Kanye West interrupted me! Several times!
Chapter 29: Sailing for Adventure!
It was slow going to get back to Andy's room. At least it was for me. I had to WALK the entire way after all. Yes you heard correctly. It had come to the universal decision that we should get the injured/crazy people back quickly. Arguably, I could be considered as crazy but…whatever. Axel declared that he had to go on the bike because he had Demyx after all. That was reasonable. And then Woody was hanging onto Buzz, who's blasted helmet took up the space of two people or so. Then Sora said he had to go because he's the poncy hero and he elected Goofy as Batmobile driver. I think it was because no one wanted Donald to drive anymore. In fact, he was kicked off the island and made to walk with me. That was simply HORRIBLE. You know how I fight with Sora? Try multiplying that by 10 with Donald. It didn't help that I couldn't really focus on good comebacks, what with Demyx 's non-existent life hanging in the balance right now.
I shook my head to clear out the depressing thoughts. I'll be depressed when I get there. Squibs skittered ahead of me on the sidewalk, his claws making a funny sound on the pavement. So what better to distract me than a duck who can be set off by the smallest comment?
"Donald, I have a question."
"What is it? It better not be stupid." He grumbled as he slid a sideways glance at me. Of course it is! This is me we're talking about!
"Why is it that wrap a towel around your waist when you get out of the shower even though you don't wear pants?" Odd occurrences in Disney cartoons. Though Mickey does tend to run around shirtless 90 percent of the time. Donald didn't answer but his expression grew darker.
"You know what would be really terrible? If there was a Small World World! All those creepy dolls and you being trapped in a boat as they drive that song into you head…that would be horrible!"
"Small World World? What is Small World?" Which hole in the ground did he crawl out of?
"You've never heard of the song? Or been on the ride?" I received a blank stare. Time to turn this into a musical.
"It's a world of laughter, a world of tears. It's a world of hopes, it's a world of fear. There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware it's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all, IT'S A SMALL, SMALL WORLD!"
"Is that all?"
"There is just one moon and one golden sun, and a smile means friendship to everyone. Though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide it's a small, small world! IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL! IT'S AFTER-!" Donald thwacked me over the head with his staff, causing me to bite my tongue.
"Pipe down!" He shrieked angrily at me. I scowled at him as I rubbed the bump that was forming as he started to walk away. Much to my own annoyance, I had gotten the song stuck in my head and was now humming it rather loudly. Donald was apparently as annoyed as I was.
"That's a rather nasty tick you've developed." I said with a sideways smile. His eyebrow…thingy twitched.
"It's your fault!" That's how it went the entire way.
We arrived in Andy's Room who knows how much later than everyone else. I was dead last to drag my sorry carcass in. Reason being that stairs are my arch nemesis and my depression had taken hold of me again, causing me to want to see my pal but also avoid the room like the plague. So after debating with myself for 15 minutes outside the door I decided that I had better get it over with and slithered in the door.
"Welcome back." Sora the pygmy replied sarcastically from up top the bed. He was lounging near the edge, just waiting to be pushed. To bad I wasn't up there otherwise I would have done it already. Squibs? Will you do it for a Scooby Snack?
"How's Demyx?" I asked walking further into the room, looking for the tell tale Mohawk.
"Gone." Sora replied. It took me a minute for my mind to wrap around all possible meanings of the word.
"What?" I asked, horror stricken, "As in…dead?" Sora laughed at that.
"Don't I wish! Axel took him back to wherever to see if he could get him healed." He explained. My shoulders dropped in relief.
"But he's not gone gone is he?"
"How should I know?"
"So now I have to sit here wondering if he'll need to be mummified or not?" I growled.
"I guess so." Sora smiled before disappearing. I am going to SLAP that boy! He is no help at all.
After our short conversation, I wandered around to see what everyone was doing. Buzz was apparently back to his usual Helpy Helperton and was helping Sora fix the Gummi Ship with Duct tape. There are now 1002 uses for Duct tape.
"So when are we leaving?" I called up to Sora as I sat down for a game of Risk against a few army guys. Australia is MINE!
"When we're done." He called back.
"Where's that bonding strip?" I heard Buzz call.
"When will that be?"
"Soon." Sora answered.
"How soon?"
"SOON!" I smirked at his orneriness and went back to concentrating on world domination.
"EFF THIS GAME!" I screeched as I trampled over Brazil to kick a bunch of little pieces off the game board causing Squibs and Bulba to dive for cover. I then stomped up through Central America, across the U.S of A and into Canada to scatter more pieces about the room. Who wants Saskatchewan anyway? I don't. Sounds more like a sneeze than anything. It was obvious to anyone who had witnessed my little temper tantrum that I had lost. Quite horribly too. I was by no means a strategist and after I lost Australia, it all went straight to hell. The army dudes, though terrified, were extremely pleased with themselves. After a few minutes of Godzilla-ing all over the world, Rex and Bo Peep appeared on the scene, each carrying a few game pieces in their arms.
"What is going on here?" Rex asked as he dropped the little pieces into their proper compartment in the box. I didn't answer. Simply grumbled and cussed. Rex lifted his head a little higher and began to sniff the air.
"Does anyone else smell old, sour milk?" he asked. Bo Peep sniffed the air a little and her sheep began to gravitate towards me, already knowing that I was the source of the odd smell.
"That'd probably be me. I fell into a bowl of cereal when I was at Sid's house." I said as I held the hem of my tank away from my skin. My clothes were now dry with a nice coating of crusties. They also crunched and flaked whenever I moved. It was quite gross. Bo Peep giggled behind her hand suddenly.
"If you'd like, I have a spare dress that'd you could borrow." She offered. How is that even possible? Isn't her dress painted onto her skin? She's part of a lamp why would she come with another outfit?
"Are you sure that it'll fit?" I asked, taking into account her impossibly tiny waist. She only nodded. I shrugged in response. She took that to be a yes and motioned for me to follow her. She told me to go into the bathroom so that I could clean up.
I'll admit, I never thought that I would be able to swim in a sink. The reason I chose the sink? Because there were multiple toy sharks swimming in the bathtub. Though I'm sure they were friendly, heck they even called out their greetings to me, it's the fact that they were still sharks and I had seen Jaws at a very young age, which scarred me for life. After cleaning myself up, I dried off and saw near the door a small folded up outfit. In the pit of my stomach, I knew that this was probably not going to be a very smart idea.
"What are you doing in there!" Sora yelled, pounding on the door. I didn't answer but stared at myself in the mirror in horror. I think I just died a little inside.
"Come on it's been over an hour we're ready to leave!"
"Typical girl." Donald grumbled.
"I'm NOT…under any circumstances…coming out." I screeched. I heard a scoff from behind the door.
"Come on it can't be that bad."
"You don't know the half of it." I mumbled as I glanced down at myself. It was almost an exact replica of Bo Peep's dress. Except the pink on her dress was replaced horrible shade of tangerine orange on mine. The little jacket thing was orange, the dots were orange…I looked like a walking oompa loompa! The front was an ugly pale yellow color. Very few people can wear yellow and look good in it. I was not one of them. The neckline had lace. I didn't like it. It was itchy. The skirt ballooned out, ending in an actual hoop skirt. I was also forced into fugly bloomers and mary jane shoes. I shuddered as I looked at my reflection. There was more angry pounding on the door.
"Let's go! Do you want to be left behind?" Sora yelled. It was time to face the music. I slowly made my way down, my skirt trying to stop me the entire way, until I made it safely to ground level and opened the door.
I expected Sora's reaction. As well as Donald's. Donald was openly rolling around on the floor, tears of mirth in his eyes. Sora was covering his mouth but I could see his shoulders shaking uncontrollably.
"You know I don't look good." I growled as I set my glare from stun to kill.
"That's true." Sora agreed. Thanks. That's exactly what I wanted to hear. I turned to the side and gazed down at my backside out of the corner of my eye.
"Does this dress-!"
"Of course it makes you look fat." Sora blurted. He saw the murderous rage gleaming in my eye before hightailing it out of there. He was smart to run.
If I actually did look horrible, the other toys didn't say so. Except for Mr. Potato Head. But everyone knows that he's just a big fat jerk so I didn't take anything coming from him to heart. I was offended when Squibs shook with laughter. There goes your Christmas present! Bulba didn't do anything because I still haven't figured out if he has eyes or not.
"Now that we've all had a great big laugh at my expense, let's move along." I ordered while placing my hands on my hips. It's hard to look intimidating in this dress.
"I think that if you jumped off somewhere high, the dress might parachute out and save your life." Sora laughed before turning and walking away again. I searched out Bo Peep. She clutched at her staff in fear as I grabbed the front of her dress and shook her slightly.
