Things Aren't Always What They Seem

29

Johnny stood leaning on the passenger's side door of Roy's sports car as Roy walked around to the driver's side and got in.

"Roy?"

"Yea, I…well I uh…..I'm really…"

Roy quickly held up his hand with his palm facing John.

"No need, Junior. You'd do the same for me."

He gave his partner a half grin and then opened the passenger's door. He hoped that Joanne wouldn't be disappointed in him for falling apart with Roy. He knew his eyes were red and swollen so she'd know immediately that he'd lost it. Finally, he could take it no more.

"Roy, um….how much does Joanne know?"

"Know about…..?" He drew out the last word so Johnny would know he needed a little more information from him.

Johnny rubbed his index finger across his upper lip as he thought about how to word his next question.

"Well, she knows what all happened to Elaine but, does she know about, well…..how upset I've been?"

Roy knew that the real question John was asking him was 'does Joanne know I've been blaming myself and acting like a total ass to my best friend?' Roy had told Joanne about the whole incident in the cafeteria. Joanne had expressed her concern to Roy about Johnny being angry and turning that anger inward. She hadn't had a chance to talk to John even though she wanted to. She had asked Roy to try to get John to come over to their house to eat a good home cooked meal and at least see a few different sites than the walls of Rampart Hospital. With Harriett meeting with Elaine for a while, he'd been able to talk Johnny into it.

"Johnny, she knows you've had a difficult time. She loves you and so do the kids. Hell, Junior, even I love you." He laughed out loud at his own comment. He even got a snicker out of Johnny and with that he knew that his friend and partner was truly going to be alright.

E!

Harriett knocked on Elaine's door and entered hesitantly when she heard a female voice bid her admittance. She found Elaine sitting up in bed trying to force herself to drink another glass of water.

"Hello Elaine, my name is Harriett Bowman and I'm.."

"Oh yes, you're Ms. McCall's friend, the counselor." Harriett was a bit surprised by how pleasant sounding Elaine was under the circumstances.

"That's right I am. And I understand that you have agreed for us to work together for a while. Is that right?" Harriett not only needed Elaine's permission for treatment but she also needed her cooperation. Elaine would be the engine driving the train. Harriett was only the engineer determining the pace and navigating through tricky twists and turns in the railroad.

"Yes ma'am. I, well, I don't really know where to start."

"Well, first of all let me begin by saying that whatever you say is kept completely confidential. If you want someone to know what we discuss then you tell them or else you'll need to give me written permission to do so. And that includes the doctors and nurses here including Ms. McCall. The only two exceptions to that are if I believe you are a danger to yourself or to someone else. Now that I've set the ground rules, so to speak, you decide where you want to start and we'll go from there. If you want to start at the beginning then that's fine or if you want to start at the end then we'll work backwards. Or, you could keep it interesting for us and start in the middle." Harriett's smile was huge; not patronizing at all but warm and genuine. She had a way about her that put her client's at ease and they seemed to find it easy to talk to her; even about the most intimate and embarrassing details. Their secrets were safe with her and they knew it.

"Before you decide where to start though, I do have a question for you."

"Ok." Elaine was a little bit nervous about having to reveal something uncomfortable immediately during their first session.

Harriett knew that she'd made Elaine a little nervous so she quickly moved forward with her question.

"First, feel free to call me Harriett or Ms. Bowman. I am both and I am either so that's totally up to you. I'll call you whatever you prefer though so just let me know how to address you whenever you feel ready." She noticed Elaine flashed her a smile and she knew she was building a rapport with her newest client.

She then continued with the question she liked to use to begin a session with a new client.

"What is it that you hope to get out of our time together?" Harriett allowed the silence to linger between them as Elaine thought carefully before responding.

E!

Johnny pushed himself away from the table and patted his full stomach. "Joanne that was another fine meal. Thank you for having me over." He smiled at Joanne as she reached out and patted his shoulder while she stood up to get dessert and coffee.

"Well, I'd told Roy to either bring you here or we were going to bring the food to you. I'm glad you came here though. John, do you think Elaine would be able to eat some? I'd love to send her a plate by you when you go back."

Johnny didn't hesitate. "Are you kidding me? I think she'd love it. She's really trying to eat more and gain a little weight so Doc will release her."

"Excellent! I'll fix her a plate then." Joanne brought Roy and John each a piece of apple pie then returned for their coffees. She watched for a moment as her two favorite men dug into their dessert before she turned to fix a plate of food for Elaine. By the time she'd returned with the plates, two empty dessert plates rested on the table as they began slurping their coffee.

"Now, John, just as soon as Elaine is up to it we'd like to have her over for dinner. She's important to you and that makes her very important to us." She gave him a playful wink.

"Aw, she'd, I mean we'd really like that. She's …." He hesitated then staring at his fingers as they curled around the coffee cup. "She's kind of alone, I guess is the best way to say it. I mean, well…..you said that she was important to me which makes her important to you. But, I don't think she thinks she's important to anybody…maybe not even me. It's sad really. She is such a wonderful person but…..well, so much has happened to where, uh….she doesn't think she's important or really matters to anybody." He shook his head negatively then.

Joanne's face lit up like a light bulb. "Well, we just have to show her then don't we?"

