned chipped and marked mess tables, a lot of them were scarred with deep cigarette burns from the days when smoking was allowed in the mess, tables that were now littered with plastic cups and stirrers together with puddles of spilt tea and discarded sugar wrappers. All the people who were waiting had looked up at him in hopeful expectation as soon as he'd come through the door, obviously thinking that he might be someone who'd have some news, but had then looked away again, none of them wanting to catch his eye any more than he'd wanted to catch theirs, he could almost smell the fear in the air.
He'd desperately scanned through the names of the known casualties with his heart in his mouth, both the fatalities and the injured, together with the long list of 'walking wounded' although he was pretty sure that if she'd been one of them she would have found some way of letting him know. He still didn't know for sure, it wasn't a 100% certainty that she'd even been in there, but as time went on he got more and more convinced that it was the only possible explanation, anything else and he would know by now, Molly would know just how worried he'd be. He read through the lists again, taking it more slowly and carefully the second time round, and had then taken a very deep breath, had carefully composed his expression and then swallowed hard before he'd steeled himself to ask Tom where the temporary mortuary was for the unidentified fatalities, but she wasn't there.
Tom had insisted on accompanying him when he'd checked, even though he hadn't wanted him to, and had given him a reassuring pat on the arm as he'd told him that they were still pulling people out alive and that there were a lot of people still trapped, making Charles' desire to hit him, or deck him as Molly would say, reappear with a vengeance. He meant well, there was no doubt about that, he was trying to be kind, but he was seriously getting on Charles' nerves. All his years in the army, all his time on active service hadn't prepared him in the slightest for any of this, all he wanted to do right now was scream "Where the fuck is she, where's Molly?
He couldn't bear the atmosphere in the room so took himself out into the rain, going back to the barrier that was stopping anyone going any further towards the arc lights or to where the blue lights of the waiting ambulances were twirling and threading their reflections through the drizzly gloom. He nodded at the young MP who was standing guard, a different squaddie to the one he'd bollocked earlier, this one nodded back, a sympathetic half-smile on his face as Charles turned his mobile over and over in his hands before making the decision to call, then immediately wished he hadn't, there was no point in it, but it was too late to change his mind.
"Mum? Sorry to wake you, it's me"
"Oh God, what's wrong?"
Beth shoved Martin very hard trying to wake him, he hadn't heard the phone ring and was still blissfully snoring on the pillow next to her "And before you say don't panic, it's" She checked the display on the clock next to her" It's gone half-past one Charles, why on earth would you be ringing at this time unless there's something wrong? It's not Sam is it? Please god, it's not Scamp, Oh no, oh god it's Molly, isn't it?"
She listened without saying a word as her son did his best to sound calm and controlled, his explanation being filled with a careful optimism he was no longer sure he was feeling, he deeply regretted giving in and making this call. Telling Beth made it all seem real and he didn't want any of it to be real.
"We're on our way, talk to your dad, I'm going to get dressed"
"Hang on Mum …."
But she'd gone, Beth had, as usual, turned into the whirlwind of activity that characterised her response to a problem, it was her way of dealing with a crisis, but this time all she really wanted to do was bang her head against a wall and then curl into a ball and scream no, not Molly, I can't bear it. She completely ignored what Charles was saying to Martin about it being unnecessary for them to turn out at that time of night, that there was nothing they could do anyway, that it was just a question of sitting tight and waiting. As far as Beth was concerned, if he didn't want them there, if he didn't need them, he wouldn't have called in the middle of the night …
-OG-
"Have you ever been deployed anywhere apart from Afghan?"
"Nah" She paused "Been to Salisbury Plain if that counts" She heard him give his little laugh again "Oh 'n went to an Adventure Centre in Wales once, did a bit of abseiling and caving 'n stuff, pissed down the whole time we was there, but I haven't been nowhere else exciting"
Mentioning Wales had been a huge mistake, it'd bought back vivid memories of Smurf and of the terrible waste of his life and of his mum and of the day of his funeral, and how they'd held onto each other outside the church, her and Charles, both devastated about what had happened and how everyone had stared at them. Working in a hospital meant she'd almost got used to people dying even though it still upset her, but Smurf's death had been different, she would always feel that she'd failed him, that they'd all let him down somehow.
"Did you really think Afghan was exciting, Molly? I thought it was dirty and dusty and hot and that it smelled putrid not to mention being extremely boring most of the time, when it wasn't terrifying of course … and you couldn't even have a proper shower"
"Yeah you're right"
Once again she wasn't really listening, she was too busy concentrating on pulling herself together. Neither of them knew how long they'd been trapped in this shit-hole, or how long it would be till they got out, but one thing she did know was that Molly James, Molly Dawes that was, 'hard-as-nails' Molly, had never bawled as much as this in her entire life.
-OG-