"Normally I can handle a dress but this is just down right humiliating. Is there any one else that can lend me some clothes?" I asked almost foaming at the mouth. She frantically shook her head in response. I let her go and stomped away, which only made me look like a four year old who hadn't gotten her way.
I couldn't sit down. The hoop on the end of the skirt made it down right impossible. It just added to the proof that Bo Peep had given me a tent instead of actual clothing. So I was stuck leaning up against the bedpost as Sora and Buzz finished up the Gummi Ship. Soon enough, it was ready with its questionable duct taped door. With that back in place and the rest of the ship ready for another flight, Sora deemed it time to leave.
"Well we have to hit the road. The faster I get rid of her the better." Sora said with a smirk.
"You." I pointed at him, "Quiet your face."
"It was nice meeting all of you. Glad you're ok Buzz." The space ranger nodded before slinging an arm around the much taller cowboy.
"I have my friend Woody to thank for coming after me. And you guys. Thank you." He said with a blinding smile.
"It wasn't a problem. We were happy to do it." Puh? Speak for yourself Sora! After we said our goodbyes and I herded Squibs and Bulba into the ship, we boarded the Gummi ship and took off.
"So where are we going this time?" I asked as I tried to lounge in the chair. We had been flying for hours and I still had no idea where we were going.
"Hopefully if we don't have any more detours, we can actually make it to Yensid's." Sora shouldn't have said anything. Or at least he should have knocked on wood. Not 5 minutes after he made that little tic-tac of a comment, the door started to shake horribly on its hinges. I felt that this was a most distressing development.
"Please tell me we're almost there because I don't think that the door is going to hold out much longer!" I said loudly from my place on the wall after about a half hour of listening to the door rattle. I was in the corner of shame. Infact, they took out a restraining order against me. I'm not allowed within 10 feet of the dashboard of the Gummi Ship. The door shook again, letting small gusts of wind inside. This is what you get for fixing a door with Duct Tape.
"Almost." Sora replied distractedly as he manhandled the steering wheel. Something on the dashboard suddenly started to beep.
"What's that?" I called over the loud rattling of the door. Sora pressed a few buttons but the beeping didn't cease.
"We're loosing pressure in engine two."
'Oh great.' I rolled my eyes.
"What do we do now?" Goofy asked.
"I turned off engine two and gave full power to engine one. Hopefully that will be enough to get us to a safe spot to land. We probably won't be able to make it to Yensid's so we'll have to land in Port Royal so we can try to fix it.." Sora explained before looking at me out of the corner of his eye, "I hope you know that this is all YOUR fault."
"It is not." I replied. I never noticed until now, but Sora can really hold a grudge.
"Is too."
"Is not!" Squibs and Bulba watched us bicker back and forth, looking rather amused. At least I think that they did.
"It is and you know it!" He shouted back as the ship suddenly lurched and my stomach flipped. I grit my teeth in annoyance as I braced myself against the wall.
"It is not! In fact, it's YOUR fault for getting hit in the head and losing consciousness. So nyeh!" I stuck my tongue out at him as I arched off the wall I was leaning against and slowly walked towards him. I came to a stop directly behind his chair and remained silent but blankly staring at the back of his head. Sora shifted a little before settling again, staring out into the expanse of water. I continued to loom over him and a smile crept across my face.
'His Rasengan would spin to the left.' I noted absentmindedly as I stared at a small hair whorl. Sora suddenly hunkered down a little in his seat. He slowly turned so that he could barely see me out of the corner of his eye.
"Would you stop that?" he growled. It never fails. The old stand-and-stare-at-them-till-they're-nervous trick was working beautifully. I shrugged.
"Stop what? I'm not doing anything."
"You're standing there staring at me. Cut it out."
"So I can't look at you?"
"No."
"Then what should I do?"
"Just…go over there and do nothing." He said with a head jerk backwards in the direction that I had come from.
"It's technically impossible to do nothing." Being that Sora was in a bad mood, he wasn't as fun to pick on. Thoroughly bored now, I started to trudge back to the corner of shame. I do not like the corner of shame. Luckily, I didn't end up there. I ended up in a place far worse.
About halfway to the corner of shame, there was a loud ripping sound, followed by the groaning of buckling metal. My attention was directed to Sora, who was looking back at me in confusion.
"The door!" Donald panicked as he pointed his staff in the direction of the door…just before the lock finally cracked and the door was ripped clean off! There was a millisecond of silence before there was a thunderous roar followed by intense wind suction. My ears popped and I felt a rather unpleasant breeze around my nether regions. Thank god for those bloomers that I had been forced into. Whatever was not secured in the ship was immediately flying out the hole where the door had been. Myself being one of them. Though Squibs and Bulba were completely safe and buckled in because I'm a good mommy. I scrambled for my footing as I began to slide across the smooth metal floor of the ship but the wind was becoming way too strong. I flailed and with a combination of the vacuum-esque wind, I was sucked out the door! My only saving grace was that the bottom of the hoop skirt caught on one of the busted hinges.
So there I was dangling upside down, arms flailing, out the gaping hole where the door used to be. I tried to scream but at the speed at which we were going, it was immediately shoved back down my throat. I felt something grab one of my kicking legs and looked down…well actually it would be up…and saw Goofy trying to pull me up by the ankle. He braced himself against the doorframe and when he noticed that pulling me up by the ankle wasn't getting anywhere, he reached out a hand for me to attempt to grab. Keyword is attempt.
"Take my hand!" he yelled against the roaring wind. Great now my hair is going to be all messed up.
"I…I can't!" I struggled to reach but my hand kept slipping out of his, "You're hand's all sweaty!" There was a tearing sound, sounding suspiciously like ripping fabric, and my heart leapt into my throat. I watched in horror as the fabric slowly tore not being able to support my weight. There was a brief moment of stillness before I was free falling towards the ocean at an alarming pace.
As I somersaulted helplessly through the air, all I could hope for was that we weren't as high as I originally thought. I wrestled to see through my watering eyes and saw that I had all but 15 seconds or so before I would belly flop into the ocean.
'I never made up my will! I hereby leave everything to my cat!' I thought with panic. As I hit the surface, I realized that someone replaced the ocean…with concrete. I hit that water so hard, that my face will probably be numb for a week. I opened my eyes as I struggled to find the right way up in the water and kicked for the surface.
I opened my mouth too early. So instead of breathing some nice crisp sea air, I got a lung full of salt water and came up hacking with the steady burn of unfiltered salt in my throat.
"Ahhhhh-oooow!" I pretty much shouted at the uncaring sky as I tread water rather pathetically. It hurt to even move my face. Once the pain had lessened a little, I got myself under control and looked around. I was in the middle of the ocean with not a shred of land in sight and the sky was devoid of anything resembling a Gummi Ship.
"Oh man…this is not good! No me gusta!" I whimpered. I glanced down at my feet in the water and was disheartened to just see my ugly mary jane'd feet lazily kicking and no sign of the ocean bottom.
"Oh my god…this is gunna be just like Open Water isn't it! I'm going to be picked off by sharks!" I muttered to myself as I frantically spun in circles keeping a look out for those nasty fish.
'Wait. Calm down…calm down.' I coached myself. I didn't want to swim anywhere (knowing my luck, I'd end up in the Antarctic) and I had nothing to float on. This is what I would consider a no-win situation.
'Crap what do I do? I can't swim too far otherwise I'll get tired and probably end up drowning.' I could feel it. The start of panic bubbling up in my chest. I decided to swim a little ways, not that it would really accomplish anything at all. But at least I was doing something and not just floating there like a cork.
Swimming was hard. Dresses do not make attempting to swim a cakewalk. The only plus was that the fall had ripped the hoop completely out of the bottom of my dress, making it deflate entirely. And my shoes were water logged and beginning to hurt so I just took them off along with my 'stockings' and let them sink to the depths of the Caribbean. After swimming a little farther, my scenery hadn't changed much if at all.
'Ok le'see here.' I thought as I doggy paddled my through the low rolling waves, 'Wonder what time it is? Maybe the sun can help me out.' I turned my eyes to the sun and saw that it was in the middle of the sky, meaning that was around noon or so. Nothing left to do but keep swimming.
'Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming swimming swimming. What do we do? We keep on swi-i-i-i-mming!'
I can't imagine the amount of time had passed. Maybe hours. Maybe only 15 minutes. Whatever the case, battling against currants and waves had left me exhausted, which was why I was currently floating on my back, probably receiving a particularly nasty sunburn.
"Sora better be looking for me." I sighed as struggled to stay afloat. I prided myself on being a particularly decent swimmer but floating on my back was something that I was never able to grasp. That didn't last long as I felt something touch my arm. In shear panic, I sunk below the surface with a flail, only to come back out and back paddle quickly. I saw what touched me and immediately felt like an idiot. Just a piece of seaweed.
'Thank god it wasn't a jellyfish.' I thought with a shiver. Witness my other fear besides heights: the dreaded jellyfish. They ranked right behind heights but before centipedes. I giggled nervously and swam away from the long floating strands of plant life. I lazily began to sidestroke through the waves.
Sometime later I was in the middle of throwing myself a pity party when my eyes finally settled on something far off into the distance. I stopped swimming and squinted into the evening sun. With my deplorable vision, it was amazing that I even saw it at all.
"Wassat?" I asked. "It looks like something white with a little thingy way up on the top. Urg! Darn my horrible vision! It looks like…a ship! I'm saved!" I gave a hysterical laugh and immediately started swimming towards it.
It had taken me hours! So long in fact that the sun had already sunk beneath the ocean leaving the world in darkness and me extremely nervous. Nothing reminds you more of how small you are in the world than being in a vast ocean at night. I also became slightly disoriented at night and now could not see if anything was swimming below me. It all the more fueled my need to get to that blasted ship which for the longest time never seemed to get any closer.
I swam like my life depended on it…which it did. I was within maybe 20 feet of the ship when I could barely make out the ship's flag of origin.
'It's British. And…that helps me how?' I thought snidely to myself as I pushed my tired limbs towards the looming ship. As I swam closer, I began to see a few dudes walking around on the deck.
"Man overboard!" suddenly sounded in the air. I started a bit and looked up to see a guy watching me over the deck rail. Another man, this one a bit taller, shortly joined him. I could hear a few more footsteps running around and soon, there was 10 guys watching me swim to the side of the ship.
"Come to the side and climb the ladder young miss!" One called as he watched me, all the while walking on the deck towards the ladder.
'No thanks. I thought I'd just swim around in the ocean forever.' I thought sarcastically as I sluggishly made my way to the ladder. Once I had a decent grip, I slowly and rather clumsily made my way up the ladder. A hand appeared in front of my face to assist me and I gladly accepted it. The man was easily able to pull me aboard and once I was safely aboard, I sat there like a limp noodle…with a large portion of British soldiers looking down at me. I was slowly aware that I was starting to shiver.
"Young miss are you alright? How long have you been adrift?" One asked as he kneeled down to look me in the eye. No I am NOT all right! I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I have prunes for fingers! I heard another murmur for someone to grab me a blanket and a soldier ran off to find one.
"I've been out there since noon or so." I explained.
"Move aside. Coming through." A chilly voice cut through the equally chilly night air. The men backed away and made way for the new comer. He finally came to a stop infront of me and gazed down at me critically. OMGWTFBBQ!
"What do we have here? A castaway?" Lord Cutler Beckett asked. I'm not kidding! My first thought (after ranting and raving in my head of course) was to punch him right in that smirking mouth of his. He totally deserves it for what he's done. I semi-quickly convinced my gummi legs into action and slowly, with the help of handy dandy random British Sailor 46, I was able to stand. A scratchy wool blanket was quickly draped over my shoulders and I wrapped it around me.
"So who are you castaway?" Beckett asked. Me? A castaway? I don't think so. Last time I checked, I did not have a volleyball with a face drawn on it as a pet.
"My name is Megan." I said with no real enthusiasm. We both scanned each other critically. I'll admit that he is rather intimidating. Even for his lack of height. I'm pretty sure Jack would have won if he were to ever fight him. He could probably pick him up and throw him. I might be able to too…with a little effort. If all else failed, I could beat him up for his lunch money.
"Well Miss Megan I am Lord Cutler Beckett, the captain of this ship; the Dauntless." He paused for dramatic effect. I think pausing for dramatic effect must be a villain thing. It's written in their DNA.
"Ok…" I said rather questioningly. Sensing I was neither impressed nor intimidated, he took a small step closer to me. He was even shorter up close.
'When did we get to Munchkin land?' I sputtered a laugh. I quickly tried to cover it up but I didn't get too far. A few more giggles escaped.
"What pray tell is so funny young miss?" He demanded, his sharp blue eyes trying to penetrate my soul. My soul can kick your soul's butt!
'Don't be afraid! He consumes baby skulls and fear. And he spits on puppies in his spare time.' I thought and before I knew it I was hunched over, snorting, hands braced on my knees for support and laughing uncontrollably. My image was ruined. Not that I honestly cared.
"I believe the sun has gone to her head sir. She has the madness." A soldier commented quietly to Beckett. He gave a small nod in agreement. Well being stuck in a crummy ocean for hours can do that to a person. I brought myself under control and looked up at Beckett.
'Lord Taco Hat.' I snickered some more before straightening to my full height. I will never be able to take him seriously ever again. But then again, I never really did.
"Miss Megan, we will take you as far as Port Royal. Unfortunately-!"
"When will we arrive?" I interrupted. He scowled a little at it. Aw…did I make the little midget angry? What's he gonna do? Kick me in the kneecap?
"Late morning. Now as I was saying, the hour is late. Much too late for young ladies to be awake." Ok dad. I quirked an eyebrow at him.
"Unfortunately, we do not have enough room to accommodate you." He said. It was silent on the deck.
"So where will I sleep?" I asked rather nervously. A rather creepy smile slithered across Beckett's lips and his general aura of 'You're not worthy to breathe the same air as I' returned. That's never a good sign.
The door clanged shut and I was left in the awkward silence, all by my lonesome.
"My first time in jail and I haven't even done anything!" I muttered as I took in my cage. In what I think might have been a clever ploy by Mr. Beckett to contain me and prevent me from laughing at him any more, I was placed in the brig. It was disappointing, yet humorous at the same time. They were nice enough to give me a decent meal when they discovered that there was a raging bear living in my stomach and Beckett had assured me that someone would come to retrieve me in the morning. Until then though, I was left to amuse myself. I heaved a sigh and turned and walked to the bench on the wall. I sat down heavily and stared at the floor planks above.
"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts deedle-le-dee. There they are a-standing in a row. Big ones small ones some as big as your head!" I sang merrily to myself to pass the time as I crossed my right leg over my left, foot keeping time by bobbing. After making Monty Python proud, I scoured my mind for other songs to sing.
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Heroes in a half shell. TURTLE POWER!"
I was just pitting Raphael and Michelangelo against each other in my head, placing all my cookies on Raphael to win, when I heard someone come tromping down the stairs.
'Who dat? Who dere?' I wondered. The man finally came into full view but still remained a mystery because the candlelight hadn't reached his face yet.
"Pardon me miss. I was sent to inquire if you would be needing anything." He finally stepped into the light and I could see that he was a rather portly fellow. He was not the most handsome but he looked like he enjoyed a good laugh.
'Hey! It's that guy! The one who tried to stop Jack at the docks and got into an argument about the Pearl! What's his name? Starts with an M…I think. Maron? No. Mugrot? No way. Um…it's on the tip of my tongue!' I thought with a screwed up expression.
"Miss?" he questioned. He fidgeted a little. Apparently, I was staring right at him with a scrunched up face, trying to think of his name. If I don't think of this soon, it will eventually eat me away from within till I'm just a lifeless husk of a human. To prevent such a tragedy, I'll just ask him.
"What's your handle?"
"My what?" he asked as he blinked a few times.
"Your name. What's your name?" A look of relieved understanding passed over his face.
"Mullroy miss." He said with confidence. The world makes sense yet again!
"It's nice to meet you Mullroy." I said with the most charming smile I could muster.
"Likewise miss Megan." He gave the traditional 'Bro headnod' and I nodded back.
"Would you be requiring anything?" he asked again. Yes I do require items. I have a laundry list of them. Another decent meal (hey shut up! I'm hungry all right?), some new clothes, a shower, my own bed, my minions, air conditioning, and I would kill for a Pepsi right now. But since most of those things were out of the question…
"No. But I would like to know what time it is." I said as I got up and approached the bars. He gave his crooked smile.
"I believe I can fix that." He said brightly, reaching into his waistcoat for his pocket watch. Someone else quickly jogged down the stairs and came to a stop next to him. It was his skinny friend.
"What's taking so long? It's almost your turn." He said. Now what was HIS name? They never said in the movies so I trusted Wikipedia to tell me what I needed. But now I didn't remember! ARGH!
"You! With the face!" I suddenly pointed through the bars. Both men looked up, noticed that I was pointing at them and turned to look at each other. Mullroy pointed unsurely to himself.
"Me young miss?"
"No. The guy next to you. You." The other guy almost mimicked the finger point to himself. "Yes you. Your name. What is it?"
"Murtogg miss."
"Ah. I give my salutations to you good sir." I smiled. Another bro head nod.
"Turn in what?" I asked. Trying to make conversation.
"Eh?" they asked in sync. What were you twins at one point?
"You came down saying it was almost his turn for something."
"Oh cards young miss. A group of us are playing cards." Murtogg smiled.
"Game?"
"Poker."
"Stakes?"
"Duties." The rapid-fire questions seemed to stop after that.
"As you requested, it is half past midnight." Mullroy said as he checked a pocket watch. I groaned and pretty much bashed my forehead on the bars.
"Miss? Are you alright?" Mullroy asked.
"So…BORED!"
"You should sleep." Murtogg suggested. As if. The law of the universe stated that by now I should be exhausted and entering a coma. But I wasn't. I couldn't explain why. It was just one of those nights that you didn't want to sleep.
"Nah." I shook my head, "Hey…are there any more cards? Do you guys want to play cards with me?" I asked.
"It's not proper for ladies to gamble." Murtogg declared and Mullroy nodded in agreement. I gave them both the stink face. Cripe these two were uptight.
"I don't want to gamble. I have nothing to gamble with. Plus I suck at it. Just a friendly game." I explained, looking a little desperate. They still looked a little skeptical.
"Come interact with me! My head's about to explode from the sudden depletion of social human to human relations!" They talked it over amongst themselves for a minute more before they ultimately agreed and Mullroy went to track down another deck of cards.
When he returned I asked to be let out of the brig. It's hard to play and see the cards properly when I'm in jail and they're not. That was the one thing I could not persuade them to do however. And it's all Beckett's fault. He had given everyone strict orders not to let me out till morning or without his permission. Technically…it was morning. But I was handed the ratty deck of cards and I sat down Indian style in front of the bars and began to shuffle the deck. Though what I was doing probably couldn't be considered shuffling. It was more along the lines of a very tame 52 pick up. Both guards sank to the floor and waited.
"Perhaps I should shuffle." Mullroy said as he noticed my struggling and reached out to take the cards from me.
"NO!" I screeched childishly, "I can do it."
"What are we playing?" Murtogg asked.
"Who's up for a game of Go Fish?"
We didn't just play Go Fish. I also taught them Texas Hold Em, 21, War, Speed, and Spoons. It's hard to be sneaky when reaching through prison bars for a spoon but I still annihilated them. I even taught them how to play Pazaak. It was a chore on figuring out how to number and code the cards but I eventually got it. It turns out that Murtogg has good instincts when playing Pazaak. My instincts are just as deplorable as Atton's. Anyways, they copped out on me a little while later. Something about being responsible to their duties and such but we all know that they just went to sleep.
I spent the next hour trying to build a house of cards. Have you ever tried to build a house of cards on a ship that's rolling through the waves? Not good times. Add the fact that I never was able to actually construct a house of cards and see what you get then. Anyways I conked out at some ridiculous time on the floor and was rudely waken up what seemed like only minutes later. There was a clanging of the key turning in the lock and I wrenched my eyes open.
"Good morning miss!" A familiar voice crowed happily. You can't see it Mullroy, but I just killed you three times in my mind. And they were most gruesome in nature. I grunted and rolled over so that I was facing the wall, fully planning on returning to dreamland.
"It's a beautiful Saturday morning and Lord Beckett has given permission that you may come about now." He said swinging the door open.
"You must be mistaken. Saturdays do not have mornings." I grunted.
"Oh come now Miss Megan, if you keep sleeping life will pass you by." He said.
"Then tell life that I'll meet up with it later." I answered. He paused for a minute.
"You'll miss breakfast."
"Doesn't matter." I said a split second before my stomach rumbled loudly. Thank you for nothing, you useless organ. I huffed but finally sat up, my back cracking several times on the way up. I'm only 20 and my bones already sound like an elephant tromping on packing peanuts. I turned to look at Mullroy and saw that he was wearing a look of slight disgust. Oh so he's one of THOSE people is he? I grinned and interlocked my fingers together. I held them out in front of me and cracked my knuckles. I watched with satisfaction as Mullory flinched. My silent revenge was complete.
After breakfast was had, I ran my fingers through my hair only to find them entangled in a snarly rat's nest. There was nothing I could do so I went up on deck.
"Ah good morning young miss." Beckett greeted when he saw me emerge. I grumbled.
"I trust you slept well?" I grumbled in reply.
"How has your day been so far?" You mean the 15 minutes that I've been conscious?
"This morning was good…but then I got up." He grinned in response. I think my misery brings him happiness. A midshipman brought him a cup of tea with a lemon wedge on the side. He picked up the wedge and not so daintily crushed it between his fingers and allowed the juice to drip into his tea.
"You are free to wander about the ship as long as you do not interfere with my men and their duties." He said before taking a sip. He kept his eyes on me from over the rim of the cup. CREEPER! Where did they even FIND this guy? He just kinda showed up in the second movie and that was the end of it.
"I do have one question for you Miss Megan." Great. I kept silent, waiting for him to continue.
"Have you ever heard of Jack Sparrow?" At the mention of his name, I almost blurted out 'CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow' but thankfully I stamped that urge down.
"Who?" I asked after making a show of thinking intensively for a moment.
"A black hearted pirate I intend to capture. If you hear of any news regarding him and his whereabouts, be sure to notify me at once." I nodded in agreement even though it was obvious that I was going to do no such thing. Why would I turn in the greatest pirate to ever sail the sea?
"Forgive me for not asking before but would you like some tea?"
"No thank you." I replied curtly.
"Very well. It shall be a few hours till we reach port. Now if you'll excuse me I have matters to attend to." Like powdering your wig? He left me standing on deck and returned to his cabin. After a few minutes of aimlessly footling about on deck, I began to imitate almost everyone I saw. I could tell that it annoyed the crew. And that's what made it so fun. Beckett was the best. When he would walk about on deck, I would sneak behind him and imitate his walk. It's really easy. Everyone can do it! I'll teach it to you! All you have to do is walk with your nose so high in the air that you can't see the people that you happen to trod on. Also be sure to have a scowl on your face. You also have to move rather slowly and gracefully like your gliding. The beauty pageant walk. He also has a kind of swishy-swishy movement going with his arms. It's not very noticeable but it's there. So when I ended up over dramatically imitating him, I looked more like that Martian lady in 'Mars Attacks'. He would stop and peer behind him out of the corner of his eye and I would scramble to look like I was doing something else. This continued for a while. I would trail behind him and he would get more and more annoyed. But he never did anything apart from balling his fists. I think he was operating on the logic that if he just ignored me, I would get bored and go away.
I was till floating behind him when I happened to see Murtogg and Mullroy. They were watching me with there mouths gaping. Beckett lengthened his stride so I did too which made me look even more ridiculous. Anyone who saw this struggled to keep from snickering. Beckett had made his round and I was too busy waving at M&M to see that Beckett had stopped in front of his cabin. The result was me smashing into him and then quickly jumping back. He had turned and was fixing me with a particularly nasty glare as I tried to look innocent.
"As funny as your games seem to be, I have no time for them. Find something else to occupy your time." He ordered before walking into his cabin and slamming the door. I turned and smiled, quite pleased with myself. There's one more person who can't handle my special blend of psychosis.
'So this is ye olde Port Royal eh?' I thought as I took in the town from the deck of the Dauntless. We had finally made it and personally, it didn't look very impressive.
"Miss Megan," I heard from behind me. Beckett was standing there still trying to instill fear into me. Especially after the earlier.
"Do you have accommodations?" he asked.
"Yes. I'm staying at…my father's brother's nephew's sister's cousin's uncle's former roommate's house." I stretched. My lips pursed as I awaited his answer.
"I…I see." He said just as the ship finally docked. I raced over to the space where the gangplank was going to be placed. The men hefting the gangplank were moving incredibly slow. Grandpas in walkers could have moved faster.
"I suggest that you find some proper footwear before you begin your journey." Beckett suggested. I looked down and wiggled my toes in response. There was a welcome clunk of the gangplank settling into place on the side of the ship and I was running down it before it was probably safe.
"Thanks for the ride ya tea sippin fairy!" I called as I raced down the dock, eager to get away from the evil naval man. He will surely get his comeuppance. I ran the length of the dock until I came to dry land. Hands on my hips and feet shoulder with apart, I puffed out my chest a bit to appear more confident and took in the lay of the land. Well…what do I do now?
I wandered around aimlessly, looking in the storefront windows. Port Royal sure was boring. You see one 17th century Caribbean town, you've seen them all. Sora was not to be found. Neither was Will Turner nor Jack Sparrow. And believe me, I had my radar working over time in hopes of finding the Captain. I slowly ambled to the next shop and to what did my wandering eyes should appear? But a miniature boy! And a duck and a…dog thing. Sora was inside the dimly lit shop, looking like he was questioning the shopkeeper. I quickly scurried to the door and threw it open.
The small bell above the door announced my presence and the group whipped around to look at me. I had barely blinked when I felt a heavy 'fwump' on my stomach and I had to grab the doorjamb to keep from falling out into the street. I looked down and mood brightened when two happy yellow eyes stared back. I got my balance back and smiled.
"Little buddy!" I laughed with joy as he shimmied up to my right shoulder and hugged my head while making a purring noise. As he nuzzled the side of my face, I felt something brush my nose. I saw that it was a diminutive green vine.
"Bulba!" I raised my arm up so that he could grab on and work his way up to my other shoulder, where he promptly gave the left side of my face a tongue bath.
"My babies!" I squealed.
"What…how…how in the world did you survive? And you look like a drowned rat!" Sora asked rather obnoxiously. I let the insult slide because even I knew what I looked like.
"Sea turtles mate. Sea turtles." I knew this was bound to happen. I knew that if I ever came to this world, I would be stealing lines left and right. Sora quirked a brow.
"I hitched a ride."
"With who?"
"Beckett." Sora racked his brain for a face to put with the name.
"Who?"
"A jerk face naval officer."
"Watch your mouth missy. He does not take kindly to insults." The storekeeper suddenly chimed in.
"I'm a girl. Therefore I have clout. And plus he's not even here. And he didn't say anything when I called him a tea sippin fairy," the shop keeper paled a bit, "…so whatcha doin Sora?" I asked as I glanced around the dim store.
"I just talked to Elizabeth. Jack's missing. No one has seen him." Why does that not surprise me? He's probably out questing for rum.
"Have they ever considered tying a cowbell around his neck? And while we're at it, lets put one on Riku and Kairi too since you can't seem to keep track of them." Most people loose their pens or their glasses. Not Sora. Sora manages to lose two entire humans. I dodged a swat from Sora and waited for him to finish.
We walked out of the store with Sora less than happy. He wanted to help look for Jack but he didn't know where to start. He could be anywhere.
"Maybe Turner will know." I said as I walked slowly behind him, keeping an eye on the ground so I didn't puncture my foot on anything sharp.
"I doubt it but it never hurts to ask." Sora agreed after a pause. With that, we wove through the narrow streets to the smithy.
Sora huffed before walking into the smithy while I on the other hand had veered off to a few buildings down. I had spotted a clothing store and since I wasn't keen on the idea of traversing the Caribbean in this abomination that someone had the nerve to call a dress, I made a bee-line right towards it. The shop was small and cramped. I could barely get around without knocking something over. The small woman whom I assumed owned the shop, helped size me and she didn't really ask questions when I picked out a man's shirt and pants. The shirt I picked out was the traditional billowy sailor shirt in hunter green. The pants were just common work pants and they were black in color. I also picked out a simple black vest so that it didn't look like I was wearing a shapeless potato sack. Picking out boots was a bit more of a problem. I was cursed with big, wide feet. Finding ladies shoes was impossible so I had to go with men's. I put them on in the so-called dressing and paid for them with munny from the magical bank of Kingdom Hearts that seems to follow Sora everywhere.
The fact that I finally had some clothes that I could call my own put a bounce in my step as I walked to the smithy. Squibs was happily trotting beside me with Bulba in the pocket of my vest. Considering that my current outfit had made me feel pretty badass, I decided that I would kick the door open. Just for a dramatic entrance. Much to my embarrassment, that trick would have worked much better if the door was a pusher and not a puller. Story of my life. When I finally made my way in, Sora had a knowing look on his face while Mr. Turner looked at me like I had just crawled up from Davey Jones' locker.
"Hey. Sup." I smiled.
"Good day miss." He greeted with some uncertainty.
"Hola. Buenos tardes." I greeted because Turner is totally fluent in Spanish.
"She's with me sadly." Sora sighed. Turner let the relief seep into his shoulders, thankful that I wasn't just some crazy off the street.
"Ah. Then it's a pleasure to meet you Miss…?" he dropped off.
"Megan. So what's the story with Jackie?" I asked as I quickly shook his hand.
"Jackie? Oh I assume you mean Captain Jack Sparrow? He's missing. No one has seen or heard from him in weeks." Turner almost seemed nonchalant about the whole thing. He was probably rather relieved to not have him around. You have to know how to handle people like Jack...and me. Turner didn't quite have that skill yet.
"Where would he go?" Sora asked, getting back to business. Turner shrugged.
"Tortuga?" I asked. It seemed most sensible. It had rum. And babes. And a general lack of law enforcement. Sounds like a party to me!
"It's as good a place as any to start." Sora commented as he stroked his chin in thought. Sorry Sora but that only works for smart people like me. Will walked over to the donkey that was mindlessly going around its track and pulled him to a stop.
"I will accompany you." He declared. Bet no one saw that one coming.
"Is what's-her-name going to accompany us as well?" I asked in reference to Elizabeth. Now please understand that I don't hate the woman. I just don't particularly care for her. Too Mary-Sue for my taste. Always had to come in and wreck everything. Will's face suddenly had a look of distain, which was aimed in my direction.
"If she wants." He said tersely.
"Well let's go then. Time is of the essence." I said mystically. Sora snorted.
"I hate to be Johnny Raincloud but how are we planning to get to Tortuga? Walk?" he asked snidely.
"You can't walk to an island moron. It's a geographical feature surrounded by water." I spat back.
"I KNOW what an island is!"
"Anyway!" Turner interrupted us to prevent us from butting heads. "Let me worry about the transportation for now. I can procure a ship fairly quickly I should think."
He was. And much to my joy, Elizabeth decided not to come along. She's about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop anyway. The pirate coven was our next port of call.
Tortuga was loud, smelly, rambunctious, and up to it's neck in drunks. We carefully picked our way through the narrow streets in single file, heading towards a tavern that Turner knew of. He claimed it would be a good place to start. He mumbled that that's where the prostitute Scarlett hung around and that she was Jack's favorite. So apparently we were going to wring her like a sponge for the 411.
The tavern was just like outside except that all the drunks were now tightly packed in a dank and smoky room. There was a band playing a fast, jolly tune that made me consider dancing but I have no skill in dance. The music moves me but it moves me ugly. And the fact that there were a few brawls going on and some of the participants were firing their pistols sent me into a bit of a paranoid tizzy. Normally, I wasn't claustrophobic but I could start to feel it in the pit of my stomach. We were just skirting our way around the edge and I already had a death grip on Sora. Turner seemed to see someone worth talking to because he motioned for us to follow. Someone suddenly bumped into me, laughter slurred with inebriation, and I pretty much leapt on Sora to get away from the guy.
"What's your problem?" He asked as he tried to shake me off. He turned to see me nervously looking around, fists clenched ready to punch anyone who got too close.
"Do you want to wait outside?" All I could muster was a quick nod of my head before I was out of that tavern in two shakes of a lamb's tail.
As Sora and his gang as well as Turner were interrogating everyone, I took my mind off my paranoia and amused myself near the front entrance by drawing a series of large boxes in the dirt and hopping scotch. I used shattered rum bottles for pebbles and tossed the shards into various boxes. Squibs and Bulba were supervising near the wall of the inn, prepared to attack anyone who bothered me. Things became extra challenging when a drunken midget fell unconscious across both the 3 and 4 boxes and half of 5. Sora came out a few minutes later to inform me of what was happening I assume just as I was in the middle gracefully leaping over the midget to get to 6.
"What the…you know what I don't care. All right here's the deal. We found out from a rather questionable source that Jack is in Davey Jones' locker." He explained as he watched me make it to 8, turn around by hopping on one leg and preparing to go back.
"Hmm…is that so?" I asked as I came to the midget again. I leapt and made it easily to the second box before continuing to one and then finishing.
"And what are we going to do about that?" I asked. It was obvious to Sora that I had calmed down considerably now.
"Go after him obviously."
"You and what crew?" I asked as I grabbed an empty bottle, smashed it on the ground, picked up one of the larger shards and tossed it so it fell into a box. Three, four, five, and six were now covered. That meant that only one, two, seven and eight were hoppable.
The ship that we arrived here on could be roughly managed by a small group of people. Sora, Goofy, Donald, and Turner barely were able to get it into port without wrecking it. Notice that I was not counted in that roster. That's because I was considered dead weight. I couldn't remember the names for the right and left side of the ship and I giggled whenever someone said poop deck. So I spent most of the journey sleeping and avoiding sunburns.
"Do I look like a moron to you?" He asked. I didn't answer and simply looked at everything but him. He understood the gesture and I think I saw steam come out of his ears. To avoid his wrath, I started the hopscotch game again.
"We thought of that and have quickly assembled a crew."
"Oh really?" I asked as I prepared to leap over the midget, "Who's on our team now?"
"Some random pirates. Oh and Barbossa and those two incompetent pirates from his crew." The second 'Barbossa' came out of his mouth my foot dragged low in the air and caught on the midget. The result was mouthful of Tortugan dirt.
"Barbossa?" I yelped. Barbossa was cool. He was funny. But he was still a creeper. A pretty big one at that. One of those people you just seem to feel uncomfortable around but you don't know why. But still why was he coming? What was in it for him?
"He's the only one who knows the way there." Sora shrugged. He was also probably the only one who didn't run screaming at the mention of Davy Jones. I slowly stood and brushed myself off and looked at the ruined hopscotch boxes in dismay.
"When do we leave?" I sighed.
"As soon as possible. Hopefully within the hour. We want to get out into the open ocean before dark."
I stood at the deck rail and watched as the newly attained crew boarded. They appeared to be a bunch of shady characters. One actually bared his teeth and growled at me. I showed my own chompers and hissed back. Squibs barked viciously at him. Your mother was a hamster and you father smelt of elderberries! Barbossa and…those two guys…the ones with faces and hair…came on last.
"Good day Turner." He greeted with a nod to Will. He nodded briefly to Sora, Goofy and Donanld before he seemed to realize that there was another body on board. His yellow eyes fell on me.
"Who are you missy?" he asked. I leaned on the rail, attempting to look like I was meant to be there.
"My name's Megan." I said with a smirk. He smirked right back but turned and walked away to go over the details with Sora and Turner, leaving the two pirates behind.
"What are your names?" I asked. I already knew they were Pintel and Ragetti but my main problem was figuring out which ones were Pintel and Ragetti.
"Ragetti, Miss." The tall one said politely.
"Pintel." The short one answered. I always liked the two of them. I had a feeling that we would get along famously. I walked up to them and stood right in front of Ragetti, staring at him hard. He blinked and I watched as his wooden eye turned in its socket for a minute. God that thing was weird!
"Wha-what are you doing?" He asked, shrinking back a little bit for some reason. Because I am oh so threatening.
"You're tall…like spaghetti…and spaghetti sounds like Ragetti." I mumbled to myself.
"What?" he asked again.
"I can never remember who is who so I have to use the associative technique! Ragetti Spaghetti Ragetti Spaghetti!" I'm so darn proud of myself! I turned my attention to Pintel. Now that I had Ragetti Spaghetti, I didn't really think that Pintel needed that method but I don't want him to feel left out.
"Ok. You're kinda short and squat." He crinkled his nose a bit at the mention of his lack of height as I thought of a comparison, "Pint glasses are kinda short and squat. So when I think of pint glasses, all I have to do to remember your name is put an E and an L on the end! Hah! Genius!" I cheered giving myself a pat on the back. They quickly excused themselves after that. I shrugged and quickly darted to the bow of the ship to watch the launch. The only thing that could have made this better was a bunch of Muppets and Tim Curry randomly bursting out into song and dance!
I was on a cruise ship once. No one was allowed up at the bow. You know…something about safety of the public and all. I think it was more to prevent some idiot from committing suicide by jumping over the edge. Anyways I was always saddened by that fact. But now I could be up there and free to do the clichéd Titanic 'I'm king of the world!' bit. I climbed up on the rail and braced myself against the rigging and screamed it with great gusto. I also realized on that cruise ship that no matter how large the ship was, I had nothing that you could properly call sea legs.
"Get down from there before you hurt yourself." Sora called. I turned and saw that he, Turner, and Barbossa stood at the helm. I stuck my tongue out at him but climbed down nonetheless.
"Oh when'd ya turn into my wife?" I asked snidely. I heard a low chuckle and turned to see Barbossa smiling. So it's obvious now that he and I share the same sense of humor. That makes things easier. I wobbled my way up to the helm, only falling once on the stairs, and joined them.
"So what do we do now?" I asked. Barbossa turned and he had dangerous smile on his face.
"I don't know about we, but YOU…" he turned and grabbed a bucket from behind him and tossed it to me, "You missy, get to swab the deck." I looked at him incredulously and then down in the bucket that had large scrubbing blocks inside. Sora grinned evilly at me.
"Go on. Builds character." He made a shoo-shoo gesture. Mind still reeling over this fact that I was now reduced to cabin girl in about a millisecond, I suddenly gave Sora a sugary smile.
"That it does, that it does. Too bad for me because I have plenty of character. YOU on the other hand," my hand shot out and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. I then turned and started to drag him down the stairs. "Do not. And I will make sure that you build some."
"Take your hand off me!" He tried to swat at my hand. I heaved him bodily down the stairs.
"It's not on you it's on your shirt."
"Well get it off my shirt."
"I told you that you need character. This task has a high degree of difficulty and I'm going to make sure that it happens."
"You couldn't even spell difficulty." Sora said as I dropped the bucket on the deck where we would start.
"Sure I can! Mrs. D, Mrs. I, Mrs. F, F I, Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L, T, Y!"
Ragetti Spaghetti and Pintel Pint were sent out to help because we were fighting too much and I was aiming to get soapy water in Sora's eyes. Barbossa thought that they would be good mediators. Chi-ya! Ragetti Spaghetti might be a good one but once Pintel Pint saw how much fun I was having taunting Sora, he threw in a few barbs of his own. Eventually the deck was finished, I was exhausted and hungry, and Sora was still infuriating. Still trying to trip each other up, we made our way to the galley.
The next day, I was stuck with the wondrous task of stitching a tear in a spare sail.
"Can you even sew?"
"I am domesticated Sora. Of course I can sew!" I growled as I took a seat on a crate on the deck, frustrated that I wasn't able to roam free. Squibs was not making my job any easier by making new tears in the sail while Bulba remained in my vest pocket.
"But how good are you?" Sora asked, searching for any excuse to insult me.
"I've made my own clothes before." I said as I thread the thick string through the prehistoric needle. What I didn't tell him was that the pants I made tore down the inseam the first time I wore them. The sooner I get this done, the sooner I might be able to relax. Though I doubt it if Barbossa had any say about it.
As I went about mending the sail, I began to notice things. Things about the rest of the crew. They always seemed to be looking over their shoulders. And whispering. They always stood in groups, whispering, and they would quit whenever the caught me watching them. Oh that's not suspicious at all. They did it when Barbossa was nearby as well as Turner, Sora and his gang, and even Ragetti Spaghetti and Pintel Pint were around.
Days passed and I had not climbed the corporate ladder at all. Work, work, work and more work! Sora didn't have to work! What gives? Otherwise nothing of much interest happened. Well…ok I lied. Beckett and his crew, on their ridiculous quest to annihilate all the pirates in the world, had snuck up on us during the night and fired first cannon at daybreak when we were in range. The battle was intense but I don't remember much of it. I spent most of the battle being the ship's coward. Every ship needs one. So I sat huddled under the desk in the Captain's cabin, keeping an eye out for any stray cannonballs that might take my head off. Epic sea battles are cool in movies. Real life? Not so much. Especially if you don't know how to defend yourself or shoot a gun. I'd also probably be gunned down before I could fire a shot off my slingshot. Why couldn't I have been dropped into an easier, quieter game? Why not…Barbie Horse Adventures or something? No one of real importance died and we managed to get away by snapping the mast of Beckett's ship. We then sailed through that area with the icebergs and general coldness with everyone complaining except me. I'm from Minnesota! I can handle frigidness and snow easy peasy lemon squeezy! I have been properly conditioned by wearing the traditional Minnesotan native winter garb: shorts and a sweatshirt. Everyone glared at me as I walked around, happy as a clam.
We were now in some boring stretch of ocean and I was bored out of my skull. Barbossa and Sora (whom I had learned was helping him come up with things) had run out of things for me to do at the moment.
"Are we there yet?" I asked as I draped myself over the deck rail so that I was looking at the water being pushed aside by our ship. No one answered.
"Are we there yet?" I tried again.
"You wish." Came Sora's irked reply.
"I do wish. That's why I asked. So…are we there yet?"
"No."
"How about now?" I asked with a smile. Sora was getting more and more irritated.
"No."
"Now?"
"No."
"Now?"
"SHUT UP!" Sora bellowed. It was silent for a long pause.
"How about now?"
"ARGH!"
"If you're so bored missy, you can wash the dishes." Barbossa interrupted. I straightened up, turned and gave a blank stare.
"I'd rather not." I scowled.
"That was not a request." He smiled back. I can't win. Seriously why do I even try? I made a point to slump my shoulders dramatically as I trudged down to the galley.
Ragetti Spaghetti and Pintel Pint were down in the dark galley, already getting a head start on the monstrous task. There were dirty pots lined up floor to ceiling. Crud.
"Hey guys. How's it hangin'?" I asked as I watched them both scrub away at some dented pots.
"Will you stop talking like that? No one knows what you're talking about." Pintel Pint said rather irritably. If I've learned anything on this boat, it's what vexes all pirates: the sea, arithmetic (Ragetti and I had a huge debate on what 13 times 379 was. I had to work it out in a pile of flour eventually. It took me over a half hour because I kept getting different answers. Shows how great my math skills are), the dichotomy of good and evil, pronunciations for Kraken, and women. And now they're stuck with a woman who talks funny.
"Alright let me rephrase then." I said as I grabbed a barrel and sat next to them before grabbing an dirty pot and a sponge, "Avast mateys and shiver me timbers! Arrr! Arrrr!"
"Don't you ever do that again." Pintel Pint scrubbed viciously at a pot in response. It was silent for about an hour until I couldn't take the silence anymore. I decided to strike up a conversation.
"So…how about this crew?" I asked as I used the wire brush on a hard stain.
"What about them?" Ragetti Spaghetti asked.
"Noticed anything…strange about them?" I asked. Both stopped scrubbing at the same moment and stared at me like I had just asked the most ridiculous question they ever heard. I agree that they weren't the best people to ask, hell this boat was a floating psycho ward, but I needed more opinions. Sora blew me off when I attempted to converse with him about it. I asked Turner and Barbossa about it too. Turner had listened but didn't offer anything conclusive. Barbossa openly laughed at me and said and I quote "If there will be anyone mutinyin' around here, it will be me." Which makes absolutely no sense since he's the captain.
"I've observed their comings and goings. They appear most…sinister." They both laughed at how dramatic I was making this.
"How so?" Pintel Pint laughed.
"You haven't noticed that they stand around in groups and whisper all the time? But then they'll stop when ever we come around?" I asked looking at both of them for conformation that I was not the only one who noticed. Ragetti Spaghetti stared at the ceiling, lost in thought.
"You know…now that you mention it…they have done that a few times." He said mildly. I nodded enthusiastically.
"Yeah! And they're always looking over their shoulders!"
"We're pirates. Of course we look over our shoulders." Pintel Pint dismissed.
"Dissension in the ranks I tell ye'. There's a very clear split between them and us." I said as I swished some water in the pot to get the soap out. Pintel Pint rolled his eyes as he reached for a pan that looked like someone had melted crayons in it.
"Oh and who's us?"
"You, Ragetti Spaghetti, me, Sora, Goofy, Donald, Turner, and Barbossa."
"That Sora kid is weird." Ragetti Spaghetti commented.
"Too heroic for his own good." Pintel Pint added. I chuckled.
"Tell me something I don't know. But still that crew has me all bent out of shape. I got a funny feeling." I explained. I didn't notice someone come down the stairs and approach our group.
"It almost seems like they're planning to…" I felt something hard press up against the back of my head and the sound of a trigger cocking, "…to mutiny." I finished lamely. I looked at Ragetti Spaghetti and Pintel Pint. They were gazing hard at the man behind me. Some how, 'I told you so' just doesn't do justice.
"Get up. All of you." The gruff voice barked from behind me. The three of us slowly stood up.
"Turn around." He ordered me. I slowly did, heart hammering in my chest. I turned to see a gun barrel aiming right between my eyes. The man was your typical dirty scoundrel with nothing interesting about him making him memorable.
"He said ye were to smart fer' yer' own good." He growled as he pressed the barrel to my skin. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"A-and who is he?" I stuttered.
"The boss." Pirate-mutineer-guy said vaguely. He jerked his head in the directions towards the door. "And he wants ta see ya lassy." He said as he grabbed the back of my neck harshly and shoved me towards the stairs.
"You too." He said back towards Pintel and Ragetti and motioned them forward with his gun. The slowly walked up the stairs, pirate-mutineer-guy keeping my neck in an iron grip with the pistol now on my right temple as he manhandled me up the stairs.
The deck was a frenzy of activity. Pirates, the evil mutineering ones, were bustling around and generally being hoodlums creating a disturbance.
"Oi! Watch it!" Pintel Pint argued as he was shoved forward roughly after Ragetti Spaghetti. Another hooligan was trying to hold onto Squibs and was doing a very poor job. Squibs was pretty much a tornado of claws and teeth and soon the pirate would have tons of new scars to talk about.
"Put 'em in the boat with the others." Apparent-leader said with a nasty smirk. Instead of being very leaderly looking, he looked rather spindly and gawky. He must have become a leader by threats and blackmail. Sora and the rest of the good guy team were sitting in one of the jolly boats looking quite perturbed. The boat was hanging from the rigging, swinging freely and ready to launch. Leader (I never did learn his name), turned his eyes towards Barbossa.
"What be the meanin' of this?" Barbossa growled. I was shuffled towards the small boat, gun barrel still on my skull as Ragetti Spaghetti and Pintel Pint clumsily climbed in. They hastily sat down, waiting for what happened next and I was stopped from entering the boat. I watched as Squibs was tossed into the boat as well the pirate looking quite happy to get rid of the pest.
"I for one certainly don't want ta go to Davey Jones' Locker just yet. I still have 5 years of freedom till he comes after his debt." Leader explained. Ahh…so he made an agreement with Jones as well.
"An' having that Sparrah fella on the ship with Jones already looking for him wouldn't do me any good. Gotta escape the Kraken while I can. That's why I can't have ya bringin him back. So I thought to me'self that I'd best be rid of you. Plus it's always good for my reputation to have killed a Pirate Lord." He explained while smiling at Barbossa.
"Killed?" I asked rather confused. Leader turned to me slowly.
"Ah yes I forgot about you. Ye should have stopped sniffin' about earlier lassy. Ye' too smart for yer' own good." He said as he came up to me.
"So I've been told."
"And as for yer question, yes kill. Ye see lass…" he draped an arm around my shoulders. Didn't he ever bathe? I tried edging away but the pistol prevented me from going far.
"We're maroonin' ye so far from civilization of any kind that ye'll never make it back with out ye dying of starvation. Unless ye be cannibals. Oh but don't you worry, the edge of the world is right over there." He pointed across my face. I turned to look and saw the mist that signaled the end of the world. So much for the world is round theory. "And beyond that, Davy Jones' Locker. Ye can kill two birds with one stone! You'll get to Davy Jones Locker and while you're floatin around there dead an' all, ye can search for Sparrow."
"Sounds fantastic." I gulped. He finally removed his arm and signaled for the guy who was holding me hostage to lower his pistol. He stared at me for a second and I saw his eyes rake over me. He stroked his chin in thought.
"But ye know, if tha' journey makes ya squeamish, I'd be up for ye trying to negotiate yer way into me' crew. Les' face it, some o' them aren't the brightest. We could use a sharp mind like yers." He's got to be kidding me. Like I would even consider that! And now that I've seen what pirate life is like, it all the more fuels my need to become an invisible ninja.
"No thanks. You are a bad person and you should feel bad about it." I said with confidence and a single nod. Leader broke out into a fit of laughter and soon the rest of the crew was laughing with him.
"Yer a funny lass." He gasped as he gripped his sides. He was suddenly all business again.
"But ye made your choice an' I won't force ye." Since when do pirates not force people? Isn't that their job? He pointed towards the full jolly boat that was being lowered and was already about half way to the water.
"Join yer friends." He sneered. I turned and started to climb over the rail, planning on using the small ladder built into the side of the ship to get down when I paused.
'This isn't me. I don't think I'm usually this boring. But having a gun barrel in your face…' like right now one suddenly appeared in my face again, 'will do that to someone. I'm better than this. If I can't go out fighting, I'll go out with style.' I thought. Now how do I go out with style? My mind raced for an idea.
"A-actually, I do have one last request." I spoke up.
"What are you doing? Get down here!" Sora called as I heard the small boat settle into the water. I flung my leg back over so that both feet were standing on the deck.
"Whas' that?" Leader asked.
"I-I'd like to walk the plank in typical pirate-y fashion." I stuttered. I could do better but most of what I could do would probably require a lot of physical exertion on my part and physical exertion is what I gave up for Lent. Leader seemed to think it over.
"I suppose we can do tha'" he said with a smirk. He then called for someone to find a plank.
One was found relatively quickly and placed in position.
"There ye' are lassy. A plank all to yer self. Now start walkin." Leader smirked before the crew began to cheer. I nodded and sat down quickly to pull off my boots. Wet shoes make me a sad girl. I looked over the edge of the ship for the jolly boat. They were still hanging out right next to the boat and were all synchronized in giving me the you're-an-idiot look I've been so accustomed to getting. I tossed my boots down and Sora caught them with ease…before leaning over the side and dunking them in the water with a smile.