Joanne didn't elaborate on the topic then. She still had to think through a few things first before she brought the guys in on it.

"Johnny, do you know what the plans are for her when she's discharged? I mean, she probably doesn't want to be alone yet does she?" Roy had already discussed this subject with Joanne and they had both agreed on the plan they were about to present to John.

"Well, I was kinda hoping that she'd maybe come over to my place and stay for a while. My apartment is bigger than hers and my couch lets out into a bed so….."

"And what about when you're on shift?" Joanne had a glint in her eye and a smile on her face. Johnny knew she was cooking up something and he hoped he was right about what it was.

"Ah, I also have more neighbors so I'm hoping she'll be ok there alone for just one…"

"Absolutely not! I will not allow that. She can stay here with me and the kids when you two are on shift until she feels like moving back into her apartment…..whenever that may be."

Johnny smiled at the look on Roy's face. That was a tone they both knew well. Joanne DeSoto would definitely get her way on this one.

"You guys are…..I don't even have the right words for how wonderful the two of you are to me and now to include Lainie into our.." He hesitated a little too long and Joanne once again completed his sentence for him.

"The word is family, John. We are a family."

Johnny smiled to himself. Yea, and right now Lainie really needs a family.

E!

Roy drove up to the entrance of Rampart and let Johnny out. He giggled a little to himself as Johnny tried to close the door with his hip while balancing two plates in his hands.

"Oh Lordy, that was close." Johnny felt a blush color his cheeks. He'd never be forgiven by either Joanne or Lainie if he'd dropped the plates.

"Thanks again, Roy….I really mean it. And please give Joanne a kiss of thanks for me." Joanne always appreciated his pecks on her cheek as a way of saying 'thank you' for all the delicious meals she'd prepared for him over the years.

Roy gave his partner a playful grin. "Kids are gone to her sister's, partner….I'm hoping to give her more than a kiss on the cheek."

Johnny blushed at the uncharacteristic comment from his partner. "Ok, then get going alright." Johnny shook his head. It felt good to joke around with his friend again.

He knew that Harriett had been gone from Elaine's room for quite a while and he wasn't sure if Elaine would be crying, sleeping or laughing. He struggled to knock on her door while holding onto the plates and was relieved when a cheerful voice said, "come in."

"Hey, Baby." He held up the plates, "compliments of Joanne DeSoto."

He was very encouraged to see her smile…from her chin to her forehead. He hadn't seen her smile like that since before…well, since the last night they'd gone out together.

"She sent all that…..for me?"

"Yep, and let me just tell ya…..it beats anything this place has to offer." Johnny set the plates down on her bed tray and removed the foil wrapping. "Now…uh-oh….. be right back."

Elaine was still giggling when he returned from the nurse's station with a few pieces of silverware for her to use. It wasn't long before she was eating and thoroughly enjoying the meal. Johnny sat back and watched her eat over half of what was on her plate and most of her dessert. Her appetite was returning; she was doing everything she could to rehydrate herself without the assistance of intravenous fluids and she was smiling again. His Lainie was indeed coming back from the depths of hell Oto had pushed her into and he was filled with a sense of joy. Lainie, you are such a wonderful and strong lady. And Harriett, you are a miracle worker.

When she had finished her dessert she laid her head back on her pillow. That was the most she'd eaten in one sitting in a very long time and she felt somewhat stuffed. She hoped her ulcer was healing enough that she could keep it all down. Thankfully, Joanne had prepared the baked chicken, green beans and creamed corn with very little seasoning. When Johnny saw that she was finished he removed the plates and pushed the tray away from her enough that he could sit down on the bed with her and hold her hand for a moment.

"Lainie, I've been thinking about when you get discharged. Will you please come and stay with me for a while? I'm just not ready to leave you alone yet, ya know? And Joanne wants you to stay with her and the kids when Roy and I are on shift. Just until you are comfortable being in your apartment alone…please?" Johnny's insecurities burst through the walls of his mind and he could have kicked himself then. Hadn't Harriett told him that Elaine needed to make her own decisions about everything; even the little things? He wondered if perhaps he'd overstepped that boundary by telling her that he wasn't ready to leave her alone yet.

Elaine thought briefly about what she and Harriett had discussed a couple of hours earlier. Harriett had asked her what she'd hoped to gain out of their time together and with a lot of thought Elaine had told her that what she wanted most was to learn to trust again. She and Johnny both had their insecurities about themselves and where their relationship was heading. She realized in her heart of hearts, she'd never be able to love Johnny the way she wanted to and she'd never be able to allow him to love her the way she wanted to until she learned to trust him; even though he'd never done anything to breach her trust. For reasons that neither of them could change, he was currently living in Oto's shadow. Elaine wanted more than anything to get rid of that shadow so that she could open her heart and soul to Johnny. She looked up at him and realized he was looking down at the blanket covering her legs and picking at some insignificant piece of lent. She needed to give him an answer quickly before he took her hesitation personally.

"Johnny, I'd really like that…if it won't be too much of a bother." Johnny's smile left her with no doubts. He didn't consider her a bother. Maybe they both needed this more than they realized.

A/N: Well, one chapter left to be written. Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing.