The overwhelming silence was starting to get on Casey's nerves. The farm house seemed suddenly empty, with Raph and Don out piecing themselves together in the field somewhere, and Leo and Splinter bawling behind the bedroom door. Casey hated seeing everybody in such a crappy state, and being so helpless to do anything.

He winced as he shifted to ease some of the ache in his back. The couch groaned in protest as he gently re-draped his arm over April's quaking shoulders, as she huddled against him. Dubiously,Casey stared at the bed-room door where Leo had fled, sobbing, and Splinter had hobbled after him. Casey bit his lip, half wondering if it would be better or worse to enter the bedroom, and risk interrupting what was an agonizing moment between Leo and Splinter, or stay where he was.

Casey stared at the beige walls, the light flutter of the gingham curtain in the kitchen, at anything that would provide a distraction from staring at Mikey's corpse.

He squinted at the wan light spilling through the screen door, where Raph and Don had left, and he wondered how long the silence would go on. He glanced at a falling petal, wafting its way to the floor from one of the wilting flowers. He stared at the ceiling, and then shut his eyes to lean back and allow April to fall against him, if that was what she needed now.

Casey hated this.

The helpless, paralyzed ache, the way he wanted to put his fist through a wall, break some bones, and kill whoever did this to his family.

The silence that used to be filled with the noise of four brothers, the horrible way the three left seemed to limp around like a horse with a broken leg.

Raphael, fighting sobs and looking as if he wanted to rip apart something, just to do something.

Donny wondering around dumbly, wringing his hands and staring at Mikey with those huge, empty eyes.

And Leo, curled and and blubbering in Splinter's arm, while the old rat tried and failed to piece his oldest boy back together.

We're all falling apart.

Casey sighed, as he scrubbed his dark hair with a weary hand.

We're all falling apart, and even if we find some way of getting through this, we'll never get back what was lost. It's never going to be the same again.

Casey's hopeless thoughts were interrupted by the quiet snick of the bedroom door being slid open. Almost timidly, Leo gently nudged the door open with his palm, before poking his head through and warily peering at the room.

At his side, Splinter tottered forward on his cane. Leo quickly offered his arm, and the rat gave his eldest son a grateful smile as he hooked his paw to Leo's elbow.

Leo stooped a bit to accommodate Splinter's shorter height, and together, they shuffled into the living room. The old rat gave Leo a solemn nod, as he leaned on his cane and stepped away.

Leo said nothing as he gazed around the room, even as his eyes held both the fresh burn of tears when he looked at Mikey.

And then, Leo turned to the huddled humans, with a wan smile of quiet warmth.

April gave him a tentative quirk of her lips back, as Casey eyed Leo with a raised eyebrow.

"Leo? You doing better?"

"I am." Leo answered, with the quiet certainty that made April's heart ache as she suddenly stood up and wrapped him in a fierce embrace.

Leo stiffened in surprise, but laced one arm over her spine, and carefully pressed her to his plastron.

"April. I'm alright." He whispered as he held her for a brief moment. "I'm alright."

She gave him another embrace, and reluctantly let him go.

Casey cleared his throat for attention. "Sorry to bring up a bad subject, but what's the plan now?"

Leo's eyes slid from Casey to Mikey's corpse, and Splinter's bent back as the old rat picked up one of Mikey's cold hands and held it between his paws. .

"My son, you and your brothers….you have dug Michelangelo's grave?" Splinter asked quietly, as he smoothed out the bright tendril of Mikey's mask.

Leo swallowed. "Yes, Sensei."

Splinter's grip on Mikey's hand tightened. "Mr. Jones. I understand that you were kind enough to make my son a casket?"

"Yeah. It ain't much, though. You don't have to use it, if you don't think it would be appropriate." Casey answered awkwardly.

"Mr. Jones." Splinter turned over his shoulder to face him. "Michelangelo….would have greatly appreciated such a gesture. Your kindness has dignified my son's passing. Laying Michelangelo to rest in a casket made by a family member rather than just the earth will make this sorrowful task a bit more bearable. For that, I thank you."

Splinter very gently lay Mikey's hand back at his side, and lingered a moment more to caress his fingers.