"Hey! I tossed those down to you for the sole purpose of keeping them dry and now you go and do that? What's the matter with you?" I screamed down. Pintel nudged Sora in the side while nodding and smiling in approval. Sora smiled back.
"You miserable little guttersnipe!" I yelled while pounding my fist on the railing. I suddenly felt a gun barrel in my back. I flinched and turned to look at Leader.
"As fun as this is…GET OFF MY SHIP!" he suddenly bellowed. I scrambled onto the long, thin plank. It wobbled dangerously under my weight as I walked till I was out half way. I did that kind of half bounce where your feet don't leave whatever your on but your testing the bounce anyway.
"We are waiting!" Sora called.
"I'll walk the plank when I'm good and ready. Get off my back. And shut up I need to concentrate." I snarled. A shot suddenly sounded and I jumped. It resulted in me flailing violently in order to remain on the plank.
"Wrong. You'll go now." Leader said as he pulled the hammer back, readying his pistol for another shot. Weird, the angrier he became, the better his speech became. Maybe I better move this along if I want to avoid a bullet to the back.
'She's going to attempt the most difficult maneuver she knows on the diving board…a somersault.' I thought like an announcer as I squared my shoulders. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"Ready Bulba?" I asked quietly to my pocket. There was a single movement. I think that translated into a yes…maybe?
"We go in style." I murmured to myself finally. I then ran to the end and launched myself into the air.
I miscalculated the bounce of the plank. I figured that I would get a full revolution like always and enter feet first. What I got was a revolution and a half. Which ended up working out rather perfectly because I had finally achieved the somersault dive which I was never able to accomplish at home since the diving board was too low. I came up smiling.
"You're an idiot." Sora called out to me.
"Yes I'm aware of that. Anything else?" I asked as I swam over to the small boat, which had drifted a fair amount in the direction of the mist. I was hauled aboard and I settled in next to Sora.
"So…" I asked as wrung my hair out, purposely on Sora.
"So what?" Sora asked as he pushed me away.
"What do we do? Is going after Jack still the master plan?" It was silent as we tried to comprehend what happened. Almost at the same time, we watched as the large ship began to move away from us and back towards wherever. We were now stuck in the unforgiving ocean with no supplies, just feet from the edge of the world.
"We go where the current takes us. And it's bringing us swiftly to the end of the world." Barbossa said after a moment.
"That's the spirit! I knew you guys wouldn't give up." I smiled.
"No…we just have no oars. The pirates saw to that." Sora explained.
"Oh." I finished lamely. "Bollocks."
"Indeed." Barbossa agreed. I held a small party in my head at the fact that there was no longer any work for him to force upon me.
"Sora?"
"What do you want now?"
"I just wanted to say…I TOLD you so!" Sora glowered at me.
"Sora you're a nice kid…baaaad judge of character though." Squibs chirped in agreement.
It was only a few more minutes until the swift current brought us within 3 feet of the end. I remembered the movie. To get to Jones' locker required a free fall of X-amount of feet and that terrified me. I had a death grip on the side of the small boat, anxiously watching the mist, which now softly clung to the skin.
"Ready?" Barbossa yelled above the roar of the falling water before cackling. We finally passed through the mist and I watched as the bow hung in space for a minute. I looked over the side and saw nothing but water plunging down into the dark, strangely red abyss.
"No!" I screamed just as the boat finally went over and we were now in a complete freefall. I lost grip of the boat when it flipped upside down and now had nothing to cling too as I screamed like a girl. About a minute had passed and I had almost screamed myself hoarse when I noticed something rather discombobulating. The wind scratched at my face but it didn't seem like it was going as fast as it should have been. But maybe the rushing water that was next to us was just making it seem that way. I looked at Sora and the rest of the crew to see them looking rather relaxed. Even Squibs seemed to be enjoying himself as he lazily rolled in the air. Barbossa was 'lying' on his back and had his arms crossed behind his head with his eyes closed. Like he was just catching Z's on a warm, sunny afternoon.
"Quit screaming!" Donald squawked. I did as he asked and noticed that I actually seemed to be slowing down mid-fall, like I was just gently floating down.
"What in the world is going on?" I yelled, confused. Barbossa laughed.
"What? Did you think it'd be quick?" he asked, tipping his hat over his eyes. I will never EVER understand the mechanics of this world. Slowly falling, fish people, turning boats upside down to get out of DJ's Locker, hearts in chests that still miraculously remain functional…I'll be crazier than a fruit bat by the end of all this.
I can't quite explain what happened after that. We…we were falling for the longest time and I was just starting to enjoy the weightlessness when we suddenly found ourselves about 20 feet underwater with no oxygen to speak of. Stunned, we all scrambled for the surface and broke free with loud gasps for air.
"I'm…confused." I said with a frown as I tread water. Strangely enough, our boat didn't resurface. Neither did my boots…
"Like that's anything new."
"Sora I have a favor to ask." I smiled.
"What is it?"
"Don't do that annoying thing."
"What annoying thing?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.
"You're doing it right now! Talking! How does that not drive you crazy?" I asked. I would just like to point out right now that Sora's hair has magical powers. It was drenched and flat before it suddenly spring back into place in its neat and perfect spikes.
"Enough!" Barbossa barked. "Sparrow will most likely be somewhere over there." He said looking off into the distance at a thin spit of land.
It looked like the edge of a desert. It was barren and bleak, the only thing were mountainous sand dunes. Wordlessly, we all began to swim towards it, easily making good time as we cut through the eerily glasslike water. Great. I'm going to traverse a desert and I don't even have boots anymore. I'm ill prepared.
If there was ever a moment that I wanted back in my life, it was when I discovered that I scream exactly the same as if a Great White is going to attack me…or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. This explains that when I finally reached a depth that I could touch and my foot touched the grassy bottom; I ran screaming from the water.
"What the?" Sora yelled, following behind me at a much more leisurely pace.
"Yucky toes!" I cried finally making it to shore. "It touched me!" Sora did nothing but shake his head and probably curse his luck for being stuck with me. We took a minute to recuperate, after all Barbossa wasn't as young as he used to be, before deciding on what to do next.
"Jack could be anywhere." Turner said as he took in the lay of the land.
"Do we split up or travel as one big herd?" I asked, hands braced on my knees as I caught my breath.
"We'd cover more ground if we split up." Turner commented.
"What do you think Barbossa?" Goofy asked.
"Split up." He agreed after some thought. "If Jack happens to come this way, you three can stall him till we get there. He's our only ticket out." He pointed to Ragetti Spaghetti, Pintel Pint, and I before turning and leading the charge.
"But I wanna come with you guys!" I said as I tried to follow after the group. Sora held his hand out to stop me.
"No. You'll just complain the whole time."
"I won't complain! When do I complain? I never complain." That was such a blatant lie.
"What do call this?"
"…Not complaining."
"Stay. Put. Here." He growled before turning and jogging to catch up with the rest of the herd. I watched them until they disappeared over a large rolling sand dune. Sighing, I trudged back down to join Pintel Pint and Ragetti Spaghetti whom were sitting down and trying to get comfortable. I joined them by sitting down in a huff. After fuming to myself for a bit, I finally relaxed.
"Ya'll know any good magic tricks?" I randomly asked. I was ignored. I twiddled my thumbs for a while in silence. Squibs was off in the distance, digging in the sand for who knows what. Probably trying to dig to China. Bulba had settled next to me and was lazily turning the sand over with his vines.
"It's hot." I commented, rolling up my sleeves.
"Yeah it is." Ragetti Spaghetti remarked absentmindedly, wooden eye still spinning in its socket. That thing could give Mad Eye Moody's a run for his money.
"This sand is itchy. It's getting in my pants."
"That's nice." Pintel Pint sighed sarcastically as he picked at a loose thread on his pants. He gave it an especially hard yank and it snapped off. I started to draw in the sand with my finger.
"Did you know that sand is a natural exfoliant?" Pintel Pint sighed irritably. It was silent for a minute.
"I'm hungry." I whispered. Pintel Pint pushed me face first into the sand.
And there you have it! The longest chapter that I have ever written to make up for my long absence. Most people don't know this but when I write my fanfic chapters, my goal is to have at least 20-25 pages written per chapter in Word before I update. This one was 34 because I felt so horrible for leaving you sitting there for 10 months *wails apology*. Anyways I'm up at my family's cabin right now, battling the barracudas of the sky (mosquitos) in order to update!
I've been obsessed with Assassin's Creed lately. It looks like such an amazing game but one in which I would have extreme difficulty playing. I love watching other people play it though. So, just to spark debate and fist fights, I have to ask: Altair or Ezio?
Preview: Will they find Jack? Will they find out if Demy-chan has finally bitten the dust? And is that the last we've seen of that silly Mr. Beckett? R&R if you've tried walking like Lord Cutler Beckett!