"Leonardo, please. Go and find your brothers. Tonight, we will lay our beloved Michelangelo to rest."

Meanwhile, with Raphael and Donatello…..

The trip back to the farmhouse was even harder to face now that the distance was so short. Even though it was unspoken between them, Raph and Donny both knew they had to go back. Leaving Leo broken, Splinter alone was no longer the issue. Even when Raphael fled to solitude to collect his thoughts and 'get his head on straight,' he never strayed too far from his brothers. Before any of this, Raph would have called his behavior 'clingy.' Now, solitude was a threat. Raph hated to be alone for too long with his thoughts. It scared him too much, even if he would sooner eat burning coal than admit it.

He didn't voice it, but he instinctively turned around to see how far away Donny was with a scowl.

"You ready?" Raphael asked gruffly, and inwardly winced at how stupid the question was as soon as it left his mouth.

Donny only gave him a weary, resigned nod, as he started trudging across the field back to the farm house. Raphael was only a step or two ahead of him, and together, they walked in the wan sun, ignoring the spill of gold in the fields around them, and the dark hint of autumn's chill.

Raphael couldn't think about what they were preparing themselves to do…shutting up their baby brother's corpse in a wooden box, lowering it into that damn gaping hole, and burying Mikey.

So, Raphael didn't. He didn't think of the body, of three turtles going back, of the silence and the emptiness, and saying good-bye.

Raphael just thought about walking forward, and trying to keep his head as empty of those thoughts as possible.

From behind, he heard Donny's sudden snarl of breath, and he stopped. Donny bit back another sob, as he scrubbed away tear.

Raphael whipped around and was at Don's side in a second. "Don. What is it?"

Donny shuddered under Raphael's grip on his shoulders, as he fought the boulder in his throat to speak.

"Raph….I know that we can't just leave Mikey out . We have to bury him." Donny's whisper was a strangled whisper. "We can't leave him out."

Raphael's mouth twisted into a grim line. "Well, yeah…Mikey's body is gonna start rot-"

Donny inhaled a breath through his clenched teeth. "Raph….don't say that, please. I know what happens if we leave Mikey's remains above ground too much longer. Believe me…I know."

Donny held both arms tight against his plastron, in the frail attempt to comfort himself. It was failing miserably.

The tortured anguish flickered over Raphael's face, and lingered before he could mask it.

"Yeah." Raph said curtly, uncertain as to what in the hell he was supposed to say to that.

" We have to do this." Donny tried to force a bit of resolve into his shaking words.

"We've already waited long enough, and it's not going to get any easier." Donny's voice was as frayed as a noose as he recited the useless facts that he could not force himself to accept.

Raphael bit back a growl, as he forced himself to keep his patience. All he wanted to do was bury the mass of meat left behind, and get it done. That bruised, broken thing on the table wasn't Mikey.

Not any more.

Putting it off any more was almost as unbearable as seeing Mikey's corpse again.

"Like you said, putting it off is only gonna make it worse. You ready, then?" Raph jabbed a finger in the direction of the farm house, as Donny shook his head, despairingly.

"Raph…how in the hell do we get ready for this?"

"There isn't any' getting' ready for this." Raphael wagged his fingers in the air for quotation marks. "There's only doing what needs to be done, and that's burying Mikey." Raph hitched his shoulders.

When they came to the house, Raphael steeled himself and marched up the stairs, while Donny abruptly stopped on the porch, and lingered there, not going any further.

"I'll get the casket." Donny choked out. "I'll bring it inside. Can you go ahead and tell Leo that?"

He stared at Raph with those pleading eyes before he stooped to clutch the crude wood of the casket lid.

Something flickered in Raph's eyes, as they narrowed.

"Why in the hell are you fussing about the casket,Don? What damn difference does that make now? I don't-"

"I can't do it!" Donny snarled, as Raphael stared, bewildered.

"You can't what, Don?"Raphael's mouth twisted, the words rammed against his teeth, and died on his lips as Don exhaled a sharp, sobbing breath

"I can't put Mikey in that casket. I can't stand the thought that the last time I touch my baby brother, it will be when I shut his body in a box and putting it into the ground. I'm sorry, Raph. I can't do it."

(Part II of this chapter will be posted next week.)